Allow me to regale to you the story of the
Loaner Van From Hell™️
My car had to go in for repairs, so I was given this gold-hued van that was beyond flawed to use while I waited.
It smelled horrible inside
It had a crack in the windshield at the perfect height to blind a passenger
The front two tires were really, really bad
It smelled horrible inside
I tried to use the windshield wipers after driving through a sprinkler's spray and the rubber flew off
The headlight distance was pitiful
It smelled horrible inside
The pedals were misaligned initially and even after adjusting them, they didn't quite reach the right positions
This van would occasionally open the left door automatically inexplicably
It smelled horrible inside
Somehow, if you turned it off and locked it, it could somehow turn itself back on, and when I asked the mechanic about this upon getting my car back, he said it shouldn't even be POSSIBLE
The plates are expired. I got the van loaned to me in late June. The plates expired in February.
It smelled horrible inside
The stars aligned to give me the most comically bad vehicle ever to drive for three weeks.