#limitless.txt

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i totally understand being frustrated by writing because it’s like. hard as fuck. and sometimes motivation and creativity and time and mental health just don’t match up at the right time. but like. kind of done with seeing posts about how much writers hate writing. you shouldn’t hate writing if you’re a writer. if you hate writing at all times just. stop writing. holy shit. as authors, we can’t normalize hating writing. people who do it and actually hate it will think it’s normal and that’s. not okay 

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guys. guys i’m so fucked. i didn’t realize that the topic i chose for my “qualitative interview questions” assignment for my research class last week was something i was going to have to work on consistently. holy fuck. i chose starbucks’ tomato & mozzarella paninis as a joke. and now i have to do a bibliography for sources on them. and next week i have to write a thesis statement. holy fucking christ. please don’t tell me i have to write an essay on a tomato & mozzarella panini. fuck 

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—TEO’S 400 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION 

ahh, hello, everyone !! it’s so insane to me that i’m already out here at 400 followers ! it means the world to me that you all enjoy my blog + writing and i honestly can’t thank you enough for the support you give me. 

i’m so glad you guys have stuck around through my ever-changing hyperfixations [i know i’ve helped convince at least one of you to get into ace attorney] ! it means a ton. 

also want to explicitly say thank you to @linariouswrites, @nangua, @noteaboy, @whorizcn, @countably, @atelierwriting, and EVERYONE in both the of colour. server and my personal/writing server for tolerating me and my constant screaming about the most random shit. you all are such lovely people and i’m so, so grateful to have met you. 

as a little thank you for getting me to this lovely milestone, i’m having a [hopefully] fun follower celebration + event ! 

—THE EVENT 

i’ve put my own little twist on blogrates [that’s more than probably been done before, but oh well] ! 

to honor my love of fruit, you can send me an ask containing any of the following emojis [off anon] to participate ! 

🍊— i’ll make an original character based off your blog ! 

🥭— i’ll write you the basic plot to a novel to you based off your blog ! 

🍈— i’ll tell you some things i like about you/your blog/your writing [depending on how well we know each other] ! 

you can send me one, two, or all three of them, but the more you add, the longer you’ll probably have to wait [rip to school emotionally, mentally, and intellectually draining me]. 

—THANKS !! 

once again, thank you all so much for supporting me + giving me the wonderful opportunity to share my work ! if you ever want to make friends, just message me !! i love talking to new people. i love you all so much and i’m so excited to keep sharing ! 

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entry three / august 26th, 2020

general tag list (ask to be +/-): @sunandshinee @writingamongthecoloredroses @ettawritesnstudies @just-perhaps @abalonetea @magic-is-something-we-create @monstrouswrites @antisocialdragonenby @etddivine @lordfenric @medusawrites @adaparkwrites @grewsolow @sautrns @albatris @19bottlesofdishsoap @cadewrites @sprigofbasil @aghostwritesforme @violetcancerian @apollosvotive @linariouswrites @mshelleys @solicitous-lyo @nothingisliteral @sondials @sirfitzroys @tobeatragedy @thellamapope @bloody-hugs  @nangua @guulabjamuns 

transcript below cut:

8/26/20 i sat side by side with my great grandmother, peeling a tangerine for her, talking about my life to what felt like nothing but i knew was something. she barely remembered me anymore. i wondered if she did at all. as i shoved my finger into the top of what would be her fourth tangerine of the day, i felt her hand on mine and i looked up. she was smiling, and i leaned closer, and she spoke in quivering words.

todo es fluido.

i heard it again the next time i saw her, on the day of her death, the only time i’ve seen my mother cry.

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is my keysmash not good enough for you, google docs 

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i feel like i can never find something i want to write. i choose to write something poetic + sweet + emotional, and then i get bored and i want to write a dystopia, and then i want to write something mysterious + filled with death + suspense, and then i want to write something fun + fantasy + filled with magic and i just. can’t ever figure out what i want from a story. and i always end up bored with it; once i’ve done all the hard work, of course. 

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hey everyone. i am here to tell you that it’s been five months and we still have very little clue of what i have. i’ve been nauseous anytime i’m not laying down and dizzy anytime i’m standing up. it’s most likely vestibular neuritis, but that diagnosis is very very much a guess. there’s a ton of other frustrating and upsetting facts, but when it comes down to it— we haven’t found meds that work, i have 8 hours a day of trying to force my brain to function, and i’m constantly exhausted, drained, and in pain. so i highly doubt i’ll be writing anything for a while. at least until i can figure something out with my teachers, we figure out what the fuck’s wrong with me, or we just find meds that miraculously work. 

this blog’s already a lot of random reblogs, but i was starting to feel some of that awesome Imposter Syndrome— from not only not sharing my writing, but not writing at all. i’ll probably keep talking about my wips out of context, but i felt the need to tell you all why i haven’t been/won’t be sharing my writing [or writing at all]. so yeah. please don’t reblog this. 

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i’ve started the third season of hannibal and i literally have no fucking clue what’s happening