#louzard

[pdqsketch]

Commission done for @sparroet!

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It feels so good, touching himself after days of not. Louis mind blanks and he groans, spreading his thighs a little more and stroking himself slowly. He wonders who'd touch him while he looks like this, if anyone. He wonders if Harry would mind.

The last time he was with Harry - he shouldn't think of it. There's plenty of other things to think about. In fact, somewhere inside him, he knows he doesn't even really deserve to think about Harry like that, not anymore. He forces his brain to flip through other things, to other people.

But it's so dark, and he's alone, and thoughts don't hurt anyone. If he thinks about Harry's deep voice, and pink mouth, and glassy green eyes - it can't hurt him. The last time he was with Harry -

Louis rubs a sliver of skin covered in scales with just the right amount of pressure, and he gasps, arching his back and twisting up into the hand on his cock, his grip tightening as he starts to come.

Louis' dick snaps clean off in his hand.

He's still for a moment, just staring and trying to comprehend what he's looking at. Louis is holding his dick in his hand, for sure, but it's nowhere near attached to his body in any way.

He shrieks and drops it on the bed next to him. It lies there, lifeless. He flicks the lights on to look at it, as if feeling it weren't enough. It looks just like his dick, except it's not on him. Also it's a little too flushed, like it's been dipped in fuchsia food coloring or something. He reaches between his legs where it should be, not wanting to look at himself yet, and he expects there to be a bleeding, gaping wound, since he's apparently just ripped his dick out by the root. There's nothing there, just smooth skin. He forces himself to look. Where his dick should be is just an uneven circle of flesh, a little stump left over where it came off.

U JUST HAD TO BE THE ONE TO BRING THIS UP DIDN'T U!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!! This of course is from my One Direction fanfiction A REPTILE DYSFUNCTION or as it is known colloquially, LOUZARD. A collab with the most talented artist of all time Natalie @rlottery!!!! This story is from 2014 and so much time has passed and we have all been thru so much. By the way I still CANNOT believe this fanfiction is nearly 40k words long.... I was crazy for this one!!!! I'm also in tears because the hit count on this is SOOO low for a LARRY fanfiction.

Ok the premise of this fanfiction is basically that, as a punishment for being a horrible nasty prick bastard, Little Mix puts a spell on Louis in a direct homage to the movie The Craft. The spell causes him to slowly transmorph into a lizard, like he gets scales and lizard eyes and so forth. IT'S AN AU???? Looking back I would have made this canon compliant as it were but that's ok.

I have always really loved to write stories about a character going thru something wild and crazy with their body because the cosmos are trying to push them towards somebody for love (eagle eyed readers will have also spotted this motif in my NARRY fanfiction Baby, I and my IT 2 fanfiction If I'm Butter and some others). Like until you learn to love then your body will life-or-death crave breast milk or it will be stabbed so many times or it will turn into a lizard!! And when I learned that a lizard could snap its tail off and it would grow back I thought, u know what. It would be so funny if Louis' dick and cock snapped off like a lizard's tail. AND IT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!! This mf keeps snapping off his damn weiner so many times he gets a collection of them going and puts them on his windowsill. THE IMAGE OF THIS...... I HELD IT SO CLEARLY IN MY MIND... AND THEY LET ME GO ONLINE AND WRITE IT. He is trying to whack off to thoughts of Harry, but at this point he has not fixed his heart, so he is not allowed. THE COSMOS WON'T ALLOW IT!!!

[temnofelisaur]

Mephisto - Louzard

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#1 about Louzard plzzzzzzzzz

