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I can't believe the eras tour is over. I really want to thank everyone for listening to the audios I made for this tour, I never imagined so many people would care about my little passion project to collect all the live versions of the surprise songs. This has been an amazing journey to go on with all of you <3 <3 <3
via / download
Did you go to the eras tour? Please Reblog! 🩷
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a (better and updated) recording of "us" at the eras tour!!!
"18 months ago I was scared of my audio console, last week I mixed an orchestra"
I texted this to an old friend and remembered when I was in Boise, about 1 year on E and spiraling over my future, I had a bad show. but it wasn't any different than other bad shows, it wasn't even my worst one. for whatever reason, it paralyzed me.
all of the sudden my audio console scared me; frequency identification, volume perception, and mic positioning were suddenly completely foreign and unknowable to me. I would hear feedback and freeze. there were several days where sitting behind a console would make me cry.
for six weeks I was relegated to back up duty, filling in for video, babysitting, working general projects and completely terrified of mixing audio. it shouldn't be surprising that this coincided with the election ramping up, my dysphoria worsening, and other general issues as well. I was terrified that I would lose the only marketable skill I had and have to go back to bad retail.
I wish I could say there was some trick, but getting over it took time and some dedicated practice. we left Boise six months later and things got better. I guess I needed to remind myself that things have already gotten better and they will keep getting better.
18 months ago I was scared of my console and last week I mixed an orchestra for the first time.
Look what you made me do, behind the scenes, reputation magazine
NO FUTURE LIVE AT PELAGO: MOMENTS FROM THE SHOW + FULL SET AUDIO RECORDING
