Understanding Noelle Holiday and how she connects to my AU
-TW: mentions of Depression and Suicide
-Disclaimer: To get a better understanding of my AU, read the other posts before this. (First read the summary)
-I don't know how to properly start this other than saying that the Noelle section of this post will be me trying to dissect her writing in the chapter 5 weird route and trying to make sense of it, so if I interpret anything incorrectly please let me know. Also if you couldnt tell from the title, this is also going to be me trying to connect her character to my deltarune AU. That is all for now.
Understanding Noelle Holiday:
-Now overall on what is said in the Chapter 5 weird route is that ever since Dess disappeared, all she's been doing is marching down her path, staying quiet, getting good grades. Noelle also says that it feels like shes been watching herself through glass, watching someone else move her through life, and she wants to break free from this and wants to do something crazy, however she couldnt because she said that she's "just Noelle" However, when Noelle said that Kris actually changed and that they "stopped being kris", that essentially means that they saw someone break their own cycle, and that they stopped mindlessly marching through life. She then states that no one else has noticed Kris change because "they don't want to" and that "they dont want to see how interesting Kris has become". Noelle then states that people will keep marching down the same path without ever thinking where it goes.
-Now to shorten things down, what I understood from this is that ever since Dess went missing, Noelle feels like she's been mindlessly walking through life and has kind of been repeating the same stuff over and over, getting good grades, staying quiet, as she was told to do and she wants to break free from this cycle, but wasn't able to. She then saw other people experience the same things without wanting admit it, even though she didnt want to admit it as well, until she saw Kris break their own cycle.
-So my interpretation of this is that its supposed to be sort of an allegory or representation of depression, having every day feel the same and not being able to change that.
-Ive heard some people say that Noelle wouldve killed herself of we didnt do the weird route + if she didnt get with Susie in the normal route. Idk how much of this is true but I have seen some evidence of Noelle having suicidal thoughts or just being suicidal (ex: giving all her money to susie in the weird route right before doing the lake scene, as some suicidal people give their valuable things to the people they love before attempting suicide, but im not reallt educated in that stuff so take this with a grain of salt)
How it connects:
-(im gonna get into the AU part) Now, a lot of the stuff that we found out about Noelle can be similar to what my character (Kirai) from my deltarune AU, Lutarende has experienced.
-Now to understand a lot of what im about to say, just read the AU if you want to, but a rundown of what Kirai has went through and how its similar to Noelle's experiences is:
Kirai is (literally) trapped in a cycle, because in game yk how the time between chapters 4 and 5 is a couple of hours but irl the wait between chapters 4 and 5 took over a year? Well kirai (the soul) had to wait over a year. How is this worked is that he was as old as Kris but didnt gain consciousness until now, and he was able to access the Chapter select screen, and saw that there was only 4 chapters. To keep things short he had to wait over a year until chapter 5 appeared, but while waiting he repeated each chapter over and over again, cause what else was he supposed to do. In repeating this, he felt like he could barely do anything as Kris was his vessel, and he wanted to break free. Kind of like Noelle wanting to break free from mindlessly walking through life while repeating the same stuff.
When Noelle said that she watched as others mindlessly walked through life and that they didnt want to do anything about it or look at others break from their cycle, it can connect to Kirai's hate for Ralsei, as when chapter 5 appeared, he realized that he saw Ralsei gatekeep and hold back, and Kirai wasnt able to do anything in order to stop him. This also adds on to Kirai feeling trapped as well. (Also I won't get into too much detail for his hate of ralsei but you get the main point)
Take this one with a grain of salt cause again this AU is in its prototype stages but i was thinking about making Kirai sort of suicidal when he was repeating the cycle, purposely not dodging attacks just so he could die but that didnt work. Maybe this could connect to the stuff relating to Noelle also being sort of suicidal, but idk if I'll put this in the AU. If you guys have more evidence of Noelle being suicidal, please let me know
-Now if you've read my AU, you would know that Kirai is a mentor to Noelle, Berdly, and Susie, however he hides his past from them because he's scared of how they'll react (specifically the shit hes done in the weird route), and hes done the ch5 weird route. In doing so he realized that Noelle's pain is similar to his, but he also realized that in the normal route her mental state was not looking very good, and the only thing thats keeping her going is her getting with Susie. So as of right now, in Chapter 2.5, he tries to get Susie with Noelle closer so that they could get together and so Noelle doesn't lose her mind. This is only for now, because in the future this will be very important
-As I said, in the future, im planning to do more with this understanding of each other's pain, but again that will be in the future so I guess you'll have to wait.
-Anyways I'm still working on Chapter 3, so it wont be released too soon. However ill still post some updates, just keep that in mind