Pairing: Austin Butler's "Enemies" charter (called "Blue") x FemOC
One Shot: Kit met Blue years ago on shift as a nurse. Now the elusive strangers calls whenever he pleases. And the relationship as grown from simple nursemaid to something much more intense. And much more dangerous for Kit. (I love playing with the "monster's favorite" trope idea) WORDS: 9950
Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ Mentions of wounds, brief medical care, fingering, oral fem rec, PinV, choking, clear signs of psychopathy or similar mental issue, toxic relationship dynamic, mentions of something akin to kidnapping in the past.
It wasn't actually the sound of something falling over and crashing against the wood floor in the living room that woke her up. Kit had been lying in her worn out full-sized bed for hours already. Both hands tucked under one cheek as she blinked from time to time, moisturizing her eyelids watching the shadows on the wall move further and further south. Tracking the movement of the moon over her shoulder through the permanently closed single window in her moderately sized bedroom.
She'd just been about to give up on sleep and get out of bed taking a walk around the neighborhood to clear her head when she heard the sound. For a second she was afraid, this area of London wasn't the safest so a break-in was first on her rapidly forming mental list of possibilities. But when it was followed by absolute and complete silence the realization of who was standing in her living room made her blood run cold, then boiling.
Strong legs swung over the side of the bed, planting themselves firmly on the ground as she lifted two arms over a head covered in loosely tied brown hair. With a grunt she wrapped a robe over slender arms tying it in the front. Soft silk fell against a curvy silhouette. She'd been a ballet dancer until an injury at nineteen, then looking for something that would be equally challenging she went into nursing.
Kit pushed open her bedroom door the sound of her feet gently padding off of the old creaking hardwood floors of her apartment was the only noise. As she turned her head and looked around the corner she was temporarily lost in the memory of the first time she'd met him.
It was 5 years ago after she'd just started her residency program at a hospital in downtown London. She was an American by birth. But dance had brought her to Europe at 15 and she hadn't made any effort to go home since. During a particularly hectic ER rotation she bailed out a back door. Trying to hide around the corner in the rain dampened alley so that she could quickly puff down a cigarette.
The sound of someone huffing on the ground near the dumpsters caught her attention. When she peeked around she'd been met by a handsome stranger with golden blonde hair. A pair of stunning bright blue eyes looked up at her as he held a cut bleeding intensely on his abdomen. After a few attempts to get him to come inside she finally caved, getting on her knees in front of him to inspect the wound there in the rain.
Once she had figured out that it wasn't deathly she'd gone inside and come back out as soon as she could. Supplies tucked under her arm. The Stranger had given her two wads of money out of a bag set on the ground next to his hips. $10,000 USD had made her next few months much less stressful. When he showed up at her apartment the next time saying he'd memorized her nametag while she stitched his abdomen, she couldn't make herself send him away.
In the last five years she'd seen him more than a few times. At one point he started showing up with injuries severe enough that she kept a small stockpile of emergency room grade equipment under the sink in her master bathroom.
Kit could never admit it to herself but it was her strange relationship with her visitor, Blue she called him, that gave her life some excitement. Blue was short for Blue Eyes which had been his first title. Upon his 4th arrival she told him she needed to know who she was helping. When he replied,
"It's better for both of us if you don't know. Safer for you."
The look in his eyes promised her he wasn't lying. Over time she'd learned some things. He was 34, he'd grown up on the west coast in the US. Part of why he'd been so drawn to her was the familiar accent all the way in London. He didn't live here, but he had several homes and one was in the English Countryside.
She was almost positive his natural hair color was blonde but she'd seen him with many variations between brunette, black and stunning bleached blonde. He shifted between a few different body types, but always had broad masculine shoulders and a waist that was just the right size to wrap her legs around. That fact she'd learned after a couple years of visits.
"Blue?"
Her already raspy tone was extra scratchy from lack of sleep after three twelve hour shifts and a continuous pattern of tossing and turning each night. Kit pressed the pad of one of her palms against her eyes. Rubbing it gently as she stood in the middle of the living room. A long slick tongue brushing through thick lips as she stared at what her constant visitor left smashed for her to find. A vase holding flowers she's been sent by a gentleman she'd gone out with for an awkward sushi date the week previous.
The card was carefully lying on the floor open. "Hope I get more than a good night's kiss next time. Xoxo C."
A hand on either hip she turned looking for the small black garbage can and her main living space that never seemed to be in the same spot twice. Without an acknowledgment to the fact that he was obviously somewhere standing and watching she picked it up and started carefully scooping the smaller pieces of the vase together with larger ones and dropping them in the bin.
"You'll cut yourself Mouse."
Kit was shy enough that sometimes it was damaging. Blue had started calling her Mouse after needing to repeatedly tell her to speak up during their first encounter.
"Well, you're not known for cleaning up your messes Blue."
A low rumble indicated his distaste for her sass. She felt one arm wrap around her waist as a gloved hand cupped her throat from behind. Sucking in a deep breath and holding it while she turned to see him for the first time in the dark. Immediately she wilted. Eyes going soft while her brow knit together.
"I am meticulous with the messes I leave little Mouse. You're the only loose end in my life."
Even in the leanest of terms she was hardly a loose end. Sure she could describe his face but she had no idea what color his hair would be from one visit to the next. She could approximate his height but she couldn't tell him what his weight might be. And more than that she didn't think she could turn him over if she wanted to, not after this long.
"What happened?"
With a delicate touch she lifted one hand turning his face and being greeted by a series of injuries circling one ear and moving down the side of his neck. Squinting and leaning in closer she realized in the darkness what it was as he spoke.
"Dodged a buckshot that went off close to my ear."
Pinching his chin Kit cupped the other side of his face and brushed her thumb over his jaw.
"Doged isn't the right word. Nearly dodged, maybe."
One of his large slender hands wrapped around her wrist and pulled it from the side of his hiding it in his fingers and pressing it to the center of his chest.
"It could have been worse. I nearly passed out halfway, and would have crashed my boat."
There was no point in asking for more details and she knew that. So she walked him over and sat him down on the well worn old brown couch. Delicately Kit unhooking the buttons on his black shirt before she peeled it over his shoulders and inspected the full scope of the wound. It was actually worse at the top of his shoulder a couple of small pellets under the skin.
