#lt's headcanons

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Vampires SMP college AU headcanons:

because I refuse to be stopped by petty things such as homework or productivity

Abolish is the only one in the group who knows how to sew, the knowledge of which has led to several occasions where someone in the group has come to him with a button popped of their jacket, or a rip in their favourite jumper an hour before a party. They always expect him to be frustrated at the sometimes very last minute requests, but all he does is sigh, lead them to the nearest chair, and pull out his sewing kit.

One evening, Apo knocks on his door at 2:30 in the morning, holding an incredibly sad looking Truffle. A sleep-deprived Pyro had taken his roommate's request to 'toss her the scissors' a little too literally, and Apo, who was trying to snip a loose thread on Truffle's leg, had instinctively held the stuffed pig up as a shield. The scissors had ripped a giant tear in Truffle's stomach, and when they went to take them out, it tore the fabric even further. Half the fluffy white stuffing was pouring out the 'wound', and Apo sheepishly asked if Abolish could lend a hand. Abolish, good-naturedly, invited her in and carefully stitched the pig back together with a pink thread just off from the original colour, and then promptly fell back asleep as soon as she left. Apo said the slight colour imperfection added character, even though Abolish was determined to re-do the stitching with a better colour match one of these days.

Owen is very proud of his status as a woodworking apprentice, instead of studying something useless like music or, god forbid, philosophy. His second most shameful secret, however, (the first being that he slept with a stuffed animal until he was twelve years old) is that, every week, he attends a Shakespearean melodrama class that none of his friends know about (if they learn he likes drama, his totally real and definitely respected reputation as the resident moody lumberjack who despises everything to do with the arts might be put at risk)

He really, really wants to be able to hate acting, but he just...can't. The monologues are so fun ! They learnt how to do stage makeup ! he's going to audition for the role of the lead villain next week

Sausage is, in fact act, that one English major friend, and he knows it, too.

Shelby wanted to study Cryptozoology, but, to her great disappointment, the college didn't offer that as one of the courses. Currently, she's majoring in ecology, with a minor in forensic sciences, which is where she met Drift.

Drift is the only one of the group to own a car, and she is forever stuck giving people rides to the randomest of places. She doesn't mind being used as the resident taxi service, though, because when she's driving she has aux cord privileges, which she uses to traumatise all her friends with her favourite true crime podcasts.

So far, the only two who actually enjoy the more than slightly bloody story-times are Sausage and Avid.

Sausage says it helps inspire his writing, and he's taken to asking Drift to check his murder plot lines for accuracy (and every time, she has to find a way to very politely tell him that that is decidedly not how crime scenes work.)

Avid has an uncanny ability to guess who the murderer is within the first 10 minutes of the podcast, even when there's literally no way he could've possibly know that.

It becomes their sort of Friday night ritual, to put on the creepiest true crime podcast Drift can find, and wait for Avid to start hurling seemingly wild accusations at a random character. Drift has taken to saying that if she ever starts her own detective business, all she has to do is point Avid at the line of suspects and let him do his thing.

Avid gets them matching friendship bracelets that say 'Partners in Crime.' He complains about the levels of cheesiness, but you'll still be hard pressed to find him or Drift without them around their wrists.

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Vampires SMP College AU:

because I'm abysmal at drawing but I can and will make silly little headcanons until my computer dies

The group all met when they were assigned to the same floor together

All the floors are named after old towns in the area, and they got the Oakhurst floor, which apparently has a reputation for being haunted. (it's probably fine though, right? Right?)

Apo was signed up for a military training program, but after realising her deep hatred for anything blood-related, she switched to studying Political Sciences instead. She facetimes her long-distance girlfriend, Cherri, every week.

She and Pyro once bought a stuffed pig plushie at the gift shop of a incredibly dull museum, and although Truffle has nearly been dropped into the lake or off the side of a cliff several times, they love him dearly. Everyone knows that to threaten Truffle is to invoke the wrath of death itself (aka two broke college students with full access to the chemical labs at the university)

Legs is a very tired medical student doing his placement at the hospital. he refuses to drink coffee because he says it tastes bad, gets about three hours of sleep every night, and is perpetually done with the group's chaos. He's the disappointed dad to the group in every way but age.

Scott, Owen, Shelby and Pyro are all TAs for various professors. Owen took the position 2 years back to help out his partner, Louis, who had graduated the year before and had just started teaching. (although, everyone knows Owen didn't actually care about the job, he just wanted to spend as much time with Louis as humanly possible.)

