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My morning mantras that i usually do at 2:30 in the afternoon when i finally remember to do them are as follows:
Everyday i’m falling more in love
Everyday i’m becoming more unhinged
Everyday i’m learning better how to let go of this body in order to make room for the collective…
With a new name, and a deadly grace, The Collective does lay claim to this body, and we wear his face.
Hey, I just want to know how I can tell my parents that I want to see a physiologist. Lately I've just been out of it and just sitting in my room because I don't want to annoy anyone. But I don't know how to ask and also I don't want to be a burden by wanting to go.
Hey Anon,
First of all, wanting to take care of yourself and seeking help for that is in no way being a burden. It’s a great step you took to admit that you wanted to go see a physiologist, and an even bigger one to try and find ways to tell your parents about it.
Now, you don’t really say if your parents are open about that kind of things, but in any case, my advice would be this: stay true to yourself.Meaning that when you talk about it, talk about your feelings, about how you feel like you need help from a specialist right now, how much their support is important to you, how you need their help in the process…
You can also prepare yourself. Have a list a physiologist around your location ready, so that you can say “I need that; here’s what I found available for me”. Try to put words on what you need help with beforehand, so that you can tell them (if you feel like it) why you feel like you need a physiologist.
I’m sure it’s gonna go great; just remember to stay true, to focus on the important part, and be ready to start the work with your physiologist :D
Love,
M.M.C.
I'm 19, female and a bit pudgy. I'm a uk size 14, but my boobs are quite big. The problem is, whenever I go to try and shop for clothes, the styles I like ten to either not stock my size at all or have the 14 be much too small in the chest- I'm actually quite content with my body, chub and all, but going shopping for clothes always brings me down :/ as a result, I wear the same things again and again until they're worn out. Do you know any brands that do DECENT clothes for bigger women?
Hey Anon!
I get what you mean about being brought down by clothes shopping; but I’m really glad to hear that you don’t let the common clothes stores make you feel uncomfortable in your body! They always mess up something, and create mostly clothes based on a weird-almost-non-existing-mannequin shape.
Now, what I do is mostly shop on line, where all the clothes measurements are usually indicated, making it quite simple to find something that fits.
Otherwise, I don’t really know of any specific brand. Can our followers help out on that?
Keep rocking that awesome body of yours, Anon!
Love, M.M.C.
Hi this might be a weird thing to ask, but you see I've had this follower for ages, and he's really nice. He complements me everytime I post a selfie and isn't creepy at all, just really civil. The problem is, I can be SUPER paranoid about people on the internet and even though he's never done anything creepy I can't help but be a little anxious when people say nice things about me on the internet. How can I let him know I'm a bit uncomfortable without hurting his feelings? He's really nice =//
Hey Anon!
Being careful and uncomfortable about someone complimenting you on the internet is not being paranoid, it’s being safe. You never know who’s behind the ask or the reblog, so it’s totally normal to feel weird about it!
What I would advise is to be straightforward with him: you noticed and received his comments and compliments, and these were nice things to say, but you feel a bit uncomfortable. He hasn’t done anything creepy, but you are very aware that identity is an easy thing to fake or alter on the internet, and you’d rather have him stop commenting on everything you post, because it makes you feel anxious.
The old “it’s not you, it’s me” is always appropriate.
After that, depending on what you want, you can maybe tell that you’d rather get to know him before accepting any other comments he might make about you. But that’s only if you feel comfortable and actually want to know him.If not, it’s okay, just stick with the fact that he needs to back off. And his answer to your demand might help you learn a lot about him. Remember, if he’s being an asshole about it, or start harassing you, or just pleads his case in a way that makes you uncomfortable, block the guy. Your personal well-being is more important than a stranger’s entitlement feelings.
Stay safe,
M.M.C.
so I hate bitching about how badly my injuries from self harm hurt because, you know it`s kind of my fault. In any case I had these scrapes on the inside of my calves from self harming, and I promised a woman at my barn I`d exorcise her horse, and the scrapes rubbed so badly that now there`s blood all over my nice saddle. So I`m kind of in a world of hurt, and there`s no one I can really complain to, so I`m sorry.
Oh Love!
It’s okay! You’re allowed to complain about pain, even if at first it was self-inflicted! You hear people complaining about tattoos all the time, don’t you?
And you’re not even complaining about the self-harm itself, but about how some unhealed wounds have been reopened while you were doing something nice for someone else (and maybe you liked doing it too!).
