the life of the spirit

In silence I listen to my inner being.In a circle I see the truth, simplicity and love. Holding hands we share our diverse cultures in unison. Holding hands we transforming power. Simplicity,integrity, equality, community and peace is the space I choose to create.

[thelifeofthespirit]

playing the part

Playing your part

Playing the expected

Playing the required role

Playing that, that was chosen for you

What if it all stopped?

The fake smiles hone

The fake speech spoken

The fake life lived

 What would you do then?

Would you reclaim your true self?

Take up a new one or do nothing at all?

 While you feel that joy with the what ifs

Would you really cast aside what you have now?

Would you choose a dream you thought you had let go and take on an adventure you had forgotten?

Would you go along and listen to all the things your heart desired,

And not be bothered by the expectations of the other?

Or even do the things you dared not to when you thought everyone was watching?

 What if you thinking yourself an imaginary place

Where freely you are inspired to talk and your inner nature discovered

Where the river flows endlessly

And wild landscapes hypnotize

Anxiety and stress no longer exist

Feeling a soothing relaxation

Your soul is at balance and inner peace is felt

Allowing you to face and live in the role you deserve, a role you choose

Receiving positive sensations, feeling a sense of completeness

 What if this place came to be?

And you can go to it at any time

Following that path to nothing, and going inwards and outwards to reach it

After all it is your story to pave!

-Odette Ntambara- 

[thelifeofthespirit]

what will become of us?

What have we become on a Thursday night?

This curfew has us chasing our own tails trying to fit in that after work drink

What will become of us later?

Reaching for our digital gadgets in our homes is what’s left of that cheerful Thursday happy hour blend

Trying to find a soul on opposite sides of the world to fill the time, is our new 7pm

Misery loves company, so they say, perhaps we not all alone after all

With feelings unfelt and misinterpreted smiles, we sit watching our many screens and try to strike up a conversation and evening imagining a new world

Blissfully we share stories from our days gone by

With a drink in hand we say cheers to an evening gathered

Laughing and teasing we drink in the spirit of the Thursday happy hours we miss.

 What have we become on this Friday night?

This curfew has us chasing moments and reliving the good old weekend vibes

What will become of us tomorrow?

Take me back to February when I was up on stage reciting a poem about a beautiful drunk I had met in a club

Limited in movement by a virus we do not wish to encounter, our choices are lessening

This curfew has got us thinking of the things I chose not to do, and would gratefully do with an hour or two added to our day

But, here we are. I don’t know, but accepting that this is here to stay may be the best way to thrive

But this curfew has got us wishing back those themed weekly house parties

What will become of us?

Take me back to January when I was sipping champagne with friends ending on the hour of my choice

and  ringing  in the new year, and planning for the holidays we would soon take

Instead am now sitting on my veranda missing the trips I never took and reminiscing of the close contacts of lovers

Hell, I’d even gladly go back to those Saturday nights dancing to that terrible music in that club

Oooo, those days when we could stay out later than the sun!

 -Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

that wise head on young shoulders

What you asked for is not what came your way

You learnt very quickly that money is not as important as your time and chose to live in the now

You lived through that pain that no one recognized, and learnt that you can’t be everything to everyone

That wise head on those young shoulders took to the world a message of hope

Not accepting defeat, you took that frown and taught it to smile

You walked right through those barriers as though they were absent

You were not fazed by the uncertainty that awaited you,

But instead welcomed the journey that chose you.

 That wise head on those young shoulders got caught up in the game of would you rather

And came out dancing and singing along to the songs of resilience on the other side.

As things became too familiar to disregard, too different to bear and the feelings of entrapment mounting 

You learnt very quickly not everything is black and white and chose to embrace the in-between.

As your purpose came to you in raging waves,

 Instead of crumbling in despair you chose to welcome the storm that is you!

 You went on to find that forgotten strength and wore it again in confidence.

You saw a friend in distress and instead of judgment you offered a supportive hand

In true fashion of not losing the fight

You walked not in arrogance but in grace, 

beginning as you were meant to go on!

 Odette Ntambara

[thelifeofthespirit]

fierce beauty

The thing about the good old days is that you never really know that you are already in them

I’ve had some great times in my 30 years of youth

I’ve reminisced more times than I can count

But as good as the past times have been, my present days have equally been unforgettable

Let me tell you a story about one fiercely loyal beauty I know, and have the opportunity to still call my friend.

