lukecastell4n: easiest question to ask, hardest wait of my life. isn’t that such a funny thing? five star, something in my bones told me that my life would forever be changed when you walked into it. little did i know the biggest change would be me. i am a better person because of you. your love for the people you hold close reminds me that good things do happen in the world. and selfishly, reminds me that i’m worthy of experiencing those good things, too.
thanks for saying yes. thanks for all the laughs. thanks for all the kisses. thanks for all the memories. thanks for being by my side all these years; but most importantly, thanks for allowing me the honor to be by yours. i love you endlessly.
silenabeauregard: OH IM SO SOFTTTT. congratulations to you both! 🥹
travisstoll: YES! congrats! welcome to the poisoned mercury fam officially yn_yln
connorstoll: HUGE! CONGRATS LUKE AND YN
poisonedmercury: congratulations to the happy couple!
olympusrecords: congrats to you both!
yn_yln: my fiancée 🫶🏼 i love you.
lukecastell4n: my fiancée 🙂↕️ i love the sound of that almost as much as i love you.
creator limited comments on this post.
tagged lukecastell4n.
yn_yln: still doesn’t feel real, but that’s a pretty normal feeling when i’m with you. sometimes i still have to pinch myself because you and our love feels like something out of the movies. i’ll forever be in love with you.
p.s this was the easiest yes of my life.
clarisselarue: MY BEST FRIEND IS ENGAGED IM IN ACTUAL TEARS
silenabeauregard: YOU AND ME BOTH SISTER
clarisselarue: lukecastell4n don’t get it twisted im still her #1 love. i was here first
yn_yln: well yes!
lukecastell4n: yn_yln who got u the ring tho 🥱
yn_yln: lukecastell4n fair play
travisstoll: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
connorstoll: THE ANNOUNCEMENT WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR CONGRATULATIONS GUYS!!
chrisr0driguez: congratulations! can’t picture two people more perfect for each other than the two of u
dionysus_produces: congratulations, kid! when i see u next i’ll reenact how nervous luke was when he asked for my blessing
lukecastell4n: mr. d u promised that would stay between us
dionysus_produces: well…. welcome to the family kid 😉
clarisselarue posted a story!
my best friend is getting married! it feels like yesterday when we were roomies at unc, giddy over our new boyfriends. i am so so happy for you.
tagged yn_yln.
yn_yln replied to this story!
yn_yln: thank you clar. i love you so much. i can’t believe this is happening
clarisselarue: girl bffr
clarisselarue: there is no universe that exists in which the two of you don’t get married and live happily ever after
clarisselarue: it was inevitable that he asked!!!!
yn_yln: 🥹🥹
yn_yln: WAIT I JUST REALIZED WE GET TO WEDDING PLAN TOGETHER?!?
clarisselarue: SHUT UO UR SO RIGHT.
clarisselarue: oh wow our fiancées are about to get soooo sick of us
yn_yln: oh well 🤷🏻♀️
yn_yln: no take backs
liked by clarisselarue.
chrisr0driguez posted a story!
welcome to the engaged club, my brother! glad to have you here.
tagged lukecastell4n.
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: my best man 🤝
chrisr0driguez: my best man 🤝
yn_yln posted a story!
luke surprised me with our favorite people after our engagement 🥹 i’m so lucky.
tagged lukecastell4n.
mama_c replied to this story!
mama_c: congratulations to you both! i couldn’t ask for a better daughter in law. so glad i got to be there with you two tonight. xx love you both so much.
yn_yln: thank you, mama c! i love you!
silenabeauregard replied to this story!
silenabeauregard: you are so so so loved, angel girl. thank you for having me and charlie join on your special day!!!
yn_yln: lena please 😭 ur one of my bridesmaids
yn_yln: u will get an official ask soon
yn_yln: there’s no way luke wouldn’t have told u and charlie about this. he knows how much i love u guys
silenabeauregard: stop i’ve already cried so much
silenabeauregard: i love you!!!!
dionysus_produces replied to this story!
dionysus_produces: congratulations again, kid. me and your mom are so happy for you.
yn_yln: thanks for flying out to be here, dad. it means a lot. i love you guys.
dionysus_produces: as if i’d miss this. i love you too, sweetheart.
lukecastell4n replied to this story!
lukecastell4n: i cannot wait to marry you
yn_yln: mrs. castellan has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
Inspired by the Katy Perry song (if you couldn't tell -_-). Feedback appreciated :D
1. Summer after high-school when we first met
You woke up with an ache in your head and the sharp smell of antiseptic. Sunlight from an open window hit your eyes, causing you to shield them with your hand. Memories of your mom's car driving at a neck breaking speed, weird birds with golden beaks and the revelation of your fellow classmate being a half goat hit you as you sat up in bed.
Someone grabbed your arm, and you recoiled form the contact.
A voice coming from somewhere on your left said, "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you."
You turned to face the voice. "That's something someone who's gonna hurt me would say."
You looked over, only to see a boy with bright blue eyes, wearing scrubs. He looked way too young to be in them.
"Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, a place for demigods. You-"
"Sorry to interrupt, but i know. Mum gave me the basics before I came here."
You got up, slowly blinking at your surroundings. You were in an infirmary filled with empty beds, except for one, occupied with a scowling girl. Another guy, who looked similar to the one next to you, seemed to be scolding her about something.
You stretch your arms above your head and let out a sigh. After being given a small rundown of how things worked, you left the infirmary and stepped out into the blazing sun. Around you camp bustled with life.
Kids of all ages--from young middle schoolers to people who looked like they belonged in college--rushed from one place to the other. Some stood in small groups, talking and laughing loudly. Golden weapons glinted in the sunlight from where they were kept. As you explore the camp, you saw fellow demigods practicing archery, engaging in sword fights and even participating in hand-to-hand combat.
Amidst the lively crowd, a figure stood out--a young man with striking features that seemed to effortlessly draw the gaze of onlookers. A sense of charm and grace seemed to surround him as he made his way through the crowd. With each step, his presence seemed to command attention, turning heads and causing whispers to emerge.
You saw quite a few people stop whatever they were doing when they saw him coming. Some girls let out high giggles. You watched the people part around him....till you realised he was walking toward you.
You quickly tried to hide the fact that you were staring, but unluckily, he noticed. A blush rose up your throat as you desperately tried to play it cool.
"Hey, I'm Luke", he said extending a hand toward you.
"(Name)."
***
2. We made out in your mustang to Radiohead
"Luke"
Kiss
"Luke-"
"I love you, but please shut up (name)."
You laughed as his lips met yours again.
Both of you had sneaked into one of the camp vans after lunch. Both of you had blown off camp duties. Luke had bribed Chris to teach a few sword fighting lessons, and you practically begged Michael to take your shift at the infirmary.
And now, after a week of not seeing Luke, you finally had your boyfriend all to yourself.
It still felt weird, calling him that. You had been a couple for only two months-despite the fact that you had been friends since the moment you stepped into camp-and you could still remember the moment when it happened.
Both of you laid on a blanket near the lake. Like had planned a picnic for just the two of you, and your nerves couldn't settle no matter how hard you tried. He was right next to you. Right there.
He had been doing things and planning cute little dates like this for quite sometime now, which often left you wondering if there was any meaning behind them, other than being friendly.
Your nervousness still wouldn't leave you, so you began pointing out various constellations in the night sky. "That's Hercules, and there's Ursa Major, and thats-" you turned to look at him, only to see his gaze already on you. If heart eyes were a real thing, that was probably the best way to describe the way he looked at you.
You stopped speaking and both of you just stared at each other. You didn't know who moved first, you or Luke. All you knew was that one moment he was next to you, and the other his lips were upon yours.
He pulled back a second later, an apology already leaving his mouth when you grabbed his shirt collar and kissed him again. He moved above you and rested his hands on your waist. Yours wove into his curls.
When you finally broke apart, he smiled. You laughed at that, and his smile got a little brighter.
The memory brought a smile on your face, and Luke noticed.
"What's on your mind, sunshine?"
The nickname caused a flush to rise on your face. "Thinkin' bout you."
"Oh really?"
"Mhmm."
He kissed the corner of you lips, before moving down your neck. You let out a content sigh and drew mindless patterns on the back of his shirt with your finger.
