𑁍ࠬܓ BODY LIKE GOSSIP
── 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘥? 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵, 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥?
pairing: 王奕翔 𝓍 fem!reader word count: 7,099 tags: angst, fluff, smut, fratboy!nicho, fraternity au, semi-situationship, nerd!reader, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, pet names (pretty, etc), unprotected sex ⌗ lexi's notes: Thank you to @haologram @hannieoftheyear @tyunningism @xomakara and @starryjake for beta-reading this for me! read more ᵎ!ᵎ
𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𓇬 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!
The following comprise the instrumental families: strings, woodwinds, brass…
Reading over your study guide is impossible in this state, a state you've sat in for almost two hours. Nicholas's stare burns into the side of your face as his fingers rub circles into your palm under the table. You tried to lay it flat on your thigh moments ago, but the asshole just snaked his hand into yours anyway, his touch too perfect to fight. And he knows it. He also knows how much he screws with your attention when he’s like this, focusing only on you and not on the reason the two of you are spending Friday afternoon in the library.
“We’re gonna fail this exam if you keep doing this,” you tut as you flip to the next page. The sentences from the previous one barely stick in your memory, the words a sepia-toned haze.
"That statement is entirely rhetorical and you know it," he whispers, still creating patterns on your skin that leave a fire in their wake with a smirk that could make you fold ten times over.
Ever since you met Nicholas, he's always been stubborn about his desires, big or small. If it’s something as simple as touching you, he’ll do so without a care for what or who might stand in his way. He doesn’t mind the stares and pays no attention to commentary, cares little for the secondhand consequences that come from his decisions. For all its drawbacks, his willingness to go after anything and everything makes him such a good audio engineering major and confident student.
Just when he's on the cusp of frustrating you, he reminds you why and how he pulls you in so easily, even if he’s not completely yours and you’re not his.
The touches in crowded rooms help, too, even if you'll never admit it.
“Yixi…” you sigh as his hand inches higher, leaving yours in your lap as he runs more curves and swirls into your thigh.
"Have I ever told you how much I love my name when you say it like that, all flustered and shit?"
"We can't do this here," you chide him with a forceful murmur, but it holds no weight when you lean into it, into him, with a small smile on your lips that matches his own.
"Nobody can see us," Nicholas promises as he continues his path upward, toying with the zipper of your jeans. The rings on his fingers clink against your belt, and the sound is almost heavenly. You want to do more, but all the things you envision in your mind still wouldn't be enough. "And I can control myself. Question is if you can, tiánxīn." The term of endearment leaves his lips like water, effortless in its usage but volcanic in its impact.
It clenches at your heart and twists it so beautifully, it almost stops you from remembering all the boundaries you keep crossing. You think most days and nights that, with the way you act around Nicholas and vice versa, you won't come out of the whole arrangement alive.
"No strings," you said in the quiet of your bedroom after that first time three months ago, dead-set on guidelines he would've been stupid not to agree with. He had just broken up with Yeri, and you were too consumed with school and work to think of maintaining a stable relationship.
Every day, you tell yourself it won't last long, even if you spend a secretly copious amount of time entertaining the idea of something beyond the physical with him. You'll become a fleeting memory when he goes back to his ex-girlfriend or finds a new slice one of these days, fading into the shadows of his life filled with fraternity parties, basketball practice, and rich kids. Standing in the peripheral vision of someone as magnanimous as Wang Yixiang is inevitable, predetermined like fate.
It's best to enjoy it while you can, but it's hard to do so when you and Nicholas blur the edges of what it means to be beneficial friends.
Breaking from your thoughts, you realize his lips are a hiccup from yours. One accidental push forward and they'll touch, right there in the library for everyone to witness. From the gleam in his eye, you can tell he couldn't care less. He practically goads you to do it, hiking one eyebrow up at you in jest so you take the ultimate step.
Before you can do so, three people advance towards your study table. You recognize Taki and Maki from miles away, Nicholas's fraternity brothers donning red and bleach-blond hair, respectively. The third person, Nicholas's ex-girlfriend Yeri, is who makes your blood turn cold, her perfectly composed makeup and outfit dominating the entire room.
