PnF Spirit Week 2: May 30th - Any other OWCA Agent
Being one of the rare human field agents in the whole of international OWCA may be a little lonely at times, but Lyla Lolliberry can't really complain, not when her job is amazingly fullfulling, nor when she gets to work with exceptional agents.
given that owca (and its branches) only seems to allow legal animals to become agents, that means that lyla is, legally, an animal, and so my question is, what was she raised by?
PNF Spirit Week Day 10: Teal Duo (Stacy + Perry): Agent P and Agent S sneak peak
For pnfspiritweek, a sneak peak to my long awaited Agent Stacy fanfic! This sneak peak is just an excerpt from a few chapters in the middle, and they'll all be expanded upon! Enjoy!
Stacy now understood why Perry had opted for the Submarine Sandwich Submarine. It wasn’t Monte Carlo they were headed for, but its underground cousin. Or, perhaps, more fittingly, its underWATER cousin.
(One Clue Revealed - Daniel Pemberton)
Lit up like Las Vegas, only with the use of bioluminescent plants and protective anemone casing, the casino building was shaped like a gigantic clam shell, the pearl in the center being the doorway into a seabed of salacious sin. Each guest in attendance, wearing diving gear painted to look like tuxedos, handed in an opal as an entry free. “Talk about your appropriate theming, huh?”, Stacy joked, but Perry was still clearly not in the mood for a little witty banter. He shot her a dry, hard look, and she remembered how little he had slept, how much he had bled so far. Fearing his disapproval, she shifted lanes. “So, you figure L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N are here?”
Perry nodded, offering her his binoculars and pinpointing exactly where she had to look in. Inside, centered at the busiest table, was none other than…
“Mr. Cutie Patootie? What’s he doing here? And why is he so… Bi-pedal?”, Stacy questioned, and Perry sighed and pointed at his fedora, turning it upside down. “He’s an agent too? Or, well, former agent? Dang, is EVERY pet in Danville some kind of secret agent or rogue mercenary?”, she wondered aloud, and Perry shrugged, which wasn’t exactly an encouraging answer.
Crouching down to his level, she copied his serious squint and placed two fingers underneath her chin in thought. “Okay, so, what’s the sitch?”
Perry placed the binoculars on her again and directed her to two sights beyond Dennis: A strange looking lab coat wearing man with a large brown afro, and a twenty something young woman with a ponytail and dark blue eyes, who looked a lot like an agent from O.W.C.A if they were, well, human. Perry then texted Stacy two case files, which she skimmed through.
“So Dr. Broccoli hair over there is some guy called Professor Bannister, and this pretty hot Lyla woman is an agent, and he’s her nemesis, like you and Dr. D?”
Perry nodded, and Stacy followed. “I get it, we need backup, and you think Lyla could be the one to help us avoid your bosses!”
She proudly smirked, hands on her hips. “I’m getting pretty good at this translating you business. Soon I’ll wear a fedora too! Then we can be Fedora Partners!”
Perry shot her an angry and firm chatter, and Stacy rolled her eyes, huffing like a kid. “Team Teal is a great idea and you know it!”. Sighing, she snapped back into mission mode. She couldn’t fumble this. If not this, what would she ever make of herself? “Okay, sourpuss, so how are we getting to Agent Lolyberry without alerting those two villains?”
Perry shook his head, and pointed to the child safety seat he had installed in the Submarine Sandwich Submarine. Stacy turned red. “The day I sit on that again is the day pigs fly! Which, by the way, is totally a weird expression, no? I mean, pigs aren’t that heavy, so if you threw one in one of those medieval timey catapults, they’d probably get some decent air time! You know what makes far more sense? Cows! Cows are heavy, dude! Find me a guy who can lift a cow and then make them fly and I’ll… I’ll do the squirrels in my pants dance!”
Perry raised a single eyebrow, indicating an extra clause that Stacy instantly understood. “Yes, obviously I would track down a squirrel or two and stuff them in my pants! What do I look like to you, a chicken?”
Perry smirked and chattered a snide comment. “Ugh, really? That would let me go on the mission? Real classy!”
Growing desperate, she got on her knees and begged, eyes pleading for a chance. “Come on, Perry! You said it yourself, you’re all alone! No O.W.C.A, no Flynn-Fletchers, no nemesis even! All you have is me!”
Her eyes drooped and her voice sunk even further than the depths they’d already sunk to, as she spoke in the voice of a 16 year old nobody; the only voice she had. “That’s gotta be better than nothing… Right?”
Perry bit his lip, looking at the casino, then back at Stacy. The mission couldn’t be risked, her safety couldn’t be risked, but something inside his semi aquatic heart refused to take that necessary step. Cursing his weakness for children, he narrowed his eyes, sighed, and tossed a tiny gleaming sphere into her hands, Stacy barely holding onto it and falling down onto the ground. When she exhaled from the pain and lifted it to her eyes, she gasped: A tiny, sparkling opal.
