Block Towers and Desired Independence- Agere!AU (Part 38)
A/N: This is another simple side chapter that follows CG!Logan and Toddler!Patton through the day. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but I threw out a chapter-idea related to Patton being bratty for the first time a while ago, and now i'm bringing back to write something. Hope yall like it.
Also this includes Patton crying, and pulling himself out of little space for a bit to talk to Logan easier. but also fluff.
--
"Patton, baby. I wanna get upppp," Logan whined, half asleep with Patton still laying on him from the night prior. Patton had declared that he was spending the night with his boyfriend the night before because 'Logan worked too hard and they never did anything romantic'. Of course Logan didn't mind to cuddle him, or entertain the fact that Patton wanted a cutesy and overly-romantic relationship with him, but Logan still had a hard time waking Patton up in the morning most of the time.
"Noooo, wan sleep," there came his sleepy words of defiance as he snuggled his head into Logan's chest. Logan's eyes widened, and he softened his voice a bit.
"Am I talking to my boyfriend or my little?" he asked, waiting for an answer before continuing. Patton lifted his head, looking up at him.
"...little?" he was hesitant, hoping that Logan wouldn't mind that. "I-is that okay? I can stay big if you want me to-" Patton wasn't completely regressed yet, but he was close to it. Whether or not he'd let himself depended on if Logan was up to playing the caregiver role.
"Of course it's okay," Logan gave him a soft and reassuring smile before continuing. "I just wanted to know if you were little or not. How small are you feeling today, sweetheart?" Logan sat up, forcing Patton to do the same. Logan should've expected this, Patton regressed easily, and he went to bed happy and excited. Positive triggers like positive emotions can make Patton slip sometimes.
"I don't knowww," he whined, pouting.
"Am I gonna have to deal with a fussy little one today?" Logan teased, raising his eyebrow. Patton sat up completely, looking down and blushing a bit.
"Sorry," he apologized for whining. Depending on how little he was, he would whine and get upset over anything, though he was usually a fairly happy baby. Kinda similar to how Virgil got fussy sometimes.
"It's alright. How about we go to your room and get you ready for the day?" Logan offered, Patton nodding a bit. He was in pajamas, but he still would like a onesie. Logan was able to climb out of bed now that Patton had move off of him. He reach over to his bedside table, handing Patton his glasses and putting on his own.
"Come on, baby," Logan instructed, touching his feet to the ground and standing up completely. Patton came and sat on the edge of the bed, making grabby hands to be picked up. "Darling, I just woke up. Could you walk for now?" Patton pouted, "I'll hold your hand instead." Logan offered.
Patton settled, Logan helping him off the bed. Today was gonna be a fun day.
--
Patton sat on his light blue playmat, covered in a white star pattern. He wore a white onesie, his kitten pacifier sitting in his mouth. He wore a slightly visible white diaper under the clasps at the crotch of his onesie. As usual, he regressed younger once Logan started babying him and getting him into little clothes.
A stuffed bear sat on the mat near him, and he was currently playing with baby blocks. He stacked them up in little towers, until he hit something and it came crashing down. When that happened, he'd whine slightly and pout around the pacifier before starting over. Logan sat in front of where he was facing, helping him stack the blocks as high as he could.
He reminded him that it was okay every time the blocks fell, and would help him start over. "Papa, helppp!" Patton whined, harshly throwing the baby block in his hand down on mat in frustration. The other blocks came tumbling down onto his lap, and he retracted his legs so that they were pulled up to his chest.
"Baby, no throwing things, remember? It's on your rule list." Logan scolded a bit, gather the blocks from around the boys legs. Once he had collected them and moved them to the side, Patton returned to a criss-cross-applesauce position. Patton pouted a bit.
Patton huffed, ignoring his statement and starting again. He was so set on stacking every single lock he owned into a single tower. Now, Logan could admit that the boy was creative. He had started making pyramids, forming bases with some blocks before deciding that they didn't count as a 'tower' and that they weren't tall enough. But Logan didn't think it was good for him to be so focused on one thing, and get frustrated when it didn't work.