 We first met at a Kigali quiz night introduced to me by an equally awesome beauty

This dark-haired lady, a lover of red wine and some good hip-hop rhymes took me on a wondrous and indescribable journey of growth.

At times I found myself filled with delight even when I did not care for the rap.

But because she always shared her beautiful smiles and laughter with me and danced with great swag I obliged and always found my groove.

 Friendship is a gift, and this fierce beauty has bested herself in filling my spirits with abundant joy

She sometimes enjoys a bit of good whisky and a conversation to match and takes me on a road of great adventures when we meet.

This fierce beauty always keeps me on my toes, maybe it’s just as well

For courage has never always been my friend

I hope she knows I got her back, because I know she always got mine

This fierce beauty always tells it like it is, no bullshit can get past her bureau of intelligence.

Protective with her friend’s heart, she will put you in your place if you dare to overstep.

Committed to her work, makes time for her friends and never forgets her family, this beauty is just the wonder woman of authenticity.

She motivates me to find my way and trusts me when I sometimes doubt my own judgment, because that’s just the comforting, kind and caring spirit that guides her path.

These positive vibes I feel in her presence everyday assures me she is the friend I sought.

 By Odette Ntambara

19th Apr 2020 

[thelifeofthespirit]

misspelled love

I misspelled love and got caught up in the letters of it all. Broken to my core, I had lost the order in which they placed. We spoke a language I thought we both understood but turns out it was just wishful thinking on my part. Unscrambling to make sense of it all, you touched me without touching me and looked at me without seeing me. And thinking that was all I needed to find my joy, I was wrong. Now every letter has lost its character.   I misspelled love and I got to understand life and in turn got wrapped up in your song. Trapped and draped in confusion my gates eyes let the tears flow. Misunderstanding the tears, I shed, I question the purpose of it all, Was it love? What is love? Where does it come from? How do I know it’s here? Day dreaming and reminiscing of future pasts, I am lost.

I misspelled love and heard your knock on my heart's shield. Excited and eager I let down my guard, only for you to leave soon after I had let you in. Unexpected and heartbroken, I vowed to never be blinded by desire. With my battling and regretful heart, my passion has since wilted.   I misspelled love and remembered the pain of the one that led me to pursue what was never really mine to have but learned desire is not what drives my gain. Trusting and awkward, I felt confined to my fate. Bleeding in love misplaced, I was defeated, as all my senses seemed forgotten. Living in what I do not understand, unstoppable in my lust, I faulted.   I misspelled love and got lost in your mystery where I found myself unrestricted. Exhausted and dejected, I reflected. In your curious nature you defeated my insecurities but you were gone before I even knew I had you. You came wrapped as my present but revealed to be another, and instead deflated my self esteem when all I wanted was to love you and I to be your gift. 

 I misspelled love and now you just that forgotten lover I never had

-Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

Quarantine art. #Day8. #sketch #drawing #pencil #lines (at Kigali, Rwanda)

[thelifeofthespirit]

Quarantine art. #Day6 #sketch #blackandwhite #pencil #lines #shade (at Kigali, Rwanda

[thelifeofthespirit]

the virus

It is said this virus came from Wuhan

Affecting thousands along the way and spreading fear from America to Iran

I’ve been kept in my house listening to all the greatest hits from Iris,

whilst the while acknowledging there was definitely a crisis.

I knew it was serious when I had to take her to the airport and said bye sis,

as she had to go back home to ease her restlessness  

This virus is a new strain to us, and we’ve seen many through the years now

Am freaking out that I can’t leave this place even if they allow

Sanitization  is clearly not enough

I may just have to rely on that good old soap and water stuff

 I don’t know what am going to do about this corona,

But I  may try to keep myself busy by learning  a new language, maybe Shona.

Can’t take my mind off this virus that’s causing fear in my socioeconomic,

But maybe I keep my mind on it, seeing as it is now declared a pandemic.

 You cough and we think you toxic

You sneeze and we think you alarming  

You touch and we think you selfish

This virus had got us thinking hatefully

But as we are reminded to wash our hands

And practice good hygiene around our friends

I feel pleased in our efforts  

Lock-downs are imposed

And for those with symptoms of that virus, mandatory self-isolation is enforced

I sit and try work but all I keep thinking about is that tweet on the 40-year Olympics curse

And how all the sports and other big events are tossed out to the universe

Humour is circulated among the excitement

as it helps in releasing tensions in this predicament  

 I don’t know where you’ve been these days,

But when you come over, I know you may have gotten that virus from that place

and I know you not the only one.