“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! EEE!!! This is WAY better than scrubbing the Bettys toilet! Wait right here, I have the PERFECT distraction plan!”, she cheered, rushing off to get them some costumes. Perry shook his head, but an imperceptible smile grew on his beak.
A few costume changing minutes later…
“And… Full House. Again.”, the Croupier, a large Caribbean man dressed like a mermaid, announced the result of the latest round, causing the three other occupants of the large sea anemone table to groan at Dennis the Rabbit, who flashed that “winning” smile, collecting his winnings and stuffing them under his hat (1,000 dollars, a rare Shimmy Jimmy toy, and a LumberZacks flannel shirt scrap). He leaned back on his mollusk shell chair, lighting his carrot like it was a cigar and twirling it, as if to ask if they were up for another round.
“I have alimony due this week, Dennis. Besides, times are too tense right now for extra frivolous spendings. I’ve never seen this place so packed before.”, Professor Exclamation (in a purple tux colored diving suit), waving his pointy hands about, exclaimed (ha), looking around in slight concern. She could be around any corner, with the blasted hamster of hers…
“I mean, I can afford it, obviously, but I’m saving up to invest in this Mother Earth everyone’s yammering about.”, Victor Verliezer, wearing a grey sweatshirt even now, nodded, withdrawing his V-Phone from the table. He just hoped that stupid Murphy kid wasn’t mucking about…
“I must be going anyway, Dennis.”, Dr. Bloodpudding sighed, as his Lily watch (by which I mean, an actual Lily that was attached to his arm through his wrist vessels and operated like a watch) signalled him it was time for… Something. Dennis, who also had a Lily watch, didn’t receive any notification just yet. “Try to not beat them TOO badly. You know how the boss is. She only wants SPECIFIC targets handled.”
Dennis saluted, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed. If none of these losers were gonna try, who could he embarrass? He yawned, only to widen his eyes and nearly choke on his carrot as he noticed two very strange figures enter the club.
(Double Life - Pharrell Williams)
Wearing cascading black curly hair, a lab coat and leather pants combo, a fake nose ring, silver chains, an “I love Evil” necklace, and an outrageous black top hat, Perry the Platypus didn’t feel quite so confident in his disguise. Mostly because it was about as subtle as a hammer to the testicles. He snapped his fingers around and kept up the cool rocker/evil scientist facade, emitting out half “hey, it’s you!”’s at the villains around him. Just for good measure, he growled at a passing by puppy, which made him feel bad, but this was kind of life and death.
Stacy, meanwhile, swaggered across the floor with insurmountable faith in her plan. Wearing a tight fitting arm-length blood orange colored leather jacket, tight peach orange pants, pastel peach medieval high-heeled boots, a Carmen Miranda fruit hat and teal colored shades, she kept “talking on her phone” (hoping no one would notice she was supposedly calling her “Plants vs Zombies” app), talking very loudly, which was not exactly what you’d expect on a spy mission. “OMG, Orsi! I told you once, I told you exactly 37 times, my client does NOT accept UNESCO heritage sites! If you don’t start offering the good stuff, I’m afraid your office will only be the first on our list of places to take! Now, stop wasting my time, I’ve got a copyright infringement case with Love Handel on the other line.”
Sighing, she pretended to only now notice the table they stopped at, and then attempted to start a connection with the villains before her. ‘Ugh, Uruguay, right? More like U R… Not accepting my offers. Anyway, I see that you reserved the best table for a true evil scientist.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I haven’t seen this guy once in my life!”, Dr. Bloodpudding protested, insulted at the insinuation that there was a famous evil scientist he wasn’t aware of. Dennis narrowed his eyes, meanwhile, the blue pupils analyzing every semi-aquatic detail. Why was that platypus so familiar?
Perry and Stacy both froze for a second, as the latter choked out a lame retort, a few grapes falling from her fruit wig. “Oh, um, are you serious? Have you REALLY not heard of the pronounced prodigy, Professor Portent? He’s the next big thing in evil! You know that thing that happened in, um, Swamp City? Yeah, so, he did that! Don’t ask for details, he’s allergic to those.”
The lie was terrible, but the original intent of the disguises had worked. Dennis shook his head, reassuring Dr. Bloodpudding: Perry the Platypus would NEVER go for such a terribly obvious plan.
He waved at the table, allowing “Professor Portent” to take a seat right by Professor Exclamation and Victor Verliezer, who both decided to stay, curious about this new player. Staring back at Stacy, she flashed a secret thumb’s up. “What did I say?”, she whispered, leaning in to his, um, ear, I suppose. “The only thing better than a good disguise, is one so bad no one accepts it’s one.”
