I think it should be illegal how good these pregnancy/ single parent fics are. Like who told you that I want a lil baby on my hip to absolutely body these men? Who told you that yes, I am soft for a big ole man who will buy my weird ass cravings and I ain't even let him in my bedroom yet. Just seeing the way a person treats a parent and their kids without even wanting anything in return is peak vibe check.
John Mactavish who has a thing with perfumes, like you get a new one. Mind you you aren’t even in a relationship with him at this point and he just grabs your wrist and holds it up to his nose and goes “aye a gourmand.” like what the fuck?
And it gets to the point where if you wear a perfume you have to go out of your way to avoid him lest you experience the joy of a drug dealer face to face with a sniffer dog. When he does eventually find you he’s on you in a shot and god if he doesn’t like the perfume?
It’s like getting a bad grade, he shakes his head and walks off without a word. Eventually you graduate to him coming up and shoving his face into your neck and oddly enough since the army offers so little physical touch that he is giving you, you submit to it.
And when he walks into the room you catch yourself craning your neck to the side slightly automatically, did this motherfucker Pavlov’s dog you?
“Top notes of…bergemont..patchuli?” he sniffs a little bit with a smirk on his face “good job.” he gives you a nice pat on the back and walks off and you can hear gaz chuckle as he tracks you reaction.
“He’s got you wrapped around his finger mate.” he laughs as he leaves with his tea. but what if you like it?
Ficbook.net and Unauthorized Translations - An Update
Update to the update: some of the fics have been removed! 🎉
This happened before I finished this write-up even!
You may have seen this post last night about some CoD X Reader fics having unauthorized translations posted to the Russian site ficbook.net. @karlachismylife was monumental in helping me understand what's going on, and there's some explanation in that link from her POV as well.
Basically - multiple people have copied and translated fanfics into Russian and hosted them on ficbook.net. They're rough translations, some going as far as to use literal translations for turns of phrase. Most likely, they were run through a translation software (Google Translate or similar) and then roughly edited. (Juju mentioned that there is a subset of jobs in Russia where that is your job description. 😖)
Most of them have come from Tumblr posts, some from AO3. Very few had attribution beyond "tagging" the original author. (Aka - no consent was given for these translations.)
@syoddeye took the time to compile a list found here (google sheet). At the time of writing, 65 fics CoD x Reader fics were found - we know there's more but we only have so many knives in a day. (Sy did not look into slash fics either.)
Authors that have been tagged in the comments: I'm sorry you found out this way. I wanted to tell you in person, but given Tumblr's likelihood of thinking I was spamming you, I felt that this was the best option to alert you, provide you with options, and let you determine how you wish to move forward.
So what can be done?
If you already have an account, please report the fics! I'm told that spamming reports gets it taken down. Also consider messaging the author and ask them to remove them - they do not have the author's consent to publish them.
If you want to make an account and report the linked fics, you can. I have chosen not to, because I don't want to give Ficbook any extra support I otherwise might by doing so (clicks, ad views, account numbers).
If the author does not have closed comments (or you have an account), you can leave a comment on the fic.
Russian:
Автор оригинала лично подтвердил, что не давал разрешения на перевод и публикацию.
English: Author of the work personally confirmed that they did not give permission to translate and publish.
Finally - check in on your author friends that are on that list. It's devastating to find out your work has been plagiarized, translated and hosted somewhere else without your consent. Reblog their work, share comments, hype them up!
A couple of notes:
(Juju correct me if I've fucked any of this up 💚)
The posters are likely not making money off the unauthorized translations. The website and their owners definitely are (ads, "premium features", promotion tools, etc.)
Ficbook.net is the biggest Russian language fanfiction platform - somewhat akin to AO3, but it doesn't have a great reputation within Russian circles because of the stealing and underhanded practices the owners use.
AO3 is banned in Russia, and Tumblr is one of the few places Russians can easily (aka without VPNs and Mirrors) read English version of fanfic.
CoD isn't the only fandom affected - there are dozens that have more posted, and we only scratched the surface in our list.
