#lossofasibling

[ravitastic]

It’s mad…it’s been 4 years since you went to sleep @chuttoousha…miss you everyday in lots of ways…had a fun conversation with @asha_c123 about jelous-ceasar the other day, made me smile and think of you… #princessravi #princessravitastic #rip #lossofasibling #lossofasister (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRi5fS-FG_q/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ravitastic]

Happy heavenly 38th birthday, making the journey to your commemoration after almost 2 years...I knew I had to do it inappropriately in an outfit that was described as "my very old weathly husband just died" vibes. Wealthy widow! Miss you everyday @chuttoousha . . . . . #rip #lossofasibling #ootd #ootdlondon #gucci #guccioffthegrid #nikeairhuarache #mask (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPeFytKlkKc/?utm_medium=tumblr

[fmckeown]

Grief

In the years since my brother died I’ve had a few people tell me I should be “over” it by now. I’ve come to realize that I am not “over” my grief. I take the good days with the bad. Some days, weeks, months are easy. Some hours are so difficult I want to curl up and cry. This year the sadness and loss is almost suffocating and I don’t know why. 13 years and I’m still navigating my grief.

[ravitastic]

@blackeyebenjamin Thanks for the amazing work and overall experience...I'm sure she would have loved them!!! Baby girl look what you made me do...The babies and you...I know you're in a better place but I wanted to makes sure that as well as in my heart I carried you on me...#loss #lossofasister #lossofasibling #origamielephant #origamielephants #origamielefante #origamielephanttattoo #princessravi #princessravitastic #elepahantsalute #tattoo #tattoo2018 #newink #inked #ink2018 (at London, United Kingdom)

[anumali93-blog]

Continued

My dream is to be in a job where I can help others who have experience something so traumatic and help them get through it, just how my counsellors have done for me.

I am angry at life, for what I have been through, but hopefully reading this especially those who know me well can understand why I am the way I am. I have had people treat me so awfully and I still see the best within them, I guess I know how short life is and aiming to be the best person I possibly can be.

For those who have experience something similar will agree this doesn't get easier. It's coming up to 8 years since I last saw my brother, last spoke to my brother, last played a prank and had a laugh with my brother. It hurts seeing how much he's missed especially the birth of our nephews. Seeing us all grow from teenagers to adults. It hurts just as much as the day he died.

My sisters and I all had a necklace made with a picture of my brother engraved on the pendant. It’s upsetting to know it’s coming up to 8 years since I’ve worn it everyday and I will continue to do so forever.

Ayesha summed it up perfectly the other day, 'the whole world has moved on but for us it will always be ‪Wednesday 6th January‬ 2010’

[radicalmisconception]

6/1/2017

Today marks 7 years since your death and it still hurts. Each year gets a little easier, but I will never know life without the ache of mourning you. I try to believe that you're where you're supposed to be and that there is a reason you were taken from us so young, that your death wasn't meaningless. This is what I tell myself to get through the day. In your short life you did so much for me, and continue to from your plane of existence. Through my fragility of your death I have grown into a stronger person; Wise beyond my years. You've helped me to develop into someone with such profound life experience, even if those have been grave. Your life and death have opened me up to things most people wouldn't believe. You've shown me love, and the importance of showing your love to the ones your care about. You've taught me how incredibly short and unfair life can be. All lessons that I continue to benefit from daily. As thankful as I am for these, I still wish we could go back to that day 7 years ago. We were all so young and you went so tragically. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real, other times too real. You are everywhere I look and in everything I do. I will never get over losing you and I pray for the day that I will see you again.

[livelovelaughtakephotos-blog]

A little bit of background

So I’ve finally decided to actually start the blog I’ve been thinking about for years now. It’s been one of those things that has sat in the back of my mind that comes up when I’m lying in bed trying to go to sleep at night. You know the thoughts I’m talking about, the ones that are perfectly clear when you are lying in bed trying to sleep but you chicken out when you get up? Well here it goes.

First I want to introduce myself to you so my future posts will hopefully make a little more sense. In any good read I think context is important.

So as I am writing this I am in my 28th year on this earth and as I near the great big 3-0 I reflect back on the moments in my life that have made me who I am. For me several of the defining characteristics of who I have become are in part due to my siblings. I grew up as the middle child to a dramatic, funny, smart, outgoing and strong willed older sister and a loving, silly, and happy younger brother.

When I was 5 my younger brother was diagnosed with autism. In that time there was not as much publicity and knowledge about the condition as there is now. However my parents rejected the idea that he should just be “put away” in a home. My mother, the warrior that she is, started our home program and later our school district’s first special needs classroom that is still thriving today, thanks to her efforts. My sister and I grew up being taught to always take care of each other and our brother. Our parents always made sure that we never felt left out or discounted in any way.

I had an amazing childhood. Our family worked together to make it the best for my brother and for us girls. We never questioned that we were loved and home was always the one place we felt the most accepted and safe. As I learned more about the world I realize how truly amazing this is. The fact that I still feel relief as I drive up my drive way speaks to the home that my parents helped create for us. That warm feeling “I am home now everything will be okay”.

For 16 years we thought the greatest hurtle we would have to deal with everyday is what is the next phase of autism going to bring with it and how do we get my brother the most skills he can get. Well life had different plans for us.

Two months before my 17th birthday we lost my older sister to a car accident. She was 19 and on her way to see her boyfriend on a slick rainy highway. My sister was so full of life and so vibrant it was not conceivable to think that light was simply gone, diminished from our lives forever. This loss is life changing and it has changed me forever.

Unfortunately life was not done with us just yet. Over the next five years we lost both my mother’s parents and my great grandmother. We also came one ICU stay away from losing my paternal grandfather, and my baby brother. Thankfully both my brother and grandfather came out of these scares healthy. My mother also went into the hospital during this period with what we finally discovered after a five day stint in the hospital with 105 degree fever was Lyme disease.

Thankfully our lives turned around in that sixth year and we had marriages and births and graduations to celebrate.

Out of all of this my parents have been our rock, they are the strongest people I know. Our family has a strong spirit and survive each day with three simple principals: Love each other, look for the positives and laugh, and live with the belief that those we lost are all around us cheering us on everyday and live for them with all of your heart.

I tell you this not to garner sympathy but simply because it helps explain who I am and my outlook on life, I hope to share with you here. Also I hope some of my posts may reach other grieving siblings and offer some support or hope that although, 11 years later I miss my sister no less, you can live through it and laugh again.

Also I want to share my outlet for expression in my photography, where I find solace in this crazy thing we call life.

I hope I can share a bit about me and my personal anthem to Live Love and Laugh