Just then somebody knocked on the van door.
"Guys, you might wanna hurry this up. Chiron's looking for the two of you."
***
3. And on my 18th birthday, we got matching tattoos
You stifled a laugh as you watched your boyfriend trip over a tree root because he was too busy looking at you.
His face held an expression on mock hurt as you grinned at his fall. You reached an arm out to help him up, and he took it, only to pull you down with him.
You landed on top of him, and winced. A wave of pain shot up from your upper arm, where underneath your shirt lay a brand new tattoo. Luke noticed your discomfort and moved. He also got one, but his was on his chest.
He lifted your shirt and pressed a soft kiss to the design. "Does that make it better, birthday girl?"
The corner of your mouth lifted. "Much better."
In honour of your 18th birthday today, the two of your snuck out of camp to get matching tattoos, something you always wanted. Now after successfully sneaking out of camp, reaching a tattoo parlor with running into trouble, getting a tattoo, and sneaking back into camp, you were on your way back to your respective cabins.
You looked at your watch. "Actually, my birthday ended, like two and a half hours ago."
"That doesn't count."
"I'm pretty sure it does.....We should get back, Luke. Someone might notice."
"Let them." He kissed you, making tremors run up and down your spine.
***
4. Used to steal you parents liquor, and climb to the roof. Talk about our future like we had a clue
The cheap whiskey burned as you downed it in one go. Luke watched you with amusement.
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing." He had that stupid look on his face, the one that made you want to kiss it off. He poured you another glass and you brought it to your lips again.
Empty bottles of gods-know-what lay on the roof of cabin 1, with empty glasses scattered around them.
"It can't be nothing, Luke." Your words slurred together as the alcohol took effect. You would definitely be regretting these desicions in the morning, but for now, you reveled in drunken glory.
"Okay, okay, hear me out," he waved his hands dramatically. "We should buy a van when we leave camp. Like, a big one. And travel the world. Just you, me, and the open road."
You giggled, your cheeks flushed from the wine. "A van? We’d look ridiculous!"
"Exactly!" Luke laughed, leaning closer. "We’d be the coolest couple ever. Imagine it—waking up on a beach, cooking breakfast in the back of our van, and just… living."
You bit your lip, your heart swelling at the thought. "That does sound amazing. But what about monsters? Money? You can’t just live off love and good vibes."
"We’ll figure it out! We can be like those mortal influencers or something. Post pictures of our adventures, and people will pay us to travel!"
You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t help the smile creeping onto your face. "And what if no one wants to pay us? What then, Mr. Influencer?"
"Then we’ll just sell the van and live in a treehouse!" he declared, raising his glass in a toast. "To treehouses and adventures!"
"To treehouses and adventures!" You echoed, clinking your glass against his. The warmth of the whiskey and the excitement of your dreams made everything feel possible.
As the two of two sipped, you leaned your head on Luke’s shoulder, feeling safe and content. "You know, I really like this idea. Just us against the world. But… what if we don’t want to live in a van forever?"
Luke paused, considering your words. "Then we’ll find a home. A cozy little place with a garden. We can grow our own vegetables and have a dog. Maybe a cat too. We can name them… uh, what’s a good name?"
"Definitely not 'van'," you teased, nudging him playfully. "But I like that idea. A home."
"Exactly!" he said, his eyes lighting up. "We’ll make it happen, (name). I can feel it."
You sat in comfortable silence, both lost in thoughts and away from the worries that came with being a demigod.
***
5. Never thought that one day, I'll be losing you...
"I-what?" You couldn't believe what you heard. You didn't want to believe what you heard.
"The gods are terrible people (name)! Think about all those unclaimed campers in cabin 11! They don't care about us. They never did and never will!"
"Luke, I know. Trust me, I know. But what you are suggesting...thats-thats crazy! The gods aren't perfect but-" the titan lord's name died on your tongue"-he'll be so much worse!"
You paced around the forest, leaves crunching under your feet. Luke brought you there being extremely secretive. You thought he might have planned a cute date, but you never expected this.
"(Name), just listen." He begged. You never saw him like this before. He looked at you with such desperation ypu didn't have any choice other than to hear him out.
"I know you're hesitant, but the Olympians have had they're chances so many damn times! And look where its gotten us! They treat us like pawns in their games!
"But with the Titans." He paused, and a hint of pride seeped into his voice. "We can forge our own path. Imagine a place where you’re not just a demigod, but a force to be reckoned with. You’d have the chance to prove yourself, to rise up and be part of something greater than any of us." Luke's voice softened slightly, as if sharing a secret. "I believe in you. I know you have what it takes to join us. Together, we can make a difference—one that will echo through history. (Name), will you stand with me and fight for our future?" His gaze held yours, waiting for your response, the weight of the decision heavy in the air.
"I...." You didn't know what to say. Luke said everything with such confidence that for a moment--but only a moment--you believed him. Your choice was already made.
Your hands found your blade, the one hidden inside your pocket. One moment, you stood infront of him defenceless, and the other you had pinned him against a tree, you dagger at his throat.
"Luke, please. You don't have to do this." Tears stung your eyes, but you didn't let them fall.
Luke's eyes hardened. "You know, Percy said the same thing."
Your eyes widened is shock. "Luke...what did you do?"
"He's near the creek. You should hurry, he doesn't have much time."
This time ypu couldn't stop your tears. A few escaped your eyes as you turned in the direction of the creek, leaving Luke Castellan to his fate. Whatever it would be.
Chapter 12 - Heartbeat (Act 1): Though they've now acknowledged that they need a real drummer, the boys try to keep up their regular practice schedules, determined to score their first actual live show. Calum shares his poetry. Michael plans his sweet sixteen. Luke looks in the mirror and sees someone else's face.
•••
Hiii next chapter is up its from Lukes perspective! Slight sexual content in this one as Luke is having fantasies but its not too too explicit and easy to skip if yall want i hope u like!!!
hii! could i request a luke skywalker and reader (if you write for him) where they "rescue" grogu together and one of the dark troopers hurt her and he heals her and dotes over her?? just really cute? maybe she falls asleep on him and he carries her to her bed and she asks him to stay, they wake up cuddling and maybe a confession too??? totally fine if you dont write forhim but thanks!!!
counting on you | luke skywalker
pairing: luke x jedi!reader
word count: 2,5k
summary: where luke and y/n rescue grogu, but y/n gets hurt
a/n: i hope it's alright that i changed it up a bit, i went with the flow~ and thank you for always providing me with star wars requests <33
warnings: angst, violence, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, force healing
universe: star wars
A spooky stillness reigns on the giant light cruiser, even the dark troopers pause for a moment. Even though you sneak around, the droids’ sensors pick up your presence with ease. The silence vanishes just as quickly as it appeared as the troopers line up their blasters and start firing at you.
Your years of training have specialized you for these kinds of moments, which is why it is not difficult for you to take out the droids one by one with a targeted and well-considered movement of your glowing blade. You decapitate one of them, the heavy head banging on the hard floor, while another one sneaks up on you from behind. As a result of its actions, a green lightsaber is rammed through its upper body from behind in the next second. The red light behind the lifeless eyes extinguishes and the droid collapses, smoke emanating from the inside.
Quickly, you raise your own lightsaber in front of your body, allowing you to deflect the blaster fire from the dark troopers who have not yet fallen. Again and again, you block their attacks and direct the dangerous projectiles in the other direction. Shortly, you catch a glimpse of one of the surveillance cameras mounted in the upper corner of the ceiling before it is destroyed by a deflected shot.
You know you are being watched.
Together and as a team, it does not take long until you have fought your way through the entire cruiser, through almost all enemy troops, and are now close to your final destination. The Force that called you here is incredibly strong, even stronger than you expected. And you can clearly feel it.
“Y/N!”, your name echoes through the battle as you pound one of the troopers against the wall with a flying ammo box, crushing it motionless. “This way.”
Disposing of your last opponent by severing its mechanical arms and legs, you extinguish your lightsaber blade and follow Luke into an elevator, adjusting the hood of your cloak that has slightly slipped during combat. You stand closely next to him, breathing heavily and trying to control your breathing, while the fight did not bother Luke at all. Which is pretty unfair considering how many dark troopers he took out on his own.
