My cat gets bitter when I leave her for more than a day. Even though she has two fresh litter boxes she will pee at the front door if I’m away for a few nights (even if I have someone she knows clean her litter everyday I’m away). With Christmas coming up I’d love to visit family for a few days but I don’t want to have someone else have to clean her spiteful mess. Any advice?
First, aside from you absolutely needing to take your cat to the vet for litter box avoidance, here’s my full write up on litter box issues:
https://happyhealthycats.tumblr.com/post/171063322095/lets-talk-about-the-litter-box
Second, cats cannot feel spiteful, or bitter. This form of anthropomorphism is dangerous. Cats are incapable of developing anterior motives. Yes, even if you’re sure it’s done ONLY to spite you. There is absolutely a reason why your cat is doing that, and it’s never “because they’re bitter about you leaving”. Things like separation anxiety are real issues that may need veterinary assistance, or other behavioral modification to help.
Cats can often learn if they’re scolded while a person is present to still perform the action that they’re being scolded for, but to make sure they do it while no one is there. So if a cat scratches at the rug, and someone’s response is to yell at the cat until it stops, the cat isn’t going to stop scratching, the cat is going to stop scratching while the person is present.
Here’s a write up I did a while ago about the “perks and pitfalls” of anthropomorphism. It’s very possible that viewing your cat as spiteful may lead to other signs of distress or issues being ignored, and that’s the last thing we want.
https://happyhealthycats.tumblr.com/post/170873645120/the-perks-and-pitfalls-of-feline-anthropomorphism
So basically, your cat is not doing this because they’re upset with you. They’re doing it for what could be a huge list of reasons, the top of that list should be “possible elimination pain or discomfort”, and you need to make sure that’s sorted out with a vet before delving any deeper. If a veterinarian can confirm that there’s no physical issues, discuss the possibilities of separation anxiety, along with my write up on litter box uses.
But seriously, give the anthropomorphism blog a read. Identifying human emotions and reactions in cats can lead humans to ignoring warning signs that cats are typically very cautious about giving, but it can seriously hurt your relationship with said cat, which is always the last thing I want.And hey, I understand if your wording was done in such a way because of writing style or fitting words into an ask, but I always want to err on the side of caution.
