#lilacs-world

[lilacs-world]

If anyone ever tells me again that I'm not concentrating hard enough or I'm not focusing hard enough on doing my tasks or work or whatever, here watch this. No brain is the same and our ADHD brain looks different when focusing/concentrating!!!

©chalenejohnson on tiktok

Chalene Johnson

Linktree. Make your link do more.

[custom-emojis]

Howdy ☺️

I love your blog a lot :3 my little uses lots of emotes from you to communicate with on discord in a server with my bf where we have the tupperbox bot as well and it's so much fun and helpful.

We are the Mango System used to be Kaleidoscope System but we decided that Mango sounds better.

Random question, my brain is fried so I am not 100% sure how stuff works I read your carrd and everything but do you have by chance any otter emotes? Like two otters kissing and holding hands? Supernova my little has a huge hyperfixiation over otters and even gets an otter soon because of it 😂

I hope this didn't come of rudely or something I'm just a very confused and lost person atm and my adhd doesn't makes it better 👉🏻👈🏻.

We wish you a good day/night! We appreciate your hard work a lot!

uhh we don’t, but yer free to request some. I have no idea what yer talkin ‘bout with our Carrd though. We aint got a Carrd yet? Like, not for this blog at least. So that’s some uh. Lovely mornin paranoia I guess. We’re glad ya like our stuff though -Raz

[lilacs-world]

I hate how Tumblr is getting popular again bcs Elon Musk bought Twitter. This was OUR Hellsite. Now the people who made fun of us are coming to OUR Hellsite.

[lilacs-world]

Is it just me or is everything bigger on tumblr today on fools day??? I’m not sure if everything was that huge before or if they changed the sizes subtly to be just enough to question oneself and not know for sure….

[lilacs-world]

I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

[lilacs-world]

S͇͇ͣp͇͚͇҈͇҈͇i͇̻͇c͇͇͋y͇̘͇ ͇͇ͪA͇̟͇d͇͇̂h͇͇͠҈͇͔͇d͇͇ͮt͇͇ͫi͇͇͜s͇͇̿m͇͓͇

Ȋ̵̊͏̕ ̻̣̃ͧc̟̮̊͠͝ạ̷̵̬ͨ̽̾ͅň͉̙̎̊ ̢̻̙̅͟͡h̴̸̸͜e̵͓͎ͫ͢aͫ̃́r̡͙͜͜͝ ̸͟͠aͪͧ̅̀͝ţ̰̭̰̌͜o͔̲̝̹͒͏̶͠m̸̶̶͎̙̟͍̓ͪ̈͠s

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Stack flavors make new Pringles

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絕不會放棄你 永遠不會讓你失望 永遠不會跑來跑去拋棄你 永遠不會讓你哭泣 永遠不會說再見 永遠不會說謊傷害你 絕不會放棄你 永遠不會讓你失望 永遠不會跑來跑去拋棄你 永遠不會讓你哭泣 永遠不會說再見 永遠不會說謊傷害你 絕不會放棄你

[lilacs-world]

An amount of People: CLIMATE CHANGE IS NOT REAL

Me: Are u dumb? Explain this to me then? Why do we have 29°C (84.2F) at the end of October when last week there were fucking 0 to 3° C (32-37.4F) ???? At a friend there were 32°C (89.6F) outside even 😭

[lilacs-world]

That moment when you are dissociating and silently multiplying like mitosis due to something traumatizing