You retreat immediately from Nicholas's side, going back to staring down at your textbook and scribbling something quickly in the margin to look busy. Nicholas doesn't remove his hand from your jeans, but you feel it flex against your skin like he's just been burned.
"Hey, Nicho," Maki says to Nicholas with a wide smile, his teeth practically blinding. "Was wondering where you ran off to."
Nicholas takes his attention off of you and looks up at the younger kid, suppressing a scowl. "I told you I'd be in the library until 7. It's 5:45," he deadpans, saying the words with a calculated method he's never used with you.
"We were just making sure you remembered to bring the keg since the party's at 8," Taki adds. "I know Study Buddy keeps you busy."
Study Buddy, your official title to the PSI horde Nicholas hangs out with. You should feel hurt by the lack of address, being talked about instead of to like you're not even there. But Riki #1 and #2 don't have two brain cells to rub together, according to Euijoo and Harua, so there's no point in feeling provoked by their tactics.
"And you couldn't tell me that in a text?" Nicholas asks, jaw ticking.
Yeri pipes in with, "She's not coming, is she?" She tilts her head in your direction, black hair swishing, but you just continue reading the same line in your textbook over and over to avoid responding.
Strings, woodwinds, brass. Strings, woodwinds, brass. Fuck Yeri and her lackeys. Strings, woodwinds, brass…
"I don't think you have any business saying who does and doesn't come around my house," Nicholas bites back. "What are you planning on doing there, anyway? Need to find some fresh meat now that Sungho's dropped you? Wasn't it Jungwon last week?"
Yeri's bottom lip purses as she crosses her arms. "Just don't want people hanging around our group that'll feel uncomfortable, obviously."
Nicholas laughs, the sound as artificial as Yeri's nails. He removes his hand from your leg to emphasize the space between him and Yeri animatedly. "We don't have an our anymore. Haven't for a long time now, and I prefer it that way." Nicholas turns back to the red and yellow-haired meatheads with indifference. "I'll bring the beer. Let me get back to studying for my exam, yeah?"
The two guys skitter off as Yeri stomps away, and you exhale the breath you were holding in their presence.
Nicholas inches forward until his chest is flush with your side, invading your space the same way he was before the trio crashed your study session. "You okay?" he asks into the curve of your shoulder, lips stroking the skin like a paintbrush, gentle in its touches.
You nod slightly, the gesture the only thing you can manage. Normally, despite your introverted nature, you rarely let others make you feel small or leave a conversation like that without saying something in your own defense. But what could you possibly say that would make the passive aggressiveness sting less? Were they right? Would it make more sense for Nicholas to be anywhere but right next to you?
"Words, tiánxīn. Are you alright?" His words are so featherlight they clash with the deep timbre of his voice, and all your worries could melt from that alone if you weren't so absorbed by your own doubts.
You turn so you're looking directly at him and nod once more. "They're right, though. I don't belong at some big Psi Sigma Iota party."
"You belong with me," he says. It warms you down to your soles how easily he says those four words. "Even if it's at some trashy fraternity bender."
You giggle. "You know you're talking about your own fraternity, right?"
Nicholas grins and rolls his eyes. "I told you. I only joined because Kei needed a friend during Rush week."
"Right." Out of habit, you run your index finger over his plush bottom lip, no longer concerned with the attention of anyone else in the library, too lost in Nicholas to care about the reactions from your peers.
Nicholas leans into your hand, kissing your skin like it's all he cares to do with his time. "We still have an hour to kill," he says, "and there may be a stack upstairs with our names on it."
"Oh really?" You bite your lip. You used to be the girl who never socialized, stayed glued to books like it was her job, and kept her circle small. Now, Nicholas has you contemplating a quickie in a public place with serious intentions of accepting his offer.
As you pack up your stuff with a lust-clouded brain, you know for sure this thing with Nicholas can only end two ways, and you pray he won't leave you broken in the aftermath.
Yeri finds you before your next Musicology class with a deep grimace on her face. It was bad enough your shift at the coffee shop ended with a customer threatening to throw their "incorrectly-made" iced macchiato at you, but seeing Yeri now leaves an even worse taste in your mouth.
