#ltot

[jumilost]

gucci again (yes the shipname not a cover for the brand)

i solemnly swear to post all my oc art, just let summer vacation roll up, art school is suffrage, truly.

thankfully i graduate next year can you imagine?

[yslglasses]

dude, i can’t wait to see louis’ stage be covered in pride flags

[jumilost]

some oc intros for a server i have with friends, the gist of it is time traveling train catching people like strays, arete’s just a side character from sparta though but the other two are on the train, it makes stops at a bunch of eras, awesome? awesome

[yslglasses]

ya’ll,,,,,louis singing dlibyh while wrapped in a pride flag,,,,

[bittergloss]

I think you're absolutely right! In the 1st life, mu ze was in control, calm, and arrogant. By the time he was king, he was incredibly conceited and believed he didn't need anyone--not his wife nor brother--since he was in the surpreme power position. In the 2nd life, he was constantly undermined by lu anran (and indirectly by mu chuan), didn't have full political support, so he was desperate, vulnerable, unhinged. Because of that, I think he went through more self-reflection--such as when mu chuan broke their ties first. That would've been unimaginable in the 1st life! But because mu chuan did something so monumental so early in mu ze's career and life, he definitely was affected more. So it made sense to me that mu ze was slightly different in the 2nd life 🥺

totally. his 1st life was comparatively smooth sailing while he actually had to experience failure in his 2nd and i think mu chuan's presence also served as support and filled the space for that familial comfort and affection he craved whenever things didn't go his way which added to his vulnerability like you said.

also i think bc they basically ff thru the first life so i get why some dynamics (other than an ran and mu ze) in the 1st life came across kind of blurry. like i was genuinely surprised when i got the full scope of mu ze and mu chuan's relationship in the 2nd life cos i assumed mu chuan was just a casual non threatening nomadic brother which was why mu ze was so cool with him i was NOT expecting bonding over trauma levels of intensity to their relationship lol.

[bittergloss]

what’s interesting to me in lost track of time is that it’s not really a revenge story (even though that’s how a lot of people describe it). an ran is betrayed by people she loved in her first life but her second life is dedicated to protecting and preventing her family from falling into the same traps of her first life. she is horrified she is devasted she is enraged but she never actively sets out with revenge in mind on the people who wronged her. she tries to prevent tragedies from happening with the knowledge of her past life and makes sure the people who are involved get their deserved punishment.

the concubine dies as punishment for poisoning her mother and trying to poison her, but as a result the brother she loves loses his mother. her sister loses her dignity and goes insane and while there is no love lost between them, she feels sorry for her state (like her dad said, killing her sister in retaliation would have been less cruel). she uses xiao jing que (and her brother) in her plans for mu ze only to see her put in the same tragic position that an ran was in her first life. and the thing is these, despite manipulation from an ran, these  people are all still one way or another active architects of the way their lives turn out and their miserable endings.

even her grand plan in the first arc is to remove her family from the struggle between the royal family (bonus: and then lead a happy life with mucheng and her surviving family) and not about getting revenge on mu ze like i expected it to be ( although, she does partly achieve this). which, to me is sooo compelling bc it poses a rly interesting question: do you punish ppl for their choices and the sins they commit, that TO THEM is, in an unlived, unknown life? like, a lot of the generic revenge based time travel novels and webtoons make a point abt their heroines/heroes going back in time to put in place plans to ruin the people who betray and kill them. it’s simple, easy to digest and provides catharsis for the main characters and readers but i think something this format doesn’t do most of the time is anticipate the idea of free will. it literally traps these characters in their character descriptions and predestined fictional fates. they’re stuck in these stories where they have no choice but to, either, as the protagonist go through trauma that hopefully leads to a happy/satisfying ending where everyone that hurts them suffers OR as the antagonist(s), in the end, pay for the hurt they caused the protagonist (that time loop article that mentioned the never-ending [horror] time loop of characters stuck in a story that have to go through the same fate every time you reread it!!). either way no one is left unscathed and can reach the end without suffering.

 lost track of time does this too, in fact, its main theme is that you can’t run away from fate. kind of loosely translating here but in the drama’s own words, “if you block a free flowing body of water it will just find another opening to burst out of” i.e. whatever is meant to happen, will happen (generally used in a more positive, encouraging sense is used in a more tragic sense here actually). the antagonists are given more depth in the second life, they are given space to desire, fail, lament, bathe in regret etc. etc. but none of them are allowed to evolve in a way that changes their ending, none of them magically change their ways, none of them get redemption arcs. every consequence the antagonists face, is a direct and sometimes indirect result of their actions in THIS life. in lost track of time however, an ran does not delight in her “revenge” but neither does she feel guilt in using those ppl for whatever purpose. rather, its the resulting events that affect/haunt her.

and i think that’s a huge part of why lost track of time feels all the more depressing and suffocating. an ran ultimately does not enjoy the catharsis of revenge. it’s necessary (not for personal satisfaction!! but for the bigger picture) but it exhausts her. every time she sees someone who wronged her in her past life suffer a miserable fate, it’s like you can see a part of her wither away. like i said at the beginning, it feels wrong to even call this her revenge. is she angry? yes. but she isn’t consumed by her hatred imo (like the drama even made her say at one point which i don’t agree with btw). she has no choice! like she says, it’s like whatever fictional god of lost track of time is putting her through a divine trial. when she tries to take a step back for happiness, she’s dragged unwillingly right back into the middle of loss and pain. it‘s so fucked up that she’s basically being FORCED to take revenge, but she will also suffer for it (what the fuck. what the fuck lol).

[bittergloss]

I'm laughing so hard at your thoughts about mu ze and lost track of time 😂 I'm not at their wedding yet since I'm waiting for tencent to release their eps each day but just hearing about how mu ze WANTS them to live a good life after marriage.......he is SO funny. My dude, you literally blackmail her??? Lmao. How are you gonna come back from that 🤣 he is so entertaining to watch 😂

no the wedding happens and he immediately flips his switch like he thought they were gonna be all romantic and happy now despite their history and her essentially having no other choice but to marry him like no self awareness detected here

and this could be a spoiler since u haven’t gotten to their wedding yet but the gall to want more than just her being a shell of herself! he rly thought marriage would be the magic band aid to their relationship. AND IT DOESN’T EVEN END THERE her rejection leading him to go to his main wife on their wedding night and basically giving her permission to make an ran as the concubine “learn her place”  bc he expects her to cave from whatever torture she’s put thru and submit to him eventually as her only sanctuary like sir u are so messed up in the head.

[bittergloss]

my god this is so fucked up