“Did you count?”, is the only thing Luke asks you, his gaze fixed ahead, his hand on the hilt of his lightsaber. Nodding, you answer his question, and a small smile pulls at the corner of your lips. You can’t fully reply, however, when the elevator abruptly stops on the selected floor and the doors hiss open.
As if in slow motion, Luke steps out first, the green blade already lit again, and faces the crowd of dark troopers who have just been waiting for the both of you. Immediately, Luke deflects and dodges each trooper’s blaster shots, severing the first of them in two. Startled, you take a step back all of a sudden, not knowing exactly what made you do it, the adrenaline dulling all your senses.
Moving quickly, closely behind Luke, you also take out a dark trooper who has gotten a little to close for your liking. You use the Force to pull one of them towards you, but do not manage to pull him as close as you originally intended, which surprises you once again. Luke does not realize, however, as he swipes his green lightsaber across the trooper from top to the bottom. The next one he pushes backwards with a boost of the Force.
Thrilled and exhausted, you watch as he effectively crushes the very last enemy with the Force in a matter of seconds with a tiny flick of his hand, an action that only makes you realize just how powerful Luke really is.
You still have a lot to learn.
Now, you stand alone in front of the locked blast door that protects those you came here for. A deep indentation in the door indicates that you got here just in time.
As you stagger, preparing to open the thick door with your lightsaber, it already hisses to the side on its own, opening up a view of the bridge. The sliding doors reveal, even though blurry, a group of the most diverse inhabitants of the galaxy: bounty hunters, Mandalorians, Imperials, and…
“Are you Jedi?”, the Mandalorian in shining silver armor asks after you have removed your hoods and revealed your faces upon entering.
“We are”, Luke replies calmly, his eyes shifting to the left toward the small green figure hiding behind the back of a chair. You watch as Luke reaches out to the Force-sensitive child and asks him to come along. His words ring in your head from afar, as if he weren’t standing right next to you.
You can tell from the Mandalorian’s movement that they are still talking, but their conversation is drowned out by a loud and uncomfortable beeping in your ear. When a sudden rush of pain shoots through you all of a sudden, you wince and take another step back, as if something invisible hit you out of nowhere.
Instinctively, your hand grabs your side and when it comes into contact with your skin you can’t help but cry out in pain. The moment you look down at yourself and there is dark blood all over your hand, your blood, the realization hits you roughly.
You weren’t hit by something invisible. Unnoticedly, you were hit by a blaster shot, one that neither Luke nor you were able to deflect after stepping out of the elevator. This also explains why you staggered all of a sudden, why you were suddenly unconcentrated and could no longer properly recognize the figures in front of you, why you are now on the fastest way to the hard, cold ground.
If it weren’t for Luke, who catches you in one swift movement and slowly slides you to the ground, his hands tightly wrapped around your body, you would have hit your head. You do not want to seem weak, especially not in front of him, which is probably why you have been subconsciously suppressing the pain all along. However, you are wounded more severely than you thought, at least judging by the expression on Luke’s face after he took a closer look at your bleeding wound.
Perplexed and no longer able to fully comprehend what is happening around you, your vision only gets clear for short intervals. At first, you recognize several silhouettes looking at you, including the tiny green creature, while the next moment you hear R2-D2’s worried squeak. Then you are blinded by a bright light before feeling severe pain that suddenly vanishes again and then, out of nowhere, an X-Wing appears in front of you. Before you know it, you are in the endless vastness of space and then you slip into pure darkness.
When you can open your eyes properly for the first time after what feels like hours of being unconscious, even though your head is still constantly buzzing, it takes you a moment to find your way back to the here and now. A brown wall made of some kind of fabric reveals in front of you and you realize that you are lying on a makeshift bamboo bed, your jedi robe on top of you, turned into a blanket. Outside of what appears to be a tent you hear the soft cracking of a fire that casts eerie shadows on the tent wall. Unable to hear any other sounds, you quickly want to get up and search for Luke as the fear coursing through you due to his absence is quickly replaced by pain.
Groaning, you touch the familiar spot, where you were hit by blaster fire not too long ago, with your hand. Now, there is a large bacta patch attached to your skin, covering and protecting the wound. Slowly but surely acquainting yourself with your new immobility, you crawl to the entrance of the makeshift tent and pull the fabric that works as a door aside.
The light of the flames blinds you for a brief moment, but at the same time greets you with a pleasant warmth immediately.
“Y/N! You are awake”, Luke says, visibly glad as he quickly gets up from his cross-legged position next to the fire and rushes to you, dropping to the ground next to you while putting a safe arm around your shoulders. His other hand he places on your cheek and his eyes search your face for cluses as to how you are doing.
“I- Where are we?”, you ask in amazement, not being able to clearly see where you are even when you take a look at your surroundings. All you can recognize is that you are hidden in some forest in the galaxy. Your train of thought is interrupted, however, when a childlike cooing sounds next to you. You are shocked to find that the little green creature has come along this journey with you.
“May I introduce you, this is Grogu”, Luke introduces the two of you, and Grogu coos at the mention of his name, ears pricked. “Grogu, this is Y/N.”
Grogu’s little green hand touches your leg, seemingly his own way of greeting you, causing you to briefly giggle. You have to stop yourself, however, as the excruciating pain washes over you once more.
“I don’t know how it happened! I deflected all the shots, but this one must have escaped me and got you straight”, Luke chatters away, the guilt clearly written on his face. “The medical bay on this damn cruiser had hardly any equipment, so I could only put a bacta patch on the wound. I hope-”
“Luke”, you interrupt him gently, putting your hand on the side of his face now in order to force him to look directly at you. “It’s fine, I’m fine. It only hurts a little when I move. Or breathe.”
Luke immediately takes a breath in, ready to interject once more, presumably to tell you to lie down, but this time he remains silent as you pull his face towards you and bring your lips together in a gentle kiss. You don’t know what exactly made you do it, maybe it is the adrenaline that is still rushing through your veins, or it just felt right in that exact moment, here and now. Whatever it was, here you are, kissing Luke Skywalker and he seems to agree, actually deepening the kiss while leaning his torso more over your body, running his hand down the sides of your body, the side that is not injured. Wait a minute..
With a sudden jerk you promptly move away from Luke and look down at yourself, startled, examining the bacta patch that is still in place. However, the painful tug you felt when moving suddenly disappeared. Puzzled and not quite understanding what happened, Luke also looks at your wound, immediately grabbing your hand when you start to remove the patch, trying to prevent you from doing so.
“Y/N-”
“Wait, wait. It.. doesn’t hurt anymore”, you brush him off and he lets you remove the patch. Together you draw in a sharp breath at the same time as the bacta patch reveals your shining skin, no traces of a wound left. As if it never even existed.
“What..”, both of you start, when Grogu, who has settled down right next to you in the meantime, answers with a coo, stretching out one of his tiny hands. At that exact moment the realization what this little guy apparently tries to tell you dawns upon you, and apparently also on Luke.
“No, no. That is absolutely impossible”, Luke immediately denies what you are both trying to comprehend at that moment, examining his own hands closely with wide eyes. He tries to understand that he healed you and did it with nothing but the Force itself.
“The sacred jedi texts say that-”
“Of course I just magically healed you with the Force and he tells me it’s what he always does”, Luke murmurs softly under his breath, causing you to look at him, placing Grogu on your lap while your heartbeat picks up again when you lock eyes with Luke. Questioningly, you stare at him, although you know exactly what he means. “I suppose now I will never have the courage to-”
“This is incredible!”, you yelp with delight, taking Grogu by surprise as the next moment he is stumbling backwards, R2 next to him beeping at you reproachfully as the protective brother he is. Happy and completely pain-free, you grab the little one and hold him in your arms so that he examines you with his huge eyes. Even though you know he can’t answer you or you wouldn’t understand since you don’t know how Luke is able to communicate with him, you smile at the little creature that reminds you of an old master while Luke still has to process the situation.
Which is more than fine with you, because that way he will not notice how fast your heart is beating after you have just kissed him out of nowhere.
“Courage for what?”, you interrupt him now, actually curious, but still a bit shy and reserved. The hope that he is triggering inside of you scares you. You weren’t even this scared when facing the dark troopers as you are in this moment. And Luke feels exactly the same.