"This thing you have with Nicho, what is it?" she asks with no preamble. You appreciate her willingness to get straight to the point, but you're still taken aback. It's been ninety-days, ninety-five if you were being technical, since they had anything to do with each other. And they dated for only six months, which Nicholas called "some of the worst of his life."
"What are you, his mother?" You chuckle, mystified. "And I don't know what you're talking about, anyway."
"Don't play dumb."
"Not that it's any of your concern, but we're just study partners. Nothing more."
"You let study partners get that close to you in the library?" She blows out a breath. "Better be careful. Your reputation as the meek little nerd'll be over in a flash if you keep that up."
You take a step forward, boots landing hard on the tile floor of the hallway. Yeri's thrown off kilter by your advance, and it makes you smirk. "I suggest you go back to wherever your Lambo is parked and mind your fucking business."
She scoffs and makes her way to the glass doors of the building. Before she goes, high heels clacking like nails on a chalkboard, she holds one door so she can turn and say, "Just know that you're not the first person he's taken to the stacks. And you'll gain more than your fair share of the freshman fifteen if you keep eating takeout from Choi's."
Your eyes widen before you can stop them, your reaction being exactly what Yeri wants to see. She leaves you to stew with a smug grin on her face, getting the last word that knocks you off your feet.
You feel your heart crawl into your throat, the name of the fast-food restaurant you and Nicholas often frequent ringing in your ears. Choi's is one of the best spots in town within an affordable price-point, you reason. It has nothing to do with Nicholas's past. But how much do you really know about him, anyway? What important details have you gleaned from the ninety-five days he's spent in and out of your bed?
You hear Nicholas call your name from the other end of the hallway, and you can see his pink hair flowing without having to look back at him. You let the worries of your mind fall away when you turn around, plastering a smile on your face before he can question it. "Hey."
"We're gonna be late. You didn't have to wait for me." He pulls you in softly by the neck and kisses your forehead, his lips warm against your skin. It's another display of affection entirely out of the bounds of normal for your relationship, but you give in to it like you always do, because it feels nice to let yourself get swept up in him and his attention. To allow him to hold you close and keep the shadows away for as long as possible.
"We still on for studying after you get out of Humanities later?"
Your face scrunches up at his question. "I thought you had basketball practice after school."
"Was gonna skip it. Figured we could run by Choi's, split the galbitang you like."
You gulp a hefty breath of air at the sound of that name and hold the strap of your backpack tighter to your chest. "Maybe another night. I'm actually not feeling too well."
Nicholas runs a hand over the place he just kissed and laughs after another beat. "You're not running hot or anything."
"No, i-it's probably just a stomach bug. Euijoo wasn't feeling that great at the coffee shop this morning either."
Nicholas's smile slowly fades, comfort turning into confusion. "What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know you, I can tell when you're not being honest." He presses his fingers to your face before cupping the left side of your jaw in his hand. "Your bottom lip quivers right before you lie."
Damn Nicholas Wang and his perceptiveness. You close your eyes, trying your hardest not to let the entire truth spill out of your mouth.
"Talk to me, tiánxīn," he says with raw sincerity, his eyes burning golden brown.
"Just got into it with Yeri, but I'm fine. It was nothing."
"It's not nothing if it's got you worked up like this." He runs his thumb across your cheek in slow circles and frowns. "Do you want me to talk to her?"
"And say what? I'm not your girlfriend, Yixi. You don't need to stick up for me."
Something flashes over his face, his frown set into something firmer, sadder and more solid. "Right." He steps away from you an inch, and it feels like a chasm has erupted between you.
You sigh. "Can we just forget this happened and go to class, please?"
"Sure, yeah, whatever you want." His words are clipped, straight to the point, but you know him the same way he does you. His emotions bleed through everything, as much as he tries to deny it. And you know he's pissed.
He says nothing throughout class, and you feel worse somehow for not hiding your conversation with Yeri better. Then you wouldn't be in such a predicament right now, worried about what Nicholas is thinking as you both write down notes you barely need.
