#lula.doc

[mazeppas-blog]

*thinks abt how beautiful and amazing mi/ssy ellio/tt is* nice

[mazeppas-blog]

productivity

i love myself so much

[mazeppas-blog]

i'm crying

this is the most fruitful conversation i've ever had on this godforsaken chat site

[mazeppas-blog]

name 10 favorite characters and then tag 10 friends

thank you big sis for tagging me!!! i'm not going to tag 10 friends because i'm lazy lmao everyone who sees this and is interested i tag you omg???

ok so this is so hard i'm crying don't make me choose like this this is like asking a mother to choose her favorite child so to make it easier i won't choose people from the same seRIES

basilio - fire emblem (who saw this coming??? who sAW THIS COMING???)

inspector cabanela - ghost trick

eiji kamiya / gin - devil survivor

sidney - pokemon (he deSERVED SO MUCH MORE DEVELOPMENT...SO MUCH MORE...)

gentarou hongou / ace - zero escape

takako chigusa - battle royale

ibuki mioda - dangan ronpa

anthony crowley - good omens

klavier gavin  - ace attorney

honestly it's a tie between dylas from rune factory, utsuho from izuna, and kai from luminous arc, take ur pic

[mazeppas-blog]

i nearly failed my home economics class holy shit i'm sorry that i can't sew and cook like holy god almighty motherfuckers, i'm sorry i can't perform tasks that you think women should do, jfc

[mazeppas-blog]

me, speaking in english when i'm upset: ugh i'm so fucking pissed goddamnit

me, speaking in my native tongue when i'm upset: putangina pakshet gaga ka talaga ha walang hiyang anak ng huweteng susmaryosep hay nako

[mazeppas-blog]

i don't know; i like to think that i've been getting better. sure, i ended up bawling for such a long time, and sure, i did go quiet and only speak/react in grunts and single words for a certain period of time, but i like to think that i've gotten better. because, right now, i feel a little better, actually...

i mean, yeah, i feel horrible, and nothing's going to change that (with the exception of time, maybe) but. that in itself is a big step, because, in the past, it used to take me ages to recuperate from something like this. instead of feeling pure hopelessness, i'm actually finding motivation to do better next time--i've already started on some projects, and maybe i'll refine my notes in my binder and take better ones, and i'll spend less time on the computer and actually spend more time being productive (i.e., practicing skills needed for skill-based subjects like home economics and p.e.)

i don't know, just some thoughts. i'll delete it later.

[mazeppas-blog]

me: *gets grades and starts crying and gets upset*

mom: *gets mad at me for crying and being sad* *tells me that i shouldn't tell my shrink about this and says i'm embarrassing*

me: ok