Finally, if you want to translate works, TALK TO THE AUTHOR. A lot of folks don't like having their work shared without their consent. Even if you feel like you are doing a good thing spreading it to a wider audience, YOU NEED THE AUTHOR'S CONSENT. If they've deleted their presence and their stories from hosting sites (tumblr, AO3, etc) - you don't get to pretend you're doing them a favor by reposting them. Respect their decisions.
Baker!Johnny x gn!reader Part 3
I missed these two and their flirting. I love them so much. It's honestly a bit disheartening how little attention and love they get but I decided that I don't care. They have my heart and soul and I want to be invited to their wedding (if they ever manage to get that far).
As always let me know if I messed up the readers description anywhere.
Warnings: horrible flirting, Johnny being down bad.
Part 2 | COD Masterlist | (Part 4)
It’s early, the night sky only just giving way to the grey morning air, preparing for the sun to rise. Johnny likes these early mornings when he gets to work in concentrated silence, gets to try what makes his creations come out best.
The bakery is not open yet, which is why Johnny is entirely unprepared for you to stick your head through the door smiling faintly while he arranges the display to his liking.
“Morning, MacTavish. I have to go in early for work but I just realized you’re not open yet. Is there any chance you have any leftovers from yesterday, that I could take to go?”
Johnny grins at the way you’re stuck at the door, evidently not wanting to come in when he’s technically not open yet. “Ye can come in, bonny. A’m not going tae bite, not unless ye ask fur it.”
At that you fully open the front door and walk up to the counter. He can’t help but whistle lowly when he sees the suit you’re wearing and you grin confidently, your hands casually hidden in the pockets of your pants. You slowly rock from your forefoot to your heels and back, eyeing the baked goods for a moment before looking at him again. “I think you have a bit of drool there, MacTavish. Looks like you’d like to bite after all.”
He can feel himself light up with the restless buzzing energy you always set free in him. Truth be told, he always has loads of energy but with you it feels like an entire swarm of bees is set loose in his body. It’s nervous and jittery and new. Very enjoyable, he decides.
Deliberately he licks his lower lips and lets his eyes rake up and down your body slowly. The suit makes your legs look even longer than usually and you have an almost regal air about you. The way your coat is casually slung over your shoulders makes him want to stride up to you and push it off, let his hands wander down your sides appreciatively and get a handful of you.
“Luckily fur ye ah have guid self-control. Unless you want me tae let go o’ it.”
You incline your head a mischievous glint in your eyes, your voice dropping slightly. “Now where would be the fun in that, pretty boy. I’d much rather watch you try to keep it together.”
The petname almost makes his knees buckle and his next breath is more a shaky sigh. Fucking hell, what are you doing to him. How can you stand there, looking so outrageously gorgeous and have the nerve to tease him?
Trying to hide his flustered state, he leans his hip against the counter and crosses his arms, trying to put his thick biceps on show for you. “A've got a batch o` yer fave pastries in the oven, they should be done in a few minutes, if ye have the time.”
Your eyes light up at that and you pretend to swoon. “You are the absolute best. What would I do without your sweets. My poor clients would have to deal with me in a grumpy mood.”
Johnny eyes your expressive face, the laugh lines around your mouth contradicting what you just said. Johnny tries to stop himself from smiling as hard as you do but he can’t. It’s too contagious.
“Dinnae fuck wi' me. Ye haven't been in a bad mood a day in yer life.”
You laughter rings out at that, melodic and beautiful, and he finds himself chuckling along. The way you throw your head back is absolutely breathtaking and it makes the coat slip off of your shoulders. Swiftly you turn and catch it before it hits the ground.
Casually you throw the coat over one shoulder, turning back to him and he swears you have to be a model on the side. There is no way that you are real and just look like that.
When you meet his eyes again he already knows that you’re going to hit him with another cheeky remark. “Look at that. Charming me right out of my clothes, MacTavish.”
He barks a sharp laugh his chest feeling light, like it’s filled with candy cotton. “Ah must be daein' a piss poor job if ye'r only losing th' jacket.”
Suddenly you’re right at the counter, so close he swears he can smell your delicious scent. Your eyes are slightly shadowed from the way you look down at him but the amused glitter in them steals his breath anyway. “Maybe if you play your cards right I’ll lose more clothes next time.”
