sae wasn’t your first kiss.
your first kiss—he learns reluctantly—was far from perfect. but all he could think about was that it wasn’t him.
it’s still all he can think about now, when you’re both slightly tipsy after nursing a bottle on a cool summer night. sitting on the floor of your living room like you’re teenagers again. you’ve only just told him, a bit embarrassed about your first kiss that ended up being a huge let down.
“it’s stupid, i know,” you admit, more embarrassed about telling him about it than you initially thought. but what really kills you is the silence you’re left with.
the kind of silence that makes you want to keep rambling, even if it means embarrassing yourself even further in the process. the uncertainty around you making you anxious. sae somehow manages to always bring out that side of you. even as kids. and foolishly, you allow it to happen with the added mix of alcohol.
but when you turn to actually look at sae in the face, you realize he’s not judging you. his expression is also void of any signs of second hand embarrassment like you had expected. instead, he’s watching you, with a hard look on his face, like he’s lost in thought.
“it’s not stupid,” he breathes out, voice hushed.
and he swallows—hard. your eyes catching onto the movement of his throat.
and even though you’re a bit tipsy and delirious, everything seems to align all at once. wordlessly. thoughtlessly.
(sae’s head starts to dip down, slowly. as if waiting for you to stop him.)
your first kiss was far from perfect in fact. but you always knew it was because there was something missing. something really important.
(sae leans in, his nose brushing against yours.)
and you think about how you always wanted sae to be your first.
but what sae couldn’t do first, he makes up for anyone that could possibly come after.
his hand cradles your nape gently, like you’re fragile in his hold as his lips press against yours almost tentatively. it’s soft, it’s gentle, like a cool breeze in the afternoon when the sun starts to dip. his lips aren’t insistent— like your first. they aren’t prodding or pushing, but rather brushing against yours like it’s the most normal thing to do. like he’s savoring it just as much as you are.
it’s all you ever wanted.
and maybe it’s because it’s sae, who is as familiar as your own reflection by now. or because deep down you always thought about this moment since you were younger. when you realized you liked him as more than a friend.
but it feels like everything just falls into place. all at once. effortlessly. as it was bound to happen.