"No, no, no!" he shouted around the pacifier, it sounding more like an angry babble. Angry tears came to his eyes as he huffed and crossed his arms. He kicked his feet out, somehow hitting Logan's knee.
"No shouting or kicking, please take a breath." Logan commanded, taking his hands in his. He pulled them away and continued his frustrated tantrum. He was glad that everyone was gone currently. Roman had left earlier that morning to go hang out with Remus, and Virgil went to the dark side tower with Janus. So Patton wouldn't be as embarrassed later for his sudden outburst.
Logan internally panicked, not knowing what to do. He did the same thing whenever he had to look over Virgil or Roman, and they misbehaved. He was a good caregiver, for a perfectly well-behaved baby.
"Darling, calm down a bit. Take a deep breath-" Logan tried his best to speak in a soft, guiding voice that wouldn't upset him more. He was interrupted by a baby block hitting hit square in the forehead, his eyes coming to focus on a still-angry baby with crossed arms.
"Patton, I told you not to throw things already..." Logan hesitated, knowing the given punishment that the others would've given to their littles if they acted like this. He didn't know what was wrong, but he did know that he'd have a hard time doing this. "Go sit in the timeout chair, immediately." He spoke in a harsh voice that would've definitely make Patton cry usually, regretting it right after.
Logan was able to pinpoint when the realization that he was in trouble, that he did something wrong, that Papa was upset with him had hit him. Logan stood up, reaching down for his hand. Patton felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, and he wanted to burst into tears already. He took his hand, and allowed his caregiver to lead him over to the small white beanbag in the corner. It faced the wall, and it was placed there so that the littles didn't have to go to their rooms each time they got in trouble when they were in other parts of the house.
The only exception to this was Virgil. He was anxious, and he didn't get put in timeout anyways. But if it did get to that point, he'd hate to be punished in front of anyone else, so Roman would take him back to his room. Logan softly lifted him up, setting him down.
"Take deep, deep breaths until I tell you timeout is over, okay?" Logan spoke softly, leaning down next to the baby's ear. "It's gonna be okay," he promised, kissing the side of his face before backing away. Patton hadn't replied, and he focused his eyes on the wall around him. Logan knew those words of reassurance weren't gonna go far, considering that fact that he had still put him in timeout. In the mind of a little, that probably showed that he was still upset and such.
He sat on the couch, watch Patton's back intently. It was only a few minutes before Patton busted into tears once again, and Logan gave in instantly. "Shh, shh, shh. You're okay, Papa's here," he lifted him up from behind,turning him around so that he was properly holding him. He hugged him tightly, the boy's state of sobbing not changing in the slightest. Logan rushed over to the couch, sitting down so that Patton was sitting on his lap.
"I'm sorry that I put you in the corner so quickly, there must've been another way to deal with this. You're just a baby, of course you're gonna throw fits sometimes. I'm so,so, so sorry sweetheart," Logan was rambling on and on, apologizing and hugging the boy.
"Papa isn't mad?" Patton interrupted him eventually, speaking in a wobbly and shaky voice, still sniffling a bit. That broke Logan's heart. How could he be mad at his baby?
"No! I just didn't know how to deal with you not listening to me and I jumped to doing what the other sides would, but you're different and I'm different and I'm just-" Logan seemed to be panicking about his mistake, but he stopped himself from spiraling. He did something wrong, and now he'd deal with the situation if this ever were to happen again. He took a moment before speaking,focusing back in on the point.
"I'm not mad, baby. But can I know why you got so upset about the block tower?" he asked softly, brushing a bit of Patton's hair out of his face.
Patton whined,very small and not capable of forming full sentences. He had already been reaching out of his usual headspace just to speak any words at all. He tried his best, though,talking in a very babyish tone. "I wan do it right! Can't do things well when I'm like dis and I don't like it..." his voice seemed to get a bit bigger near the end of his statement. He spat his pacifier out and it hung from his paci clip.
