#mac rendell

[queenclaudiabrown]

Toby, texting: who else is in the freezer room trying to listen to evan and dylan’s conversation?

Sam: i'm in the hamper

Leeds: i'm under the table

Mac: i'm in the closet

Toby: we accept you Mac <3

Mac: no, i'm literally in the closet

Leeds: love is love man

[incorrectprimeval]

Dylan: Are you actually gonna throw away all your convictions for a chance to get laid?

Mac: I don't really have any convictions.

[incorrectprimeval]

Mac: How did I break my wrist? wrong answers only.

Toby: Smacking the West Virginia Mothman statue’s juicy metal ass so hard it shattered?

Mac: I said wrong answers only.

[incorrectprimeval]

Dylan: So what are you doing for Valentines Day?

Toby: Oh, the usual. Mac and I go to the drugstore and buy all the Valentines Day cards and then we watch all the forgetful husbands panic.

[incorrectprimeval]

Mac: Butter is just food lotion.

Dylan: There is something seriously wrong with you...

[incorrectprimeval]

Toby: Alright, we need to get through this locked door. Evan, give me your credit card.

Evan: Here.

Toby: [Pockets it] Thanks. Mac, destroy the door.

[incorrectprimeval]

Mac: I chose to leave for five years to study so I can be financially stable for whomever I'm spending the rest of my life with!

Toby: ... What?

Mac: You want to be a dinosaur hunter, right? That's an incredibly risky field with no pay... so I just thought that I'd study hard and be financially stable enough for the both of us. If you choose me, that is..

Toby: What?

Mac: Stop saying what.

Toby: ... YOU THINK I'D STILL BE SINGLE AFTER FIVE YEARS?!

[incorrectprimeval]

Mac: I make great decisions under pressure.

[Ten minutes later]

Evan: Mac, what the fuck is that?

Mac: It’s an alpaca! I bought the last one.