Jaheira swayed as she stepped closer to Iago, her eyes wide with drunken disbelief, her hands firmly gripping their shoulders. She leaned in, her face a mix of bafflement and sheer incredulity, as if she were trying to decipher the meaning of the universe itself — or at least the latest cosmic joke it had played on her.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me,” she began, her voice rising with every syllable, “you have a twin? A twin?!” She shook them lightly, as if trying to rattle sense into both of them — or herself. “So, let me get this straight. Not content with spreading his bloody seed across the realms, not content with the chaos of Bhaalspawn running amok, this time Bhaal decided to — what? — make it double?!”
Her laughter started low, almost a growl, before it erupted into a full-throated, unhinged cackle. She let go of Iago’s shoulders, only to stagger back a step and throw her arms wide in a gesture of mock reverence. “Twins! Oh, divine one, you’ve outdone yourself this time!”
She turned back to Iago, her expression a mix of amusement and exasperation. “And here I thought my life couldn’t get any more complicated. But no, no! This time I have a matching set! Do you both come with blades, or is one of you the talky type?”
Jaheira wiped a tear from her eye, still chuckling, before fixing them with a half-serious glare. “If I wake up tomorrow and find out you’ve got triplets lurking somewhere, I’m going to throw myself off the nearest cliff. Mark my words.”
Iago scrunches up their shoulders when she grabs them and leans back with an unhappy whine as she leans forward like a clumsy, awkward dance between the two inebriated companions.
"Yes, twins, yes," they start, exasperated, having had this conversation a million times since the truth came to light.
But it doesn't quite seem like appearances are Jaheira's biggest issue here. Iago is surprised more people don't jump to this concern. It's almost a nice change to the surface-level 'twins? you're kidding, right?' looks of disbelief between the pathetic, magical waif and the 6'5 dogboy who couldn't look less alike. Almost a nice change. Mostly, it makes them want to bang their head against a tree.
"I've been wondering what the reasoning was my whole life," Iago grumbles as she shakes them. "He must've gotten quite bored. Can you keep it down?"
Her subsequent laughter and flourishing make Iago want to bury their head in the ground, so they bury themselves in their drink instead, throwing back the rest of it.
"No, I don't like using blades, that's Puck's thing. Words, I guess... But it's not even like that, it's not as if he was trying to double his kill count with another spawn."
Part of Iago is begging themselves to have a little tact, but Jaheira doesn't seem too inclined for a sugar-coated conversation and Iago is one or two glasses past trying, "Yes, there's the occasional bout of bloodlust and those irritating little voices in my head, but it's manageable. My role... Well, it's more like... I'm... Hm."
They squint, trying to think through a tipsy haze of a more eloquent way to explain that- "I'm Puck's personal slaughter lamb."
Well. That's one way to put it.
They quickly scramble to continue, "I mean- We aren't supposed to make some deadly duo. I was supposed to be killed by him-" They gesture over their shoulder with a roll of their eyes, "Ages ago. It's probably supposed to be symbolic or something, fate and killing the one you love most and all that, blah, blah, blah... But clearly, it's been a dud of an experiment so far since, well-" Now it's Iago's turn to gesture their arms in a rare show of the morbid pride they feel in their survival against all odds. Still kicking! They stumble a little on their feet as they do, a wobbly grin flashing across their flushed face- "Hah hah."
The display passes quickly, and they shrink again at her last threat, scoffing, "Gods, no. Just the two. That's more than enough, not that it should be any of your concern. If you think this is getting complicated for you, imagine actually being one half of this mess."