Scott and Owen 'persuaded' (read: bullied) Pyro into becoming a TA as well, and he convinced Shelby to join them. No one knows when or why Scott first became a TA, or how old he is in the first place. They have a running betting pool on the group chat (Shelby is absolutely convinced that Scott is secretly 1,000 years old, and came back to college because his immortal life was growing dull. She has a ridiculous amount of money riding on that bet, and is desperately trying to find evidence to prove themselves right.)

Abolish is majoring in hospitality, and even though he has been told many times that he doesn't have to wear a butler's outfit everywhere, he refuses to take it off. Martyn once saw him attending a high-level fencing class, suit and all. At this point, the group has just decided to accept it.

Legs is constantly trying to convince Owen to come to the hospital and get his chronic condition checked out, or at the very least take some proper painkillers, but Owen always stubbornly refuses. It's become a weird song and dance between the two almost every week, even though it practically always ends in the same way: with Owen hanging around the clinic during Leg's shift, which Leg's claims is so he can 'keep an eye on him', but he secretly appreciates the company to keep him from going insane during the long hours. Owen is well aware of this.

Practically all of the TAs end up in Scott's dorm (how he managed to get a dorm to himself is still a mystery to this day), grading papers or trying to read the whole of 'To kill a mockingbird' in three hours.

The rest of Oakhurst has taken to calling them 'The Coven', seeing as they seem to thrive in the dark, chugging energy drinks (they all agree the red ones taste the best), and glaring at anyone who dares to suggest they open a blind.

The rest of the group have claimed Cleo and Pearl's dorm as their own, and has dubbed Cleo the official mayor of Oakhurst to make up for the chaos that now seems to permanently reside in their dorm.

Cleo's also the only one of the group who can actually cook, and upon seeing some of the horrifically unholy creations the group try to pass off as food (Pyro once added an entire bottle of ketchup onto day-old microwave ramen with stale cheetos sprinkled on top for 'flavour', before downing the whole thing in a matter of seconds), they took it upon themselves to force the group to eat an proper meal at least once a week.

This is lovingly referred to as 'family dinners', and at least two people are passed out at the table any given time.

Happy College AU day, everyone. See you next week for the brutal onscreen deaths of all our favourite characters !!

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

vsmp trustbites headcanons:

none of these people know how to cook. I've said it once and I'll say it again.

Louis was turned when he was eight, that dude wasn't even allowed to use the oven yet. For the vast majority of his life, it's been blood and raw meat, barely a pot or pan in sight.

Legs can probably cook the best of all them, and even then, it's only a little bit more flavourful than the rations he used to live off of during his life as a soldier. The trenches weren't exactly a place where one could stop to simmer some soup, or wait for a cake to rise, and after his service, he purposely refused to take the time to cook anything remotely nice for himself, because he was conceived he didn't deserve it.

And finally, Owen. While he was alive, his idea of cooking mostly consisted of shoving whatever meat he could scavenge on a spit over the fire, and after he was turned, he just cut out the middle step and ate the meat straight from the carcass. He didn't even add salt.

Legs's comfort food is ANZAC biscuits (a biscuit popularised during world war ll and given to troops due to its lack of rationed ingredients like eggs.) It's one of the few simple joys he allowed himself, and could probably make them blindfolded in a stranger's kitchen.

While Owen didn't really have access to most sweet things during is human years, he did manage to occasionally tap maple syrup from a few maple trees planted years ago by some long forgotten expedition or another. He would dip the stale bread some more 'tolerant' townsfolk were willing to toss his way in the syrup, and although he's only been able to make it a few times, it quickly became his favourite food. It just tasted so...warm? comforting? homely? Some strange emotion he couldn't quite name in himself, anyway. Or maybe it was just the fact that he had a deadly sweet tooth, and one that he very rarely got to satisfy before he was turned.

Louis's mother always made a stew every Sunday night, filled with the week's leftovers. He, being an eight year old with a...questionable taste palette, to say the least, would sprinkle the stew with copious amounts of sugar, to literally everyone around him's object horror. Nowadays, having survived off of blood for the vast majority of his life, he's barely clinging to the faded memory of the taste of the far, far too sweet stew.

