daevabad characters as John Mulaney quotes
Ali: When I'm walking down the street, I don't think anyone goes, "Hey, look at that man." They're like, "wow! That tall child looks terrible!"
Zaynab: Some people give off a vibe, right away, of "Don't fuck with me".
Jamshid: My vibe is more like, "You could pour hot soup in my lap and I'd probably apologize to you."
Muntadhir: I'm sorry, it's just that I'm mean and loud. It will probably happen again.
Nahri: 'Cause you know how you lie to your parents?
Dara: I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing.
[about] Ghassan: So my dad pulls up to the drive thru window and orders a single black coffee. The one thing that no child can enjoy.
Kaveh: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
Manizheh: And then I said, "No". You know, like a liar.
Lubayd: You know when you're having one of those days where you're like, this might as well happen? Adult life is already so goddamn weird.
Aqisa: Hi, I'm very gay and I'd like a few dollars.
Hatset: You're never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy.
Nisreen: I try to stay optimistic, but I admit, things are getting pretty sticky.
Vizaresh: Eat ass, suck dick, and sell drugs.