Once your professor lets you out of class, Nicholas mutters something about not wanting to be late for practice, and your heart sinks watching him walk away with tense shoulders and not a single glance back at you.
You found him in the music room a week after the fall semester started, and a week before your relationship would change forever.
He was playing a song you didn't recognize on the piano, one with a beautiful melody that bled into a faster-paced bridge.
"I'm sorry," you said when he caught you staring, interrupting his playing. "I was looking for Mrs. Lee, and I just—"
"No, it's fine, really." His small smile sent a shot straight to your heart; your new classmate was not as scary as you initially predicted from his chocolate brown eyes, deep voice, and even darker clothing. "I was almost done anyway. You're in my Musicology class, right?"
You nodded, grinning. "Yeah, I sit in the back most of the time. Didn't think you noticed me."
He nodded back and ran his fingers along the keys in front of him. "It's hard not to notice you when you get all of the professor's questions right. We just started and you're showing everyone up already."
You blushed. "That wasn't my intention."
"No! It's okay, I like it."
He beckoned you to come closer, and you hesitated for a moment. You knew he had a girlfriend, her presence made known in the times you saw Nicholas entering class and Yeri running back to her own with a scowl on her face.
You sat down next to him on the bench and avoided brushing his shoulder with your own. "I'm Y/N."
"I know," Nicholas said with a smirk. "I'm Yixiang. But most people call me Nicholas. You can call me whatever you want."
He held his hand out for you to take, and his palm was so warm in yours, you should've known from that moment on that he would become far more than your seasonal classmate.
"This is a bad idea," Euijoo comments as you drag him by the hand into the fraternity house, PSI lit up with rambunctious partygoers and flashing neon lights. There's almost no room for the two of you to walk inside, but you make do in your efforts to grab drinks immediately from the island in the kitchen. You heard offhand comments from classmates about the party, and being off of work tonight gave you the perfect excuse to bring along your friend as a buffer.
"Come on, we don't have to stay for long! I just thought it'd be fun," you comment, although it's partly a lie.
You haven't spoken to Nicholas in two days, the longest you've gone without communication since you started spending time with him. You miss him so much it makes your muscles ache. It wouldn't hurt to scout the party for him to see what he's been up to, and if he's spending his night with someone who isn't you.
You search past the throng of people for Nicholas, recognizing some of his fraternity brothers in your search for him. There are some kids making out, others taking hits of joints, and a few even sleeping in the recliner chairs around the room. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot him against the wall with a beer in his hand, talking solemnly with a younger kid you don't know.
His hair is now dyed red, a stark color against the blue and purple lights strewn about the living room. He's wearing a tank top with a pair of baggy cargo jeans, the fit so perfect on him it's almost unfair. You yearn to go up to him and put your fingers through the loops of his pants, to pull him as close to you as possible and kiss him so everybody knows whose name he calls at night.
You're about to take the trek over to Nicholas's spot when Yeri comes up in the crowd to talk to him. He doesn't give her much attention, but he doesn't push her off or tell her to get lost. He splits his attention between his young friend and her, and the sight gnaws at your stomach.
"I don't know what you see in him," Euijoo comments from over your shoulder.
You take a sip from your solo cup to steady your nerves. "He's different from the others. You don't get it."
"You're right, I don't."
"He really is, Juju. I bet you would get along if you got to know him," you suggest, but you know your best friend won't go for it. You're more extroverted than Euijoo, but not by much, and he keeps his circle even tighter than yours.
"Maybe. I just hope you know what you've gotten yourself into," Euijoo comments before drinking from his own cup.
When you turn your attention away from Euijoo to point back at Nicholas, you find him already staring at you with a soft smile on his face. Meeting his eyes, his brown orbs twinkling in a way they weren't during his conversation moments before, the hairs at the back of your neck stand up. Your body buzzes from more than just the booze, and you wonder how much longer it'll take for him to cross the distance between you.
In the next second, he whispers something in his friend's ear before bee-lining over to you, his smile widening. "I didn't know you were coming."
"Surprise?"
He chuckles and kisses you on the cheek, his breath smelling of mint gum and whiskey. It's not a combination you would think to pair together, but because it's Nicholas, you think he can make any scent appealing. "Come with me."