“I- Well-”, Luke begins, but when he finds himself at a loss for the right words, he is the one leaning in and joining your lips in a soft kiss that you did not see coming at all. He gently moves his lips against yours and if you did not know better, you feel him smile against you every now and then.
Only when he breaks the kiss do you dare to take a deep breath in, although his face is still incredibly close in front of yours. His beautiful shining eyes light up at the sight of you, saying so much more than words ever could. Never again can you imagine living without that feeling inside of you, that mutual feeling of being loved feels so intoxicating.
R2-D2, who is currently talking to the child, does not seem to be bothered by the renewed awkward silence between the two of you. Rather, he takes this as an opportunity to beep even louder and tell one of his great stories.
“I-”, you try to start another conversation with Luke, who is still looking at you with so much affection that you could melt right there and then. Pulling yourself together, however, you slowly continue, emphasizing every single word: “By the way, I have eliminated fifteen dark troopers.”
There is a brief silence, and it almost looks as if Luke has stopped breathing for a second. But then he snorts loudly, and his beautiful laugh rings out to you. You can’t help but join his laughter until he abruptly stops and looks at you with all seriousness, his hand on your cheek and his thumb caressing your bottom lip.
Summary: Based on the song "Was I on Your Mind?" You find out something that compromises your paradise. Is a lie better than the truth?
Warnings: Angst. Mentions of cheating. Language. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I'm sorry)
Word Count: 2.9 k
Author's note: I really hope you like this one! Remember that REBLOGS are incredibly helpful as well as COMMENTS and INTERACTIONS. Please SUPPORT THE WRITERS. Hope you like it and happy reading 🦋✨🌻
My masterlist // tag list on bio!
The clouds hid the sun behind them, almost as if to protect it from what was about to happen. You knew it wouldn’t rain, the clouds and the pain were still new to the picture-perfect paradise you built for yourself, the rain would only make it all go away and let it start anew.
So the paradise is gloomy and cold even with the windows open to try and make it seem alive; prove that it hasn’t consumed you yet. Or maybe it was just denial, still.
You haven’t cried since you learned about it. Not a single tear as the dark hole that settled upon your heart grew wider and wider until every inch of you was covered in dark matter. You let the pain settle inside you until it became nothing. Till you felt nothing. You just gathered up your things - the ones you had at his place at least - and left without looking back, taking your paradise with you to see if you could ever fix it.
The keychain on the table felt empty without his key to adorn it. You took it out today and left it on his kitchen counter, releasing yourself from the house that was now forever tinted with broken glass memories, where you know they’re there but it’s hard to see them through the damage. It was the last piece you had of him. All the pictures framed and all of the gifts he showered you with are now tucked and hidden inside the box that was now laying next to your feet.
The clock said it was 7 a.m, yet your mind has been reeling since 2. With a sigh you walked toward the kitchen and put the kettle on, he must be on his way.
You knew he would come eventually, it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t at least try to make it right. That’s something you loved about him, how he’d never let you go to bed angry or without at least talking about what was making you mad that day. But the valiant prince could not save the princess this time, no words or acts of service could ever fix her broken heart, so she walked out of the castle through the back door without even facing the dragon.
The water started boiling the second the first rounds of knocks were heard all over your home. They were desperate, angry even. You imagined him standing at the other side, knuckles white as snow clashing against the wood over and over again, hurting him as they got louder accompanied by the sound of your name. You waited for the tea to be poured into the two mugs, the heat evolving your hands when you carried them back to the table and left them one in front of the other. Only then did you turn to the door.
The knocks stopped once he heard the click of the lock being opened. You prepared yourself for this moment, but it was still as painful as ever to remain calm once the door was swung open and he was standing at the other side.
He was leaning over the entrance with a hand balancing his weight at the side of the door. His lips were parted as he breathed heavily, chest rising and falling with every beat of his heart. You knew he mustn’t have slept, not with the way his hair swayed in different directions - but the eyes were the ones that told you everything. Those bright blue eyes that were now hidden under a cloud of tears and dark, hollowed bags under them that mirrored your own.
“Y/N…” He said quietly. Your name sounded foreign from his lips, like a spell or a curse “What’s this?”
You looked at the crumbled piece of paper he was holding, the one that had your handwriting and your last goodbye.
“What do you think, Luke?” You asked, turning around and walking back to your home, hearing how the door closed behind him.
“Why?!”
You sat down at the table, not reacting to his outburst or his demand. You just grabbed your mug of tea and took a sip without saying a word.
Luke, on the other hand, was starting to lose it. A curse slipped under his breath as he crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it somewhere across the room, huffing. His sudden ringless hand messed up his curls some more before he had the decency to sit down across the table from you, begging you for an answer.
“Why is the first thing I find when I come back from the desert your key and a piece of paper that says you’re leaving?”
‘From the desert’ he said, and you almost believed him. The new album made the guys take new approaches to their creative process, traveling for weeks to a secluded place in Joshua tree so that they can connect with the music in a more personal way. Yet, when he said it, it almost sounded like the truth.
You looked him in the eyes, silence striking both of you as you tried to decipher where was the man you fell in love with. Was he still there somewhere or should you start looking for the remaining pieces of your heart that he still held hostage on the empty vessel that he called love?
Now, every word felt like a new charade. A new lie. You wondered how many of those you believed were true.
Luke sighed, frustrated with the silence as he dropped his head in the cave of his palms.
“Y/N, I’m lost here!”
“I’m as lost as you”
You could tell that was not the answer he was hoping for. His eyes met yours as he frowned, not in anger but in confusion. Could he tell? Or did he actually have no clue?
“Baby-” He started, but you shook your head, tearing your eyes off of him “What’s wrong? Talk to me”
“I- I don’t think I can”
Silence. A silence that contrasted the yelling inside your mind, all the questions, and all the worries. The fears that will not be out in the open and the turning tables of the lies that you hoped were just as recent as your heartache.
For nights on end, you wondered what it would be like to see him again. If the emotions will finally overcome you once you are standing in front of those baby blue eyes. What front would you put? Could nothing be enough to let him know what you know? Or would you just stand there with open arms, pretend nothing is wrong and continue with your paradise with the windows closed, never opening them again for the fear of what is out there?
But there was nothing to wonder about anymore. Not when he’s sitting right in front of you, demanding answers you were so scared to even ask him in the first place. But nothing can allow fear anymore.
“I can’t talk to you anymore, Luke,” You said, ever so calm and quiet that the clock on the wall made louder tics “Because if I do I’m afraid I won’t like the answers”
“What are you talking about?”
“Luke, why haven’t you called me this past week that you were away?”
The words got stuck at the tip of his tongue, only a breath to witness the unsaid. He lowered his gaze, just for a moment, and you wondered if it was the shame of the lie that made him do it.
“You know there’s bad signal there, we are not in touch with anyone while we-”
“Have you asked yourself why I haven’t called you this past week?” You asked, feeling the words burn down your throat as you spoke “Or maybe you didn’t even notice”
He said nothing.
“You want to know what I was doing this week instead of calling?” You asked, hands wrapped around the mug that was slowly losing its heat “I started to pack up, slowly. All the things that were in your house that belonged to me are now back here somewhere. I took my time knowing you won’t be back, I fed Petunia like you asked me to and took her on walks. I watered the plants and cleaned what needed to be cleaned. But with every passing day, I started to disappear from your world and you didn’t even notice. Not even a text”
“But… why?”
“I don’t know, I hope you could give me the answer”
Luke huffed and rolled his eyes.
“What the fuck do you want me to say?” He asked “I’m blindsided! Yes, I fucked up about not calling and shit, but fuck! Y/N, you can’t just take your things and leave without at least giving me-”
“I’ve seen the pictures, Luke”
He sat back. Your words startled him into shock as he looked at you with wide eyes. His fingers are still levitating from the wood of the table, pausing the constant drumming he does when he is nervous. It wouldn’t seem like much, but his reaction alone broke your heart.
You finally let out the thoughts that had been consuming you every night. The words that you rehearsed in your head over and over again, you finally said them even when you prayed to god you didn’t have to.
“What?” He asked, sounding small. Like a child getting caught.
For a moment your mind went back to those chill afternoons spent on his couch, where he’d never raised his voice to not disturb the peace that you created for yourselves. He would lay on your chest as you played with his hair, just enjoying each other’s company where everything seemed so perfect and real.