He’s hyperventilating. Someone should call a fucking medic. Flashes of you without clothes cross his mind and he tries hard to hold onto one of those images but he can’t, they’re too vague. He needs to know what you look like under your suit. If he doesn’t get more of you he’ll die of thirst, he’s sure of it.
“Ye will nae hae tae lose them if ye let me tak' them off fur ye.” His voice is even raspier than usually but he doesn’t clear his throat. People dig the roughness and he can see something in your eyes flash for a second, though it looks more like amusement and that realization is slightly jarring, when his entire being is alight with desire for you.
“That is a privilege you’ll have to earn, pretty boy.”
The confidence makes him want to crawl to you on his hands and knees and he’s about to say that he’d do anything to earn it, when the oven beeps for his attention and you visibly perk up, the tension shattering like fragile glass.
You’re already giddy for the sweets and he can feel his heartbeat thunder in his ears. How come you’re never affected by your conversations?! What does he have to do to fluster you too? Flirt harder?
“That's mah cue. Ah don’t want tae make ye late fur work.”
Even though the disappointment of your indifference to his flirting weights heavy, it doesn’t take long for him to pack you as many pastries as you want after that and he makes sure to prepare your coffee exactly how you like it.
The smile on your face when you turn to leave is friendly but casual. No trace of the earlier flirting left and he groans as he watches you walk out, cursing your coat for covering your ass. He’s sure it looks spectacular in those well-fitting suit pants.
A loud groan of frustration tears from his throat. Luckily he’ll have another half an hour before any other customers come in. That’s enough time to calm himself down and get his heartbeat under control.
He needs a battle plan, some way he can up his flirting and make sure you know it’s not just meaningless banter with you. No he wants that every day. He wants to see you outside of his bakery, to hold your hand and feel your beautiful fingers on his skin. Maybe he should ask the guys. No he’s not that desperate. Not yet, anyway.
For now he turns to put the next batch of fresh buns in the oven.
Just came from a walk with the fam (finally got my ass out lol but anyway) and some fit dude camed jogging and i swear to you he reminded of Soap sm idk why
So now it made think of jogging with John on the park in the afternoon, him liking to show off his speed, smirking as he see you furrow your eyebrows at him but always waits for you to catch up to him
Him piggyback carrying ya when he sees you need to breath instead of letting you seat down (show off 😒) him just smiling sweetly at the sound of your giggles as you playfully smack his back as he starts speeding up
Will he get muscle pain? Probably, very much so.
Does he care? No. Addolutely not.
He just wants to spend time with you cuz he missed you sm <33
Hii I sent in a request and I totally forgot to put which prompt list 😂 SORRY! So can I pleeease have 2. "I'm perfectly fine!" | "Bull! You're bleeding out on my carpet, you idiot!" And 48. Can you sit still for five minutes?" With soap mactavish pleasssse [sorry again] 💚💚
Doctor, Doctor, I’ve Done Goofed | Captain MacTavish/Soap x Reader
Thanks for the clarification, and you're all good. I hope you enjoy this oneshot. I had a fun time writing it.
Prompts:
2. "I'm perfectly fine!" | "Bull! You're bleeding out on my carpet, you idiot!"
48. "Can you stay still for five minutes?"
—————
You knew that the army life was filled with dangers. Bombs, airstrikes, enemy infantry, bullet wounds, the list goes on. You hated that you couldn’t control what happened to your boyfriend while he was away on tour. You despised that you didn’t have the ability to know immediately if something terrible had befallen him and that sent your anxiety soaring through the roof. There was a reason you weren’t a doctor or a nurse: you absolutely hated seeing injuries—even if it was a papercut. But you never expected your boyfriend to send you into near cardiac arrest by accidentally cutting his finger when chopping vegetables.
Soap had wanted to cook dinner for you that night, so you were sitting on the couch relaxing. You had the TV droning on in the background while you browsed through your phone. Tumblr, Wattpad, Snapchat, you name it. You weren’t a “trendy” kind of person by any means, but you were quite content with that. Humming to yourself, you scrolled through Tumblr, liking and reblogging—because that’s what you should do—when you heard a loud curse come from the kitchen. You glanced over with a worried expression.
