{Chapter 4- Discussions and Punishments}//Soft,Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)
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Logan did not see the point in this. He did not wanna suffer through this conversation with his caregiver, but Patton said that it should happen. When Logan and Virgil revealed their headspaces back to back, Patton and Roman both had questions. And now that Patton has gotten to see Logan in his headspace a few times, he had a few more.
So that's what this was, an opportunity for Patton to ask Logan questions and hopefully get honest responses. "I know, I know. You don't wanna do this, but I have so much that I'm curious about! I feel like there's certain things I should know if I'm gonna keep being your caregiver."
Logan sat in his chair, spun around so that he was facing his bed, where Patton sat. Patton figured he'd be more comfortable in his room without the other two there. "okay, get on with it." Logan instructed. Patton sighed, starting off with a simple one.
"What's the entirety of your headspace range?" he questioned. Logan thought for a moment.
"I don't ever seem to younger then three, and the oldest I've ever felt without being completely big is around sixteen." he admitted. He shifted in his seat, a little uncomfortable. He still wasn't quite used to talking about his headspace like it was a normal thing. Being able to just casually talk about things like his headspace range and his little gear preferences, it was weird.
"Thirteen years? Wow." Patton seemed shocked when he thought of it that way. "Okay, next..." he paused, "is there anything I can do to be a part of your regression while you're a teenager without overstepping or making you uncomfortable?" he seemed nervous, but he genuinely wanted to know.
"Oh! Um..." Logan paused now, thinking. "I don't know. Just kinda what you did last time I regressed to those ages, check on me and stuff. What you did last time was actually pretty perfect." he shyly smiled at Patton, who excitedly beamed.
"Really? Awe!" Logan coughed, snapping Patton out of his excitement to keep going with the questions. "Okay, overall, is there anything I could do better while you're little?"
"Maybe use the term 'regressed' when asking about it, or talking about that in general. I kind of associate 'little' with by kidspace and anything below that. So when talking about my teenspace..." Logan trailed off.
"Use the term regressed instead! Got it. Anything that'll make you more comfortable, kiddo." Patton nodded. "Hmm...is there anything else I could do better?" he asked. "Or something you'd like me to start doing?"
"Maybe...." Logan paused, feeling as if his thought was stupid. He continued anyways though. "Maybe we could start doing punishments and rewards. Not when I'm a teenager, but when I'm a kid and stuff." He didn't make direct mention of his younger headspace, but Patton brushed it off and continued talking after a moment.
"We could make a sticker chart for little Logan! Whenever you behave well, you can add stickers to the chart! We can make a system and everything." he said, Logan nodding. "But punishments? What would we even do?"
"I mean, most kids get timeouts and stuff. I don't know. I don't really misbehave though, so we don't have to worry about that." Logan now regretted bringing that up. Patton seemed skeptical immediately.
"Okay, fine." he sighed, "for now, we won't worry about punishments. But the moment you start being bratty while regressed, we are sitting down to have this conversation again." he playfully threatened. Logan gave an understanding nod, and they kept talking.
Questions and questions came from Patton, and Logan did his best to reply honestly. Patton felt as though open discussions were needed for this to work, and though Logan didn't like the awkward conversations and such, he agreed.
But what he said, about him behaving while regressed wasn't always true. And Patton was going to discover that really soon.
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"Daddy, don wanna." Logan whined, fiercely shaking his head.
"Baby, you have to get dressed! You can't stay in pajamas all day," he paused, trying to find a way to convince him. "Your PJ's are so adult, but you're a baby, aren't you?"
"No!" Logan kicking his feet up. He still sat on his bed, his arms crossed as he absolutely refused to get ready.
"But darling," the nickname made Logan blush, but he still held his grumpy face. "You'll look so cute in your space onesie, don't you want your space onesie?" Patton pulled the piece of clothing from his lap, holding it up for him.
"If you want, you can wear just the onesie! Or you can wear overalls with it! How does that sound, baby?" Patton asked. There wasn't necessarily anything wrong with Logan staying in his pajamas, but he knew Big Logan would've wanted Patton to have him change. Logan hates staying in the same clothes for too long, no one really knows why.
Logan made grabby hands for the onesie, bouncing up and down. Patton didn't actually expect that to work, so he looked confused. "Space!" Logan giggled, kicking his feet again,except this time it was in a happy way. Patton had successfully diverted his attention.
"Yes baby, space. You know quite a bit about that, don't you?" he asked, reaching out for his hand to help him up. Logan started speaking, mindlessly taking his hand and standing up.