You tell Euijoo you'll be back soon before following behind Nicholas, your hand wrapped tightly in his. You know he's leading you to his bedroom upstairs, but Maki stops you both before you even make it to the staircase.
"Nicho, Study Buddy! We were just about to play TDB."
"TDB?" you ask curiously.
"Truth or Dare or Bottle," Maki responds, "Not the greatest name for a game, but it's fun! Mixes Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare together." He waggles his eyebrows, and some part of you worries how well this game ends up going for its participants.
"We don't have to if you don't want to," Nicholas says in your ear.
"No, let's do it. I'm down to play," you say, because it's true. Perhaps taking part in their pedestrian games will help you be seen as an equal in Nicholas's group rather than an outsider.
"Perfect!" Maki exclaims.
He motions with his drink for you both to join him in the sitting room off of the main hallway, and you see the group of people willing to play on the floor around the sectional. "Alright, two new players!"
You and Nicholas sit next to each other, and you scoot in closer when Yeri steps into the room with a lipstick-lined grin. She doesn't say a word, but she doesn't need to.
The game goes like normal, a handful of dares and truths passed around between the group that make some of you laugh or gag, or both. By the time your turn is up, you steel your nerves and pick "Truth" to be safe.
"How many guys have you slept with in the past six months?" Yeri asks abruptly, her cheshire grin spreading.
Nicholas flicks his head in her direction and gives her a piercing glare, but you put your hand on his shoulder to quell him.
"One," you answer. You take a swig of your beer and swallow down your irritation.
"Your turn, Nicho," Taki says.
Nicholas chooses dare, and you see Yeri pounce before anyone can stop her.
"Tell us how many people you've slept with in the past six months, Nicho." She says the nickname with venom, her remaining words breathy in their delivery.
"What the fuck, Yeri?" Maki asks, confused why she's taking it so far.
"I could probably answer for him, actually," she says with a laugh when Nicholas remains silent. "There was me, a lot. That one girl Chaewon you wanted to have a threesome with but didn't tell me about until after we had that break, so that's two. Oh! And we're forgetting—"
"Yeri, shut the fuck up before I drag you out of here," Nicholas warns, his jaw tensing and the muscles in his shoulders flexing hard.
"That's not even including how many girls he's kissed in between all of that," Taki interjects with a small laugh.
You feel incredibly exposed, unsure how to go about moving forward with such information Nicholas didn't give you the courtesy of knowing. You leave the circle immediately and run to the nearest doorway, trying to find your way out of the house with what feels like a million eyes on you. The urge to throw up is present in your gut, but you don't and won't feel safe to do so until you're back in your room away from the chaos of the party. You don't even try to find Euijoo; you just run.
But you're not the only one running.
Nicholas calls your name as he follows you out of the house and onto the front yard.
"Wait, goddamnit!" Nicholas yanks you back in by the hand. He runs his arms long your sides, terrified to let you go before he can explain himself, but it's all static in your ears. "Don't listen to their bullshit, please? It's not important."
"It is to me," you croak, stunned and shattered. "I feel like I don't know you."
Nicholas tries to reach out and touch your face, but you flinch. His own expression sets in a firm line, although it remains soft at the edges. "I'm me, tiánxīn. I'm your wise-ass study partner, remember?"
You shake your head, tears falling down your face rapidly. Some folks on the lawn are looking at you with confusion and pity, but you don't care right now. Not when your heart is breaking. "So I'm just supposed to let all the things I heard in there slide? Believe you when you say I'm enough for you when that's clearly not the case?"
With each question, your voice goes up a decibel, the alcohol making you brave in the face of all of your insecurities bubbling up to the surface.
"All of that stuff was before I ever met you. It has nothing to do with us."
"Sure." You bite down on your lip so hard the skin threatens to bleed.
"Think about it, Y/N. How many girls have I looked at since I've started seeing you?" he barks. "None, not a single one. I don't need anyone else, or want anyone else. All I want is everything I have with you."
"Why, because I fuck you too well for you to look elsewhere? And when that's not enough, what then?" You shed more tears as you shield yourself with your arms, stepping further away and staving off any attempts for Nicholas to break through the barriers of your fears.
