You could likely track the number of hours listening to Lexi complain about high school. Her desire to live the life that your peers do rides the line of naive and neurotic. Each of the East Highland members that she could name, including her own sister Cassie you are certain you could explain why their life was not desirable. Rue struggles with addiction, Cassie's with men, and Maddy's with Nate Jacobs. No matter how much anyone thought their lives were private, the whispers always made their way to your lilac iPhone. Unlike Lexi, you are sure your high school experience thus far has been more than enough. Ironically you live by a warning from your father; he said if you spread yourself too thin, you will never stick. His worries of you not connecting with your peers prove to have unforeseen consequences. You do not care for drama—you do not want to stick. Hence you joined every club possible in the second half of your freshman year. In your junior year, you find yourself as your class President, secretary of student activities board, and treasure of community outreach. This does not cover your membership of clubs such as tutoring, photography, and many other school activities. Why? Spread yourself too thin, and you will never stick.
The bell-ringing makes you flinch awake as your peers scatter to exit the room. You barely pay attention as Mrs. Hoffman asks Nate to stay behind. Sending Tiktoks to Lexi until three in the morning proves to be a terrible idea. Your zombie-like movements leave you at the front of the now almost bare room. The realization of this makes you move in a slight panic, fumbling your feminine products pouch, it lands into your tote bag by the grace of God. You are sure you look silly as you hold your tote bag close, practically running toward the door. Your frantic state makes you miss the first time Mrs. Hoffman calls out to you.
"Miss (L/n)!" You freeze in the classroom doorway, the late bell rings, and the last few students scatter off. Nate sits on a desk in the front row with his arms crossed when you turn around. He glares daggers at Mrs. Hoffman, who stands with a calm demeanor.
"Uh—yes?" Your gaze bounces between Nate and Mrs. Hoffman cautiously. Finally, she smiles, and you realize the silence carries her expectation for you to re-enter the room. You settle on standing next to the desk closest to the door. Mrs. Hoffman's smile does not falter as she seemingly reminds you of your own membership in the peer tutor club. "With all due respect, I have another class, so are you reaching a point Mrs. Hoffman?"
"Of course. You're one of my star students Miss (L/n), and Mr. Jacobs is not. If you could please work with him for the duration of this class, I could offer you extra credit for it," She says, shifting on the balls of your feet you could barely recall the last time the two of you spoke. As you try, your mind goes back to the eighth grade when he complimented your freshly braided hair. His words were cool hair. Though it was so simple, you had been anxious about your new look before the interaction. Nate's glare shifts into a stoic expression as they wait for you to say something. The central air becomes of interest as it happens to be the loudest thing outside of the sounds from other classrooms.
"Yeah—uh um, we could do that. If you're comfortable, of course," You bounce onto the tips of your toes and then back onto the balls of your feet. The two braids that frame your face become the focus of your vision as they swing forward.
"Yeah, whatever," He says, rolling his eyes as he rises from the desk. If giving a short synopsis of what Mrs. Hoffman said after that would save your life, you would be screwed. It does not get any better when she releases you from the uncomfortable interaction. Both you and Nate walk down the hall in silence; you are unsure if you should say anything.
"I'm pretty busy today, but you could just Snap me, and we could figure out a meeting time," You speak so quietly that Nate's lack of a reaction convinces you he did not hear. He turns down the English hall calling out he would text you soon. Arriving at your next class, you apologize as all eyes sit on you; your seat in the front next to Lexi remains unoccupied.
Lex✨: No way you show up late to class, spill👀
You only glance at the text before turning your attention to the front of the room. Despite ignoring Lexi's text, you carry every intention of telling her everything at lunch. The idea of interacting with Nate Jacobs over an extended period seems like a phantom zone. His machismo attitude and open misogyny only add to the unspoken rift between the two of you. The class drones on just like the last, and you ignore the looks Lexi throws your way.
Unknown number: My house tonight at 6
The bell-ringing does take your attention as you frown at your cell phone. But, of course, you know exactly what the text means, but how did he get your number?
"You coming?" Lexi nudges your shoulder as she stands next to your desk in the now empty room. You nod, still frowning as you gather your things.
"I'm having a weird day Lex," You huff, wrapping your arm around her as you both exit the classroom.
"What's wrong?" She says, mirroring your actions, the two of you move in sync. The easy-going nature between you leaves your peers guessing the nature of your friendship.