Perry saw the pride shimmering in her eyes, pride he’d seen before in a girl he considered his own kit, Candace, and he decided to let her have this moment, offering a nod of professional approval.
“Can you call my mom and tell her that?”, she asked, awe stricken. Approval from the best (and only) secret agent she knew? Perhaps she was a little desperate for some, but man, did it go a long way!
“Are you joining the table too, um…”, Professor Exclamation squinted, wishing she had a name tag. Stacy, remembering her assignment, shook her head and pretended she was expecting a busy call. “McGee. Fruitloops McGee. And nope, sorry, I’m still negotiating Tobias Trollhammer. He’s gonna play the Prof in his first UN threat video, we’re calling it “Gimmie All Your Nukes”. Straight to the point, you know?”, she excused herself, backing away slowly and disappearing into the crowd.
“That IS straight to the point. I like your style, Portent!”, Verliezer complimented, settling into his seat to see how this platypus handles Dennis, who cracked his paws and snapped at the Croupier to deal out some cards.
“It’s getting late and we’re all pretty tired of seeing this overgrown lagomorph win, so let’s keep it simple, one last round. Draw poker, and Professor P over here will deliver the small blind.”, the Croupier explained in a droll monotone, dealing the cards that were in his seashell bra. Perry nodded, placing down 50$ worth of chips. Dennis whistled casually, placing the big blind: 100$.
5 cards dealt to each. Perry looked at his, and since they weren’t playing, Professor Exclamation and Victor Verliezer stole glances at his hand: the 8 of diamonds, the 2 of hearts, the 4 of hearts, the 7 of clubs and the 9 of spades. The two kept their poker faces on, but it was obvious, Perry was gonna lose. A high card of 9? Even if he exchanged, he was unlikely to get anything that good.
Whatever Dennis had seemed pretty good: the smug bastard couldn’t keep his smirk off.
“Well, looks like we stayed for nothing…”, Professor Exclamation whispered, only for Perry to reject exchanging his cards, wagging his finger at the Croupier. The two others barely kept their disbelief in, out of simple Poker etiquette.
Dennis clicked his tongue, impressed by the confidence. Surely the guy was bluffing though… Which meant he could afford a heftier bet. Once Perry raised by a 125$, he raised by 175$, bringing the total so far to 450$, about half the usual earnings of a round at Tranche Carlo.
“You’re not gonna win like this…”, Verliezer commented quietly, and Perry knew that. He kept a straight face, but truthfully he was fighting his milk sweat like crazy. Dennis was academy trained, like him. Any tic could be a giveaway. He needed to turn the tables around from his weakness to the rabbit’s: Cockiness. Well, that and carrots.
Suddenly, instead of calling the 175$ and laying his cards face up, Perry tossed a bunch of golden carrots. The table collectively gasped. “I heard those go for 12K a stick! Even I find that exorbitant!”, Verliezer remarked, as he and the others all stared in utter dismay at the platypus before them. How the heck had he got his hands on them?
Perry just hoped they wouldn’t notice they were painted.
But rather than get nervous or annoyed, Dennis reacted EXACTLY how Perry wanted him to: his eyebrow rose, his lip curled and his eyes gleamed. He was being challenged, and he RELISHED the opportunity to mock the ones who dared do that. Raising his bet, he added the spoon that is also magic prop from “Larry the Magic Boy and the Spoon That is Also Magic” movie, a prop that would probably go for 450K. Exclamation and Verliezer didn’t even need to comment. The Croupier’s seashell bikini fell in shock (revealing another one underneath). This round had gone from a casual final one, to a deadly finish.
And it got worse.
Perry raised with half of Bobbi Fabulous’ outfits. Dennis slammed down the lost Amulet of Juatcadoon. Perry placed down a key inscribed for the Arc of the Covenant. Dennis slide gold bars from Fort Knox. Perry hauled onto the table the entire treasure of the Sierra Madre. Dennis set down one cup… Full of water from the Fountain of Youth.
“ALL THIS OVER A HIGH CARD?!”, Verliezer and Exclamation thought, hugging each other in terror. Why would Professor Portent take such a risk? Surely his bluff was obvious?
But all this was part of Perry’s plan. Unfortunately, Dennis wasn’t biting just yet. Perry had to go for something not big… But personal. Enough so to get Dennis to finally bet what he wanted him to.
Even if it meant giving away his own soul.
Fingers tapping nervously on the table, eyes shaking with fear, and heart palpitating with guilt, Perry finally placed down one last item: his food bowl, marked “Perry”. The terrible thud it made on the table was only a fraction of the thud his own heart made as it crashed down his chest. If he didn’t win this quick, his tears would mix with the milk sweat.
While the others clearly didn’t get the significance, Dennis did. Either this really was Perry, or this Professor Portent had killed him, for how else would Perry give up his most prized possession?