It’s okay. You’re not bitching, you’re fairly complaining about something that must (pardon my French) hurt like a bitch. You’re welcome to come here and complain about it all you want.
For next time you have to do some physical exercise that might affect wounded areas of your body, you can try gauzing your wounds and tape it carefully, so that it wouldn’t rub so hard on it. And try and take care of your wounds! Disinfect them and bandaged them if you can, especially after wild rubbing from a horse or a saddle on it!
Those wounds will heal, and it will get better. If you ever feel up to it, you can visit this page that offers alternative to self-harm.
But feel free to come back to us if you need to, and in the meantime, take care of yourself.
Love,M.M.C.
Sorry, I know you're busy, but how do you know if you need counselling?
Hi Anon!!
First, never apologize for coming here. Even if we were incredibly busy, you’d still have every right to come and ask us something. That’s what we’re here for.
About your question. The fact that you are wondering if you need counseling or not tells me that trying, even for one session, might be a good idea.You see, counseling, therapy, that’s not about being broken, or crazy. Sometimes, you just feel like you need to sort something out. Sometimes you just feel weird. And counseling can help for all this. You don’t have to be severely depressed to go to therapy; it’s not something you have to deserve! You can go whenever, if you feel like you need it, or if you’re not sure about whether you do!
So my advice would be: seek a counselor or a therapist, and explain. Explain that you’re not sure if you actually need them. You will then probably discuss with them about you, your life, etc, and they will give you their professional opinion. Because greedy and unprofessional people exist, you can try several professionnals to get several opinions, and then decide. Usually, the first session is free; if you can’t find anyone that offers a free first session and that you’re tight on the money, try this helpful article.
I hope you find what you’re seeking, and know that you can always come back here to talk, even about the smallest things!
Love,
M.M.C.
I don't know how to relax. I panic way too easily, and I'm always on edge. What do I do?
Hey Anon!
The advice I’m gonna give you here are things that have worked with friends of mine and myself when in state of big stress/beginning of panick attacks. Everyone has a different way to calm down, but I think this can give you a few ideas.
First, if you’re in a specific situation that induces stress (someone or something, on tv or in the room, that makes you uncomfortable), try and get out if possible. You can either be honest (“sorry, this makes me very uncomfortable/this stresses me out, I need a moment”), or, if your feelings cannot be accepted by the people around you or if you don’t feel safe telling the truth, invent something (homeworks to do, you have to pee, you forgot something in another room, you have a phone call to make, if it’s in a classroom you can say you feel really bad and might throw up, etc…). If you don’t have anyway to get out, focus on you. Focus on how you breathe (but don’t hyperventilate! Just breath slowly), on your heartbeat, hold yourself if it makes you feel better. The point is to hold on without a huge panic breakout until the stress-inducing situation is over.
Second. If the stress isn’t induced by something exterior that you can take yourself away from (if it’s stuff you think about, something that is going to happen like a job or a new school, if it just comes out of nowhere), then what you have to do is what I call an inside job. The work is going to take place inside of your head and your body.Here is something you can do.
Stop what you’re doing.
Sit down if you can, or find a position you’re comfortable with.
If you were in the dark in your bed, sit back down and turn the light on. It’ll help you focus on the now.
Breathe. As before, count your breathing, take a couple really deep breaths that you feel in your whole body, then normal breaths. (But don’t hyperventilate!)
While breathing, focus on relaxing your muscles. Let go, don’t contract your arms, your legs, try and imagine a wave going through your limbs when you breathe out.
Talk to yourself. I find that if I just speak in my head, it is not as powerful as when I do it out loud, but it’s up to you. It can really be simple things to say:
"It’s gonna be okay"
"You’re fine, you’re alive"
"You’re gonna make it"
Maybe try and list the things you know people like about you. Even if you don’t really believe them, repeating that you’re smart, funny, capable, pretty, can help. Even if you don’t see it in yourself, other people that you care about do.
Let yourself cry if needed.
Repeat until you feel more relaxed. It can take time, and it’s okay.
If you don’t feel yourself relaxing, and start shaking, or feel kinda out of your body, you can also try and sit down in a hot shower. Let yourself be surrounded by warmth, and let the stress stream down the pipes with the water.
I hope this is going to help you Anon. I really think the key is to focus on the now, and to breathe.Come back to us if you need anything.
Love,
M.M.C.