"You should have seen someone right away. They could have been infected, Blue."
He was watching her with his normal casual smile. Offering only a shrug as he leaned his head back on the couch and took the flask that he constantly carried out of his pocket chugging a swig.
"I didn't have anyone closer that I trusted."
No point in making an argument, she stood up and went to the kitchen first. Half a bottle of Jack Daniels was sitting under the sink from the last time he'd come and she had to run down the street to a liquor store in order to find him a painkiller. Long neck in one hand she made her way to the bathroom where she grabbed a stack of supplies from under the bathroom counter before returning to the couch.
"Drink this."
Brown eyes watched as his fingers wrapped around the bottle and placed it in his lap. His black gloves a constant barrier between himself and the world. The thick dark leather creaked as he brought the bottle to his lips and took a swig. Exhaling through his nostrils with closed eyes seemingly somewhat relieved.
"Come on then Mouse, give me your worst."
As usual he had a playful edge to his tone. He watched her moving closer, lifting a headlamp over her hair and clicking on the bright white rimmed glasses. Blue chuckled and brushed hair off of her forehead out of the way of the lenses.
"You're at home doctor's supplies get more professional every time I come see you."
Black latex gloves covering her own fingers now she lifted a pair of tweezers and a spatula with a flat top that she could use to press against the skin. Rolling her eyes instead of meeting his gaze.
"Your injuries also get more ridiculous. You know this should be done by a surgeon."
Before she could think fingers wrapped around her jaw and turned her face towards his. There was never any real emotion in his eyes. Affection always looked practiced and more than once he had given her replies so apathetic she thought he must have some kind of Cluster B disorder. But anger he showed readily and right now he looked well past annoyed with her.
"So you could have your dates back over again and leave me outside waiting for hours."
A year ago Blue had come seeking help only minutes after Kit had arrived home from a date with a gentleman in tow. Then ended up waiting outside for half the night with burns on his upper shoulder on the opposite side from his new injury.
She finally found him outside and let him in only to spend forty five minutes pinned underneath him on a mattress before he'd let her treat his festering blisters.
Gently as she could manage she ran her fingers through the now dark hair over his ear. Checking for more tiny injuries as she soothed him. The moment her nails made contact with his skin he settled. Hips shifting in his seat on her sofa while he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her on his lap. Purple tee shirt riding up her muscular thighs as his large fingers squeezed the meat of her ass.
"I was going to throw them away tomorrow."
It was embarrassing to admit. But normal men seemed, lackluster, with the ever looming question of if Blue would come soon constantly swirling in her mind.
He grunted again, words never having been his strongest form of communication. Well worn leather pressed against the pale skin of her upper thighs and the lavender lace of her panties. Pulling her closer till she straddled one of his thighs. With one hand she gently turned his face and picked up the tools off the couch next to her. A single large gauze pad laid out to catch the pellets she was about to remove.
"Why do you go out with them?"
It was a conversation the two of them went over more than once. Speaking in a low, careful voice she leaned in closer and started to gently push the first wound at the top of his shoulder to bring a metal bead to the surface so she could grab it with the tip of the slender tweezers and remove it
"Because I want to have a family one day."
Bottle pressed against his lip he watched her from the corner of his eye as he drank down another large gulp. After talking it against his side he placed his hand back on her thigh. Massaging her skin through an attempt at holding back a pained sound.
"You're not the family type Mouse."
In efforts to distract himself from the pain he had leaned back and closed his eyes. Taking slow more deep breaths all while he ran his hands up and down the length of her folded legs.
Kit shook her head as she pulled out two more blood colored beads and dropped them on the waiting pad. Grateful that no blood followed the projectiles out of the small holes.
"That's an assumption based on very little information Blue."
For a long moment there was silence. Then he grabbed both of her wrists and stopped her in place forcing her to look over at him. Letting go of one hand long enough to lift the lenses up on her glasses so they were looking eye to eye.
"I know you better than you think Mouse. Know where you go when I'm not here. Where you dance on Thursday afternoons, what places you like to eat. Even which places you avoid going."
She tugged on her wrists, not interested in another one of his many semi-threatening lectures. But he didn't let up.
"I know your mothers name. I know how your father died."
Kit's head snapped to the side and she looked at him stunned. Her father had been an American soldier who had taken part in many Black Ops operations. No one in her family was ever informed of how he had truly died. Only that it had been an act of valor.
"You can't know that, it's"
He cut her off with a snarky grin.
"Confidential? Nothing is confidential for me Mouse you should know that. You don't want a family, you just want someone you see more than once every three months."
In the process of speaking to her with his deep seductive timber, he moved hand gloved hand between her legs. Pushing his thumb against her clit through her panties.
"Blue, you still need pellets removed."
She nearly choked on the last word as the hand holding the tweezers squeezed the metal so hard it dug into her palm.
"No one is stopping you Baby, just distracting myself."
An argument would be pointless. She learned a long time ago that he was nearly relentless once he had made up his mind. So she set the spatula down. Deciding to do it the old fashioned way. Flipping her lenses down back over her eyes and brightening the light surrounding the lenses with the click of a button on the side.
Then leaned in and did her best to breathe through the feeling of him expertly stroking her already swelling nub through damp cloth. Each metal bead dropped from the thin implements with a slow exhale.
When she went to pull a particularly stubborn piece out from just underneath his ear, Blue surprised her by pushing two fingers against her clit and sliding them down her slit over her lavendar lace. Which was growing wetter by the moment. In response she pinched down on the edge of the injury. He didn't show his unhappiness with words or noises instead he wrapped a gloved hand around her throat and gripped tight. Kit set a hand against the center of his muscular chest and tapped her fingers in mild panic.
"I'm sorry Blue, but you're playing an awfully dangerous game while I try to do this."
Watching her for a moment he finally let up his grip and she inhaled again. Brushing her fingers up his chest and wrapping her hand around the non-injured side of his neck. Thumb rubbing over the heavy pulse she could feel thrumming under the skin.
"Say you're sorry the right way Kit."
Her name on his tongue made her shiver. Without thinking she shifted on his lap leaning forward while removing her head lamp. He grabbed both of her ass cheeks aggressively again pulling her close, grinding her over his leg. A slick trail of feminine moisture staining his gray pants.