He didn't move out of Logan's lap, but Logan could tell he had pulled himself out of headspace in favor of talking to him for a bit. "I um, was kinda set on doing something harder by myself. Because when I'm little I'm not good at doing things by myself most of the time and I depend on you a lot, when I'm supposed to be the 'dad' the helps everyone else." he explained in pure vulnerability. Logan still had no idea how Patton pulled himself out of his headspace, he was surely unhealthily repressing it, but he'd leave it for the time being.
"Patton, how long have you been stressing about this?"Logan questioned firmly, looking at him. Patton scrambled out of his lap, feeling uncomfortable and sitting next to him instead.
"Um, a while, I guess. That whole thing was my childish attempt at being independent, and it didn't work so I got frustrated with myself and threw a fit. I'm sorry..." Patton seemed embarrassed, and guilty. It felt weird seeing Patton expressing these traits, because it felt almost uncharacteristic for him. Logan knew that those traits didn't exclusively belong to Virgil and Roman, but it surely felt more usual coming from them.
"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. Or feel guilty because I punished you," Logan promised. Patton gave a little unsure nod, Logan continuing. "And the whole point of your regression is to let go of those responsibilities. You don't have to be independent, and you don't have to try and do things yourself. You're just a baby sometimes, and babies aren't expected to be able to do everything independently, right?" Logan raised his eyebrow,giving the boy a knowing look.
Patton sheepishly shook his head, uncomfortably shifting in his onesie and diaper. That either meant that he felt big and didn't like being dressed like a toddler, or the baby clothes were making him wanna be small again. From how he was acting, Logan figured it was the later.
"And neither are you. Stacking all those blocks that high seems like a simple, babyish task, but there is so many that the balance of the tower is knocked off my the time you get halfway done. Also, you can't stand well, so once the tower reached a certain height, it's pretty much impossible for you to add to it. You're also clumsy so you knocked it down multiple times as well," Logan explained a couple reasons why Patton was unsuccessful with his tower idea, causing the boy to pout a bit. "You were asking yourself to do something impossibly hard for someone who is mentally less than one year old. It's no shock that you weren't able to do it well, sweetheart."
"I guess I didn't think that through, huh?" Patton laugh at himself, looking kinda disappointed.
"Aw, baby. You're fine, I promise you." Logan spoke in a reassuring way before he kept speaking, "Now, next time you get frustrated like that, I want you to take deep breaths and then talk to me about what's wrong, alright? You're allowed to be upset, but throwing things and kicking people is not the correct response to that." Logan lightly scolded him, Patton obediently nodding.
"Okay, Papa! Gonna be better, promise!" he cuddled into his side, silently asking for comfort as he quickly regressed and fell into headspace. Logan softly kissed his forehead before replying,
"You're already perfect, sweetheart." Patton blushed at that, sliding his pacifier into his mouth. Logan used his power to turn on Mickey Mouse on the tv in front of them, summing Patton's stuffed bear and hand-held rattle from the play mat.
Patton spent the next hour or so babbling along to the Mickey Mouse characters, bouncing when he was excited, and shaking the blue rattle. His giggles always followed the rattle noises, and he seemed pretty content with the situation.
Of course, he eventually fell asleep cuddled up to his Papa. Some things never changed, like their dynamic. How much Logan cared for Patton, little or big. How grateful Patton was for everything his boyfriend did for him. How much the sides saw each other as family, as support.
But other things did.
And what they didn't know, is that a lot would change soon.
Very, very soon.
--
A/N: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE: A) don’t hate me for not posting much, I’m having agere-specific writers block and I’m trying my best, and B) send your reactions to this in my inbox, I love seeing them! It can be the most random thing, a thought that popped in your head at a specific line, WHATEVER! Seeing positive reactions to my work encourages me to write, so please help a girl out. Okay, hope y’all enjoyed this!