Knowing that many have come and gone,

please wash those hands before uttering another word,

And I’ll do the same so we both assured.

Because when all is said and done, cleaning our hands is the best defence

 Hearing of new cases on a daily basis around the world has brought irrationality,

We stock up more than we need because we have feelings of uncertainty.  

Advised to stay in our homes and distance our social,

Knowing and understanding our psychological mechanism during quarantine becomes crucial

As we sing…we are in this together

We hope that tomorrow will be a pleasure  

  Odette Ntambara

20.03.20

[thelifeofthespirit]

when you look at her...

When you look at her you will see a girl

A girl that is confident but a little lost

A girl that is frightened of what to come but still hopeful

A girl that is talented but a little unmotivated

You will see a girl that is smart but can’t seem to find her way

A girl that is a bit confused but not about her being

A girl that is creative but can’t seem to find her script

When you see that girl, you will see life.

 When you look at her you will see a girl

A girl that is anxious but full of joy

A girl that seems content but unsettled by her thoughts

A girl that is hurting but still discovered her smile

A girl that can be happy even when she is consumed with sadness

A girl that has seen the storm and overcame it every time

When you see that girl, you see strength.

 When you look at her you will see a girl

A girl that is ecstatic and bold

When you look a little closer you will see a girl that is rattled, a girl in pain but not letting her spirits dashed

She is that girl that has been through lots and stands among her opposites and shines

She is that girl that lives her passion, expresses her ambitions and encourages her peers

She is that leader that inspires

When you see that girl, you see beauty.

 When you look at her, you will know she never gives up

You will see a girl that is stronger than her stereotype

You will see a girl that is wonder

When you hear her voice, you will know she is her

She will voice her weakness and not let them define her fate

She will voice her concerns and not get lost in her fear

She will voice her hopes and aim to achieve

She will voice her opinions and not let disapproval deter her objective

 When you look at that girl, you will see why we celebrate.

-Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

waited too long

I waited too long to say what I was meant to say

Yesterday would have been that prefect time

But I wasted so much time wondering and second guessing

 I waited for the signs

I waited for the spirit to speak to me

I waited for another to make the move

All I did was wait, and the right time never came

 I waited too long to do what I intended to do

Today would have been that day

But I couldn’t reach my courage in time

 I waited for the right occasion

I waited for the right words

I waited for the right reasons

All I did was wait and time took me by surprise

 I just wanted to express my thoughts

I wanted to understand our modesty

I wanted to enjoy in my being

I wanted to share in my laughter

Did I misuse my chance to live or am I where I am meant to be?

 -Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

a beautiful drunk

 The boy that took my heart by surprise, got me feeling that sweet summer breeze

That boy introduced to me by fate, got me faintly blushing across the room

 That boy dressed in a t-shirt and ankle folded jeans

Drink in hand and moving to his beat on the dance floor

My eyes completely fixed on him, looked back at me with an alluring smile

But still I missed my cue

He will never know how attractive he appeared to me 

 That tipsy boy still holding his own, got me feeling warm

That boy looked not right but still he is the one that caught my eye

He saw my gaze and pulled me right in with his charm and into his tune

 I found my way to his space and confidently pulled him near

He perfectly held my waist as I swayed my hips from side to side dancing into the night 

Close I felt his breath against my neck and got his scent

Oh, how taken I was in his spell

That boy with short curly hair, got me feeling all kind of joy

He brushed his hair from his face and drew a smile my way as we danced

He stumbled now and again and turned it into a dance, a move only he can make

In the mood he gently caressed my hips

I met his gesture with a cheeky smile 

Oh, how taken I was in his presence

 Great night, a couple of drinks, great company..the night is only getting started, he said

I observed his movement and joined in his groove

One sudden step front then back…he’s feeling the beat

A burst of admiration giggles overwhelms me

That boy unintentionally got me loving all of him 

 That boy with his drink in hand…one…two…three and one for the road, got me daydreaming his kiss

With his soft smile, he enchanted me

With his gentle gaze, he confused me

With his warm touch, my heart skipped numerous beats

 Goodbye and thanks for the dance, I said

See you back on the dancefloor sometime soon

Oh, what a beautiful drunk he was

 -Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

my earth

In its drained lakes, exposed deserts, stripped swamps and polished woods its shades of brown are unveiled.

In its ample forests, untouched leaves, unearthed grass and fertile plains its shades of green are revealed.

