Quiet me - Gialinn calming Giralein down when Mordremoth tries to take over
Aesthetic, angst and healing, three of my favourite things! Thank you.Cw: blood, vomit, and overall horrid stuff. But then there is fluff. And a pic of Gialinn under the read more <3
They will remember you…
The poisoned whispered sounded sweetly against the static background of his own mind. Blood pooled under his nose and in his knuckles, the temptation of fratricide heavy as tar below his tongue.
They will see you…
The bitter taste of jealousy and vomit ran through the back of his throat, as air became fire in his lungs. His teeth raked as his anger bloomed in his guts, churning and turning and b u r n i n g everything in its wake.
They will obey you…
His nerves did not registered the pain of Canach’s fist crashing against his stomach, nor the searing feeling of fire leaving his mouth. He realized it was not the blue flame of his name, but a molten bile of fangs and murder, it was his own blood boiling and reeking of envy, of anger, of pure hatred.
Three knights and a crown of thorns. Two corpses and a guardian, alone. Riannoc will be reborn from the splinters and the agony of the waste of space who dares to push you to my absolute embrace. Trahearne will be saved, his body redone with the torn flesh of the she-leopard who stole everything from him. Three knights blessed with my zealous purpose.
“All steel breaks, but mine is the living will of the Corpse Grove“ his whispers taunted and tainted with the jarring echo of the dragon’s will “Servitude would be blissful freedom“. More blows came, cuts and bruises into his bark, the hidden fear in the eyes of his Secondborn brother giving him life, pushing his mind to the maw of Mordremoth. If only he could rip his heart out for the glory of the dragon, it would be a small sacrifice for the glory of vengeance.
Come to me, my General…
His eyes started to blur and darkness. But the last blow didn’t came, for time stood still around him. Everything was quiet but him. He was dazed, reeling, about to break…
Until he was banished, trapped in his own mind. Where no blood nor anger not hatred. Touched by the endless will of the dragon, but not yet corrupted. The sensations of his body felt foreign, as if his own fire was kept away from him by virtue of wind and ice, time and love and light.
Love and light.
He coughed, but it was his body, not him, the one who was falling into the spiral that led to the Heart of Thorns. He saw all around him the signals of his Mother’s love, for he was in the Dream of Dreams, laying in the fragrant soil of dawngleam pergola. Though he still tasted his own blood, there was a blessed silence, as if he was alone in his own mind. But he wasn’t.
“Dearheart, light of my life…“ another whisper, softer and kinder than any other, shimmered across the wind, a soothing breeze in the fragile dreamspace. Light and love took shape; a red rose blushing with fear and hope, blooming in a garden they have both made within the Dream. He knew her sweet scent and the warmth of her touch, but voice was held by the cruel claws of the dragon, only to come out as morbid bloodspittle.
“Fire of my heart…“
Tears like crystal fell down the cheeks of his beloved Gialinn, his dusk rose, she of fire and love and kindness. She who was the whisper of Pale Mother’s heart, loving and beloved, who held him together when dragon and time took away what they had loved once. Even in the dream her embrace was soft and sweet, her sadness echoing across his heart, stronger than any other voice.
“You are Giralein, the light of my days, born under the full moon of midnight sky. You do not belong to the dragon, and you do not need his power to be a knight.. for you already are one“ Her words gathered all the splintered pieces of his mind, mending it as if broken glass made anew. The air in his lungs became light again, and he trembled in both dream and reality, as seizures of dragon’s magic tried to fracture him once and for all.
“But what if Canach…“ he choked with his own voice “…is right. If I am a lie. I couldn’t save irene. I couldn’t stop Sinéad. And now… I cannot stop myself“ Shadows closed over the pergola, but his beloved held him close, bravery shielding her from the presence of the dragon.
“Fear not this night, dearheart, you will not go astray, though shadows fall still the stars find their way“ Her smile, her love, pure and endless and forever strong, flowed from her lips into his soul, reminding him of who he was, of who they were. The wind around them bringing memories of those countless moments where they had held strong, together.
And the blessed silence of the dream, Giralein felt something stronger than his creator’s will. The love he held for his beloved, the warmth he shared with his friends, the countless whispers of other dreamers who loved him, who believed in him. And below all of that, the shining will of his Mother, the murmur of Riannoc’s memory, and the certainty that he could fall, but as long as he kept close to Gialinn, no dragon could reach him.
He opened his eyes, and welcomed the light of Tarir and the pain of his wounds. As in the dream, his love held him tight, crying and whispering the words of their mother. Warm and kind, strong and delicate as life itself. Giralein wiped her tears, smearing her face with his blood, sealing with a kiss and a sullen voice the truth that would save him from the dragon.
ain’t nobody gotta read this i just wanna put it out somewhere cus I ain’t got anyone I can talk to who I wanna burden with it
ftt is about to hit 1k
i can’t tell you how tempting it’d be to just delete it when it does. idk. maybe I’m just having a bad day (... well, a worse than usual day), maybe I’m overthinking, but like. ... this probably sounds like a dumb thing to complain about, but I don’t like the rep of a giveaway blog. I do enough giveaways that I can’t escape it even if I wanted to but
I’m having a hard time writing exactly how I feel but like.
before I got involved in wt I had maybe 50 followers on that blog? before I did that first gts giveaway, I had like... probably less than 300.
I do more than giveaways... I try to be funny, I try to be helpful, I...
how many of those 700 people who have followed me since honestly give a fuck about anything else I post? I know some do, but there’s likely a huge group who only put up with me because they want what I’m giving away.
and the number keeps growing.
I’m just a damn giveaway blog. Not that I don’t want to be known for doing giveaway blogs, and that does basically make me a giveaway blog, but it does kinda hurt to see how many people follow me during a giveaway that unfollow me soon afterwards. Did they see that I post other things? Would they stick around if all I did was giveaway? Do people actually enjoy what I do, or are they telling me I’m funny out of pity? If I stopped doing giveaways for good tomorrow, how many would still follow me?
are people legitimately interested when I tell a story, or are they only laughing because I’m randomly countering frustrating things with what amounts to noodle incident humor? When I try to say something funny, are people liking it because they actually think I’m funny, or because they’re pitying me to inflate my ego?
it doesn’t help that I’m afraid of people finding this blog. there are many people who I legitimately want to befriend, but tumblr scares me so bad... I actually talked with Panda for what, six months before we finally followed each other’s personal blogs? What if I try to talk to someone, and they find out I’m a “sick furry” (well, that one’s out of the bag on FTT I’m sure, but), or what if the opinions I have cause them to hate me? I know what hate does on tumblr. The xkg was a good example, he didn’t even voice any opinions and spent time and money helping people and this site chased him off. So what if someone looked at my blog and goes, “oh, he doesn’t agree with the tumblr norms, he’s not even worth knowing!” and attacks both this and ftt? and bullies me away?
I have to fear even the small group of people who I know actually enjoy what I do.
which is why when like six of you followed me I made that big post.
I don’t want people knowing this blog, because I’m scared of that one who will fuck with me. And the fact I have to choose to forfeit proper friendships for safety on this toxic website is disheartening too. the small handful of people I know who actually enjoy what I do, I can’t even bring myself to try to talk to them out of fear.
god I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I do want to be known for the giveaways I do, but i don’t want to be known for only that...
I’ll probably hit 1k followers on FTT before I go to bed tonight, but if isn’t there tomorrow you all know what happened - and please don’t tell anyone where they can find me.
