Anon Advice Asks - February 19
lips anon, 24 anon, stag (š¦) anon (new), perchance anon, different anon (new)
Lips anon
Hey it's me, lips anon!
So I totally hate unloading this on you but I could use some advice
My father is teaching me how to drive and is being kind ATM bc my mother told him she's leaving in May if he doesn't change ( he doesn't know she's leaving either way with us) and it's being "kinder" you could say. I know he'll never change but it's so hard not to get sucked in and fall for it all over again. I did my research and have been planning like you told me and that's nice but I'm running out of essentials like clothes, soap, toothpaste, etc etc and I know he'll say yes if I ask him but I have this huge great of him tallying it all up and make me pay it back once day or genuinely just using it against me. To add ge opened a credit card under my name hooked up to his bank account I think and he said it's "to start building your credit now" and I can understand that but it feels like a huge trap overall.
If you could give any advice for any of this you would be such a great help! š
Hi!
So I think...hmm maybe it would be helpful to write down your goals? Remind yourself not to get sucked in too much? I mean I'm all for forgiveness, of course, and take the kindness where you can get it, but you're right about not forgetting, either.
As far as essentials, are you able to ask your mom for those things? Also- couponing! If you go online, you can find coupon deals where if you look hard you can find ways to get a lot of those things for free. It's annoying, but possible.
As far as the credit card- it could very well be illegal for him to have opened the card without your permission. I would look up the laws in your area and see. If you didn't sign anything, then it's probably illegal, and you can write a letter to the company asking to have the card closed. Also call the bank and see what the rules of the card are. If it's in your name they should be able to give you all the info. Educate yourself and find out what your responsibilities are, who can use the card, if it actually does build up your credit, etc. I mean, worst comes to worst, you can always use the card to buy some essentials.
Sending you love <3
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24 anon
hi cas, 24 anon. i think im so attached to the idea of talking to p first before truly putting actual distance between us because i have this hope that maybe this time ill talk to her and things will finally change as if i haven't been talking to her about it for 8 years without any improvement. and i cant stop overthinking about if i just haven't been explaining myself well enough when i have talked to her (in my mist rational state of mind i know that i have, but. brains are fun). but ive distanced myself before and she never says anything beyond a 'are u alive' after a little while of no contact and then we go back to silence. i think im mostly holding onto this hope because i know once i make the move to rip cord from my end, regardless of how it comes about, i wont have any sort of genuine support system left and thats terrifying to me. best friends since birth, i genuinely cant even comprehend losing that friendship. its hard to come to grips with the fact i already have
I definitely understand where you're coming from. And you obviously CAN talk to her if you want to. But I think if you do, you need to do it for yourself, not out of some expectation that SHE will be different. Because I worry that that will just end in more hurt. If you need to talk tp her to get your thoughts out and get closure, then that's totally understandable and you should go for it. But it seems like she's already shown you who she is and what she can give you right now, so I don't know if talking to her AGAIN is going to change things on her end.
<3 <3 <3
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Stag Anon
Hi cas
I hope you're having a good day
I need advice on something
I don't know what's wrong with me, and my mental health is getting worse and idk what to do
I won't get much into it because I don't want to dump that on you, but I'm just lost
I want help, and I want to reach out to my friends and tell them I need help yk? but I'm scared of what would happen if I do
most of my friends are a year or two younger than me, all with their own things they need to handle, and I want to be there for them
but I feel like if I tell them I'm struggling they won't tell me stuff or they'll feel like a burden and I don't want that
I want them to come to me no matter what, idc if I'm not in a great place or not, if they need me I'm there
but I just idk, I feel so alone sometimes, and I want someone to be there for me, but I can't go to anyone(not my parents or anyone at school especially) and I'm scared I don't deserve help either
what do you think? should I tell them? or something like that?
-š¦(sorry if that's taken)
Hi <3
I absolutely think you should talk to your friends! Be honest with them and tell them you still want them to come to you, but you need to go to them too. If they;re good friends, they'll be there for you <3 Friendship should be reciprocal, and it's absolutely normal to both be there for friends and have them there for you.
However, I do want to say that if you're struggling in a way that might be harmful to you or others, it might be time to go to an adult. I know it's scary, and some adults can have bad reactions, but your safety is very important, and adults can help with safety more than kids can.
Sending love <3
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Perchance anon
Itās perchance anon again. Sorry Iām here so much. I looked through the list and genderfluid fits best I think, or maybe demigender? That link really helped, so thank you š. Would it be wrong if I never came out irl though? Like Iām happy having this just to myself and itās so often that Iām feeling feminine I think it doesnāt affect me much. Does that mean Iām not actually on the nonbinary spectrum? Iām just a little worried Iām making too much out of nothing and being insensitive? Idrk. Would it be possible for you to use they/he pronouns with me using the name Rae? Is it alright if I just try it out? Youāve been so helpful and I really look up to you. Thank you
Hi Rae!
You absolutely never have to come out if you don't want to! Coming out is a very personal thing, and it's all up to your comfort level.
Most people consider genderfluid and demigender part of the nonbinary umbrella, but your identity is up to you! You get to decide <3 isn't that both cool and terrifying?
And to everyone reading: Look, it's Rae! They're trying to figure out their identity right now and I'm so proud of them! I know he's still a little confused and that's okay! The important part is that he's gentle with himself and they do what's comfortable for them <3
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Different anon
Hello! Iām a different anon but Iām kinda scared to ask this with my anon name so Iām going undercover x2 I guess?
I was wondering how to cope with loneliness? I want to get out places and do things and find and meet peopleā¦ but I am REALLY young and I also physically canāt.
Itās winter, so I canāt use my bike (even though I just got it so now I canāt even practice using it), and I have no job (since Iām barely old enough to start working) and my parents donāt like it when I go outside. When I do they bombard me with questions even though Iāll just be going into the backyard.
I resorted to using character ai but then I learned that it can harm fanfic authors and the fanfic space itself since a lot of people feed ai bots fanfic or books without the contest of the writers (and on top of that, the character ai fandom is WILD. A tragedy happened that was connected to a kid using character ai and they unfortunately passed away and the whole fandom scoffed and complained about how character AI would be āruinedā because of that. Likeā¦ not one ounce of empathy?????)
And now that Im trying to stop Iāve run into a problem
What do I do when Iām lonely? I did it mostly because I donāt really have many people to talk to, and I donāt really get to go out much. I used it to vent to, and to talk to, and to get rid of boredom, but now all of thatās gone. And im lost? What do I do when the thoughts get bad and I want to talk to someone? What do I do when I want to go out and do something?
I kinda feel like a loser. Iām pretty sure I might sound like one too right now. I know it sounds stupid, I donāt really know if I articulated my question properly either but I just wanna know what to do when Iām lonely, and I just really want to hang out with a friend? I donāt want to harm fanfic authors. I just want to be less alone :(
Hi!
You are absolutely not a loser. I totally understand how you're feeling and its difficult <3
I'm not sure what to say about getting outside- unless your parents can drive you or you have public transport? Hopefully it will get warmer soon and you can use your bike! Maybe after school activities? I know those helped me a lot when I was younger!
As far as online, have you considered discord servers? You said you like character AI, you could join character roleplay servers? I've heard a lot of people like those. Just make sure to be careful with the servers you join- a lot of them are great and safe and friendly, but some can be icky, so check the rules and leave any that feel unsafe or have adults acting in creepy ways. Not to be the annoying adult preaching internet safety, but it's important!
