Very rare nsfw Bird au !! Pls do not interact if ur a minor or I'll fucking kill myself, and then no one will get anymore Naruto content because I'll be dead
So, you know that one type of fic that's like "Tobirama sleeps Madara in an attempt to calm him the fuck down / give him something to focus on / tie him to the village so he will be less likely to leave or self destruct" ?
Ok so THAT. but now throw Hikaku in there to help. They are teaming up to try and tie Madara down before he doom spirals
Ok so. Hikaku and Tobirama talk about how they're worried about Madara's looming self implosion / mental state
Tobirama is like "don't worry, I'll take care of this."
And Hikaku is kinda press x to doubt but also kinda "alright, good luck"
Only for a couple days later Madara to seem to calm down / have become dramatically more smug and peaceful.
So, yk, Hikaku is like "woah, Senju-sama what did you do? Whatever it was, keep it up, this is wonderful I haven't seen him so level in months."
And Tobirama is like "Hmm. Yes. Letting him have his way with me certainly did seem to help calm him, didn't it?"
And Hikaku is like record scratch car crash noises "letting him WHAT."
So Tobirama explains that yeah, he let Madara fuck him. A lot. Also he would NOT shut up during it, which Tobirama also just kind of let happen which also seemed to help...? Double time therapy, I guess
And Hikaku is like. Head in his hands. If it works it works...? He guesses...? Oh my god he wish he didn't know this tho
BUT THEN.
Tobirama is gone for a week on a mission, and Madara is looking pretty bad. Like, sharp decline, he is in a bad way. And Hikaku, panicking, is like "oh fuck what would Tobirama do" and then ends up throwing himself at Madara out of desperation
It works !! Surprisingly well !! There were a couple hiccups at first maybe, but Madara and Tobirama were never exclusive or anything (and Madara might have partially agreed out of spite for Tobirama)
Madara calms down, Hikaku is left with his head spinning and very "fuckkkkk ok, too late to back out now. It worked, we are commiting"
Tobirama comes back and is pleased, less work for him. Good job Hikaku, he knew u were a real one
Now, this is purely tactical for Tobirama (at that point) it's a strategic fuck to calm Madara down, with a bonus of usually being good for him.
So he is pleasantly surprised Hikaku backed him up. He would have thought Hikaku might try and find someone else to throw at Madara, the fact he would sacrifice himself only further proves his loyalty to the village in his eyes
Hikaku one of the real ones fr, Tobirama's trust and respect in him is on the rise
Hikaku still has his head in his hands as he digests the fact this is his life now
Meanehile: In Madara's little world, rhe senju bastard AND his hot most loyal man in the world are throwing themselves at him. He is convinced he's winning.
And like, he is, to be fair. But only because of the mental illness
Madara is sitting around creating convoluted soap opera plot lines for the three of them in his head.
Like, he's imagining Hikaku and Tobirama office cat fighting over him, one of them getting jealous over the other, competing for his attention and affection. Two of Konoha's most powerful, well respected, high ranking shinobi... and they are fighting over Madara... he's so back..
Meanwhile Tobirama and Hikaku are telling eachother ab their recent Madara interactions and going "oh good, that should keep him calm for a few days" and nodding at eachother like "we are in this mess together, my brother in arms"
So, Madara ends up noticing the vibes in that corner and then he possibly ends up getting jealous of them spending too much time alone together (they are strategizing on what to do with/to him next) and gets even more pouty and mad even after they fuck, because "I bet this bitch was thinking about Tobirama/Hikaku the whole time >:(
(Meanwhile, Madara was the one thinking about the other the whole time. Mostly in the context of them joining them)
He finally snaps and rejects one of Tobirama's advances while saying something stupid shit like "why don't u just go sleep with HIKAKU, since I know thats where you REALLY wanna be. You think I haven't noticed you sneaking around with him, huh? Huh? Whore."
And Tobirama is like "are we seriously doing this now? Is this seriously what we are doing? Ok."
And Tobirama and Hikaku now have to strategize to come on to Madara TOGETHER or smthn, or at minimum put on some sort of production to feed into his sudden insecurities so they can guide him out of them
Madara meanwhile remains suspiciously fixated on the idea of them sleeping together (without him!!!! How dare they!!!!)