Now that image is shattered and you don’t know who to blame.
“I’ve seen them. I’ve seen… her” You said, trying to calm your thoughts “Pictures of you with her, by her side. Holding her waist as if you were afraid she could go away. I’ve seen you both in the background, talking very closely, wondering where I was in the conversation. Doubting my place, my mind. Pictures of days you said you were away to write, but the location tagged at a local bar. There were so many of just one night and I’m scared to find out if there’s more from the nights where you didn’t call”
Luke shook his head “You don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Enlighten me”
“I don’t know what you want me to say”
“Then tell me I’m wrong” You pleaded, holding his gaze “For the love of god, Luke, tell me I’m wrong. I want to be wrong, I don’t want to be right. Or tell me a good lie, a new truth that I can accept and we could move past this. Anything that could take away this awful feeling! Just tell me I’m wrong and I’ll come back, make me believe whatever you want, I don’t care anymore if you lie. Just tell me I’m wrong, please. Please”
Your lips trembled from the words, but there wasn’t a tear in sight. The beating of your heart finally caught up to the adrenaline, you wanted to carve it out of your chest and present it to him on a silver platter, making him see that you were not lying.
He could see it as well, all the pent-up energy now wasted on him. The desperation to cling to something he knows is lost. For every emotion you felt, he felt it twice as much and twice as hard when it finally hit him. Now the silence is back with an answer he would never have the heart or the guts to give.
The damage was done, the paradise broken.
And you knew. For minutes he sat there without being able to look at you. You knew there was no coming back from it.
“Did it feel good?”
“Y/N-” He begged, tears forming in his eyes.
“No, tell me. Did it hit you as it should? Did you feel free? Or was it just curiosity to see what you’ve been missing while you were with me?”
Luke shook his head, unable to meet your eyes as your words hit him hard.
“Was it survival? To have that primal feeling of calm, to do it with someone new and see what it was all about”
“Stop, please”
“I need to know” You begged “I need an answer that could help me live through it. Something that can explain why you decided to burn it down before our ashes even hit the ground. Did they make a sound? Give me an answer, Luke, something that breaks my heart completely. Something that shatters all the love that I have left for you. I can’t live with it anymore, I won’t survive it. Break me and tear me apart. Or lie to me and make me come back. I can’t keep going, I can’t not know why”
He clenched his fists on top of the table, pressed his lips on a thin line. He couldn’t answer something he didn’t know. Cause that’s the truth and you can see it clearly as day: he didn’t even know why.
“Was I on your mind?”
“Don’t-”
“Tell me if I was. Even a glimpse of consciousness during that time. When you kissed or when you touched, did it feel foreign or like coming home? Did you call her by her name forgetting mine along the way? Making yourself believe that I wouldn’t find out or that I never existed at all, pretending there was nothing wrong when I was sleeping in your bed. Was I on your mind when you decided that I wasn’t enough?”
“No”
And there it was, the truth that sounded sweet even when the knife cut through your heart like it was nothing. He did it. He gave you what you wanted.
And it felt good to hear.
It felt good to finally know the truth from a lie. It felt good to have that pain finally collapse its walls and consume you with just a simple word. It felt good to know that there could not be any love left, not like the one you felt before anyways. You were free, after sleepless nights you could finally rest with your broken heart.
A small laugh escaped your lips as you looked at him. His eyes were puffy and red, and the tear stains on his cheek told you that he was hurting. But you didn’t care. Instead, you laughed.
You laughed at the absurdity of it all, how he could be the one crying in front of the victim. The silence was finally broken by your outburst and his confusion. Tears of laughter ran down your cheeks as he mirrored them with regret. Nothing less to be said.
Once you calmed down and wiped the tears from your eyes, you leaned down and grabbed the box with his stuff in it.
“I think you should go,” You told him.
Luke’s eyes widened as he looked between you and the box.
“Y/N, please-”
“No,” You shook your head “No more ‘please’ it’s done, Luke. We are done and there’s nothing left for you here”
“No!” He stood up, walking over to you but you stood up as well before he could reach you. Instead, he took your hand “Y/N, it can’t end like this! I know I fucked up, I made a mistake and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I love you-”
“You don’t,” You said, taking your hand from his “You don’t, Luke. And if you did I don’t think I could believe you anymore”
“Then let me prove it.”
“I don’t want you to.”
He took a step back, almost as if you’d shot him in the heart.
“What?”
“I don’t want you to prove anything to me. I don’t want to hear you say you love me or that you made a mistake. It’s not true and you know it. Because someone that loves - truly loves another person, would not hurt them the way you hurt me. That’s not love and no words you say could convince me otherwise. You had your chance to lie, now it’s not the time anymore”
You grabbed the box and handed it to him. He was looking down, you knew it was for the best. You walked toward the door and opened it for him.
“Goodbye, Luke”
He just shook his head as he took wide steps to get out of there as quickly as he could, he didn’t say a word. But that wasn’t your problem, it’ll never be your problem again.
The paradise was officially gone and with that your chance to start anew. So the first thing you did when you closed the door was to break down and cry.
And you cried for the first time in a week. Cried for everything that could’ve been. The tears were not for him, but because of him. The tears were cleaning the hurt inside your heart, knowing that it’ll stop one day and the hurt will only be a memory for a rainy day.
Now, the clouds were gathering and the tea was getting cold. Let yourself feel the hurt, that the world will wait for you.
this could be heaven (if heaven was an actual place)
hello there! it’s time for the 2022 5SOS Song Fic Fest ( @5sos-fic-fest )! it’s here! we did it!
firstly! many many thanks to @allsassnoclass for organizing this event! this was so fun and i’m very very appreciative for your support and for keeping all of us organized lol.
this fic is inspired by the song Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa by FINNEAS. (it’s a good one! go listen!)
special thanks go out to @reveriesofawriter for reading like three different versions of this silly little story and also convincing me at least a few times that i was indeed capable or writing this. meghna ilysm, idk how i got so lucky to know you. also many thanks to @kaleidoscopeminds <3 somehow the moment i was questioning whether or not i should participate in this event, meg showed up in my dms to encourage me to sign up. she’s got super powers i stg. meg ily your support in all things means more than i could ever express. also - shout out to my roommate who let me read bits of this out loud to her to check for flow. she’ll never read this but bless her.
here this is on ao3 if that’s more your jam
happy reading :)
Michael is still getting used to not waking up alone.
Before, when he was off tour, he’d wake around 9. Though all of the health Tiktoks he’d get on his For You page (and his mother) would advise against it, he typically would immediately pick up his phone and scroll through the notifications that had gathered while he slept. Usually dumb things on Twitter and Instagram, late night DMs of dog videos from Calum, emails also from Calum related to something the PR team needs Michael to do. Eventually, he would climb out of bed and shuffle into the kitchen to wake up his coffee maker.
While the coffee brewed, he would feed the dogs and turn on a podcast likely suggested to him by Ashton (he was big on podcasts for a while). He would let the dogs out to the backyard before sitting at the island with his coffee to continue listening to the podcast. His second cup would be accompanied by a scroll through his news app to check up on what was going on in the world. After he felt caught up, he would retreat back to his room, get dressed, and text Calum or whoever he was writing with or his manager, all depending on what was to be done that day. He didn’t spend all that much time with his mornings; there was always something to be done and he didn’t want to get behind on things.
But still, it was a mindless routine. His mother or Ashton would shake up the routine every once in awhile by sharing some tip they had heard or read somewhere that would have Michael adding in a glass of lemon water before the coffee or a gummy multivitamin that he kept on his nightstand to make sure he didn’t forget to take them. But ultimately the routine stuck to the same general pattern until Michael went on tour and would have to relearn the whole thing upon returning to LA so many months later.
That all changed after Luke became a part of Michael’s world.
It depended on the day of the week. He taught early morning labs on some weekdays and it made more sense for him to stay at his place closer to campus to get to those since sweetheart, I love you but rockstars live too far from the campus. This particular morning was a Tuesday, which meant Luke wasn’t due on campus until a meeting with his advisor at 3PM. That meant they could sleep in. That was the first change to Michael’s routine: rising a bit later in the morning. But the purple painted below Luke’s baby blue eyes worried him more than he would ever let him know, so they slept in a bit.
