okay, your anon got me thinking, and my answer is sebson that doesn't start until flop era seb. they've been friends for ages, they have flirted forever, but never done anything about it because that would be crossing lines and possibly wrecking something that brings them a lot of joy. but now Seb is so tired, and so done with everything, and Jenson is still flirting with him, and he can just about remember how to be that person, who flirted back. it’s a stretch to be that person, it doesn’t...
cont: fit quite right, but he likes it as a costume. and he’s just like, fuck it, why not? they might as well fuck. everything else is a disaster, it’s not like he’s going to make his life worth. Jenson was definitely flirting just for the sake of flirting, because it’s what they do, but when Seb makes a real move, what’s he going to do, back down? No, he’s Jenson Button. so they start having sex, and it’s… mediocre at best, because Seb is preoccupied with seven hundred terrible things that are happening, and Jenson doesn’t even know if he wants this, but what else can they do? they get stuck in this very mutually unsatisfying thing, and it’s miserable, and they both miss just being friends and flirting for fun. I don’t know where it goes from there, but that’s ok, because the question was evil so nothing has to be fixed!!!!!! thanks to your anon for making me consider this cursed situation.
---------
GOD!! @loveisworry I said this when you sent it to me but this is so so brilliant, I'm absolutely obsessed, everyone is invited always to come send me stuff about toxic ships because I love to turn things evil, I love it
