#lollierot

[bighugsandhighfives]

Tonight's one of those nights...

I could just use some Greys Anatomy, 2 Whopper Jrs. , and my best friend.

[bighugsandhighfives]

Looks like I'm not getting laid tonight.

[bighugsandhighfives]

I Hate it

Me: oh my fucking god im so over this fucking song. I cant Google or tag anything "I love..." without "I love it" coming up first.

Girlfriend: I dont care.

Me: (crashes car into a bridge)

[bighugsandhighfives]

While on the phone with my girlfriend.

Girlfriend: the goldfish has the longest poop I gotta go bye. (hangs up)

Me:

[bighugsandhighfives]

Girlfriend: You smell like farts and maple syrup I didn't sign up for this!

Me: *pulls out contract signed in blood*

[bighugsandhighfives]

Girlfriend: Dinner was good babe!

Me: Take my plate to the sink?

Girlfriend: Sure. (bends down takes plate and gives kisses)

Me: Thanks pizza! Shit fuck...

Girlfriend: did you just call me tumblr user pizza!!!

Me: no! no! We just ate pizza and....

Girlfriend: (walks away)

[bighugsandhighfives]

Dreams making me look craycray.

I jumped up from a dead sleep and lauren was like "whoa are you okay" and I was scrambling for my phone for light to look at my legs and I was like "oh thank fucking god...my legs don't have legs" put my phone down and fell back to sleep.