#long month

[allthesepurplelights]

[zenaidamacrouras1]

When people ask how I am doing today I will try not to say "I feel like I am dragging my own rotting corpse behind me but I might make it to winter break before I collapse" and instead say, "hanging in there!"

[wickedwonderlandd]

This month got me like

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

a few reminders ❤

hi, i love you ❤

AIMZ I LOVE YOU - i needed this, it’s been...a long day

[time-to-spleen]

Okay I know today is “March 1st” but really its January 61st.

[aquarianlights]

Man oh man oh MAN is this month busy as FUCK.

I'm slowly trying to crawl to the finish line....... wish me luck because I feel like I'm not gonna make it. 😭😭😭😩

But here. Have some cute selfies and cute Echo pics of encouragement for your viewing pleasure.

Allow me to add a bonus blep:

[hartenas-den]

My condition.

Okay so I’m a bit sleepless right now so I thought I might as well update you all on what’s been going on with me for the last month:

So, it all started with one day, normal as any other when I notice this immense pressure in my chest, making it real hard for me to breathe and my heart goes racing, making me think I was having a panic attack and I instantly got myself to the ER where I got checked.

They concluded that my heart was fine but the muscle between my shoulder blades was essentially locked so I got myself a real nice and expensive massage to undo that.

I tried to stay calm after my massive panic attack but two days after my massage so was I still having a massively hard time breathing and I ate a burger which I was to regret as it was really, really bad.

The doctors had another look at me and it turned out that my chest was under such strain that I needed to do stretches to fix it, but I’m also suffering from IBS since years ago, making that bad burger a real nasty experience for me with me ending up incredibly gastric and intense bowel pains until it was out of my system, which was also a super draining process! I was given some pills to help me calm it down but they made my lips go numb and swell so I stopped using them pretty quick.

At the same time so was I getting colder and colder with each passing day, I couldn’t eat a meal without freezing real good after, eventually hitting a point where I was shuddering extremely hard for probably 30 hours or so and the stress of it all was making my chest burn and bowels twist.

So I was in a state where I was almost certain I was dying, I had NO energy, I couldn’t bring myself to eat (did my best, don’t worry) I had a hard time breathing with chest pains, my chest was burning and I was freezing more than what I’ve ever done before and I’m used to -40 degrees! I couldn’t even sleep willingly as I really felt like my body was grasping at what little energy I had left so if I shut my eyes I didn’t know if I’d wake up.

But I tried my best to stay healthy, tried to force meals into me and I was taking daily walks.

It was finally concluded by a doctor that my thyroids had essentially burned themselves out so I’m currently taking medication for it and I’m not freezing anymore, with the exception of in the mornings as I take my meds once every morning.

Somewhere in the middle of this so did I also have wax clog up my ear so bad that I needed medical assistance to get it out and I’m battling a cold that’s trying to sneak up on me.

But as I was recovering so did my right leg start to feel real weird and uncomfortable, combined with my back which had an inflammation going throughout my entire neck and down past my shoulder blades, I visited a physical therapist who gave me a couple of stretches to do and told me to keep on walking once a day, just not overdo anything.

I start hurting around every joint in my legs, it feels cold (which got a bit better along with my thyroids) no matter what I do in the day, if I just sit down or if I excercise, didn’t matter and as I was taking daily walks so did I get another inflammation in my left leg from just walking around the block, thankfully so does that seem to be fine now!

But starting last week so did I feel how one of my spinal cords started to poke out and feel extremely defined, it felt like someone had jammed a rock into my spine, which was not pleasant but I could put up with it! What I couldn’t put up with though is that my legs started to feel like they had a constant electrical surge going through them, causing immense discomfort as it also occasionally spread to more sensitive areas which would be so bothered by it!

This thankfully subsided after a few days but I can’t lay down without feeling a sharp tingling feeling through my legs (mainly the right one) and my back.

They say that my spine is probably the cause for my great discomfort in my legs and I’ll get it looked at in the days to come, hoping that’s the case and that they can send me on the right path to fix it as I’m actually starting to feel better but with an immense pressure in my right leg as well as the itching feeling every time I lay down does make me worry at times and can disturb my sleep.

Throughout it all so have I had MASSIVE troubles with sleep, eating, trying to not panic or think of death and other ever so lovely things.

I’m writing this from my bed after struggling to fall asleep for 2 hours with that immense pressure in my leg only to awaken two hours later with an arm that refuses to lift itself, which it thankfully did eventually.

Here’s hoping I get better soon and that I can get back to drawing art for you guys, I’m so very tired..!

[pandoraheartsz]

hwa woa May has felt... Long