LOUZARD

What was my inspiration for this fic? How did it come to me?I genuinely don’t remember WHY I wanted Louis to be a sex lizard so much. I feel like it was, “like, you know, just look at him” because just look at him. He’s kinda lookin like a sex lizard sometimes, and it snowballed from there. WHAT are some COMMON characteristics of LIZARDS? HOW can I apply these to HUMAN situations? One of my fondest lyfe memories is being in a stranger’s home in Chicago in the summertime 2k13 with Natalie rlottery and Gina gentlehousing and explaining every major plot point of LOUZARD to them. Teen witch Little Mix, dicks falling off, untagged NARRY - saying these things out loud in front of people while wearing JORTS and having my titties out. Sharing my ideas with my beautiful friends IRL and seeing their beautiful faces and legs and arms IRL and being NSYNC with them IRL about One Direction was so wonderful and rare. A few hours later I almost puked on the street because I was suffering from sun poisoning and heat exhaustion which COULD explain so many things about so many things. In the end my main inspiration was probably Natalie rlottery herself, because I was writing things I knew she would like, and because she held my breasts through the entire writing process. LIVE 4 UR FRIENDS. LAFF WITH UR FRIENDS. LOVE UR FRIENDS. LOUZARDS WILL COME 2 U. 

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14 FOR LOUZARD PLEASE

If I were to write a sequel to this fic, what would it be about?

LOUIS UNCONTROLLABLY RE-TRANSFORMS INTO HIS TRUE LIZARD FORM AGAIN. HE GOES FULL LIZARD, LIKE HIS MIND ISN’T THERE ANYMORE, HE IS EATING BUGS, HE IS LAYING EGGS IN A POND, HE IS SHEDDING EVERYWHERE. HARRY MUST LET GO OF HIM EMOTIONALLY AND RELEASE HIM INTO THE WILD. HE WIPES A SINGLE TEAR AWAY AS HE WATCHES LOUIS CLIMB A TREE AND EAT A BUG FOR ONE LAST TIME. THEN HE GOES BACK AND MARRIES NIALL AND LIVES THE BEST LIFE OF ALL. #UNTAGGEDNARRY

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louzard fic for the meme please, and questions 3 and 9 (and 13 if you want)

A Reptile Dysfunction

What’s the part of the fic I’m most proud of?I am VERY proud of how LONG this story is. IT’S SO LONG!!! 40k WORDS!!!!! OUT OF MY BRAIN AND INTO YOUR CAR!!!!! This is the longest thing I have ever written, like in my entire lifetime. Also I feel like this is another fairly unique story from a deviant mind and I like that a lot. Like, Louis’ lizard dick falls off. That makes my heart swell with pride.

Did anyone in the fic surprise me by doing anything? If so, what?NO. Louzard was meticulously pre-planned and outlined and discussed at length for several months. I don’t remember ever writing and being like OMG, BUT WHAT IF INSTEAD, THIS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH WRITING THIS. I will say - I had no idea what I was going to title this fic until the last second. THE TITLE IS A CHARACTER, RIGHT??? I was fully googling “LIZARD PUNS” “LIZARD LYRICS” “SONGS ABOUT REPTILES” before coming across A REPTILE DYSFUNCTION which served sooooo many purposes 4 me. 

What were my beta’s major comments about the first draft of this fic?Stuff like : genius, amazing, everyone will love it, please re-word this, my god this is worded awkwardly, what are you trying to say here, this doesn’t make any sense.

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how do you feel about the fact that someone is using the url "louzard"

EXTREMELY aroused. I’m in the “louzard” tag like 24/7/365 cuz I like looking at myself in a mirror, and what is a better mirror than THE INTERNET’S OPINIONS ON UR FANFICTION? I saw tumblr user louzard and some of tumblr user louzard’s friends were reading the fanfiction Louzard and they were all super grossed out and flipping their lids over how weird it was, and it made my heart smile. First of all, if THAT’S the weirdest thing you’ve ever read, you are a poor, naive, innocent baby calf, and I hope you grow into a twisted pervert cow as depraved as me one day. Second of all, we all have those fanfictions from when we were 17 that we read and were deeply traumatized by because it was just so messed up. If I say “just a belt” y’all know what I’m talking about am I right???? Or the one where Hogwarts itself came to life and a curtain gave Harry Potter a handjob. So much dog sex. So many tentacles. So much ass babies. I’ve just been through so much. If Louzard can be that one fanfiction that sticks with someone for life because they were so incredibly disturbed by it and they were like “WHAT’SSSSS HAPPENINGGGGGGGG”, then I am happy this is my legacy. Through Louzard, I am immortal. Bless this mess.