Girl Crush
It’s late so no one will see this. You guessed it: based on Harry Styles’ Girl Crush.
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Link held onto the idea that he was bisexual as long as possible. Maybe it was because of his upbringing. Maybe it was because of Rhett’s interest in girls. Expectations, social pressures, internalized homophobia, you name it. The day Rhett tells him he thinks this new girl he’s dating is going to be serious, Link actually starts to believe in his labeling himself bisexual. At first you’d think it’s because this information forced him to stop crushing on Rhett. That’s not it, he came to terms with his ongoing crush on Rhett a long time ago. It’s actually because he feels jealous. He wants the girl Rhett has. And as horrible as that sounds, it comes as a relief to Link. He’s attracted to girls and guys and somehow that makes it easier.
He truly has nothing against being gay, he secretly wishes he was and under any other circumstances, he would analyze that wish more deeply, but in the world he lives in, it’s just so much easier to have an attraction to women and to roll with that.
A month or so into somewhat comfortably third wheeling, cracks begin to appear in Link’s reasoning. Maybe it was the hundredth time Rhett leaned over to whisper in her ear. Maybe it was the tenth time Link caught a whiff of her perfume in their dorm. Maybe it was the thousandth time he saw Rhett move to touch her in some way just to have contact. Instead of wishing it was his own hands or lips on her, he finds himself wanting Rhett’s hands and lips on him. He wants Rhett’s sheets stained with his scent so Rhett can’t fall asleep at night without thinking of him.
If he’d analysed his feelings sooner, he wouldn’t be having a second panic over his sexuality. The box he locked up his crush on Rhett in has burst open and refuses to be shut back. He had the jealousy backwards and now that it’s been realized, there’s no reversing it again. He goes out on a couple of dates, managing to rally his usual charm, but it feels insincere and hollow. When he goes to jerk off in the nights afterwards, it’s not those girls he’s thinking of, it’s Rhett. He wants Rhett to laugh at his jokes and hold his hand and for Rhett to think of him first when he’s told he can bring a plus one somewhere.
It rips him to shreds every minute of every day as he silently watches Rhett and his girlfriend get closer as his and Rhett’s time together wanes. He doesn’t try to go on any more dates. He no longer calls himself bisexual.