"Mhm! I know lots and lots about da stars, it's..it's weally weally cool!" his voice seemed to get even tinier when Patton tapped the side of his arm as a signal to lift them. He did so, and Patton pulled his shirt over his head with a chuckle.
"Yeah? Why don't you tell me something cool about the stars, Little Scholar?"
Whatever that slight brattiness that overcame Logan when he first got up was gone for the time being, washed away by Patton's adorable attempts at distracting him and making him slip younger.
"All done, baby boy!" he cheered once Logan was fully decked out in his cute little space onesie, animated spaceships and stars covering his figure. Logan giggled. "Now...do you want a pacifier today?"
He shook his head quickly. "Okay, well if you do want one, just let me know and we'll come pick one out, okay?" Logan nodded now. He hesitated, rethinking his decision.
"um..can I has one?" he mumbled shyly. Patton never understood the indecisiveness that Logan had sometimes, but he didn't complain. He only chuckled again, before turning around and locating the black chest on top of Logan's dresser. He had been working with him on not hiding away his little gear as if he was ashamed of it. So the pacifier chest currently sat on top of the dresser, not in the bottom drawer.
"Which one, sweetheart?" he asked. Logan took one of the modified baby pacifiers, which was dark blue with a spaceship on the button. It was a originally a toddler MAM pacifier, but the nipple was switched out for an adult one.
"Look at you, all cute and adorable." Patton cooed as he slipped the pacifier into his mouth. Logan smiled adorably behind it. Logan walked up to the mirror on the back of his door, looking at himself. He wore the onesie, and that's it. He whined, because he didn't want to wear overalls, but he also felt uncomfortable in just the onesie.
It was cute, and he didn't mind Patton seeing him like this, but he didn't want to walk around the house. "Whats wrong, baby?" Patton questioned. Logan silently pulled at the onesie, in a downwards motion. "You want some pants? We can find some overalls-"
"No, no, don wanna!" he said. Patton's eyebrows creased in confusion.
It took them a bit to work it out, but he settled on white shortalls. All was well in the house, Logan was adorable, and Patton was getting ready to make breakfast. This day was sure to go great.
What could go wrong?
--
So much. So much could go wrong.
"No, no, no!" Logan shouted in his babyish voice, "Don wanna."
"Calm down, baby. Please," Patton instructed. Logan shook his head. Virgil and Roman watched in silence. Logan was partially fussy due to the fact that Virgil wasn't little, so he was the tiniest side in the house, which made him feel vulnerable and frustrated. And also, Patton was trying to make him clean his toys up.
"Come here." Patton instructed, in a slightly strict but soft tone. Logan shook his head, remaining in his spot on the floor, a plastic toy space ship in his hands. When he was little, Logan often ignored small things that big him would totally freak out about. For example, cleaning up after himself.
Usually, though, Patton would remind him and he'd do it with little complaints. But today, for some reason, he absolutely refused. "Baby." he called in a more serious voice, trying to convince him to get off of the ground.
"No."
Is it bad that Virgil and Roman were just a little amused by this? Patton looked absolutely tripped up on what to do, and just shocked. But he covered it up with a serious face as if he had any idea what he was doing or how to react.
"Logan." He finally said, in a much harsher voice that he immediately felt bad for using. Logan dropped his toy, whimpering very quietly. Virgil could practically feel the babyish anxiety radiating from him. Logan got up slowly and shuffled over to stand in front of Patton, looking down and biting on his lip.
He didn't have any of his stuffed animals or his pacifier (he'd left them where he had been playing). "I'm sorry if I scared you, or anything. But you weren't listening before and I didn't know what else to do." Patton apologized. Logan nodded slowly, only glancing up at him a bit.
"Now, why don't you want to clean up your toys?" he asked.
"I don't wanna!" Logan whined, shifting on his feet.
"I know that you don't want to, but why?" he questioned once again.
"Don't wanna!" he simply shouted, stomping his foot on the ground with a huff. He crossed his arms.
Patton knew this is where he should punish him, but they didn't discuss punishments. So he said the first thing that came to mind. "Go sit in the kitchen. You're in timeout." he ordered, Logan seemingly shocked.
"No,no,no,no." he wasn't shouting, or directly defying him. Instead, he was muttering to himself, closing in on himself and looking ready to burst into tears. "No!" he shouted quickly, before running off and around the couch. Patton didn't even process what was going on until he was all the way at the bottom of the stairs.
