#live fig... die...

[thefigs]

give me a dept q season two or I am going to fucking kill myself

[thefigs]

how to write a cover letter

Use a pen that will bleed,

write “please hire me or I’ll kill myself”,

cry on the page to smudge the ink,

then spritz it with your perfume (so they will know you are delicious)

[thefigs]

op turned off reblogs but I need this here as a reminder to my self

[thefigs]

bitch who’s not fine: im fine, im fine

[thefigs]

fig decree

all meetings will be taken out back and shot

[thefigs]

fig tip

join a monastic order that takes strict vows of silence in order to avoid awkward small talk or accidentally offending your coworkers when you are sleep deprived from a long night of prayer and holy vigil

[thefigs]

wheeeee my taser #mytaser

[thefigs]

fig tip

you too can take NyQuil if you want to lose 11 hours of your life in an unconscious fog and wake up feeling worse than you did before you took the NyQuil