#loner deer

[captainhancock727]

Loner Deer - All we need [OFFICIAL LYRIC VIDEO]

[captainhancock727]

Loner Deer - Now I'm Blind [Official Lyric Video]

[captainhancock727]

Loner Deer - I Hold You [Official Music Video]

[shallowbreaths]

She was an artist like my mother. She was good, and I loved talking to them both about art. I’m NOT an artist! But I have learned life changing concepts from art. Such as, artists rely on shading in order to make things look real. They don’t call it shading though, it’s referred to as “value”. I had long hated my darkness, but through them I learned it’s what made me real. It’s what defined my curves and contours.

Our last conversation was rough. She was hurt and I was wrong. It’s hard communicating in a loving tone when you’re hurt, but she managed because that’s who she is. It’s hard to listen when you know you are the villain of the tale. To know that you’re just one more in a line of people that have used, hurt, and disappointed her. The guilt and shame of it… that’s a private pain that no one less than God would truly understand. That brings me to “perspective”. I thought I saw things clearly, and perhaps I did, but I was standing in a place I didn’t belong and I was focused on things I shouldn’t have been focused on. Everything else began to blur as I tried to make my bad choices seem like good ones.

That conversation was painful. It’s stuck with me, and now I look back on what I did and I shake my head and wonder what was wrong with me! I actually know now. I get it, and I’m not saying I wasn’t dead wrong because I was, but at least now I get it. Over time people get into habits and ruts and we develop narratives and beliefs, and the next thing you know, the relationship that was once great is now damaged or even broken. It happens to every relationship that isn’t diligently working on the relationship regularly. You start to feel unappreciated, or unloved, sometimes even hated or useless. Look at the sheer number of marriages that end in divorce, or the ones that don’t end but probably should have.

I was focused on the entirely wrong things. My perspective seemed to slip a couple of degrees regularly until one day I realized I was looking the entirely wrong direction. If I had ever, just once, put myself in their position and imagined what I was doing from their perspective then I suppose I never would have been able to do it without seeing I was a bad guy. This way I was able to think I was learning and growing and getting better even as I did the opposite. I have an entirely different “emotional perspective” now. My world is different. Once again in large part to her. She has saved me yet again. I have learned volumes from her and now that my perspective is different so are my memories. They’ve taken on new tones.

I’m so grateful for her. I’m grateful that she was there when literally no one was. I’m grateful that she was so comfortable in speaking her mind and her willingness to put me in check. I’m grateful that she went to a lot of trouble to redefine the word “love” for me, because I see it now and it’s the most beautiful thing ever. I’m grateful that she spoke her mind before leaving. I’m grateful that she didn’t try to hurt me back because I would have opened my veins had she requested it that night. I’m just grateful for how she irrevocably changed me for the better. I hope she’s happy. I hope my idiocy passed from her like a fading dream and that she’s perfectly herself.

This song is wonderful. This really is what I’d want to say to her mostly. I wouldn’t want to defend myself. Not that she’d want anything to do with me, but this is what I’d want her to know if she asked. Then she should know that I’m eternally grateful to her and for her. She is the greatest of masterpieces, and like all great art, I am different for having experienced her.

[sinful-roxy]

Winter is coming and I've no light Winter is coming, and I'm gonna face the hard weather And I said to myself that I'm gonna win this fight Winter is coming, and it won't spare me

[nsrine]

Watch "Loner Deer - Home [OFFICIAL LYRIC VIDEO]" on YouTube

Made me reach my darkest thoughts and feeling in just a few minutes

[sinful-roxy]

[sinful-roxy]