Roman and Virgil still didn't give any input, not quite knowing what to say. What they would've suggested, Patton already tried to do. Softly talk him through what's going on, try to find out why he's acting this way. And resort to timeout if needed.
"Logan!" Patton called, turning on the couch so that he was looking at him. He slipped on the stairs and stumbled a bit. He paused, pouting with a quivering lip. He took a deep breath before grabbing onto the railing and continuing to quickly pace up the stairs. "You're going to hurt yourself, sweetheart." he tried again, but Logan ignored him, and within seconds, his door shut behind him.
Patton sighed, going to stand up. "Maybe you should give him a second?" Roman suggested. Patton nodded,
"Not to long though." he confirmed. He knew he was crying, and that he was probably scared that Patton was mad at him. He'd give him a second to calm down, and then go comfort him himself.
"Hey, you dealt with that well. He didn't react well, but you're doing a good job." Virgil smiled at him, and Patton smiled back weakly. He was oh to worried about his baby boy.
"It's also gonna be okay. I think he's just emotional about something unrelated and he's just acting out a bit. And also fussy about being the littlest one. Everything's gonna be okay." Roman reassured. They were both using reassuring words that actually helped a bit. Telling him that he wasn't a bad caregiver, and that everything would be okay. It calmed him a bit before he headed up the stairs.
Patton tried opening the door, but pulled his hand back when he realized it was locked. "Baby boy, can you please open the door for Daddy?" he called out.
"Why?" he heard a wavering baby voice come from inside the room, Logan had most likely been crying, as Patton predicted.
"Because I want to talk to you, Logan." Patton spoke softly, tapping his foot a bit while he listened for a reply.
"Go 'way." he could barely make out his voice and sniffles due to how quiet he was.
"I don't want to go away, darling. I promise that I just want to help you, okay? I'm not mad at you, if that's what your worried about." He could hear Logan slowly approaching the door, and suddenly he could hear his voice much more clearly.
"weally? Not mad?" he asked in a heartbreaking voice.
"Of course I'm not mad! I'm sorry I snapped at you, and gave you a timeout. But punishment doesn't mean that I'm angry with you, little one." he spoke in a promising voice. He heard Logan unlock the door and back away. Patton quickly swung the door open and shut it behind him, finding the boy with his knees to his chest in his office chair.
He was sucking on his thumb, and still looked nervous. Patton came closer to him slowly, and Logan dropped his legs, adjusting them so that they were hanging normally off of the chair. "Okay, do you wanna explain what happened down there?" Patton crouched in front of the chair so that he met Logan's eye level.
Logan still found a way to avoid looking at his face, though. "Why were you so against cleaning up, hmm?" Logan gave a light shrug, but eventually started speaking. He pulled his thumb out of his mouth before doing so.
"Just didn't want to. To small...and sad." he mumbled the last line.
"Sad? Oh, baby, why are you sad?" Patton's face dropped and he looked at him with even more concern in his face then before.
"Feel bad." he whined, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.
"About refusing to clean, or something else?" Patton asked. Logan was weirdly emotional today, and now that he thought about it, it was possible he was upset about something since that morning, like Roman had suggested.
"Smallest one here, an-and m' a baby and you has to take care of me. Feel bad." he repeated himself, inching his thumb back towards his mouth. Patton took a second to process before he spoke in a really soft, but direct tone.
"You never have to feel bad because I'm taking care of you. I know that you don't like being the smallest side in the house, or feeling like a baby, but you don't have to act out because of it. I can handle a three year old, you don't have to be sad." he spoke with the hope that Logan would understand him. He reached forward and pulled his hand away from his mouth.
"m' sorry," he apologized.
"For what, sweetheart?" Patton asked softly.
"Not being good. Don't like getting in trouble." he sniffled lightly.
"You're not in trouble anymore. This doesn't mean you'll get out of timeout any other time you act out, but today's the exception, okay?" Logan softly nodded, and Patton leaned forward to kiss his forehead.
Logan looked down and swung his feet a bit. "Thank you, daddy." he mumbled.
"Now, lets head downstairs and pick up those toys, hmm? Then we can take a nap and move on from all this. How does that sound?" he offered, Logan nodding and letting Patton take his hand.
Logan didn't want to talk about punishments, but Patton was right about the fact that they probably should. Especially now that he knew that Logan wasn't always the most well behaved, even if it was emotion based brattiness.
So, now Logan knew that the dreaded conversation had to happen.
But like everything else, he knew that it'd turn out fine.
It always did.