"Mrs. Hoffman is giving me extra credit to tutor Nate Jacobs," You explain as the two of you jump into the lunch line. Lexi wastes no time pointing out you were more than likely getting caught up in his and Maddy's whirlwind drama.
"Want me to see if Cassie can stop anything before it starts," Grabbing chocolate milk, you shake your head, wanting to cross that bridge when or if it arrives. You unlock your phone, handing it to Lexi. The text message from the unknown number sits with the time stamp.
"How'd he get your number?" She questions, but you shrug, muttering exactly as you eye up the options of the day. Pasta loaded with tomato sauce and cheese or pizza. You settle on a slice of pizza and grab a banana by the register. After paying, you both move to your usual table, the cafeteria bustling with students. No singular table takes the limelight as the volume stays even.
"And ugh, Miss DePaulo assigned this ten-page paper with the vaguest rubric. She didn't even include the format, and I'm just so behind on it—ugh," Running your hands over your face, Lexi frowns. She explains having a class with the same teacher the year prior.
"Her rubrics are always vague, but then when grading comes around, you suddenly see criteria she never listed. Nice woman but very unorganized teacher," Lexi shrugs as you take a bite of your pizza. You ramble aimlessly only to find Lexi not paying any attention. Instead, she stares at Rue and the newer girl Jules, who giggle like small children. When you move your gaze back to Lexi, her downcast eyes and longing look makes you frown.
"Hey, don't stress it. We're nothing but good friends to Rue. Maybe this Jules girl is good for her," Your suggestion only earns a slow nod before she looks away from them. Lunch carries on lightly for the most part. Before you know it, you are home to an empty house. Both your parents usually make it home around five. Your mother sometimes even later when her clients need her. While your father works in an accounting office, he has never been home later than five.
Walking up the stairs, you focus closely on picking out every yellow skittle from the bag. In your room, you toss the bag of multicolored skittles in the trash before placing the yellows in the tiny bowl on your desk. Tossing your tote bag on your bed, you reach for another yellow skittle. Lexi never misses a beat in pointing out your wasteful habit, and your mother found it to be silly. It did not matter, though; you would refuse to eat the other color skittles or any other candy even as a child.
You put your headphones in as you open up your iPad and work on your paper. The first twenty consist of you sucking on a skittle and watching TikTok's on your phone. After that, Jhene Aiko plays full blast in your ears as you truly start your paper, when you reach halfway through the Souled Out album a yawn leaves your lips. You do your best to follow the rubric while also keeping a close eye out for grammatical and spelling errors.
"Hey gopher," Your Dad speaks at the perfect time in between songs. He kisses the side of your head while placing down a sandwich on your desk.
"Thanks, Dad. How was work?" He jumps on the opportunity to take one of your skittles. You roll your eyes at him, but he only laughs before whining about something at work. Only about a quarter of it, you could understand.
"I'm tutoring one of my classmates for extra credit. Is it okay if I go over at six? I'll be home before dinner," Nodding his head, your father asks who you are tutoring. You consider lying to him for a second, but the way you pause brings an awkwardness to the air. "Nate Jacobs. He's gonna fail Statistics if I don't help him."
"Cal Jacobs kid, the quarterback, right?" Your father questions, and you shrug, glancing at the clock. A good amount of time still sits between you and when you need to leave. You cannot figure out why but a realization dawns upon you, where the hell does Nate Jacobs live?
You: hey what's your addy?
He texts back almost immediately, and you put a thumbs up on the text. Then, still staring at the text, you frown, changing his contact name from Unknown to Nate with a football emoji.
"Aiming high, are we?" Your father jokes, and you nearly forget he stands over your shoulder.
"Dad!" You whine, throwing a skittle at him, but he only catches it. He pops the skittle into his mouth before reaching into his pocket and revealing a new bag of skittles.
"Got it for you on the way home," He kisses your temple again before leaving your room. You call out a thank you before biting at your sandwich while deciding what notes to bring. Time ticks by as if it's racing something, and you park across the street from his house. Fiddling with your fingers as you walk toward his door, the lights and parked cars bring you ease, knowing you will not be alone.
You: if I die, Nate Jacobs did it
Lex✨: if u die Madeline Perez did it
You knock twice; the first time, you knock way too soft. No answer. The second time comes with more effort, and you freeze as his mother answers.
