#luminous studies

[luminous-studiess]

exam is in 7 hours. last push. 

[luminous-studiess]

i failed a class. i’m not saying this to be sad, because i’ve mourned for an evening (by sitting up in bed and drawing and maybe just a little bit of crying), but because i did say that i would be completely transparent about my failures on this blog. the truth is, sometimes hard work doesn’t lead to immediate success. for me this comes as a relatively new thing; in undergrad i’d been used to mildly minimal effort (except during hell week where i would cease to be a human being and turn into a paper-writing ghost) and maximum output and good grades. i learned that in the real world, this does not happen, and even the best effort can only bring you so much. am i saying this to be depressing? no. i think i learned many lessons about how to study and how not to study, and i’m proud of myself for making it this far.  today, i decided to push aside a lot of the grief i was still feeling (yes, i’m dramatic, i have a leo moon) to work at a cafe with my sister; i have another exam next week. moving forward helps. i realized that feeling sorry for yourself usually leads to downward spirals and being stuck in a sad, sad hole. so i studied for 7 hours and finished half the syllabus (aka the exam coverage). i sketched my sister, laughed, had light fluffy pancakes, and played with my cat. there is so much more to learn, and maybe some of it comes from being to laugh at myself and my failures. we’ll all make it someday. just gotta keep trying.  - sam

[luminous-studiess]

my constitutional law prof recommended actually tracking the hours we studied everyday not for the sake of productivity itself but just to be able to count the quality of our study time (without distractions). lately i’ve been doing that on an app (clockify) and it actually makes me work in a more present and focuses way. it’s really life-changing.

so far i’ve been getting around 4 hours done a day but that’s still with distractions so i’m trying to work on that. but it’s been great for finals season.

[luminous-studiess]

some jazz and hot cocoa and criminal law. pro tip: if you mix cocoa powder, powdered milk, sugar, and salt in the right ratios, it tastes like swiss miss.

[luminous-studiess]

a little change of subject. my sister’s an engineering major. we went out today to get some schoolwork done, so i’m working on reviewing for an exam while she does some engineering drawing practice. it’s a good morning because we had mcdonalds for breakfast, and their hash browns are amazing.

[luminous-studiess]

trying to get some pre-semester reading in on our dining table. i really love it because it has benches on either side and makes our dining room look like a cozy cafe and was something i chose myself! i also like studying in this spot because there’s no direct sunlight that comes in, but the room still has a wonderful view of the mountains and lots of fresh air that comes in, which really helps to keep me awake. which is very important.

[luminous-studiess]

yesterday was probably my most productive day in the semester. incidentally, my sister and i were the first ones in starbucks, so that was pretty wild. 🌻

[luminous-studiess]

some constitution 2 notes, and a second coffee. i’m trying to be a better student this year, but it’s hard sometimes. at the same time, all i can do is try.