He yanks at the sweaty ends of his hair, exasperated. "After all the time we've spent together, you think that all I care about is getting my dick wet?"
You say nothing, your tongue feeling like cotton and voice hoarse from exertion. Your silence is all he needs to hear, anyway.
His eyes burn as he says, "If you really think the only thing I want from you is sex—that all I see you as is some girl to screw around with—then you should just go. Now!" He raises his hand toward the lamp-lit street behind you, his arm shaking with anger.
You take another step back, stunned at how matter-of-fact he's being. The only thing that keeps you from falling apart all over the front lawn of the PSI house is Euijoo's hand suddenly clasping your arm. "Let's just leave, alright?"
The last picture you have of Nicholas is his chest heaving and his face wet from a mixture of sweat and tears, and you don't know if you'll ever erase such a sight from your memory.
As Euijoo drives you back to your dorm, your heart broken in a million fragments, you realize you should have listened to your friend and never pursued something with a guy like Nicholas.
The week without Nicholas has been painstakingly dull, grey and hollow in all the spaces he used to occupy.
You skipped class twice this week to avoid him and instead took a couple of extra shifts to fill the time, not wanting to waste away in your dorm room with only thoughts of him to make you feel worse. It wasn't much, but it was better than stewing in your misery.
Cut to today, eight days later, and you're somewhat on the mend, still keeping yourself occupied but stuck in an endless loop of suffering through the tint of Nicholas clouding your thoughts.
You and Euijoo are cleaning dirty mugs when Maki walks into the café, hoodie pulled up to fight the rain. Euijoo immediately steps in front of you before you can say anything, shoulders squared and expression gruff. "Whatever bullshit you're about to spew, I suggest you get out of here now before you're thrown out."
"All I want is a coffee man, I swear." Maki raises both of his hands in peace, and you put a hand on Euijoo's shoulder to prove you're okay with the younger guy coming inside.
"Just leave us for a second, okay? I'll be fine."
Euijoo flits his gaze between you both before nodding his head, going to the backroom to leave you and Maki alone.
"What can I get you?" you ask first, approaching the register with a steel tone.
"Iced Americano?"
You tap in the order and take Maki's cash from his hands, noticing the slight tremble in them when you take the bills and coins.
"So, I haven't seen you around," Maki notes as you whip up his order, and your eye roll is all you need to give him to kill his appetite for small talk.
You respond anyway. "Was I supposed to come around after whatever the hell happened that night?"
"I mean— Nicho's just been in a shit mood ever since. Figured it's because something happened between the both of you."
You say nothing following that comment, your heart sore from hearing Nicholas isn't faring any better than you are right now.
You hand Maki his drink, the cup already sweating from the melting ice, and he thanks you for the speedy service.
Before he leaves, he reaches into his pocket to pull out a couple of wrinkled pieces of paper and set on the countertop in front of you.
"I'll probably get killed for giving these to you, seeing as they were in the trash, but it's the least I can do after the shit my friends pulled on you before. And you deserve to know how Nicho really feels about you."
He gives you a small smile and walks out of the café, leaving you to read the contents of the documents alone.
One of them is a piece of sheet music, your name written at the top in quick squiggles. Even though the song is unfinished, with only the first few verses and half the chorus written without lyrics, you can still hear the strands of it in your ears as if it's coming through the shop's speakers. It brings a tear to your eye, its beauty enthralling. But what really makes the waterworks come is on the second page, a letter entirely penned with handwriting you could recognize anywhere.
I'm not good at being vulnerable, Y/N, but the one thing you deserve above all else is honesty, so here it goes.
Do you remember the first night you stayed over my place? I snuck you into the fraternity house when everyone was at some dumb sorority party across campus. We spent almost the entire night talking about music, even though we both had class in the morning. We didn't care, getting into it about what makes the perfect melody like we had all the time in the world to break it down together.
For the first time in a long time, I felt like someone saw me for who I was, not the fraternity brother who intimidates most people. It reminded me of when you interrupted me in the music room the first day we ever spoke. I was just a guy with a piano who played a song you were interested in hearing. And you've mesmerized me ever since.