"Why hello, can I help you, dear?" She asks. You do your best to ignore the massive wave of anxiety that builds high in your chest.
"I'm tutoring Nate in Statistics," You say, holding up your tote bag. His mother introduces herself as Marsha, explaining Nate was in the shower. She invites you inside, almost giddy as his father rounds the corner.
"Cal Jacobs," He says, holding out his hand, and you take it. You almost flinch at the firmness of his handshake.
"(Y/n) (L/n)," You say, and just like your father, Cal tilts his head.
"Terrance (L/n) 's daughter?" He asks, and you nod. You try to push back the feeling of your face expressing your thoughts. Cal rambles on about your attendance at Nate's fourth birthday party. You cannot remember a single thing he speaks of, but he gushes over his own and your father's shared love of football. Marsha offers you something to drink which you kindly decline. Before Cal can continue, Nate enters the living room.
"We can work in my room," It takes you back how Nate does not acknowledge his parents. He stares at you with downcast eyes before turning around. You hesitate for a second before following him. He moves things from his desk as you wait for further instructions in his doorway.
"You can sit here," He says, pulling up a second chair. Nodding your head, you sit down as he grabs his notebook. "You know you're gonna have to speak if you're going to save me from failing."
"Sorry, I'm just kind of spacey today. How about you show me your class notes? This way we can see where you are struggling," You suggest, but the reality appears much worse than what you imagined. His notes consist of doodles and words he wrote from the slides. Instead of focusing on the material itself, you focus on the issue's root. Nate's note-taking skills are below average, taking information and making it easy to understand.
"—Okay, but how can I write out steps or answers in my own words? She changes the slides so quickly," Nate questions, smiling lightly; you make sure to tell him that it's a good question.
"Think of it like football. Trust me, I don't know much, but when that whistle blows and the balls in your hand, you don't have much time, right?" You explain, and he nods; you easily tie his beloved sport to school, "Which means once you have that ball, you just have to try to make the best possible decision. Same with note-taking, you're prioritizing."
"So, what will help me best?" Nodding your head, you offer your hand up for a high five. Nate ignores your hand, looking between his own and your notes. Reaching into the skittles bag from your father, you pick out two more yellows before placing them on the desk. "What's that about?"
Nate observes you as you put a yellow skittle in your mouth. You shrug your shoulders, "Yellow is my favorite."
Many of your sessions go like this as you both agree to meet Mondays and Wednesdays. By the second week, Maddy pays you a visit by your locker. Her invasive questions, silly conclusions, and bitchy banter do nothing other than make you uncomfortable. Nate only learns about the encounter during week three of your sessions.
You talk him through Z-scores and Pearsons-r in your current session. Like always, his mother offers you something to drink, and his father attempts to talk your ear off. Mid explanation, Nate's gaze moves from the paper onto your face. His deep voice takes you by surprise as he cuts you off, "Sorry about Maddy. I heard she bothered you; I talked to her about but—it's complicated."
"No worries. I had a feeling she would pop up eventually, so it didn't bother me much," You say, shrugging your shoulders. As Nate says nothing, you reach into your tote bag, revealing an unopened bag of skittles. "Want the remains after I get my yellows?"
"Yeah sure," The two of you get back into the material. You quiz him on conceptual questions as Mrs. Hoffman has an exam scheduled for Thursday. When Nate enters class, you watch as he rolls his shoulders back. Beyond that, you cannot see him as you sit in the very front. The exam feels light with a good mix of practice problems and concept questions. That weekend, the football team played an away game that went amazing, from what you hear. Your Dad gushes about how good the team plays. His devotion and love for the team show his apparent desire for a son.
When Monday rolls around, you always arrive at Nate's house on time. His mother tells you he's upstairs in his room. You tap on his room door lightly, warning him it's you.
"Come in," He calls out; walking in, he sits with a big grin on his face. On the desk sits his laptop, which he moves so you can see it better. The screen reveals his grades in statistics; his previous exam grade being forty-seven percent, looks odd against his recent seventy-one percent.
"That's awesome, Nate!" You exclaim, grinning ear to ear. He chuckles; you realize you never indeed heard him laugh. Though you had seen him smile before, this was the first time that it appeared genuine. As well as the first time his smile was with you.
"No way I could get this far without you," He says, but you shake your head, promising he can do this.