The ridiculous sleep schedule was one of the first things Michael learned about Luke. Though it had taken a week for him to respond to Michael’s first messages to him after being set up by Calum and Ashton (It’s not my fault they decided to set me up with their hot musician friend the week before my qualifying exams, okay?), Luke’s initial suggestion that they meet for dinner at 10PM was the first of an endless number of times he would make Michael laugh. It was the lack of predictability of their schedules that made their amateur match-making friends first think that they might make a good pair. Six months since their first date at the diner across the street from campus and everyday Michael thanks his lucky stars that his best friends love getting in the middle of his business.
On this Tuesday, something stirs Michael closer to around 9:30. They’ve managed to remember to close the curtains for once so the room isn’t too bright and Michael is grateful to not wake up to the blinding mid-morning sun. He hears a scratch at the door (the dogs are still getting used to routines a bit later than they like). Michael turns his gaze to Luke, worried that the sudden noise will wake him.
Luke faces toward Michael, his chest pressed against the mattress and the blanket and sheets pushed down to the dip of his lower back. Michael’s eyes catch the constellation of freckles dotted along his back and shoulders that’s grown from summer afternoons at the beach with the dogs. If Luke were awake, Michael would probably trace a fingertip between them but again, his brilliant boy needs the rest. Blonde curls are splayed out on the pillow and half covering Luke’s face in a way that should look messy but somehow still looks like a piece of art. How Luke manages to look so angelic while unconscious is a mystery Michael thinks he could spend the rest of his life trying to solve and still come up with nothing.
Chapped lips puff against the pillow at a slow tempo and Michael figures there’s no way Luke is close to waking. He gently slides off the mattress to keep the beat steady and shuffles across the carpet to the door. He hears a quiet whine behind him and turns. Luke has lifted his head just slightly from the pillow. His eyes are hidden behind the hair that’s fallen in his eyes and his bottom lip is pouted in Michael’s direction. Michael laughs quietly and walks back toward the bed.
“Sleep for a few more minutes,” he mumbles through a kiss pressed to the top of Luke’s head and the tip of his scrunched up nose. “I’ll have coffee waiting on the patio.” Luke hums something that sounds like agreement to the plan (he rarely gets any argument from Luke when the promise of coffee has been made) and drops his head back to the pillow. Michael waits in the doorway for a moment, smiling at the scene of this boy he’s fallen so hard for even after just six months tangled up in his sheets. He pulls his eyes away and gently closes the door behind him, only just barely fighting against the temptation to crawl back into bed and let the whole day slip away from them under the cover of bright white blankets and sheets.
Michael shuffles down the hall and through a morning-sun soaked living room. The kitchen is lit up from the big windows over the sink, the light bouncing off of a flower vase sitting in the window sill painting the countertops with a pink glow. Michael starts brewing a pot of coffee, the dogs’ nails clicking against the kitchen floor behind him. Moose spends the whole thirty seconds it takes for him to dump a cup of food in her bowl whining and looking up at him with pleading eyes. He laughs quietly to himself and pets the top of her head before he returns to the coffee pot. Michael has taken a pause on the morning podcasts; he’s found that starting his days with quiet is more effective in lifting his mood. He likes not having to pause something when Luke eventually comes out to join him.
He is comforted by the sound of the dogs eating their breakfast and the coffee dripping into the carafe. He remembers the first time he felt that, how he got so worried that he was settling into some kind of domesticity too young. When he raised the concern with his mom, she only laughed, saying she had felt the same thing at his age. He thinks about how his parents have spent their mornings for the last thirty years.
He reaches into the cabinet above the coffee machine for a couple mugs (his, from a radio station in Cleveland, and Luke’s, bright red and reads Trust me! I’m an engineer.). He pours them each a mug (adding a couple spoonfuls of sugar to his own) before heading out the sliding glass door onto the patio. He’s found that the fresh air wakes him up probably even more than the coffee, if he’s being honest. It’s late September and living in LA means the tile under his feet is still warm despite autumn arriving a few days before. The dogs run around his feet before chasing each other into the grass and around the pool. Michael smiles, squinting against the light and takes a seat on the couch after setting the mugs safely on the coffee table.
As he drinks his coffee, he finds himself trying to somehow savor the moment more than he normally does (he’s gotten a lot better at being present just in general, his therapist would be proud of him). He leaves for a short tour in a couple days and as much as he loves being on the road, he finds he misses the mornings most when on a bus for weeks at a time.
When he was away in June and July for a summer tour, he was reminded for the first time in a while of why he had spent so long guarding his heart from something like what he had with Luke. It was a tour with six bands Michael had spent the end of his teen years traveling across the country with during Warped Tour. It was like traveling with family, and yet Michael found himself missing someone other than his mom on tour for the first time pretty much ever. When he talked to Calum and Ashton about it one night in the parking lot before bus call and asked if they thought he was too into Luke and I don’t know guys, maybe this isn’t good for me, maybe we need to take a break. Calum had only rolled his eyes but Ashton smiled kindly and patted him on the back to tell him it was the exact way he had felt about Calum out on his first tour and then handed Michael his phone already dialing Luke.
Realizing his heart didn’t belong entirely to himself anymore was an adjustment but after six weeks of almost nightly phone calls (sometimes Facetimes when Michael found himself missing Luke’s too big smile and California skies and eyes to match it) and the trip Luke made to the Chicago stop (Michael, I want to visit the Bean), he thinks he knows how to go about things this time around. (It’s another thing his therapist would probably be proud of him for.)
It’s the Chicago trip that Michael is thinking about when he hears the back door slide open and a moment later, a pair of lips pressing against the bedhead he’s yet to bother taming. Luke joins him on the couch, immediately moving to fold his long legs up under him and settle under the arm Michael holds out. His hair is tied back in a tiny bun and he’s wearing one of Michael’s old stretched out t-shirts that’s threatening to fall from his shoulder. Luke looks so good in the mornings, it should be criminal. He takes a sip of his coffee and hums to himself, delighted at the taste.
“Good morning,” Luke says in a voice still gravelly from sleep, a lazy smile pulling at his lips. He presses another kiss against Michael’s jaw and drops his head against his shoulder. Michael lets his fingers tangle into the curls at the back of Luke’s neck while taking another sip of his coffee.
“Sleep alright?” Michael asks with a laugh when he hears Luke yawn. Out in the yard, South settles in for a nap in the sun. Moose continues to run in circles around the smaller dog.
Luke leans forward to set his mug on the coffee table. “Like a baby,” he replies, and leans back into the couch. “I’m going to come over here and steal all your fancy pillows while you’re out on the road. Costco pillows are like bricks to me now.”
Michael laughs. “You could just stay here while I’m gone, you know? Calum is going to be here to watch the dogs but I don’t think he’d mind the company.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Luke says with a wave of his hand. “We’ve already planned slumber parties so we can gossip about you and Ashton while you’re on the other side of the country.”
“As long as Moose gets her special treats, the place is all yours.”
“Thank you, honey.”
They sit in the silence for a while, the jingle of the dogs’ collar tags and the windchime around on the front porch a delicate soundtrack as they finish their coffee. Luke moves to stretch out along the couch when Michael gets up to leave their mugs in the sink and grab his journal.
The remainder of their morning routine continues from there. Michael does some journaling, scribbling down some lyrics in the margins until he finishes up the prompt he had been working on. After a few minutes, Luke stands and wanders into the yard. He stretches and runs around with the dogs for a while (his bright laughter when the dogs run between his feet the music to go along with Michael’s doodled lyrics). Eventually, he returns to the patio and drops back onto the couch, his head dropping to the pillow on the opposite end of the couch from Michael.
Michael pauses in his writing and turns to look at Luke. He’s lost the hair elastic that had been holding the bun at some point and his hair looks something like a tiny lion’s mane the way it fans out against the pillow he’s resting on. His fingers are pulling at the bottom hem of the t-shirt he’s wearing in a way that just after they met earlier in the year, Michael has always interpreted as a nervous habit. He remembers being worried he was making Luke nervous somehow only to find out it’s just what Luke did when he was working through some puzzle or idea in his mind. Michael studies his face now, the way his nose will scrunch up just the slightest bit, the small lines forming between his eyebrows. Luke’s eyes don’t stray from their gaze up at the ceiling as he reaches a hand up to scratch at the pale stubble on his jaw. It’s like he’s tracing out invisible constellations on the ceiling of Michael’s back patio.