“Soap? Soap, are you okay?” You called, slowly getting up from the couch just in case he needed your help. Pained groans answered you and you grew even more concerned. Rushing into the kitchen, you staggered back at the sight of blood all over the counter and floor.
Your boyfriend had half a dozen paper towels wrapped around his hand. “[Y/n], uh... Could... Could you get the first aid kit? I seem to have... um... had an accident.” He tried to laugh the whole situation off, but that only made you panic more.
“What the hell did you do, Soap?” You exclaimed as you pulled out the first aid. You were definitely thanking your lucky stars that you weren’t too squeamish when it came to blood. Don’t get me wrong, you despised medical emergencies, but mostly because they stress you out. And you did not deal with stress very well; you got all panicky and hysterical sometimes and Soap often had to calm you down. Sometimes you even got angry and snappy if the situation was dire enough.
“It was a slip of the hand, that’s all. I looked over at the cookbook for a second and the next thing I know, I’ve stained all the potatoes red.” He replied as you carefully pried the paper towels away from his hand. He’d cut himself pretty good—you’d probably have to take him to the hospital after you had bandaged the wound—and blood was absolutely everywhere.
You bit your lip as you reapplied pressure with some new paper towels. “Can you hold your hand up? I think that makes blood flow a little harder and causes less bleeding...?” Your voice went a little high as you kept pressure on his finger.
Soap chuckled a little at your uncertainty. “You’re doing just fine, [Y/n]. Besides, I’m perfectly fine!” He stated with a lop-sided smile. His attempts at getting you to relax did not work. Rather, they riled you up more.
“Bull! You’re bleeding out on my carpet, you idiot!” You refuted as you dug around in the first aid kit for some gauze and medical tape. “We’re gonna have to go to the hospital because of you...” You grumbled, wrapping his finger in a few layers of gauze before taping it.
After you were done tending to his wound the best you could, you walked over to the front door to look for your keys. “Soap! Have you seen my keys?” You called out. Soap came from the kitchen, his own keys in hand.
“We can take my car.”
You snatched the keys from him. “You sure as hell ain’t driving. Not with that injured hand of yours.” You said sternly. “Now, come on. I’m not gonna have you bleed out. Especially not in my kitchen or on the carpets.”
Soap rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to bleed out, babe. I had the best nurse tend to me.” As he passed you on his way out the door, he pecked your cheek. This would have normally caused you to blush and stutter like a fool, but this time, you were quite miffed that he was so light-hearted about the situation at hand.
“Just shush and get in the car, Soap. I’m not in the mood for your games.” You grumbled as you started up the car. Soap chuckled and shook his head in disbelief.
“Are you sure you aren’t my old drill sergeant? You’re as stern and unbending as he was.” He teased, which earned him a glare. “What, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. You could certainly use it.”
“I don’t need anything, except getting you to the hospital.”
Silence followed after that. Soap attempted to put some music on, but you were in too much of a panicked/stressed out position that you immediately turned it off. You couldn’t have distractions. Soap glanced over at you, a slight frown finding its way to his lips. He didn’t like seeing you so stressed. “[Y/n], breathe. Everything’s fine. The cut isn’t that bad, and at least I didn’t lose a finger, right? The most I’ll need is stitches. I’ve gone through worse, so there’s no reason to stress. I promise.” He soothed, reaching over and rubbing your shoulder with his good hand.
As much as you wanted to snap at him for being so careless and scaring the living daylights out of you, you couldn’t find the will to. It had been an accident, so you couldn’t blame him. “I know, I know... I just... You know how I worry.” You replied, glancing over at him.
Soap offered a soothing smile. “I know, but you just need to take a deep breath. Everything’s going to be okay.” Your spirits lifted and the cloud of panic that had been fogging up your judgement seemed to clear. A small, timid smile appeared on your lips and Soap’s only widened. “See? There’s that smile I know and love.”