"I'm sorry Blue."
Hand closed around the tweezers again she pressed the flat of her knuckles on a fisted hand to his pec and held the side of his neck still in the other hand. Finding his lips with hers and splitting them against each other until he dropped his bottom jaw to push his tongue past hers. Slender fingers tangled through her brown locks. Holding them so tight she whimpered against his mouth before he finally let her go.
"I forgive you."
That same hollow stare looked back at her even as he smiled. Oftentimes she imagined this is what it must be like to be a monster's favorite plaything. Living by carefully planned rules so that one never upset their unexpected yet very much expected guest.
"Thank you."
Once she righted herself on his lap she turned her headlamp on again and placed it back where it needed to be. Blue stayed mostly quiet for a long while. But once Kit had all of the small metal pellets removed and was concentrating on re-sanitizing and dressing the wound bit by bit he started to mess with her again. First by brushing covered fingers over her peaked nipples through her blue cotton t-shirt.
White teeth clamping down on a thick bottom lip as he watched her through heavily lidded eyes. Clearly the alcohol was kicking in but she knew it wouldn't be enough to put him out.
Blue was like a machine. She'd seen him show up standing on two feet when other people would hardly be crawling. Inhaling through her nose and letting it out through slow carefully pointed exhales Kit kept herself on task.
Even as he pushed the sticky lace of her undies away from her core and pushed through her folds with his thumb to find her quaking clit. The familiar feeling of the soft leather caused her to sigh.
"Hurry up Mouse, I'm losing patience"
He wasn't interested in excuses. Instead he moved his hand further between her legs. Pushing his long middle finger past her entry and deep inside. For a moment she shut her eyes until the wrinkles at the edges shook from tension. Then she opened them slowly and did her best to ignore his digit as it pumped in and out.
The butt of his palm grazed her clit with each stroke. Blue never let up his grip on her hair. But he didn't hold her back when she leaned back in and finished covering his wound. Hands shaking with the effort of trying to move carefully while holding back moans that were desperate to be heard.
At last he was wrapped almost fully around one shoulder and up the side of his neck. Another patch tapped to his head keeping smaller injuries sealed as well. She had moved in close enough that her breath whisked over his face with every exhale. Pale eyes as frightening as ever, Blue met her stare.
"Thank you Mouse."
The gloved hand stopped moving in her folds. He didn't remove the finger though. As his free arm coiled around her waist, he curled the digit and used both arms to pull her closer.
Lifting both of her own hands Kit brushed the back of her center knuckles across his high cheeks. Giving herself a moment at last to really assess him outside of his injury. He was watching her with curiosity in his gaze, but even his curiosity seemed practiced.
"You're not sleeping again."
The pad of one thumb followed the deep breath purple bag under one blue eye. Moving her hands down over his chest, she unbuttoned his shirt. Spreading the black fabric open over an abdomen formed like a statue.
"And you're neglecting sunscreen…"
There were signs of fading sunburn on the tops of both of his shoulders and the bridge of his nose. Slightly dried skin that was starting to flake. Her second comment gained a laugh.
And then she was reminded that he was still somewhat inside her when he added a second finger and pressed both against her G spot. Holding them there as she gasped and locked eyes with him.
"See little Mouse."
As Blue spoke, there was a tone that was so self sure and confident Kit knew it would turn her off of anyone else. But from him it made sense.
"There's no reason to go out on pointless dates. With pathetic, round faced,"
Before she could speak up in question how he knew what her date looked like he was pumping the gloved fingers expertly in and out of her core. She bunched his shirt in either fist and let her head drop back. His thumb moved over her clit making it impossible to keep her sounds of pleasure to herself any longer.
"Blue…"
Even if she wanted to sound upset, she only sounded desperate.
"I'm not done."
He released her waist and covered her mouth. There was no reason for him to keep her in place. She'd learned her lessons enough times and her body remained where he put it when he was pleasing her. Or pleasing himself with her, she was never completely sure what was happening between the two of them.
"Round faced, bug eyed, lawyers. Who have two ex wives and a daughter they don't see. No, you don't need him."
Occasionally, he would say or do things that reminded her he wasn't simply some short tempered, secretive man she met at a bar who kept himself a mystery because he didn't want to admit his persona was bullshit. Blue was a real danger. And he was clearly having her followed when he wasn't around.
Not that he had ever truly hurt her. The worst had been when she tried to tell him he couldn't come back anymore after the second time they'd slept together. Kit realized that she was somehow growing attached to this walking weapon who found himself comfortable in her space. And told him it was better if he sought help anywhere else.
When she'd said it, he'd only stopped in place. Then turned around halfway out the window and tilted his head, looking at her with a blank stare.
"Little Mouse, do you think you can tell me when this is over?"
It's the only time she'd ever run from him. The look in his eyes was something she hadn't seen again. And never wanted to. He caught her after only a few steps bringing her into her bedroom. For two days he'd had her tied there.
Not hurting but teaching. Doing things to her body that she never let another man and never thought she would enjoy. Making sure to feed her and bathe her when she got too messy for his tolerance.
At the end of her third bath, he'd given her a choice. It was time for him to leave, so he could take her with him. Locking her away somewhere no one but him would find her and keeping her all to himself until she forgot about there being an end. Or accept that he was in her life.
His exact wording had shaken her to her core. When it had occurred to her later laying in bed trying to process the previous 48 hours, that the phrase was typically only used in a very specific situation.
"For better or worse, sweet Mouse."
An ache brought on by the absence of his fingers, pulled her mind back to the moment. His gloved hand was hovering in front of his face as he licked the juices from the black leather. Once they were thoroughly clean, he smiled at her.
"You didn't fuck him."
He still held her face in place by one hand gripping either cheek, covering her mouth. So she simply raised her brow in the center. An expression somewhere between annoyance and "obviously", showing itself the best it could.
Blue moved so quickly she gasped as her back hit the couch roughly. Soft lips crashing against hers as he took what he had waited impatiently for. Instead of letting him have at, however, she pushed against his chest. Breaking the kiss.
He pulled back slowly. One brow arched as he looked down at her clearly trying to figure out exactly what she thought she was doing.
"You're going to fuck your shoulder up worse if we do this here."