Anyway, that's all for now! Trustbites are currently living in the penthouse apartment of my brain rent free, and I just remembered how much I love making random headcanons, so here yall go ^-^

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Vampires SMP beach episode headcanons:

Because nothing bad ever happens at the beach guys trust

Scott absolutely dragged out his old black and red umbrella to act as a parasol for him and Shelby (he was going to hoard it for himself, but Shelby started complaining about her skin burning in the sun, and he couldn't bring himself to say no to that face.)

Martyn was the first one in the water, and refused to stop splashing literally everyone in a five foot radius the whole time

Drift spent the batter part of half an hour trying to convince Avid to go swimming, or even just leave the patch of sand he had claimed as his own (surrounded by a circle of salt, of course.) Eventually, she just picked him up and dumped him in the ocean, which he did stop and admit was quite nice, once he stopped screaming.

Owen and Legs built a sandcastle.

that's it that's the entire heacanon.

Sausage and Shelby co-wrote fanfiction together on the beach, and may or may not have been kicking their legs and giggling at one point at a particularly adorable meet-cute scene.

Abolish spent the whole day refusing to remove a single piece of his suit, even as the sun was blaring down on them at midday. Jacket? Tie? The White Gloves?? it all stays on.

Cleo and Apo buried Ren in sand, who seemed incredibly accepting of the whole ordeal. So much so, in fact, that he fell asleep while Apo and Cleo went swimming, and the group nearly forgot about him as they were leaving. It took Abolish and Avid 10 minutes to dig him out properly (Cleo and Apo were very efficient with their burying.)

Pyro brings sunglasses to try and keep some of the sun off his skin, but all he ends up doing is giving himself a really bad glasses-shaped sunburn line that everyone makes fun of on the way home. At least he doesn't have to see himself in a mirror.

And nothing bad ever happens in Oakhurst ever again. Episode 6? Never heard of her.

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Can they cook? Mechanisms Edition

Jonny D'ville: ...he can cook whiskey. in the microwave. in a plastic bowl. does that count? Answer: Banned from the Aurora's kitchens for life.

Gunpoweder Tim: Yes if you don't mind the cannibalism. Answer: 'thank your lucky stars that taste so good' yeah no i'm good.

Raphella la Cognizi: Yes but there's a 60% chance mixed some random Bactria she discovered on an utterly abandoned planet into the soup and is actively documenting your reaction. For Science. Answer: if you think man-eating Pathogens add some flavour to the garlic bread, sure.

Ashes O'Riley: Finally, a somewhat sensible one - NO YOU CANNOT EAT FIRE. DO NOT POUR A CAN OF GASOLINE DOWN YOUR THROAT. WHY ARE YOU LIGHTNING A MATCH?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FLAMES TASTE GOOD? Answer: Someone please tell them that arson is not a balanced diet.

Marius von Raum: Yes, actually. It's surprisingly good, as well. The only problem is that he insists on practising his violin while he's cooking, because he's 'a great multitasker' and 'its called being productive, Gunpowder, maybe you haven't heard the term before?' And it's all going well for the first few minutes, but then he drops his rosin into the sauce, and the violin makes that horrible squeaking sound when you hit a string wrong whenever he burns himself trying to reach over to stove to turn the page in his music book. Answer: The food will taste amazing but is it worth the eardrums of anyone whose in the neighbouring room while he's cooking/practising/playing notes not even immortal space pirates should have to bear witness to?

Ivy Alexandria: It starts off promising, but then she notices someone left a book on the counter, where it was in grave danger of being damaged by a spilt drink or a stray bullet (of which there are many on the Aurora.) She goes to carefully pick it up, and, of course, she must flick through the pages to see if any of them have been tore, or worse, dog-eared, and, oh, this is really quite fascinating, isn't it? Maybe she'll just finish this page...and, well, one more chapter couldn't hurt, could it? By the time she gets halfway through the book, the meal is quite sufficiently burned, and as she finished the epilogue and closes the cover with a satisfying thud, all that remains of what she was trying to cook is a pile of charred ashes in a pot. Answer: She could cook well enough, but you'd have to toss all the books on the ship out the airlock, first, and that would incite a massacre so large and so long that a sun in the solar system over would explode and trap them in an endless death loop before her rage and bloodlust was satisfied.

Drumbot Brian: Otherwise known as 'the only damn reason the crew doesn't just let themselves starve to death every few days and re-awaken perfectly full and let the cycle repeat so they don't have to go through the arduous ordeal of cooking every once in a while.' Answer: Yes, just don't insult his food when he's on EJM mode. You don't want to know what happens then.

