messy thoughts
I don't know if this writing therapy helps. It is definitely getting better and brighter everyday. A heavy heart towards him seems now a bit lighter. However, of course, there’s still something I should let out in order to lock it up in here, for my brain & heart’s spaces. The story continues to the part of “10 things I am impressed about him”:
1. The very first impression that drives me into “considering & giving this relationship a green light” stage is he is one of the best promises keepers I’ve ever met. He planned on meeting me, he did. He promised to share with me his first motorbike photos when he received it, yes he did. Little things say a lot.
2. His past. He shared with me few things about his past, his childhood, his family, his thoughts over something which perhaps connected us. We both used to be broken, unhappy, and even teared down but we did choose to live different lives and still believe in better future. If our hearts somehow are dancing in the similar rhythms, I believe that we are both craving for a true and fulfill happiness. A lot!
3. He is like an old soul living in a youthful appearance that seems like a balance & an add-on for mine.
4. He’s silly sometimes. Or he meant all those things. I don't know. Everything still remains mystery until now.
5. He seems to be honest with his words. Whenever he doesnt want to say something, he will not say it. When he does, he spills out the truth. Not 100% since he has secrets too. But I do respect that.
6. He’s smart, of course. We can nearly talk about everything and that’s what a true long-term relationship needs.
7. He’s tall and has good physical body. It sounds a bit shallow of me but that’s the truth. It’s a plus. I fall for those who know how to take good care of themselves. Someone used to tell me: “We can't buy anti aging, that’s why we should keep working out, for aging to be the most graceful process ever”. Better health, better mind.
8. His smile. Unfortunately he normally looks deadly serious. He used to tell me there would be no reason for friendly smiling during works. But he’s friendly indeed. He even bought milk teas for female colleagues when they asked for. Well!
9. Girls like him. He always knows that. But he doesnt play around, or at least with me.
10. He’s not mine. But don't take me wrong. I’m not craving for having him. I miss him, yes. I have feeling for him, yes. I cherish this relationship a lot, yes. I used to wish it could turn out to be different, yes. But I’ve tried my best already and there must be reasons for how everything is today. I don't regret anything. We all know saying goodbye is also a way to create a new hello. And hope these writing pieces are efficient part of bidding farewell to this hopeless “something-similar-to-love”.