Michael lifts a hand and gently pats at Luke’s ankle, a silent back in a minute with more coffee. As he heads for the door, he can’t be certain if the quiet buzzing he hears in between the windchime is the hummingbird visiting the feeder outside the kitchen window or the racing of Luke’s mind. He settles on the possibility of both and opens the sliding door.
He leans against the island as the coffee maker whirs back to life and looks back out to the patio. Luke has sat up in preparation for more coffee and even from the far side of the kitchen, Michael just catches Luke’s dimple as he lets the dogs climb all over him on the couch.
He thinks back to his parents again, about one particular picture that’s hanging in the dining room back home in Sydney. It’s the two of them, probably about the same age Michael is now, Michael’s dad laughing at something and his mom smiling fondly behind her mug. Growing up, his mom had always told him that that’s what love should be; someone who never stops bringing you joy, who never stops making you laugh. Michael spent a very long time thinking that it would be okay if he never found that romantically, that it wasn’t something he needed.
He thinks about the lockscreen image on his phone, a picture Calum had taken when the four of them had gone out for brunch in Chicago before Luke and Calum had needed to head for the airport. In the picture, Michael is wearing one of Luke’s hoodies and has an arm around the back of Luke’s chair. Luke’s eyes are closed in laughter and Michael is smiling as he reaches for his coffee with his free hand.
Michael never intended to share his heart with someone else. But as he fills the coffee mugs again to head back outside, he finds himself making a mental note to print some pictures for the frames in his dining room.
+++
It’s their last night in Paris.
They had started the day ambitious, intent on trying the fancy place a couple blocks from the hotel for dinner but after a day of sight-seeing, they both knew that they were lacking the patience and energy required to get changed and be in public any longer. Michael had been trying to think of a way to make the suggestion to stay in to Luke in the back of their Uber when Luke lifted his head from Michael’s shoulder to shyly suggest that they chill that bottle of sparkling wine they had picked up the day before and order room service instead. Over three years together and it still sometimes surprises Michael how in sync they often are.
They pass a couple of the guys from Michael’s band and crew in the lobby (Ashton and Calum missing because there was something Ashton had needed to ask Calum at the bistro where they had their first date on Michael’s 2016 European tour). Michael waves to them while Luke asks for the ice machine location at the front desk. As they wait for the elevator, Michael intertwines his fingers with Luke’s, smiling at the way Luke never fails to squeeze their palms together every single time Michael holds his hand. It gives him butterflies that he was certain had all flown away when he was still a dumb teenager traveling across the country in cramped vans and kissing boys in the alleys behind shitty bars that had barely even let a teenage punk take the stage. He lifts their joined hands up to his lips as the elevator chimes its arrival.
Their room is golden from the light pouring in through the open curtains as the sun starts its fall toward the horizon in between the buildings they can see from their balcony. They tend to be messy travelers (it makes Ashton anxious whenever he has to stop by for an allergy pill or Michael's Switch charger) and this trip is no exception, their clothes all mixed together between two open suitcases in front of the bed. It's not often they're allowed so much time in one spot but between some additional promo for the new single and actual begging with his booking agent, the band and crew (and partners with airline miles burning a hole in their pockets) got four whole days in Paris. Michael's been highly reflective for a number of reasons on this trip and thinking about how far he's come in his career, to be able to have that flexibility in his touring schedule, isn't lost on him.
Luke doesn't wait for Michael to follow him before continuing through the entryway and launching himself onto the bed. Michael leans against the wall, a smile pulling at his lips at the sight of Luke wiggling out of a cardigan Michael is pretty sure was pulled from his own suitcase. He's been grateful to have Luke out on the road, though he's especially happy it was this week he was able to make it out rather than a week of back to back dates. As much as he loves being able to see his boyfriend standing side stage night after night, he felt that Luke needed the rest. It's been a long semester for him, finally nearing the end of his studies. Michael knows Luke loves the work (he has a habit of reminding him even in his sleep on his most restless nights) but he sent his advisor a last, final draft of his dissertation for edits a couple hours before boarding the flight to France and the weight off his shoulders is almost physically obvious.
Michael tosses his hoodie toward the couch and grabs the room service menu before taking a spot beside Luke, Michael’s head dropping to rest against his shoulder. As the sun continues its daily descent, the sky painting their room in shades of orange and pink and purple as it goes, they call out anything that catches their eye to each other until Michael grabs the phone from the nightstand and dials for the room service line. Luke shuffles around and settles his head against Michael's lap and whispers last minute additions to their order as Michael smiles in between items to the person on the other end of the line. Luke doesn't move once Michael hangs up so he spends a few minutes running his fingers through Luke's hair fluffing up the curls that spent most of the day squashed by a beanie. He senses that the action is likely putting Luke to sleep so he asks him to lift his head back to the pillow, announcing that he needs to shower before food shows up.
Luke sits up for a moment and presses a kiss against Michael's jaw before dropping his head back to the pillow. He mumbles a promise to not sleep through the food being delivered as he reaches for his phone to set an alarm. Michael laughs but by the time he reaches the other side of the room and turns back toward the bed, Luke is already asleep again. He leans against the wall beside the bathroom again and smiles at the scene before him. Their somehow lived-in hotel room is bathed in indigo as the last moments of the day fade from the Parisian sky with Luke nestled into the center of it. The whole scene is a combination of so many things that Michael loves: music, touring, this gorgeous city, the person he so head over heels for that he gets to share all of it with.
He sometimes wonders if he should be worried, doing the long distance thing for as long as they have. Maybe he shouldn't be as comforted as he is by how well they work with Michael on the road and Luke as busy as he is with school but somehow it works for them. It's not something he's ever experienced with any other relationship in his life that exists outside of others in the industry. Up against everything that should make it all fall apart, they stand steady. He's never been religious, barely even spiritual if he's being honest with himself. But something about the view his eyes are taking in right now, Luke and their life and the skyline just beyond the balcony, feels like Heaven. Or whatever Heaven is meant to be.
-
A few hours later, Luke is twisting off the wire cage from the bottle of wine they had picked up. They're out on the balcony and the air is just on the cool side of a late summer night, perfectly comfortable with a hoodie tossed on. Michael doesn't bother closing the door when he comes back to join Luke with a couple of flutes he found hiding beside the mini-fridge. He smiles at the concentration shown on Luke's face when he carefully drops the cage on the table between them and starts twisting the cork. Michael places the flutes on the table a safe distance from where Luke is sitting right as the cork pops! into a potted plant next to Michael. Luke's laughter fills the air around them and he reaches for one of the glasses.
Michael watches Luke gently filling the glasses and finds his chest filled with an emotion he's been feeling every few hours since he woke up that morning. He's still doing a pretty good job at being present but he can't help the way he allows his heart to start longing for the boy across from him even before he's left to get back to the lab and the hallways of the university building Luke pretty much lives in when he's not with Michael. It's like there's a weight of something dropped onto his chest the moment Luke steps onto another flight away from him. It's a feeling Michael has had described to him from just about every person he's met on a tour who has a partner back home they’re waiting to get back to. It's a feeling Michael was hesitant to believe he'd ever experience himself. Now he's filled two albums just trying to describe it.
Luke leans across the table and sets a glass in front of Michael. He sits up for a moment himself and presses his lips to the corner of Luke’s mouth in thanks. As he settles back in his chair, his mind is pulled back to where they are right now: together, on a balcony in one of his favorite places in the world, in love, drinking horribly expensive bubbles. Beneath the table, Michael taps a slow beat against Luke's ankle with his foot. He feels floaty, like he's drunk on the moment before he's even sipped from the glass in front of him.
