In The Feels
I’m so emotional lately. And just to be frank, I think I’m just a sex appointment. No, scratch that.. I think I WAS a sex appointment. Now I’m getting closer and closer to being nothing. And who even knows how long I’ve been nothing. .
Two more days and it’ll be an official month. Lol... I say lol, but really I’m crying. Literal tears. Truly sad right now. Not because it’s been a month, but because it’s been a very long few months in this year that has been even longer.
I’m so stressed right now that I can’t even think. I took a pregnancy test earlier this week. Halloween to be exact, and it was negative. Which was a huge relief for me. Which also kind of makes me sad. I literally thought you were like truly interested. And yet, after you said “I love you,” you lost interest. I know I didn’t say it back, but I truly was crazy about you.
But I have no regrets. Not over that at least. I know you wanted to hear it, and I actually wanted to say it, but I didn’t want us to be the couple who said it too early. Because if you really feel that way about someone then why can’t you wait to say it? You can. You can wait if you love someone. You can take things slowly and if you do truly love them then you don’t just lose the feeling if they don’t say it right back.
I want someone in my life so badly. Just a best friend at the very least. I just want to be loved. LOVED. Like truly loved and cared for, even with us just being friends. That would be great. And yes, I mean a man. Someone I can talk to all of the time. Confide in. Someone who can also confide in me.
Don’t get me wrong; I have friends, but I want ONE great friend. Someone who makes me feel safe. .
Is that so much to ask for?