Recently, someone unfollowed me after noticing that I occasionally quote Lori Alexander (The Transformed Wife). I understand why some might find her content polarizing, but I want to clarify my stance on a specific issue because it’s too important to leave unaddressed.
While I appreciate Lori’s Christian approach to biblical womanhood and her encouragement for wives to honor their husbands, I strongly disagree with her position on marital intimacy as a “duty.” I do not support the idea that a spouse—husband or wife—should feel forced into physical intimacy.
Marriage is a covenant of mutual love, respect, and selflessness. God calls husbands and wives to give themselves to each other, but that giving must come willingly, not under compulsion. A healthy marriage thrives on open communication, understanding, and consent. Both spouses are called to meet each other’s needs, but there’s a big difference between willingly offering yourself in love and being forced.
Marital rape is a grievous sin and an abuse of the sacred bond between a husband and wife. Intimacy should never be coerced or demanded. Just as neither spouse should withhold affection out of spite, neither should force it. True love respects boundaries, listens to the heart of the other, and seeks unity without harm.
I’ll continue to quote and share biblical principles that align with my beliefs, but I want to make it crystal clear where I stand: consent is vital in marriage, and abuse in any form is never acceptable.
If you disagree with me or have thoughts on this topic, feel free to share. I believe conversations like these are important for understanding and clarity.