They talk about their plans for the week in the same kind of way that they would while making Sunday dinner back in LA. (In their kitchen, a title the space received about six months ago once Michael finally got the guts to ask Luke to move in. At that point, Luke had taken over a third of Michael’s closet, his entire bathroom counter, and was on a first name basis with every mail person that stopped by the house. Luke found the formality cute though and made a big show of changing his address in the university records when his lease ended the following month.) Michael and the band are headed onwards to Germany the following evening. Ashton had preemptively conspired some sort of reason to convince Calum to continue on with them to the Berlin show so they can be disgustingly in love and engaged for a solid 36 hours before Calum follows Luke home to LA. Luke has some meetings at the end of the week and needs to schedule a conference room for his defense at the end of October. Michael reminds him that the dogs have their checkup at the vet Friday afternoon and Luke runs inside for a moment for his phone to add that to his calendar because he had in fact forgotten. He returns with a quilt from bed and the slice of chocolate cake they had ordered earlier.
Michael shifts his chair closer to Luke so they can share both. It doesn’t get much better than this, he thinks, as Luke steals a kiss in between a bite of cake and a sip of wine. But then, he supposes, the city reads his mind somehow and the Eiffel Tower starts sparkling between buildings in the distance just behind Luke.
Yeah, Michael thinks when Luke turns to see what Michael is looking at and gasps, pretty close to Heaven.
+++
They have three hours until Michael needs to be back at the bus and four until Luke needs to be checked in at the airport. But the previous night, drunk on chocolate cake and sparkling wine and each other, they decided they needed to visit the Louvre. Michael had bought the tickets online and texted his tour manager the plan with Luke kissing down his neck and laughing in bed.
They had to be strategic in their plan for this visit, knowing they were limited on time. Luckily for them, it’s gorgeous outside, meaning that the museum is a touch less busy than it might be on a rainier day.
Luke decides they should finish their visit with the Mona Lisa since it’s likely to be one of the busier galleries and because he thinks it’ll be a cinematic way to finish off the trip. His labmates had been insistent that he tell them everything about his trip upon his return home, going so far as to schedule an additional meeting just before their lab meeting that week to catch up. He smiles to himself as he lets Michael lead him to the next gallery on their list, thinking about the chocolates in his suitcase he’s brought to share with Ellie and Jacob in their lab’s tiny break room.
Before he knows it, Luke is looking up and there’s a small crowd gathered around the center of the last room on their self-guided tour. They take a spin around the room first, admiring the other pieces gracing the space. Luke loves a museum day, but even more than that, he loves a museum day with Michael. He loves watching the way Michael will drop Luke’s hand to lift it to rest his chin in, his eyes slowly panning over a piece and then reading the card beside the frame, his fingers adorned with chipped black polish scratching at his beard. Luke loves art but there’s something about watching an artist love art that fills his chest up with a feeling he can’t even describe.
Finally they make their way to the room’s centerpiece, Michael’s eyes wide and maybe a touch watery as they take in the view. He’s been quiet in this room compared to most of the others. He reaches his hand back down for Luke’s, his eyes not leaving the piece in front of him. Luke keeps looking between the painting and Michael looking at the painting. He’s struck speechless, whether from the art or Michael, he’s not sure. He’s looking up at the piece again when Michael squeezes his fingers to get his attention.
“Not to be a dork but can you take a picture?” Michael asks shyly.
Luke smiles. “Of course,” he says, pulling out his phone. “Also you took like 60 of me with the Eiffel Tower, you are not a dork.”
He snaps a couple shots of Michael smiling just to the left of where the piece hangs several feet behind him, his cheeks pink and hair almost falling in his eyes.
Michael plucks the phone from Luke’s fingers as they step away, letting the people behind them take their turn in front of the painting. “How do they look?” Michael asks as he navigates to Luke’s photo app.
“Perfect,” Luke says. He reaches for Michael’s free hand as they head for the hall that will take them back toward the museum lobby. “Though she’s got nothing on you, honestly.”
Michael laughs brightly as they reach the stairs back to the Pyramid. “Now who’s the dork?” he laughs and lifts their joined hands to his lips. “Thank you for coming with me. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Luke echoes, and they step out into the light.
a repost from my previous blog! i’ll be putting my old writings in my queue just so i can get them back on my blog. wanna be added to my tag list? click here!
paring: luke hemmings / female reader
about: @killmywildflower requested something for hoe hours and i wrote this. thats honestly the jest of it. luke worships the reader’s body and oral sex ensues. spicy shit.
warnings: smut. oral sex (female recieving)
word count: 722
award shows were fun and all, but luke had more interest in the little black dress you’d decided to wear that night. he struggled not to drag you away and fuck you before the award show even started. he knew better because if you two started, it would be hard to stop and even harder to convince yourselves to go back to the show. (plus, he was sure that you were up to something.) it was somewhere between his dirty daydreaming and when their band was called to accept an award when he’d decided that you’d leave early.
it wasn’t rocket science to know why luke dragged you away from the after party— especially when he made a point to lean down and explain how your night would end. there wasn’t any argument as he pulled you to the elevator and down the hall to your hotel room. the wall was where you landed, a soft thud echoing through the room as your back hit the surface. your lip got trapped between your lips as you watched your beautiful boyfriend drop to his knees in front of you. there were no words, but his wicked smirk spoke for him. his large, skilled hands roughly pushed up the hem of your tiny little dress before tracing his tongue across the black lace that decorated your hip.
“ fuck, baby. what’s gotten into you? ” you gasped, hands moving to caress the messy curls that littered his forehead.
“ don’t act like you don’t know how fucking delicious you look,” his voice was low, but it was still demanding while he looped his fingers around your thong and shoved it to meet your ankles. without missing a beat, luke tapped your thigh with his hand, “ put your leg over my shoulder so i can get a taste, baby. ”
there was no room to pretend that this simple conversation didn’t make you wet. he could see how his actions had already made your thighs shiny from your arousal. “ oh look at you, you’ve made a mess.” luke took his index finger and traced between your folds, a smirk glued to his face as he watched your face.
“ you should help me clean it up, ” he had you in the palm of his hand and you knew it. you didn’t care. you’d beg for him if he’d asked— or even if he didn’t ask. you were so absolutely infatuated with the pretty man kneeling between your legs. he didn’t even quip back to your comment, instead he bowed his head to lick a bold stripe against the arousal left on your thigh.
“ is all this for me? tell me baby, i wanna hear you say it, ” he dipped his finger slightly in your hole, his blown out pupils staring intensely— daring you to say something.
you let out a strained moan, “ fuck luke, of course it’s all for you— i want your mouth on me, please.“ you begged and he wasted no time in latching his lips to your clit. the noises he made against you were borderline pornographic, lapping you up like it was his only job. you couldn’t do anything but praise him. your hands ran through his hair and luke never let up, bringing you closer and closer to your climax without hesitation. his fingers joined his lips and around that same time, you felt your leg failing you as it struggled to keep you balanced. luke held you with his free hand, keeping you close to the wall. he knew you were close just by the way you tightened around his fingers and with one final suck to your clit he rested his tongue flat against the bud. he made circles around it as you finally fell apart, eyes locking as you released on his tongue. your throat was raw from how loud you screamed his name. while you were catching your breath, you couldn’t help but admire him staring back up at you. his face was now decorated with your aforementioned mess. it was such a perfect sight as he cleaned you up with his tongue.
he left his knees with a firm kiss to your hip and with a proud grin, luke kissed you fully on the lips before demanding a simple, “ get on the bed, ass up— leave the dress on.”
Ashton gets stressed easily, he does his best not to show anyone but with you it’s different. At the end of the day, Ashton was always excited to come home and see you. Ashton has never been afraid to be vulnerable with you and you with him. You both knew each other like the back of your hand. Ashton was never afraid to tell you anything because he was sure you would always love him no matter what.
Michael
Michael was more sensitive than he led on. He liked to be alone often. He wanted to play games, listen to music or do anything while being alone, however, you are the exception. Every time Michael would pull away from life and want to hide away from his responsibilities, he would always bring you with him. He couldn’t imagine being without you even when he wanted to be as far away from people as possible.
Calum
Calum liked to be independent at times but other times he loved having you depend on him and him on you. He loved coming home and knowing you were going to be waiting for him. He knew he could always come home and lean on you when things get rough. You could always look at him and immediately know what he needs when he came home. Calum could never tell you enough how much you mean to him.
Luke
Luke is much more transparent with everyone about how much he needs you. If he has a bad day, he’ll call you. If he’s having a great day, he’ll call you. He loves to see you no matter what he’s feeling. He loves knowing that no matter how he’s feeling, good or bad you can always make him feel even better with just a simple conversation.