And if I'm being completely honest here, there's another thing you need to know.
I told you before that the reason I broke up with Yeri was that she was getting too clingy and overbearing, and while a part of that was true, another reason we ended things was because of you. Well, because of me, really, and my feelings for you. Yes, I didn't know you very well back then, but what I felt for you in only a few days eclipsed everything I ever felt for her.
I've fallen harder for you every day. I love the way you don't let others' perceptions of me shadow your own, for your silly ramblings about the circle of fifths and that being your favorite form of pillow talk, how you take all of me beyond face value. We may come from different backgrounds, have particular interests, possess unique dreams, but I love that about you, too. About us.
I love you, tiánxīn, more than I've ever loved anyone else and in a way I never have before. I'm terrified once I tell you this, how you see me will change for the worst. Maybe that's why I've been holding this in, because I don't want to lose you. But love means there's always the chance of loss, and what we have is worth the possibility of heartbreak.
My heart is yours anyway. Break it; don't break it. Do with it as you see fit.
You find him in the music room again, a little over a hundred days later, the same song playing from the keys the day you first met.
You stand by as he continues the song, the ending notes of the bridge you remember so vividly piercing the air. It gives way to the final chorus, and it's just as beautiful as the first time you ever heard it. He also looks as devastatingly handsome from the back as he did all those months ago, neck veins on display from the cover of his denim jacket.
Nicholas senses someone behind him, and his shoulders slump before saying, "I'm leaving in a few minutes—" When he turns, finally seeing you there with teary eyes, his face contorts into a subtle but earth-shatteringly solid line. He doesn't know whether to frown or smile at you; you can tell. And he's quiet, deadly so. On your end, you don't know whether to run immediately into his arms or leave him be.
You choose neither, instead standing firm and trying to muster some piece of courage. Pulling the crumpled papers from your pocket, you reread some of Nicholas's writing. "You said that there's always the chance of loss with love, right?"
His eyes widen. "Where did you get that?"
You ignore the question. "Well, I've already lost you once, and I don't want to do it again. Not when the two of us have a lot left to say. Or rather, I do.
"I love you because you're incredibly headstrong, some would say bullheaded, talented by every definition known to man, and devastatingly handsome. Most of all, I love that you don't let the opinions of others guide you. You follow your own heart, your own compass, in a way that I admire every day.
"I love you, Wang Yixiang," you say, voice interlaced with unshed tears. "I've been in love with you for a while now, and I don't want to hide from it anymore."
That's all it takes for Nicholas to leap from the piano bench and launch into your arms. He entangles his hands in your hair and captures your lips in a devastatingly deep kiss, your tongues linking immediately. It's a week's long amount of pain that you spill into each other's mouths, eager to make up for lost time and catch up on what you both have been missing.
When you part, he rests his forehead on yours and smiles so wide it makes your heart ache with relief. "What took you so long, tiánxīn?"
You giggle and peck his lips once more. "I could ask you the same thing, Yixi."
He shakes his head and runs his fingers along your face. "We've been pretty stupid, haven't we?"
You nod, agreeing.
He kisses you again, sweet and slow, before taking your hand in his to leave the music room, going anywhere the wind takes you now that you're together.
Nicholas takes you back to the PSI fraternity house, immediately running up the stairs to his bedroom and caging you against the door. His movements are unrehearsed, unpracticed, yet he touches and kisses like he's done a million times before. As expected, all of it makes your cheeks burn wildly and your body hum for him like a guitar, plucked with the utmost care for him alone to admire.
He runs his tongue along your bottom lip before sinking his teeth into the plush skin. It makes you moan, and he eagerly swallows it with his mouth.
"I missed all the beautiful sounds you make when I'm this close to you, pretty," Nicholas murmurs, running his hands under your shirt to squeeze at your hips.
He shucks the fabric off of your skin and takes off your bra too in order to gain access to the swell of your breasts, toying with one of your nipples with his teeth. He suckles like it's the best thing he's ever felt between his lips, and you writhe in his hold from the small contact alone. Already, he's got you by the throat, your desire for him too deep to measure.
