I don't even know

Call me Sewer. I write stuff and reblog stuff and have a lot of shows and books I like. Requests and Asks are open! | 20+ (dang I feel like 80+ tho) Just_A_Sewer on ao3 | mdni sideblog @just-a-sewer-gremlin

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

Asks/Requests: Open; Please scream about stories/thoughts/whatever in my asks it literally gives me life Sfw Works only; Look at the warnings for more info

Arcane

Call Of Duty

Star Wars

Tanz der Vampire

Sewer Originals

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

That's it on today's episode of "reading my own fanfiction to reignite the spark"

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

So you know how people don't yearn anymore? Oh this man does. This man yearns for four minutes. Please give it a listen.

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

I am once again back to shove this mans music down your throat. Banger of a song again with very relevant lyrics as it talks about cencorship in media.

Give it a listen, it's amazing.

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

I don't want to see community posts on my dash. Thank you

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

I miss you

I miss having you close

In the same room

Next to me

I miss existing with you

Just being with someone

Who gets it

I miss trusting you

When I didn't dissect everything you said

In my mind and thought about

How easy it would be for you

To keep something from me

Again

I miss your honesty

When I trusted it completely

I miss when I could say

"I trust you"

And you'd say "That means everything"

I miss when you told me you'd rather watch the world burn down

Than hurt me

In reality, it only took one sad girl

For you to forget all about it

I miss the times I thought we were falling together

I miss when I thought we were at least somewhat equally devoted

I miss touching you

I miss your touch

I missed your touch while I was right next to you too

I miss feeling like you only want me

And slowly gaining confidence in being enough

I miss not crying

And not having to chain the hurt down so it doesn't break free and overwhelm me

I miss not having to always hold my emotions back for the sake of others

I miss myself and how happy you made me

I miss when I thought you might be just as obsessed

I miss when your "I'll continue to be honest"

Didn't leave a sour taste in my mouth

Because what do you mean 'continue'

When you weren't honest with me before

I miss thinking you are content with what we have

I miss feeling like I'm the only one you'd ever want

Though that wasn't necessarily the case before either

I miss not being empty

I miss not thinking about you and her

Every damn second of the day

With only a few minutes as a break

Just enough not to lose my mind

I miss when I could be happy about you having a good friend

I miss when the two of you interacting didn't make me flinch

Like an abused child

I miss when it was insecure jealousy

Instead of justified distrust

Because I was able to dismantle it by myself

I miss when I didn't spiral over and over

About how I maybe trust you again

And then I think about it

And realize

That nothing changed

And I just have to trust your words

That things are different

I miss us

Before you sacrificed me on the altar of her hurt

I miss what we could have been

I miss how easy and right this could have been

Now I have to puzzle the pieces back together

Make them fit again

I miss the time my ribcage didn't feel like it would shatter under the pressure of

All the times

I think about the things

That I miss

[dante-erzahler]

violence isn't the answer.

she said her favourite flowers were lilies,

so i grew them from my own composted rot

she said her favourite colour was green,

so i buried my heart in the moss of the forest

she said her favourite animal was a bunny

so i made my flesh into a soft and loveable pelt

she said her favourite season was spring

so i planted flowers over my grave of inhibitions

she said her favourite time of day was the deep night

so i fell away into darkness, dancing with her in the shadows

before i could finish, she interrupted with a smile,

told me that i need not sacrifice myself for her sake

that she loves me regardless of how i love her,

soft, careful, and devoted does her just fine

so i pick up my bones that fell to the ground, handed

them to her with a sheepish grin, missing teeth

and she still looked at me with starstruck awe in her gaze

as if i was sculpted by michaelangelo himself, and i turned away

but she put each bone back in place, each organ in its home

and kissed me on the forehead and reminded me we’re in this together.

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

Kyle Gaz Garrick who is the most relaxed boyfriend you've ever had. All tension belongs to his job so he's all easy words and friendly smiles. Even when someone crosses a line and he reacts in a way that slowly drains the colour from the other persons face until unbridled fear is left, the smile never even slips.

