Things Absolutely Said On BBC's Primeval

Penned by God

[incorrectprimeval]

Abby: I’ve been meaning to ask you something.

Jess: Go on.

Jess: Only if I concentrate very hard.

Abby: Can you read my mi-

Abby: What the fuck?

[incorrectprimeval]

[incorrectprimeval]

Jess: Who's ready for Therapy Thursday?! We got some catching up to do!

Matt: Jess, it's Friday.

Jess: ...

Jess: Who's ready for Fun-Therapy Friday?!

[incorrectprimeval]

Becker: Love is a weakness. It’s an evolutionary mistake.

Abby: You’re literally making a Valentine’s Day card for Jess right now.

Becker: [Pointing a glue gun at her] You’re on thin fucking ice.

[incorrectprimeval]

Connor: [Holding a rock]

Matt: Nice rock

Connor: Thanks, Becker gave it to me!

Becker: I threw it at you!

[incorrectprimeval]

Becker: Connor, don't ever antagonize a man who can answer the question 'you and what army?'.

[incorrectprimeval]

Connor: I love you.

Abby: How many people have you told that same thing to?

Connor: Everyone.

Abby: Everyone?

Connor: Yes. I tell everyone that I love you.

[incorrectprimeval]

Danny: I think it ill behooves us—

Connor: Behooves? What, are we in the cavalry now?

[incorrectprimeval]

Stephen: You risked your life for a . . . a ketchup on rye?!

Connor: With butter and lettuce!

[incorrectprimeval]

Christine: Who are they?

Lester: Temple and Maitland.

Christine: Which is which?

Lester: Doesn't matter, they're interchangeable.

[incorrectprimeval]

Becker: Who put water in my gun?

Connor: How do you know it's water?

[incorrectprimeval]

Matt: [regarding a requisition of an incubator being denied] We're not asking for a jukebox or a pizza oven.

Lester: Oh, those I can let you have.

Connor: No kidding! Hey, those would be great on movie nights. You got any pizza requisition forms?

Lester: Just use the standard S stroke 1798 and write in "Pizza" where it says "Machine Gun".

[incorrectprimeval]

Matt: You're out of uniform!

Emily: [Looking at her outfit] Where?

Matt: How about my office in five minutes?

[incorrectprimeval]

Matt: Jess, do you know what a hero is? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, somebody who's tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn.

[incorrectprimeval]

Abby: Are you married?

Emily: Sort of.

Abby: Sort of married? That's like being sort of a virgin.

[incorrectprimeval]

Hall: Childish. Not childlike, with its connotations of innocence and joyous abandon, but childish. You delight in petty bickering, summer-camp capers, and in general, behave in a manner ill befitting officers in the Canadian Army, and members of the scientific profession. It is, to some degree, understandable. You are, after all, constantly bombarded with creatures from a distant past. You would not be the first people to crack under the stress of such circumstances.

Ken: I resent that, Sir. I, for one, have not cracked because of the dinosaurs.

Evan: That's true, Colonel.

Ken: Thank you, Evan.

Evan: Leeds showed up here cracked, with a gun in one hand, and a pair of shorts that said, 'Hold Me' in the other.

[incorrectprimeval]

Matt: [looking for maps of the arc] Why aren't they under "M"?

Jess: Because they're under "B" for "boom."