His hands work of their own accord as they go lower, removing your jeans and underwear in one swoop. You're completely naked before him in record time, all while he's still fully clothed.
"Weno," you whimper as his hand finally touches the cleft of your thighs, fingers gathering wetness from the pool of arousal that coats your pussy.
He murmurs in Mandarin So fucking beautiful before he's picking you up into his arms. He lays you down gently onto the bed, covering your body with his own once you're resting comfortably on his mattress.
Nicholas kisses his way down your body, savoring every inch, all while he's discarding his own clothes to put in a heap next to the bed. Denim jacket, tank top, baggy jeans. All of it is discarded by the time his breath is ghosting over your cunt, his underwear the last garment covering his beautiful skin.
He licks a long and deliberate stripe between your legs, stopping with the curl of his tongue at your clit, and you moan unabashedly, eager to let the sinful sounds rip from your throat. "That's it, tiánxīn. Let everyone know who you belong to," Nicholas goads, "Who I belong with."
He buries his face in your pussy, getting his chin and mouth soaked in your essence with the way he messily devours you. It's all building, the heavy feeling in your gut that's almost too much to bear. It's an exercise of restraint not to fall apart so quickly on his tongue after only a few minutes, but how can you not? You're building for him, because of him, to heights that only he's ever been able to take you to.
He slips his fingers inside of you, two ring-covered digits that feel both burning hot and icy cold, and after only a few moments of him scissoring you open and toying with your clit, you fall apart on his tongue. You feel boneless by the time he removes his face and hand from your pussy, but you know he's not done. Not even close.
"Open those beautiful legs for me, pretty. I want one more outta you," he commands with a sultry tone as he uncovers himself, his dick smacking against his abdomen with pre-cum pearling at the tip. Without question, you spread them wide for him to slide between.
He glides inside with ease after he lines himself up with your entrance, panting into your mouth at the feeling of you squeezing him tightly the second he slips in. "Fuck, I missed you," he says, his eyes boring into yours with raw emotion.
You keen under him and wrap your legs around him tighter, wanting him as close as possible. "I love you," you whisper into his mouth.
"I love you more," he replies before thrusting his hips sharply. You gasp into his mouth with every snap of his lower half into you, and you clamp down on his arms with your hands to take all the force he's giving you. Reaching your peak, you're unsure if you're unraveling so fast because of how long you've been without him or not, but you don't care. You want to fall apart again sooner rather than later.
"That's it, pretty, take all of it," he grunts when he bottoms out for the umpteenth time. "Such a perfect pussy, wrapped so tight around me."
"Jesus, Weno, I need to come," you whine on his tongue.
"Do it, tiánxīn. I'm close too, want to come with you," he pants. He quickly presses his hand between your bodies to flick at your clit hard and fast, and the cusp of your climax comes. You see white feverish light behind your eyes as you let your body burn in the throes of your orgasm.
Nicholas follows behind with breathless moans of your name and curses, spilling so deeply inside of you that you can feel the warmth of his release in your bones. He doesn't slide out of you, even when his hips slow. He stays intertwined with you as he rolls you both over. His back sticks to the bed as you stretch your body across the top of his, worn out but glowing.
"So, I guess this means I'm your girlfriend now, right?" you ask rhetorically once you've both caught your breath, quirking an eyebrow up at him.
Nicholas chuckles and squeezes you tightly against his chest. "If you know what's good for you. You're all mine now, tiánxīn," he whispers into the shell of your ear before kissing your temple.
As if I wasn't already yours, you think to yourself as you drift. In the moments before slumber takes you, you realize you've never felt more at home in your life than when you're in between Nicholas's arms. And when your eyes close for the night, knowing you'll wake up to the man who calls himself yours, you know your dreams cannot compare to the reality that is right now.
🏷️ 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 (𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘):
@yvampyr @prkhaven @filmnings @nephynes @lunegenic @hoonieyun @v4mpnicho @guliexe @starryjake @jsbluu
🌷 𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗨𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦; 𝖣𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒, 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍, 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾, 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗀𝗂𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗓𝖾, 𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝖽𝗂𝖿𝗒 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄 𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝗌!