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

I want to kiss you under sunlight

Your eyes like a bottomless lake

Let me drown in them

While I spill the honey of my devotion against your lips

Let my hands cradle your face

Eyes fluttering open like butterflies taking flight on a summer wind

And when I look at you

You will see my love for you

[dante-erzahler]

Weight of Words

“You keep saying that,” she murmurs

as for the hundredth time

I recite the words like scripture

etched into my spine

“Always for you,” I spake,

my tribute to her

A way to confide my faith

and my brain and heart to concur

For if the world fell tomorrow

and I lost my voice today

I would carve the words into my chest

so she can see them anyway

Brand me with the iron of love

until the top layer of my flesh forfeits

“You keep saying that,” she murmurs

“And I keep meaning it.”

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

I'm a prey animal

I too freeze when I feel threatened

Get praised for how calm and docile I am

While my heart rips in two

And my lungs work overtime

I'm a prey animal

I too hide pain and hurt

For the fear of a final fatal attack

Hiding the wounds behind fake confidence

Until I'm almost dead

I'm a prey animal

Aren't I so cute and adorable

Until you've cornered me enough

To learn that blunt teeth

Break skin too

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

Soap who comes home after a long deployment. It's the middle of the night and he tiptoes into the bedroom so he doesn't wake you.

He stops dead in his tracks when he notices the subtle shaking of your shoulders and the quiet sniffles. The bag drops with a muted thump and he immediately climbs in with you, wraps his arms around you and pulls you back against his chest.

"I've got you, bonnie. You're not alone. I'm here. With you. I'll always come back to you."

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

My comfort takes the backseat Always She's screaming there but You can't hear it because She's gagged

Her blindfold is wet But if I just pretend enough You'll believe me That they're tears of joy

She's okay back there She always is Her wirsts aren't red That's a trick of the light Cuffs pretty enough to pass as bracelet

Why would I ever let her come to the front When she's too light Weighed against your desires Why would I rip off the tape If she's only going to cry out

My comfort takes the backseat Because that way I only see her When I look in the rear view mirror And if I just wait long enough She'll suffocate

A doll for me to drape however I see fit Because she's supposed to be decoration For what you want Limp, so she can't defend Herself me When your want takes the wheel

My comfort takes the backseat Because why would she be prioritized When you want something Mutely watching As you drive us down the cliff

And when we crash through the waves I will reach for her cuffed hands Rip off the tape Break the restraints Drag her to the surface with me

In the wet uncomfortable sand I'll revive her Crying as I hold her close The way she wanted you to hold me Because she only ever wanted me safe While my feelings of discomfort were hardly more Than a trophy to your fragile ego

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

[just-a-sewer-goblin]

Today I looked into the mirror

Trying to see what you see

I stared until the image lost it's meaning

Until my features blurred

And it didn't even feel like looking at myself

Anymore

Like some stranger stole my features and put them together all wrong

Staring back at me

Then I thought of you

My eyes lit up with joy

My lips curved into that silly enamoured smile

My face softened into something gentle

My furrowed eyebrows relaxed

My jaw unclenched

And even though no feature of mine changed

I looked like something completely different

Like something more

And I thought to myself

Maybe I do get it now

It is you who makes me beautiful

[dante-erzahler]

Here.

I’m here to listen.

Always.

Never a burden

Never too much.

Always here to listen.

I’ll let other memories flow out

And past lives seep away

Just to say

I’m here to listen.

Eternally.

Even if you never heed my advice

Or anything that I ever tell you

It’s never too much

Never a burden

Eternally here to listen.

I’ll push all of my frustrations down

And apathy will moss over my heart

Just to say

I’m here to listen.

Forever.

Even if my ears fall off

And my eyesight fails

You can grab me by the arm

And trace the letters into my skin

Never a burden

Never too much.

Forever here to listen.

I’ll let my flesh dent from your nails

And bones fray away

Just to say

I’m here to listen.

Always.

Eternally.

Forever.