Either way… He was gonna take ALL this from Perry or the hotshot that stole his victory over the blasted platypus!
Grinning, he called the bet with his own impossible to beat stake: A folder marked “Secret Orders” from Mother Earth, his current employer. Perry tried not to swipe it instantly out of instinct: He could enjoy the feeling of victory in his paws once he got out of there.
However, his soul sunk alongside his heart: Dennis hadn’t taken the bait. He wasn’t going to fold. He had given it all away on one bet, all because he was that desperate and that stubborn in his ability to read the rabbit’s mind. Visions of the Flynn-Fletcher’s fluttering away made him want to cough out blood. It was over…
Dennis laughed, eager to rub this victory in the egg laying mammal’s face. To think he could win all that… With a terrible hand!
Slamming his cards face up, he revealed a high card…
Of 8.
From utter heartbreak to euphoria… But Perry wasn’t gonna give Dennis the satisfaction. He’d play it cool.
He could cry about it later.
Slowly, gently, placing his hand up, he revealed the high card of 9, and winked.
“PERRY!”, his theme song jingled in the background, thankfully unheard by all.
Meanwhile..
“Dooby dooby doo-bah, dooby dooby doo-bah, dooby dooby doo-bah, dooby dooby doo-bah, Stacyyyy…”, Stacy sang to herself as she “subtly” tip toed across the floor towards Agent Lyla Lolliberry and Professor Bannister’s area. The latter was chatting it up with some old looking lady (Perry had once mentioned her, no? Poofenplotz, perhaps) and an even stranger looking fellow in a fireman outfit with a head of flames… Who could that be?
“No, no, focus, Stacy!”, she chided herself, clenching her fists as she hid behind the punch bowl, looking at the villains. “You can’t waste this like you wasted that seminar! You HAVE to finally prove you have the skills for… Well, for something! This is it! Lock in!”
She turned around, ready to stare at Lyla, only to meet those dark blue eyes through the other side of the punch bowl. “New to this, eh?”, she asked, chuckling, lifting up and leaning on the wall, suave, confident and just a little sassy.
Stacy, turning quite red in the face, tipped a banana from her fruit wig. “Oh, um, hi! I’m Fruitloops McGee…”
“Really? ‘Cause you look a heck of a lot like Stacy Hirano.”, Lyla countered, chuckling. She found this girl quite amusing already. “Also, no offense, but I’m a little old for you, sweetheart.”
Stacy blushed even harder, stammering now. “W…What, no, I… Okay, you’re very pretty, but… Wait, that’s not why I’m here! I was gonna see if… Wait, no, I can’t tell you, oh dang it, I’m ruining it!”
“Woah, woah, settle down! Rookie mistakes!”, Lyla reassured Stacy, patting her back. Stacy felt a little bit better at that, admittedly. “Though, I didn’t know O.W.C.A sends out academy graduates that young. C.O.W.C.A certainly doesn’t. And where’s your fedora?”, she asked, staring all over the girl in confusion. Stacy sighed, waving her hand in annoyance. “It’s a whole thing, he doesn’t think I can be anything more than a secret keeper.”
“Heh, yeah, Perry sure takes his time warming up to help. I’m sure he will soon.”, Lyla laughed warmly, remembering her original encounter with the teal agent. Stacy then squinted, confused. “Wait… How do you know me?”
“Oh, he’s talked about you a few times. It’s why I’m not karate chopping you on the neck right now. He really seems to trust and appreciate you.”, Lyla remarked, showing off a karate chop, but Stacy was far more preoccupied with the first part of the sentence. Did… Did he really think of her that way?
Suddenly, the two heard a strange noise, and Lyla held Stacy to a wall, hiding her. “Quiet, some of them are going somewhere.”, she shushed, and Stacy nodded, letting the more experienced agent take the lead. As they both peeped out, they saw a secret door marked “Villains” and one marked “Henchmen”.
“Perfect! You’re kinda dressed like one! I assume your cover?”, Lyla asked, and Stacy nodded, wishing her disguise wasn’t THAT obvious. Had her plan even worked?
“Okay, you go in then, find out what’s going on!”, Lyla cried, pushing her in. “Wait, I’m not ready!”, Stacy shouted, but it was too late. She was inside now.
Looking up, she expected maybe a bunch of inators, like Doof always had, or maybe some evil robots, or even a Pistachion, that was a thing once, no?
Instead she was met with a ton of hippie looking people, all on their knees, bowing over and over towards a hedge trimmed statue…
One that could blink and smile.
“ALL HAIL MOTHER EARTH! ALL HAIL MOTHER EARTH! ALL HAIL MOTHER EARTH!”, the henchman chanted, over and over and over again, while above them hung a map, with a giant X marked on Danville.
“Great Googly Moogly…”, Stacy whispered, a shiver running down her spine.