The dimple she adored so much made itself prevalent in the corner of his jaw as he ground his teeth together for a moment moving to look in the direction of her bedroom.
"Well then,"
Once shifted off of her, he gestured broadly with his more mobile aside in the direction of her bedroom door.
"make haste. I only have so much patience left Kit."
Without waiting another second, she stood and quickly made a beeline for her bedroom. Not needing to check if he followed because she could hear the click of the heel on his dress shoe just behind. Now that he wasn't bothering to mask his presence.
Big hands found her waist and started pushing her t-shirt over her head from behind. Turning to face him she did the same with his dress shirt. More careful on the damaged side as she undid his wrist cuffs and freed his torso.
She couldn't breathe when she looked up at his blue eyes and they were watching her so strangely. In intimate moments he watched her like he was trying to understand her. Not just with the curiosity that coded his gaze as she tended his wounds. Or the confident snark that followed her around the kitchen on the rare occasion he showed up when she was cooking a meal.
But like he needed to understand. The first time they had held each other after a particularly intense round on her kitchen floor he'd kept his gaze on her face the entire time she'd slept. Telling her in the morning she looked like a doll as she dreamt.
"Okay Blue?"
He stopped moving completely in front of her. Hands freezing in place on her hips, where he had clearly intended to remove her panties. His jaw moved in place but no sound came for a moment.
"Am I okay? Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
The mysterious softness was gone. Now he tilted his head to one side, and it reminded her of the raptors in movies that both thrilled and frightened her as a child.
"You just seemed a little lost for a second."
Some of the confidence had vacated her voice. But his expression changed a couple of times before settling on hunger.
"You are more aware of me than I would like to imagine."
With the speed of a hunting lion, he wrapped his arm back around her waist and yanked her forward till her body was flush with his. Lifting one hand to brush the hair off her face.
"You're so unlike anyone I know, Kit. It doesn't serve you at all to tend to me. But you do it."
Understanding colored her features, and she reached out the hand of her brushing her fingers over the darkened mustache over his top lip.
"At first I did it because of the money. Fifteen grand might not seem like much to you, but it makes a difference to me. $45,000 a year is what many people make at their actual job."
The muscular appendage around her waist tightened its grip. Leather creaked behind her ear as his fingers grasped her hair and angled her face higher so he could see more clearly in the darkness.
"Mmmm, but you stopped letting me pay you once I fucked you."
Gently, she started to run her hands, palm, open fingers, splayed up the length of his abdomen over his chest until she reached his shoulders. Then she made her way back down, closing her fingers as she went. Repeating the motion as she continued to speak.
"I don't like the feeling of being paid by someone that I'm… intimate with."
That got her a smile and a gentle nod. He didn't loosen his grip anywhere but he did lean down and place an almost carefully soft kiss to her lips.
"You're not my whore Mouse."
The smooth low timber of his voice was like being surrounded by golden light. Kit couldn't help but close her eyes and take a deep breath. Lingering in the gentleness of the moment. An unusual treat from Blue.
"I know. But if you're expecting a simple answer as to why. Why I never called the cops, why I tell you to wear sunscreen, why"
He cut her off and cut to the point. Clearly still feeling the pull of her bed as he looked toward the open door then back to her.
"Do you love me?"
Kit went as rigid as a statue. Blinking at him as she processed the question.
"Love?"
It truthfully, wasn't something she let herself linger on for very long. More often than she wanted to admit she would find her thoughts concentrated solely on him. It could make a workday miserable if she'd got herself circling the drain of doubt. Wondering what kind of woman let a man she didn't truly know at all so close to her heart.
But then that was the answer itself, wasn't it.
"I, I don't know you."
She almost couldn't hear herself as she said the words out loud at last. Five years, twenty or more visits. A dozen nights wrapped around each other in her sheets. Six dinners. Three times he fell asleep holding her. Twice he stayed more than one day.
Yet still.
"Know me?"
Still holding the top of her arms. He pushed her back a bit looking down at her face now like she injured him.
"You know me. You're the only person alive who knows me. Who sees me sleep."
Kit felt her shoulders wilt. It was a losing argument with a person who couldn't understand what she was missing with him. Because he didn't need more than what they had. Or at least, that was a lie she told herself when she craved him in the dark and wondered if he had other short stops along his route with other beds and other women in them.
"I don't even know,"
He grunted like a bull huffing out through each extended nostril, as he let his head fall back and he groaned.
"My name… that goddamn name. It doesn't matter."
He took her face in either hand forcing her to look at him as he stared down. He was shaking with rage, but his hands stayed still where they held her.
"The name that you want belongs to a person that no longer exists. No one breathing knows that name anymore, and no record of him survived. I could give you half a dozen names that I give to other people, but they would be a lie."
Surprising her he kissed her deeply. She let her own arms wrapped around his waist as he moved closer. Letting her fingers journey up his back to his shoulders. Nails digging into the skin.
"I am who you know when I call on you. There's no secret other person I keep hidden. I am as hollow as you fear Kit. There's nothing to me but the death I deal…"
Taking a quick pause he scanned her face with his blue eyes. She couldn't tell if he was feeling a real emotion or trying to mimic the one played across her face. But in the moment she wasn't sure that it mattered. He didn't lie to her.
It wasn't that she was some idiot who believed he would only tell her the truth. But the things he said sometimes were often so blunt and horrifying that there was no reason to believe he lied about anything else.
"and you Mouse. You are the unfortunate lighthouse at the center of my storm. And I cannot let you be or give you peace now that I have you."
Kit wanted to be terrified. Or maybe even a little bit upset. Instead she couldn't stop the circling that one thought, before she could stop herself she finally asked the question. Whispering it into the palm of his hand as she turned her face away from his harsh gaze.
" Am I the only lighthouse?"
She thought he would be upset. Maybe course-correct away from affection and remind her that she was better not knowing his personal details. Rather he used his knuckles to turn her face back to his. Then he laughed. A full chested, almost mean chuckle.
"Oh, stupid Mouse. Is that why you're so sullen today? You've been dreaming about me giving someone else all of your kisses?"
Kit opened her mouth to fight back against being called stupid, but he cut her off with his tongue and lips. Not holding back anymore as he ran his hands down along the sides of her body. Moving until he reached her bottom cupping the ample cheeks and squeezing them before lifting her.