"How about you take the night off then. You deserve it," You suggest. He shakes his head, and you both pause as his mother calls out that dinners ready.
"Come on," He says; rising from his desk chair, he opens his room door. You know this will only lead to you eating dinner with the Jacobs. Every part of this feels like a bad idea, but you still sit.
"So (Y/n), what's your plans after high school?" Marsha asks, explaining your goal of continuing women in stem; you talk about your engineering dreams.
"Hopefully, get into Stanford on a scholarship," You quietly relish in the buttery taste of the asparagus. However, Marsha made it makes you melt.
"I actually know a good portion of the faculty at Stanford. So I could put in a good word," Cal says, and your head shoots up as your eyes widen.
"I would never ask you to do that," You speak as if words are running out. Cal laughs at your flustered state.
"You're not, I'm offering. I hear you're class President and well on your way to Valedictorian, so why not?" Cal says, and you glance at Nate. You are uncertain if he told his father about you or if his father had gone looking. Either way, you note the way he glares daggers at his father. Nate stays silent the entire dinner until you announce you should head home. He walks you to the door, not breaking his calm demeanor.
"Could you text me just so I know you got home okay?" Nodding your head, you try not to think about his request too much. When you arrive home, you shoot the text, but it leaves your mind as your parents' wedding song plays loudly in the house. In the kitchen, your parents slow dance, and you notice the half-empty wine bottle on the counter. You consider announcing your arrival but instead tiptoe up to your room. The moment feels too intimate to intrude on; your lava lamp illuminates your darkroom with variations of purple on the wall. You drop onto your bed, closing your eyes as your breathing centers. The ding of your phone makes you bend your arm at a funny angle rather than sitting up to grab it. You cringe as the glow shines too bright in your eyes.
Nate🏈: sorry about my parents
You: sorry?? Theyre so nice
Nate🏈: u would say that🙄
Nate🏈: oh and u forgot your bag of skittles no promises of their survival
You sit up on your elbow, narrowing your eyes at the playful nature of the texts. Chewing on your bottom lip, you consider not responding but a nag pecks at your temple.
You: Wat does that mean??
You: And count. Your. Days.
Nate🏈: u dont have a mean bone in your body
You: u know nothing
"Hey, kiddo," Your mom taps on your door as she opens and you lock your phone. With a slight smile on your lips, you cross your legs, patting a spot on the bed. She joins you, asking about how your day went.
"Same as always," You shrug, playing with the tips of your hair. She points out she saw Rue today—you completely forgot to tell either of your parents that she was out of rehab.
"Well, I'm glad she's okay. I wanted to know if you still wanted to do the formal dinner for your Birthday," Nodding your head, you agree on sushi and business wear for dinner. "Are you gonna invite Rue?"
"Uh—she has some new friend now. I don't really wanna bother her. It'll probably just be Lexi and us," You explain and your mother frowns but nods her head, she voices as long as you are happy with that, but you reassure her.
"You may be a Libra, but your Pisces moon is clearly dominant. My little introvert," She says, pulling you into her arms; she gives you rapid-fire kisses. You whine, telling her to stop and your father's laugh reaches your ears from the doorway.
"Alright enough. I love you guys goodnight," You shuffle to the top of your bed, holding out a pillow to place something between yourself and your mother. She only laughs, joining your father at the doorway.
"We love you, Gopher," Your father says before flicking on the light and leaving the door open. A huff leaves you as you only ever asked for two things: to close your door on the way out and for your father to stop turning the light on.
The next day in class, you struggle to keep your eyes open as you sit with your head in your hands and your body angled toward the class. You have a good view of the room in your peripheral, but this does not matter as you stare off aimlessly. The vibration of your phone in your pocket makes you flinch; you glance up at Mrs. Hoffman. Her back faces the class as she talks and works through a practice problem.
Nate🏈: class president (Y/n) (L/n) sleeping in stats??!
Nate🏈: not only are pigs gonna fly today, the world is def gonna fall into black hole
You bite back the smile that burns on your cheeks; glancing back, Nate stares forward with a smirk. As Mrs. Hoffman looks back at the class for some student engagement, you raise your hand as no one dares to.
"You add them all up to get the sum of squares, and then you average it to get the variance. Unless we're doing um—I can't remember exactly when, but you subtract one from the quantity and then divide," You explain, leaning back; Lexi makes a face at you. The two of you share a silent giggle as Mrs. Hoffman continues on. Back on your phone, you grin as you type away.