Nastya Rasputina: ...at least she's better than Jonny. Actually, no, wait, I take it back. At least Jonny takes the time to heat up his food (even if that food is whiskey.) Nastya just shoves whatever passably edible thing is closest into her mouth and goes back to working on the engines. She's the kinda person to make a mug of tea, forget about it until its cold, reheat it, and forget about it again until its been sitting in a dusty corner of the floor for three days, upon which she cheerfully chugs it in less than 20 seconds. Answer: Thank goodness she's immortal, or else the motor oil coating literally every snack she puts down on a table in the engine room would've permanently killed her faster than the cold, dark air of space did.

The Toy Solider: It's...trying its best. Answer: yes, if you look past the crunch in the omelette from the eggshells it added.

Hello fellow mechanisms fans. it's been a while, but I always knew this hyperfixation would come drag me back into its clutches kicking and screaming. Enjoy these headcanons as I go listen to Gunpowder Tim Vs. The Moon Kaiser for the seventh time today.

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Headcanon:

Legundo actually joined the military cause he wanted to be a bugler (the guy in the army who plays the trumpet to wake everyone up) but his playing was so incredibly annoying that his commanding officer very nicely suggested he becomes a field medic instead.

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Vsmp headcanon:

Abolish's organisation has those corporate blood donation days every month or so, but instead of it being for a hospital, it goes to the vampires that work for the organisation. You get a cookie for donating.

[all-the-hyper-fixations]

Vampires SMP College AU headcanons:

Part three baby I'm sleep deprived and have no idea how the american education system works !!

On one very historic occasion, all 14 of them made an impromptu midnight run to 7/11 for very important and totally definitely necessary snacks

It all started when Apo and Drift pulling an all-nighter to study for a midterm exam that they may or may not have both forgotten about until last minute (in their defence, you can't possibly expect them to remember something as trivial as a future-deciding exam while Truffle needed to be shown a vitally important documentary about the lives of famous pet pigs, okay?)

After a few hours of reluctant productivity, they decided a snack break was in order. Unfortunately for them, upon opening their cabinets, they realised that between them, they had half a box of stale animal crackers and a bottle of cheap hot sauce between them.

So, naturally, the only logical solution was to make a 2am trip out to the closest store to the college campus, which just so happened to be a 7/11

As the two were getting ready to leave, they stepped out into the hallway, only to be met with a half-awake Abolish, clutching a mug of coffee that had gone cold approximately four hours ago. He didn't say anything, just wordlessly nodded his approval at their plan and started walking out after them.

On the way out, Abolish tripped on the carpet outside of Scott's dorm, and slammed into their door in his barely conscious state, which is how Scott and Shelby ended up joining their group. Shelby insisted they make it a proper outing, and ran up to knock on Owen's door. To absolutely no one surprise, Legs was in there too (the bed was entirely taken up by his medical textbooks and practice exams, with Owen perched on the very edge, watching some random netflix film on his laptop) (although, Shelby doubled he was paying much attention to the movie with Legs next to him)

Owen managed to convince Legs to come with the others for a change of scenery, as he heavily suspected he had been staring at the same page of his textbook for 10 minutes now.

Drift split off from the group to open her dorm to find a sheepish Avid, who had promised her that he was going to bed three hours before.

Just then, a very angry looking Cleo marched out into the hallway, followed by a sleepy Pearl, who was holding a stuffed wolf (who was later introduced to the group as Tilly, Pearl's best friend since childhood.) The group's chatter had woken up Pearl (no one wanted to ask how she could hear them from all the way on the other end of the hallway, and through at least three doors.) Now that their sleep was interrupted, Cleo said, they might as well get some sugar and slushies into them.

And that's how Apo, Drift, Shelby, Scott, Owen, Legs, Abolish, Cleo, Pearl, Martyn, Avid, and Sausage all ended up piling into Drift's van at 2am on a Wednesday night (technically morning, but none of them wanted to think about that)

By the end of it, several litres worth of slushies had been chugged, almost half of which had been by Pyro, they collectively had enough candy to last them until next month (or, with the way things were going, at least a few more days), and they managed to lose Legs and Owen in the maze of florescent shelves on three separate occasions.

It wasn't until they were halfway back to campus that they realized they had forgotten Avid in the store's parking lot.