Without thinking she tried to study herself and ended up pressing one hand against his bandaged shoulder.
"I'm sorry."
She immediately winced as blood pooled on the newly placed gauze. Blue didn't seem to notice. He just found her mouth with his again and kept kissing her. Tongue plunging so deep past her lips, she nearly gagged on it.
She held his safe shoulder. Moving up along the ridge of his neck and around the back of his head to lace her fingers in the short brown locks. As he walked them towards the bedroom, she moved her other hand down the front of his body between them.
Swallowing his groan with a smile as she unhooked his belt. Tucking a tiny hand past his waistband and into his silk boxers until she found her target. Already swollen and leaking for her. She wrapped her hands around the center of his shaft and started to tug upward.
Using his own spill to coat him as she twisted just a bit with each upward motion. He released her mouth to leave a trail of kisses down her jaw in her neck. Pressing his face open mouthed against the cook of her neck as he panted.
His strong arm started to move her up and down over his stomach. Helping her reach more of him on the down stroke. The sounds he made even when they were just getting started were better than anything that she'd ever found anywhere else.
"Can't you see Mouse…"
His voice was raspy and full of need as he nipped at her skin.
"No one else makes me fall apart like you do."
They made their way through her bedroom door but he didn't put her down yet as they stood at the end of her bed. Forehead pressed against the side of her jaw. He kept speaking. Spilling out truths she'd never heard before as she worked him just like he needed.
"Do you want to know why I finally took you after all those months of holding us on the razor's edge of tension Kit?"
She loved hearing him like this. Usually he was simply uttering nonsense as he moved himself inside of her. Blabbing on about the way she felt and how he squeezed him.
"Yes."
She pressed a kiss to his hairline. Tightening her grip around his slick, seed covered member. The gasp he awarded her with made her feel like a goddess. A lion tamer who had settled her beast her again.
"Because you distract me. Even before I ever knew what it was like inside your velvet folds… fuck Mouse…"
His arms squeezed tighter. Fingers digging into the meat of her hips as he bit down on her shoulder.
"Because no one else has ever crossed my mind when I was meant to be pulling the trigger."
Trying to hide the confident smirk growing across her face, she gave a particularly rough yank to his tip as he pulled her up. That used off the last of his patience however, and she found herself on her back in an instant.
Blue's larger frame hovering above. Kit ran one hand up and down the arm that was stretched out a hand planted palm down next to her head on the bed. His other hand was exploring her. Fingertips brushing over the naked skin of her top half. Stopping at either breast to pinch each nipple and roll it for a moment. Watching the skin react.
"I can't love you Mouse."
She wished that he had waited to make that admission. On the same hand she had made enough conclusions about him in their time together that the confession didn't shock her.
She watched his face even as he avoided her gaze. Never losing sight of where his hand wandered.
"I've never been able to do things like that. But I can crave you. I can keep watch over you and make sure you're safe."
When his cold stare shifted to her, he wasn't hiding his emptiness anymore. He was still beautiful, but there was something nearly unhuman in the blank features.
"I can kill anyone who tries to take you from me. And make sure you never want for anything. But I can't love you. I'll never give you children or have you for Thanksgiving with some family."
In a series of fluid motions, he shifted. Pressing his hips down between her thighs, coiling her legs around his waist and leaning on both elbows so his nose brushed against hers.
"One day though Mouse, I'll come for you. And I'll take you somewhere beautiful where all you'll ever need is me."
Kit found herself overwhelmed by his confessions. She wasn't sure how much of it was manipulation, and how much was the truth. But they both knew that it was what she needed to hear. So she let it be true, at least for now.
Running those same fingers through his hair above his healthy ear.
"Will there be water? And beaches there?"
Immediately he smiled. Happy to have her playing along, or maybe grateful she seemed willing to go.
"If you like beaches we will have a beach. And when you're sick of the water, I'll take you to the desert. Until you need the cold, then maybe Anchorage, or St. Petersburg."
They never talked like this. There was never any concept of anything real between them. Let alone a future to dream about.
"You don't have to worry about me vanishing Mouse. If you go more than six months without seeing me again, then, you can assume I'm simply no longer capable of making it to you."
He kissed her insistently. The hunger gnawing at him from deep down no longer willing to play second fiddle to her emotional needs.
Prying himself away from her, he whispered the last of his assurances in her ear.
"And the only thing that would stop me from being able to get to you is prison or death."
Blue didn't need her agreement. He didn't even need her to verify she understood. He only needed her to surrender now. To let him feed and then rest.
So they didn't say anything else. Kit simply gave in and let him absorb her for a while. Whimpering against his mouth as he ground his hips down and pushed his throbbing erection against the wet center of her panties.
Teeth biting roughly at her neck and shoulder. Leaving deep red and purple marks she would cover with a turtleneck at work. Her back arched off the bed, and she rubbed against him like a cat in heat.
Never knowing how long he would be gone. Always made these nights together feel like desperate gnashing mating rituals more than affectionate reunions.
Blue moved quickly. Lifting himself off of her long enough to peel her last layer down her legs. Throwing the unnecessary fabric somewhere behind him. He shifted to the end of the bed, pulling off the shoes he still wore. Balling his socks and folding his pants next to them on the floor.
When he turned to crawl up the bed, he was the predator once again. Humming softly as he ran the tip of his nose up her calf then over her knee. Lifting her leg over his shoulder to continue his path until he found what he was seeking.
Half lidded eyes looked up at her as he lowered himself between her legs. Stretching his tongue from his mouth and flattening it until he pressed it against her folds, and she gasped. Instinctually, her back arched off the bed and her hands found the hair on the top of his head.
Kit moaned as he feasted. Bending her other leg away from them and out, since his shoulder was too injured to bear the weight. The fingers on one hand held her leg in place over his shoulder, keeping it curled around the back of his neck.
The other hand moved between her legs. Two slender fingers coming up to part her outer lips. Ensuring she was held open for his tongue's ministrations.
"Blue…"
She sighed out his name as he circled her swollen bud with his tongue. Sucking it between two thick lips until she almost felt her thigh start to shake. But he wouldn't make it so easy for her tonight, and he stopped before she found what she was seeking. Laughing maliciously to himself as he started to lick up her slit again. Gathering up the juices he'd been rewarded with.