He pecked your cheek and you could feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. The rest of the drive to the hospital was spent in a comfortable silence, filled with idle conversation. When you pulled into the hospital’s parking lot, you were more at ease. Soap had this effect on you and he never failed to calm your nerves. Especially when you get anxious and snappy. You held his good hand as you walked and you checked him in. The nurse was very kind and the two of you managed to see a doctor within the next hour.
The doctor knocked before entering. “MacTavish?” He clarified. With a nod from Soap, the man smiled. “Good afternoon, Mr. MacTavish. I am Doctor Thompson. I’ll be handling your case.”
Dr. Thompson had a nurse retrieve a needle and thread, while another readied some bandages in case of emergency. “I must applaud your work, [Y/n]. You did a good job at cutting off the blood flow.” The doctor stated, which made you beam with pride. “Now, we’re going to numb your finger, Mr. MacTavish, so you won’t feel a thing.”
With a few insertions of painkillers, the doctor set to sewing up the injury on Soap’s finger. It was longer than it was wide or deep, but it still required a good five stitches. Soap did grimace every now and then, but you were there to hold his hand—though you found amusing that he of all people wanted comfort during a simple procedure. But you did find it cute and after Dr. Thompson was all done, you gave him a peck on the cheek. Soap brightened at that.
“Go to your local doctor in a couple of weeks and they’ll remove the stitches. Keep the area clean and relatively dry. I hope you two have a great rest of your day. And don’t go dropping any more knives, Mr. MacTavish, I hope not to see you again—in a good way, of course.” The doctor said, causing you both to laugh. Then you left the hospital.
That night, you were the one to finish dinner. It wasn’t the awesome meal Soap had been preparing, but since it was so late, you just wanted to go to bed. So you made some ramen with boiled eggs. It was something simple that Soap could eat with one hand. Soap made a joke about how even Gordon Ramsay would be impressed by your cooking skills, which you rolled your eyes at and slapped his arm. He only laughed and stole a kiss, which irritated you further. Cue the pillow fight that occurred later that night, but it didn’t last long as you quickly felt too tired to go on. Soap wrapped his arm around your waist and brought you close before falling asleep beside you.
The next morning, you woke up at about eight to Soap attempting to clean his wound. You yawned and took his hand in yours. “You know, you could have woken me up. I’m supposed to help you, Soap.” You said, sleep heavy on your voice.
“But you’re too cute when you’re sleeping.” Soap replied with a smirk. “Besides, you know how you get when someone wakes you up early.”
You rolled your eyes. “No one knows that better than you, babe.” You kissed his cheek. A few minutes passed and Soap was not being very helpful. Every time you tried to clean his wound with alcohol, he shied away and you had to grab his hand again. Finally, you exclaimed, “Can you sit still for five minutes?”
“But it hurts!” He whined, pulling his hand away.
“Oh, please. You were in the army for the longest time, Soap. You can suck it up and deal with this. I know that getting shot in the abdomen had to have hurt more than this.” You reminded, which caused him to frown with embarrassment and give you his hand. “Thank you.”
Within a few minutes, you finished and gave his palm a kiss. Soap smiled a little. “Thank you, Nurse [L/n].” He said. “Do I get a treat for being a good patient?”
You rolled your eyes and chuckled. “I don’t know. You were pretty hard to work with, Soap.”
Soap whined and pulled his infamous puppy eyes. Surprising, I know, but that man had puppy eyes like you would not believe. They got him just about anything he wanted, especially from you. You just couldn’t resist his cuteness! A big, burly soldier gone soft with cute eyes? Oh, you were dead. You laughed and pecked his cheek. “There. Now, I’m going to make breakfast, and if I hear you had another accident, I’m gonna kick you out.”
“On what charge?”
“For giving me a heart attack.”
With that, you disappeared into the kitchen to make some breakfast. Little did you know, you’d have an accident of your own. Just a little burn, that’s all, but oh, when Soap came in and saw you icing your fingers, he had the biggest smirk on his face. “So... What happened?” He asked with the cockiest tone in the world. You groaned and hid your face as he laughed. Soap was insufferable sometimes, but you loved him to bits, so you stuck around for the ride. Even for the bumpy parts.
—————
Man, I love Soap a ton. He's just so awesome and cute.
