THE ASSERTION briefly unmoors him , sweeping the grief back in like an unexpected tide . he's been good , so far , at drowning it . at pressing it down while things still needed to be done ( things always need doing , nikolai . when will you stop running ? ) . but her words , no doubt intended to be comforting , yank them back to the surface without warning . he intakes a sharp breath , a quiet shaky thing . he should be here , he thinks . he should be here , NOT ME .
❝ he - - always put more faith in me than i deserved , the fool . so yes , probably . i've not done enough to earn your pride yet , genya . but i certainly intend to . ❞