He pushed his weight forward against the leg around his shoulder, and she moved accordingly. Opening herself up for him. Her efforts were quickly repaid by the sensation of his tongue, pushing past the entry to her core.
She let her hips rock against his face as she felt him tasting her insides. Brushing the soft tip of his wet muscle around the rim of her entry then pushing inside again. Blue set a rhythm.
Fucking her with his tongue for a while, then swirling the pooled juices around her folds before sucking her clit roughly. It took almost no time before she felt her thighs ready to quiver again.
"Please…"
He was the mood to torture her however, it seemed. Licking one last purposeful, stripe up her slit and over her bud. Slurping up the juices and spit that follow him. The pathetic whimpering noise she made. In response, it caused him to close his eyes and point his face towards the ceiling.
He bit down on his bottom lip and then looked at her. His eyes weren't hollow anymore. Instead, they burned low and hot. Just for her.
"Shhh… It's been a long time for both of us, Mouse. Let me have my fun."
Kit crinkled her nose at him, playfully, huffing and lulling her head to one side with rolled eyes.
"Good girl."
The sound of rare praise from him immediately made her entire face and neck burn red with a blush. She was caught off guard by the feeling of his lips against her navel and looked down to see him watching her. A gentle smile spread across her face and he returned it for a moment.
Then he pressed the two still gloved fingers holding her lower lips apart back inside her folds and her eyes rolled back. She was still aware of the feeling of him smiling against her skin, though.
With her lower jaw hung loose in a constant expression of pleasure she held his hair in one hand and found the blankets with the other. Knotting them in her grasp.
"Blue…"
She needed something. There was a feeling that she was chasing but she couldn't quite achieve it. No matter how she arched her back or shifted her hips. He was very aware of what she wanted. And didn't lift his face from its place against her stomach where he was watching his hand work.
"Hmmmm precious thing, what do you need?"
Kit shifted her hand from his head, digging at the shoulder, attached to the arm that led to the hand inside of her.
"Please…"
Blue was still smiling against her skin.
"Please what Kit. Speak up. You know I won't answer until you do."
Doing her best to open her eyes she looked down at him. Waiting until he met her stare and pleading again.
"Let me feel you…"
In the context of their current situation her request could mean a lot of things. But as his face softened slightly and he took a moment to look between her legs she knew he understood.
"You want me to take them off for you?"
He pulled his fingers out of her and even as she wanted to beg him to put them back, she couldn't help but shiver in anticipation of his next move.
"Yes."
He smiled again. Shiftings that he was on his knees between her legs looking down at her. He moved both hands in front of his body and undid the velcro holding the leather covers in place.
He didn't take them off often. Less than half the times they'd been together, she'd been able to feel his calloused fingers against her smooth skin.
"I'm glad you're getting brave enough to ask for what you want, Mouse."
It didn't go without notice that he stopped before taking them off completely. She wasn't sure if it was an aversion to certain textures, or just the feeling of security they offered. But part of her thought, he must wear them nearly all the time.
He opened and closed his hands a couple of times. Squeezing his fist tight to feel the leather stretch over his knuckles.
"Alright."
She couldn't help but grin at him. She didn't get many wins in this situation. There weren't many places for her to win. But getting him to take his gloves off always felt like achieving the impossible.
"Because you've been so sullen without me."
Kit didn't bother reminding him that every time he took the gloves off he made some excuse why it was for her and not him. But she could tell it was better for him as well when he did.
Things usually got much more intense. Which could mean a longer period of recovery, depending on what he was in the mood for. But that cost never outweighed the feeling of really having his hands against her skin.
"You're being very giving today Blue. You must have had a good job."
The smirk he gave her in return for her compliment was worth all the money on earth. Peeling each leather wrapping off. He set the gloves carefully on the far corner of the bottom of the bed. Then he crawled up the length of her slowly.
A pattern of bites and hickeys followed him until he reached her mouth. He brought one naked hand up to her face and brushed his fingertips over her cheeks. Kit couldn't help but close her eyes savoring the sensation.
"No. Strangely, I find myself gaining as much from your attention as I would a good kill."
She knew exactly what he was and who he was but it was still jarring on occasion to hear him admit the very hands that brought her so much ecstasy had ended the lives of countless others. And not in a way that a soldier had to kill someone to survive, but the way a leopard enjoyed the thrill of the hunt and reveled in their success.
"Thank you, I think."
Kit chewed her bottom lip the old nervous habit persisting even then. Blue pulled it from its place with his thumb. Tracing the curve of her bottom lip with the tip of his finger.
"It's alright to be scared of what I do. Even scared of what you may someday see me do."
His face grew strangely serious and he moved his other hand cupping each side of her face, his fingers playing in her curly brown tendrils.
"But you can't be afraid of me. Not ever. Your bravery is the only reason we've made it this far."
He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. For the very first time he seemed to regret what he had to say.
"If you were scared of me, I couldn't stand it. I, I don't know how I would react, Mouse. Not hurting, never… but, I couldn't let you go. Even if you hate me forever."
Kit placed her hands over his. Lacing fingers between his when he adjusted his grip to make room. Squeezing back when he tightened his knuckles around her hers.
"I'm not scared Blue. Not of you. Just, maybe of… of you not coming back."
The smirk she was met with immediately caused such whiplash that she wasn't sure if he meant anything he had just said or if it was another game to see what sort of reaction he could pull from her. It was difficult never knowing what he meant and what was theater.
But as of right now the facts that she was deciding to be true were that she was the only person he saw like this, that truly had no urge to hurt her, and that he hadn't told her any lies about his life. Just toyed with what it meant for her to have feelings for him.
"Because you love me?"
This wasn't a game that he usually wanted to play and she genuinely couldn't figure out where the question was coming from. Once they had watched a movie together during an awkward afternoon when he had longer than usual between the need to run and his need for medical assistance.
The movie had been a romantic comedy and during it the man had bought the woman a gift that was so specific to herself it had caused her and you to cry. Blue hadn't said a word but the next time he arrived he'd had a first edition copy of Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte tucked under one arm.
