#lm does dbt

[agentemo]

sitting on a mossy rock beside my DBT river

watching all my thoughts float by on giant leaves

there's a thought of evil you, and one of evil me

on these leaves the size of Manhattan Island, holding the same amount of weight in rainbow tar

I'm shivering because my skin is dry but my bathing suit isn't, and our floating mountains create a dark shade over me as their colors bleed together

I watch them float by, mindfully (an extra leaf beside it now, because I think they're ugly)

a slivver of sun rewards me once they've passed (my skin will remember the wonderful heat)

when another giant leaf enters my periphery

[agentemo]

I radically accept myself

millions of decisions have led to what I'm feeling right now. I take responsibility for the decisions that were mine, and radically accept the ones that were not.

this feeling is temporary. I tend to overreact. that's okay. I have rich emotional experiences. I may feel despair harder but I also feel love and joy harder.

I'm gonna be fine.

[agentemo]

starts to write an angry post remembers dbt and Hayley Williams finds skill I'm working on today

connecting to my higher power? fuck man. that's the opposite of what I wanna do but let's fucking go.

my higher power is love. shut up listen. the only thing that fucking matters is other people.

I love humanity. I believe most people, save for a few exceptions, really do have good intentions. I want to help and love people and be helped and loved. if this is a scam, it's a scam from someone that needs to feed themself. fine. they have a right to life even if they're an asshole and I deserve not to lose my shit because of an asshole.

I believe in humanity. I had so much hope last night, after watching the 33. we'll come together. I'll be okay.

[agentemo]

“Close your eyes and refocus on your emotion. Imagine a sound it might make-”

my brain, without missing a beat: SCREAMING

[agentemo]

as part of my dbt practice, I've decided to be artsy

I'm not very visually creative but it's nice and calming to do my paint by stickers and a lil doodle after spending some time being mindful

peak self care... it's what I deserve

[agentemo]

i’ve been practicing dbt on and off for years now but especially recently and it really is changing my thought patterns it’s so fucking weird and cool and awesome like i’ll feel myself thinking something bad and a second, wiser voice will come in like

“no... you are wrong and actually-”

and then i convince myself to feel better, usually through radical acceptance and like... trying to be logical instead of emotional

it doesn’t happen as often as i wish, and it doesn’t always work, but it’s something and it’s amazing