All of that is to say:
Tobirama and Hikaku end up sleeping together for Madara and having to put on a big show of it just to make Madara feel like he still has the power here.
Tobirama is largely indifferent to this turn of events, Hikaku remains "oh my god how is this my fucking life" but also "well. It's for the greater good, I guess. Not like it's a horrible fate for me."
So anyways: Hikaku and Tobirama alliance to try and calm Madara the fuck down via fucking and letting him fuck them. Pass it on.
full on poipiku definitely super not safe for a job
Omegaverse AU I was cooking up with @hibiscusseaart; the betas (here: Hikaku) play many different roles in a traditional society, but most commonly they are a cornerstone/s of any family dynamic, besides an alpha and omega. They are there to help with stability, bringing up kids, help the couple during the mating season. Omegas are at a top of this hierarchy, meaning alphas (here: Madara) have to court them viciously. Here we have a scene of Madara having some side fun with his beta, while his omega (Tobirama) is in his mancave office. Pity he takes his family stuff out to the Uchiha baths.
"Tobirama-sama," Hikaku called, knocking on the office that was given to the ex-Senju, since Hashirama-sama dutifully (even through clenched teeth) told them that his younger brother is a workaholic and if he didn’t have his own place to work he will make it everyone’s problem. And, of course, the status of being a Head Omega came with its own responsibility.
"Come in," grunted the deep voice.
Hikaku slid the door open, seeing the disgruntled omega, scowling at his writing.
"Did you need something?" Tobirama asked, glaring at his beta-mate as if he was the last person he wanted to see. It might've hurt him a little. Hikaku knew he was probably his least favourite in their pack. He couldn't compete with their alpha or with his best friend-and-rival. Especially since their bond was so new.
At first, Tobirama was married to Madara as his second beta partner - a result of Uchiha-Senju peace talks. Hikaku might've been jealous since he and Madara were alpha-beta mates for ages, but having more than one beta was even usually recommended rather than frowned upon.
Hikaku's first impression of Madara is that he needs to put better care into brushing his hair. He would not be surprised to learn that he trims it himself with a rusty kunai. The second is that he would make a poor heir. Not only is he completely undignified in the way he talks, acts and carries himself, but he is stubborn to a fault and he has the charisma of a prickly feral cat. He may show unparalleled strength and promise but he is unrefined, and battle prowess does not necessarily make a good leader. Certainly not when he hardly has the patience to sit still to learn how to read and write.
Tajima-sama requested that his father introduce them in the hopes that Hikaku can act as a positive influence, and they're now sitting opposite each other pouring over poetry scrolls Hikaku is already all too familiar with. Madara is slouched in his seat, having long since stopped paying attention, brush tapping incessantly against the table and eyes wandering outside to their cousins sparring and learning their first katons.
"Madara-sama, can you please focus." Madara merely spares him a glance before returning to his tapping with increased fervour. A small smile tugs at his lips and despite knowing that he's probably smiling at something his little siblings did, Hikaku can't help feeling disrespected.
"Madara-sama." He sounds irritated to his own ears now, patience about to snap, and he mentally chastises himself for the fact. Instead of taking offence Madara eyes him with new intrigue.
"Is there a problem, Hikaku-kun?" Madara sounds perfectly polite as he meets his gaze, eyes full of mischief. Hikaku suddenly wished he'd refused to entertain the clan head's request.
"Please stop that tapping and focus on your assignment."
"You were doing well." He adds as an afterthought, hoping positive affirmation works in his favour.
"My bad." Madara's smile is entirely more mocking than polite, and the tapping becomes irregular and entirely more grating. They stare each other down for a tense few seconds before Hikaku's patience snaps and he snatches the brush from his hand. Madara lets him, smile turning victorious, and Hikaku fights the urge to strike him on the knuckles with the fan he's gripping under the table like his tutor might have if he were to act half as disrespectfully.
"Would I not need a brush to write with, Hikaku-kun?" Hikaku slams it on the table with entirely more force than is proper and it draws a laugh from Madara. He decides then and there that he can't stand Madara in the slightest.