In its open skies,  flowing streams, bursting oceans its shades of blue are exposed.

In its rushed waves, stoney mountains, snowed summits and hidden caves its beauty is discovered.

In its sharpened cliffs, distant horizons, sandy beaches, flatted grounds and hardened floors its shape is formed. 

In its living creatures, dripping skies, flourishing farms and paved paths an adventure is encouraged. 

-Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

why do i think of you?

Why do I think of you today?

Why does this moment worry my heart?

I wish to be true to my feelings

I wish to understand you

I wish you near, but I know that’s not where we are meant to be.

 I see you across the room and I draw a soft smile

Selfishly I want you for me

But you’ve never been mine to have

Yet I am pulled in your direction everyday

I used to know so much,

But now in your existence, I am defeated.

 Why do I think of you today?

Why does this day feel different?

I think you recognize me, I think you know my intentions

But your actions contradict my intuitions

My attraction for you has surely deceived my senses.

 Even when I close my eyes, I see you face

I am a prisoner of my own making

With a wandering mind,

I am consumed by my desires.

 Why do I think of you today?

Why did I not meet you sooner?

When you heart was unbroken

Maybe then you would have looked my way,

And my heart would not long for what it cannot have.

-Odette Ntambara-

[thelifeofthespirit]

remember us

Say you will think of me,

Even when your path leads you astray.

Say you will think of me,

Even when our distance multiplies.

Remember those million kisses we shared and the lovemaking thereafter

Remember those sweet whispers and the laughter they brought  

In your assorted flavours of love, my soul was compelled to know you

Enchanted in your bitter sweet delight, my heart was engaged

Scented in delicate daffodils, the essence of you completed me

 Say you will think of me,

Even when hope abandons you.

Say you will think of me,

Even when life contains you.

 In our touch, passion comes to life

Let this not be another love story that never came to be

-Odette Ntambara

[thelifeofthespirit]

Johnny Drille - Romeo & Juliet ( Official Music Video )

[thelifeofthespirit]

smile

I am known to appear in response to laughter

And Sometimes I just pave the way for happiness

I make myself visible in flattering situations, which makes whoever is wearing me more likable and approachable

I also help those from different cultures to communicate when words become a limit

I appear slightly when one is shy and in some people this tends to change the colour of their cheeks

When this happens people call me blush,

Which makes me flex the muscles at the side of my mouth with pleasure

Often my gestures are a bit extravagant and I burst out in laughter

I am not always happy but when my expression is among others am turned upright

 When I am happy I ask the whole face to join me in my quest for joyful spirits

Some people don’t like it when we come together as it creates lines on the corner of their eyes in excitement

They even go as far as to say the wrinkles we create make them look ugly

But I think we make them look beautiful and honest in their giggles

Usually they don’t mind the folds when they are around people who love them

But our appearance can be discouraging in other instances

 At times I appear on some faces in a flirtatious way

And labelling me a mystery, usually for this I need the assistance of the eyes

I love the eyes, they are complementary of my beauty

It’s so much easier to show my intentions when the eyes are in the same mood as I am

I tend to appear mainly in social situations when happiness, joy and amusement are present

But sometimes I have no control and I appear when anxiety arises and am turned into a grin

As a result, whoever wears me is branded socially awkward which leaves me in a temporary frown

 I’ve always thought myself to be candid

But my intentions are misread frequently

On some faces I am visible in the form of a smirk

And whoever is wearing me is considered arrogant or mischievous

However when am noticed on a baby’s face a contagious beam is evident on those around

It’s moments like these I recognise who I am

I am me because you choose to be you and together we are smile

 Odette Ntambara

[thelifeofthespirit]

humbled heart

I remember that day I met you

the time I couldn’t stop staring into your alluring eyes

the time I really came to know you

that moment I kissed your lips

and uttered my love for you

 For the first time I fell in love.

Falling deeper in love everyday and loving the pleasures you bring

Life couldn’t be any more satisfying.

 But I remember when doubt crept in.

Undesirable sorrow followed shortly after and took over my mindfulness

and bore a fruitless life.

 Having you in my life confused me

it deceived my purpose, excited my senses and disrespected my heart.

But I yearned for you still

and thought of you my forever.

 Not being with you was unthinkable

and yet being with you wounded my being.

Ignoring my senses, I threw caution to the wind

and rode the love train to everywhere.

 I blamed my heart for inviting you to stay and falling for you to soon

when really my heart was helpless in loving you to a fault.

 -Odette Ntambara-