Hi! i just wanted to say i feel u. i struggle with perfectionism and academic anxiety (is that a thing? lol now it is) too. it's really frustrating when I'm like "Oh god i'm freaking out i'm so tired and anxious but i won't settle for less than perfect bc i need to be perfect" and the other person is like "well u get As so obvs it kinda works for u to be a perfectionist stop bragging" and im like "u even heard what i said?" so yeah i just wanted u to know people are stupid & that u r not alone!!
First of all perfectionism and academic anxiety are 100000% a thing *waves hand and points to self* Anyway thank you for the message!! It’s definitely an ongoing struggle and conflict to try to figure out what a healthy level of perfectionism/competitiveness/anxiety is, and how much you are capable of BOTH emotionally and academically. It’s a difficult balance that many people don’t understand. They see your grades and assume you must just have/get it really easy, which in most cases (particularly as you get to higher level education) is totally incorrect. Thanks for the support bae <3
You're not a terrible studyblr! You are a kind sweet caring person who loves learning new things and that's the point of studyblr. We all love you just how you are 💕
and i can assure you, i love you all very much too!! 💞 thanks for such a kind message, have a lovely day 🌟
Whats your opinion on cheating on a test? A friend of mine is always cheating and never gets caught and I'm unsure if I should talk to her about it or just mind my own business. But I don't think it's fair that she gets good grades without working...
Sorry this got long as per use, but I have a lot of thoughts!
Ugh, I know this is a tough situation. If I was in your shoes, I would take some factors into consideration. Obviously calling her out would in all likelihood cause some friction in your relationship as she may get defensive, so as much as I would like to be the morality police, I know you’ll have to think it through carefully.
First of all, what kind of student is she in general? If she’s a straight A student naturally (she does her homework, gets good grades on her essays, etc.) then as bad as it is to cheat, I wouldn’t necessarily make it a Big Deal (even if it is) given that she obviously does put some amount of work into everything but tests (and doing all the assignments does count towards studying, even if it’s not flashcards and reviewing etc.). If she’s more of a C student and is acing all her tests due to cheating, to be honest it will raise any intelligent teacher’s suspicions. It’s pretty obvious what a student is up to when they don’t do well on homework but suddenly get A’s on tests without even studying or experiencing a gradual improvement.
Secondly, what are her reasons for cheating? Is she simply lazy, or does testing anxiety get in the way? She could be like me - I get good grades on everything but when it comes to tests, my testing anxiety is so severe that I tend to blank completely, rendering my studying useless (this has improved by leaps and bounds over the years, but some of it lingers). If you think she’s like me and gets good grades but is cheating to compensate for anxiety around tests, I would bring it up to her. Encourage her to seek support within or outside of school and talk to her teachers if this is what’s going on. Accommodations such as a separate setting, extended time, and a familiar proctor can be arranged for people with intense anxiety (those are the ones that I had in high school). If she’s lazy, then I’d be less inclined to be understanding and kind about it and she may be more likely to be defensive about it.
Thirdly, to what extent is she cheating? Is she obtaining answer keys (which is extremely serious cheating)? Or is she copying someone else’s tests? Is she programming formulas into her calculator to remember them (I know lots of people who do this) or secretly looking at her notes in some form as pointers for questions? If you think the form of cheating is milder - such as putting formulas in her calculator or even glancing at flashcards - then you may not want to run the risk of starting something with her. However, you could bring it up from a place of reassurance (especially if she has testing anxiety) and give her tips. For example, tell her that you know she doesn’t really need to cheat and suggest that she write formulas or notes down on the first page of the test before she forgets them (that’s what I did to cope with my testing anxiety) rather than relying on her notes or calculator.
If she’s looking at answer keys, that’s a more serious offense. Again, if she’s not a good student the teacher will probably be suspicious of her getting sudden straight A’s on her tests, and I don’t think you need to get involved.
Lastly, how did you find out? Did she tell you that she’s cheating, or did you catch her in the act? Does she know that you know? If she’s telling you, then it seems more reasonable to bring it up than if you discovered it, because if she doesn’t realize you know and then you comment on it, she may feel like you somehow breached trust or something to that effect - even though you haven’t. Does anybody else know about it? If they do, confer with them as well.
I hope that helped! Sorry it got so long, but best of luck :)
