#lifeofthespirit

[thelifeofthespirit]

why do i think of you?

Why do I think of you today?

Why does this moment worry my heart?

I wish to be true to my feelings

I wish to understand you

I wish you near, but I know that’s not where we are meant to be.

 I see you across the room and I draw a soft smile

Selfishly I want you for me

But you’ve never been mine to have

Yet I am pulled in your direction everyday

I used to know so much,

But now in your existence, I am defeated.

 Why do I think of you today?

Why does this day feel different?

I think you recognize me, I think you know my intentions

But your actions contradict my intuitions

My attraction for you has surely deceived my senses.

 Even when I close my eyes, I see you face

I am a prisoner of my own making

With a wandering mind,

I am consumed by my desires.

 Why do I think of you today?

Why did I not meet you sooner?

When you heart was unbroken

Maybe then you would have looked my way,

And my heart would not long for what it cannot have.

-Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

a letter written but never sent

I now know destiny was never on our side

I waited for you disappointed and weary

But I guess you will never know the pain I felt when you didn’t show

 I called you, but you kept me at a distant

While I waited I still trusted

That day you ignored me and rushed my speech

I was offended, but time was never what we lacked

 I read your clues and gave you space

I chose to break my own heart to make you feel comfortable

That day you didn’t share your truth

I was distressed, but compassion was never what we lacked

 Not ever did I doubt your love for me,

but your desire for us has since expired

That day I reached out to you and you made me feel a fool for trying

I was heartbroken, but joy was never what we lacked

 I don’t doubt you cared for me once before,

but your commitment has since vanished

That day you said you will be there for me, but never was

I felt defeated, but optimism was never what we lacked

 My heart loved, and it feels no regret

We were passionate lovers and distance was but a mere nuisance

I believe we were meant to encounter,

but now I know destiny was never on our side

You will never know the pain I write these words

But love was never our fault, the stars simply failed our passion

I now know destiny was never ours to command

 I loved you then and today, let us rejoice further still

Let’s not allow destiny to bring despair to our loving spirits

Goodbye my love, may happiness meet you on your way

 - Odette Ntambara -

[befriendedstranger]

My mom’s home cooking plus a deep discussion about virtues and spiritual truths with my girls and friends — what more can I ask for? #spiritualconversations #studycircle #dinner #family #friends #momscooking #lifeofthespirit #bahai (at Arlington, Virginia)

[thelifeofthespirit]

i found you

I knocked on love’s door

And love did indeed call me in

But for some reason my heart chose to draw back

Love asked what I needed

But my mind refrained from responding with care and compassion

 Love called me in, but my heart drew back

My body was there, but my mind was not willing

My lips spoke with kindness, but my heart was not at peace

And yet love welcomed me in

 I fantasied of this love

I saw love as my destiny

But for some reason my heart drew back

And yet love did not turn me away

 I entered with a cautious heart, and got surprised by my pleasure

I entered with a broken heart, and got introduced to gladness

I entered with a confused heart, and now I love confidently

I entered with a considerate soul, and now I am with my soulmate

I entered with a closed heart, and love broke down my barriers  

 Thank you for standing by me, offering all to me as I journeyed to find self

Thank you for waiting patiently for my heart to decide its fate

You trusted that my mind would come around one day

You did not give up on my burned-out passion

Am glad to have followed and ignored my doubts

 -Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

War Resisters' International a global network of grassroots antimilitarist and pacifist groups, working together for a world without war

[thelifeofthespirit]

anxious heart

As I hear the sounds of summer

I long for your sweet kiss

As my heart is stripped of its armor

A hint of a smile escapes my lips

  Hold me like you won’t let me go

Let us sing to a song in my heart

Kiss me like you in awe

As we dance in delight

  With clear skies above

Love me like you mean it

Bereft of all my senses I hold on to your love

As you caress me the way you know is right

  With an unexpected pause

I see fault in my pulse

  Odette Ntambara

[thelifeofthespirit]

[thelifeofthespirit]

today

We experience life in several ways

Each of us understanding it differently

Today I have learned to accept

Today I have learned to interact

Moreover, today I spoke from the heart

Today I have learned to share

Today I have learned to be patient

And today I listened to my heart

 Today I learned to understand

Today I learned to pay attention to others

And today I heard my subconscious

Psalms 121 says:

I look up to the skies, where does my help come from?

My help comes from God, the creator of all being

And I say:

Hear my cry oh Lord, brought on by my fears,

As my heart is so overwhelmed,

I cry unto you, Lord please show me the way

That is higher than I am

 Today I heard from within,

I saw what I could not before,

Today I discovered the truth, the truth about me

Today I feel cause to look forward, forward for another today,

Where I can see and actually recognize,

Where I do not only hear but also listen,

Listen to my inner being

Today I learn about the light,

The light that is within me,

Asking to be lit,

 Today I sit in silence,

Not letting my mind wander,

And feel safe in my surrounding.

 Today I trust,

Today am creative

And this is my voice,

These words are evidence of my being!

 Odette Ntambara

August 2010