Cw: abuse. Being around an emotionally volatile person who has abused you, made you think your thoughts and feelings are ridiculous, criticized you to your very core, screams and rages whenever they don’t get their way, refuses to acknowledge the harm they cause, has threatened you emotionally, financially, and physically, told you that you should’ve not been born, told you that there is something wrong with you (simply because you call out their behavior), told you that you are rotten, expects you to be submissive, considerate, a mind-reader, caring to their every need and whim— and most of all, rages that you’re the abusive one simply because you’re trying to ask for basic human decency.
It is madness.
It is madness that my family sits and watches it happen. It is madness that I am alone, caught in the wave, spinning and spinning and spinning. It is madness that she hurts other innocent creatures with her selfish ways, honoring her neuroticism & her stress at the cost of others. (Nothing wrong with being neurotic, just that she doesn’t care about others.)
I don’t even think I can process how traumatizing this all is right now. On top of everything I’m going through, everything I need, my own mother acts like a toddler + uses her position of power to hurt me.