Kit hadn't even realized that he had noticed the several different versions stacked across the very top shelf of the bookshelf in her room. But when she'd taken it with a surprise smile and hugged him he pulled back and watched her face. When she'd eventually looked around confused and asked what he was waiting for he'd huffed, seeming rather put off.
"You're not crying. You don't like it?"
That was when all of her theories had been mostly confirmed. He didn't really feel emotion, he just played them. Mimicked what he saw to get what he felt would be the best result.
She almost lied. Somehow though he always knew when she wasn't telling the truth. So instead she shrugged slightly from her position underneath him.
"Yes Blue. Because I love you."
The way that his expression and body shifted caused her to tense up. He huffed out an exhilarated breath. Eyes growing wide with great interest in this new discovery as he rolled them over placing her on his lap.
He placed her just so. Brushing her hair out of her face making it neat around her features. Running his thumbs over Down either side of her jaw and neck before stopping on her pulse.
"I knew it. Your heart started beating faster, but not like when you were scared or when you wanted me. Something new, when I touched you. Before you knew I was going to leave. Like destress, but… more."
He may never love her. But she couldn't imagine another man knowing her body so well that he could tell the difference in the racing of her heartbeat.
"Do I make your heart beat differently?"
It was impossible not to acknowledge how pathetic it was to look for signs of love in a person who admitted they were incapable of it. But Blue didn't mock her or chastise the question. He did his best to look sympathetic. Taking both of her hands and both of his and bringing them to his lips placing several kisses against her thoughts.
"You make every part of me feel different. I promise."
She didn't want to hear anything else. Didn't want any more games, no more questions or studying. She wanted to linger in this imaginary proof that he cared and give herself over to the heights of pleasure only he had ever brought her to.
With a lunge forward she wrapped her arms around his shoulders not caring anymore about the injury. He never cared and that didn't stop now as he wrapped one arm tight around her waist and tangled the other in the back of her hair. Growling into the kiss.
Within moments his hand was between their legs adjusting himself so that he could press his tip between her slick folds. Brushing his tongue along the rim of her lips as he coated the pink tip. Synchronizing the thrust of his tongue and his cock between her lips and folds. Devouring her cry of pleasure.
Immediately their bodies found the familiar rhythm of one another. Her muscular legs wrapped around his hips, his bent slightly at the knee to buck up into her from beneath. She clawed at his bare shoulder. Holding his arm on the other side.
He had one hand gripping her hips firmly to guide her motions as she lifted and dropped her body in time with his thrusting. The other curled around her holding the back of her neck to keep her mouth sealed over his.
He kissed her so viciously that their teeth clinked together. Groaning and snarling over her own moans like a rapid animal. When he finally released her for air his pupils were wide and black. She pressed her forehead to his running her thumbs along the side of his jaw.
Each quick piston of his lower body bounced her off of him so roughly she hardly needed to put any effort into her tiny hops. They could both tell that she was headed towards the edge and she locked eyes with him making sure she had permission.
"Give it to me."
The little raspy words were all the permission that she needed and she started to crumble. Linking both arms together behind his head crying out into his neck as she spasmed in place. He didn't stop moving beneath her until she was starting to catch her breath. Pounding relentlessly upward as she nearly sobbed on his shoulder.
When she started to still he took her by the throat and lifted her face to his gaze. Kit greeted him with a lazy smile. And Blue only laughed softly in return. Licking the side of her neck then biting down hard until she cried out and he tasted blood.
"Good girl."
Her inner walls clenched around him pulling him in deeper. He hummed out approval before surprising her by pulling her off of his lap and turning their bodies until she was flat on her stomach underneath him.
Pulling up on her hips with one hand as he pushed himself back inside her wanton core. He laid himself over her reaching up over her head to take her outstretched hand in his. Linking their fingers while he pressed her into the bed.
With her best effort she lifted her head pressing the back of her skull against his chin. He tilted his head so that she could feel his lips pressed against the crest of her skull as he moved. Her other hand lifted, holding him delicately by the bandaged portion of his neck.
The entire bed shook under him with the force of each pump. His thick, extensive member filled her past the brink from this angle. She could feel his heavy sack hit against her lips with each thrust. For what felt like forever and not long enough at the same time he took her so powerfully that she almost forgot to breathe.
Gasping in an inhale when you pressed his lips to her ear and commanded her to do so. She tilted her face up brushing her nose against the bottom of his chin. When she opened her eyes he was looking down at her. Releasing her hand to cup her neck affectionately.
Instead of speaking which is what she had expected he leaned down and kissed her like that. Not a deep claiming, but several almost gentle kisses. At the same time his hip started moving more erratically. Before long his gentle grip of her throat was a steady grab and she felt the air leaving her lungs.
She whimpered out a moan and the hand cuffing his neck moved up scratching at the back of his skull. His hips continued their intense and almost untraceable pattern, pushing her toward the oblivion she longed for. Just when she started to feel the lack of air in her head she closed her eyes and let herself be taken over by the sound of his roaring climax.
"Fuck… yes…. Mouse, take it."
With those last words he pressed forward again and she felt herself clench and stutter once more around him. Toes curling and twisting together as she felt his hot seed fill her. All at once his grip on her throat was loose and she felt herself take in another deep gulp of air. The weight of him collapsing on top of her was like a welcome blanket.
He buried his forehead in the crook of her neck from behind. Wrapping one arm under her to keep her close. His other hand reached up and found her own again to lace their fingers together. She was only just starting to feel the breeze from her air conditioning cut through the tingling on her skin when she heard his first soft snore.
Adjusting herself as much as she could on the bed she looked at the two of them in the large mirror on top of her dresser. In the pale moonlight his naked body was still so obviously covered in so many scars and marks, some from injury she had healed, some had occurred between times when they've been together, and still so many others were from long before she'd ever known him.
Suddenly though, the things he hadn't told her didn't seem as important. The twisting feeling in her gut that grew every time the silence followed their rutting came back. And once again Kit found herself accepting that the man who had just brought her nirvana would most likely also be her end in one way or another. Somehow though it was all alright as long as he was hers.
_____
Hey there! Hope everyone is doing well. Just dropping a random one shot on this lovely Monday. I want to particularly say thank you for how kind everyone has been waiting for their particular favorite stories to post. Everything is still coming in it's own time. This was an idea I have wanted to mess with for a while and his unnamed Enemies character loaned itself well to the idea. Tag list from my last one shot.
What did you think was a writers worst missed opportunity regarding Piotrs? For me its not exploring his trauma over being tortured by ord for years, you only saw a very brief glimpse in colossus bloodlines.
Wellll...
I feel like you're right, in that Pete didn't have his trauma from Ord get much coverage, especially because Ord himself didn't end up taken all that seriously iirc.
Colossus was originally planned to be the break out character of the All New All Different; it's why he's so front and center on the cover of that Giant Sized. On the one hand, it only makes sense for him to remain support. He's never been much for the lime light. On the other, I wonder what could have been...
Oh, and also, so many of his appearances have been a painful cocktail of Worf effect and spite. I count that a missed opportunity. You guys know I love whump and angst as much as the next guy, but there's only so much you can do when the canon itself is picking a man up and bashing his head in repeatedly. It feels like I've been told to suspend my disbelief, that he'll eventually get happy moments and friendship again, but the suspense has been drawn out so long and I just want this underdog to get his way for once already.
This is really weird coming from me but if your parents have infantilized you or made you afraid of doing more complicated adult things or afraid of growing up and moving out-
Do them.
Like for years and years I’ve been petrified of growing up, but yesterday I sucked it up and called a bank and made and account then called my doctor to make and appointment and I also am looking at a job that my mom explicitly said “you cannot do” secretly (just to look you know out of curiousity for now) and it feels like a weight off my shoulders.
It’s extremely surprising when you escape your abusers (or on a more minor scale, people that have just happened to bring your pattern of thinking up in a way that makes you afraid of everything and feel like the world is terrifying and you will die if you don’t do everything they say or if you make the slightest mistake or forget to do even one thing) and are greeted with... Respect??? Comfort??? Help???
Like while doing these things I kept apologizing like “oh I’m so sorry I don’t know the answer to this I’m so sorry” and they were all really patient and nice and helpful and it’s like:
“Oh.”
Doing adult things isn’t as hard as some of our parents make it out to be- it’s not fun or a cakewalk- but it’s not like if you make a mistake or aren’t sure what you’re doing you’re gonna get blasted and yelled at (probably).
I’m not saying the world is a nice place, but looking optimistically not everyone you meet is gonna be rude and evil and kicks puppies or something like your parents.
The world sucks but sometimes it sucks a little less and sometimes there’s really nice people and friends in it.
there’s this boy i know, right? my friends and i call him pretty boy (bc hes uh. pretty. and a boy.) and we hang out. do whatever. mess around, have a laugh.
i um, wear his hoodie quite often (despite his feeble attempts to get it back) and steal his hat quite frequently, aha. the first time i wore his hoodie, i asked why it was so big one me (bc im like shoulder height compared to him hng) and he replied “its because you’re too short” anD HE MIGHT’VE WINKED AT ME???
i seriously hope i was imagining things lmao
the other day, he called me “my man” (like “something-or-other, my man” i dont even remember) and then he recoiled, starting to act all cute like “why did i call u that, i dont even have any real guy friends what was that lmao” and i was crying internally
and last night! oh dear, let me tell you about last night.
i went to bed at two am bc of a family gathering that was at my house and had a strange lil dream.
it was me and pretty boy awkwardly (but really cutely??) admitting our feelings to each other
there was this one part where i let something slip (it was something along the lines of holding hands and i said something about “us” or “our”) and he looked at me really confused and i was like “shit i goofed” but he was somehow ok with it??? and then he said “MARRY ME?” like no joke, quote unquote thats what he said.
and then i woke up.
Alright crackheads!! I just hit 600 followers on this mess of a blog and honestly,,,,,I am in shock! Thank you to everyone who reads, likes, reblogs, and comments on my stuff because it means a Lot to me and my small brained self. I wanna...do something?? To celebrate??? But as aforementioned, I have a small brain and I can’t have too many thoughts in there at once, meaning I have no idea. So if y’all want me to do a bullet point scenario, fake text thing, or even have ideas for a later AU (even though I midkey have one already because I’m impatient and it might be scooby-doo influenced) drop in my askbox and hit a biddy up!! Nah real talk tho: thank you :).
Also special shoutout to @abziyi, @kimjungwoocult, @pork-jisungie, @wowlele, @yeehaweli and @jenostransbf for being nice mutuals who interact with my dumb ass often and are just gems overall 😛
I was tagged by @quinnicat to do an ask game so. This.
Favorite time of the day? Between 8 and 9 at night because it’s just really calm and nice.
Princess/Disney Movie you were obsessed with as a kid? The Little Mermaid. I pity anyone who was friends with me during this time because I made them watch this movie with me nonstop.
Favorite think about yourself? (Don’t answer with nothing!) I have nice hair sometimes?
The song you most recently listened to on repeat? Probably Death by Glamour tbh
Childhood pet? Cat named Andrew (and also several fish before that)
What was your last imaginary friend’s name? That wasn’t since I was like 8, but I think her name was Elizabeth??
Smoothies or Slushies? I refuse to answer this question.
Silver or Gold? Silver tbh
One of your best memories :)) Being the womb
Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? My mom
If you could replace rain water with one thing, what would it be? (Like silver rain, or puppy rain. Assuming that nothing hurts you or hurts whatever is falling) Idk strawberries maybe?
Headphones or Earbuds? ehhhh.... earbuds.
Okay my questions
What’s book or movie that you have liked/will probably like for a long time?
Do you enjoy Tumblr ask games?
Describe your favorite person (or favorite people) in one word (you don’t have to say who they are).
Dream career (doesn’t have to be realistic)?
What was you first pet? If you didn’t have any, what did you wish you had?
Movie that makes you cry (or almost cry)?
Favorite video game?
Stuffed crust on pizza?
Team Iron Man or Team Cap?
What was your first obsession (that you can remember)?
Do you play any instruments?
Wii, X-Box, or Playstation?
I’m tagging @teenage-steven-universe, @krypto-splash, @pocket-people, and @galaxy-dopee but I know Quinn already tagged you, so feel free to ignore.
I also tag @sedmaka, @baka-the-fox, @gastfyr, @xagrok, @atwojay, @islandcaves, and @captain-sassy-duck. You all can also feel free to ignore if you don’t want.