You: so ur watching me…?
You: yikes, creepy😳
You watch him in the corner of your eye as he goes on his phone. A quiet chuckle leaves him as read appears under your messages. You click out of the messages and watch the type icon sit next to his name.
Lex✨: suspicious smile and texting…interesting
You: okayy weirdo 😮💨
Lexi reads your text as you side-eye her with a lopsided grin. When she looks up at you, she rolls her eyes before Mrs. Hoffman asks you both to share with the class. Both of you stare like deer in headlights.
"Suspicious smiling and texting, interesting. Sorry Mrs. Hoffman," Lexi says, putting her phone away before the patronizing gaze shifts to you.
"Okay, weirdo. Sorry Mrs. Hoffman," You put your phone in your tote bag beneath the desk as she explains her phone policy. It's two strikes, and you are out policy; if she saw your phones again, they would be confiscated until the end of the day.
When the bell finally rings, you and Lexi are the first out of the classroom. Lexi does not hesitate to ask who you were texting when you roll your eyes. If you say, Nate, you know it will become something you do not want it to.
"My Mom is just texting me about some outfits she thinks I would like for my birthday dinner. Which is at six on my Birthday," The lie rolls off your tongue like honey, and any guilt you feel, you immediately bury. Lexi describes the light blue pencil skirt and matching blazer she has planned. "These next two weeks are going to be torture. I have this super cute apricot crop blazer and pants, and I'm going to wear a white bodysuit with it."
"That colors going to look amazing on you!" Lexi exclaims as she chooses the grilled chicken and whole-grain roll. You eye the salad that comes with it, you plan to break up the meat and make a chicken salad. The fruit cups near the register greets you, and you happily grab it.
"We're eating sushi. Any roll requests. I can send you the menu from the restaurant we're ordering from," You suggest, but she shrugs, assuring you that she's not a picky person.
"Hey, you should come to the football game with me Friday," She suggests, chuckling; you shake your head as your eyes fall on Nate's tall figure. Maddy walks next to him with her everyday power strut. When she meets your gaze, you turn back to Lexi.
"My Dad would expect us to sit with him, and he gets excited at the games. I don't know," You shrug as Lexi explains your father's no different than any of the other men who go. She invites you over to her house to hang out before the game when you finally agree.
The halls fill with the rumor of Kat Hernandez, you refuse to watch the video that circulates, but everyone knows with certainty it's Kat. So when you pass her in the hall, you pay her little attention, the idea of people watching and whispering makes your skin crawl. So you make it a point to not play into it.
When your Wednesday session arrives, you fail to ignore the jitter in your chest as you drive to Nate's house. His mother greets you like always, but something feels off; your smile does not falter despite seeing how her smile does not reach her eyes. She tells you Nate should be in his room before leaving you to your own devices. When you get up the stairs, you tap on the cracked door, poking your head in; Nate sits on his phone.
"Hey," You call out, but he says nothing, still typing away on his phone. As you take out your notebook and settle at his desk, you note the bruising of his knuckles. The sigh that leaves him fills the silence, and the aggression leaves you with an uneasy feeling. Finally, he slams his phone down on his nightstand, making you flinch back and your body halts.
"Sorry about that" He watches how you still do not move as you eye the phone and then him. For a second, all of your mother's cautionary tales run through your mind, but it fades as Nate tosses you a baggy. The yellow skittles you forgot from Monday sit in your lap, and the playful energy returns.
"Healthy thing you going there," You tease, opening up the bag popping one into your mouth. Nate's eyes widen, and for a second, you think you have crossed a line, but he just smirks.
"Pot meet kettle. No way you talk about health and eat candy on a daily," He says; rolling your eyes, you turn to your notes. You can see Nate's progress as clear as day; by now, he could take on the final and just barely touch the seventy percent threshold. This estimate you base off his average of around fifty-five percent on previous exams and the improvement he has shown with you. You blink back into reality as he waves in his hand in front of your face, "Anyone home? Is this right?"
You carefully follow his work throughout the problem, you near the end of it where you find the first mistake. This bleeds into the rest of the problem creating a ripple effect. He now sits at the desk as you lean over his shoulder; about halfway through your explanation, you stumble over your words. The faint tickle of his breath as he watches you closely sends your mind into mental lag. You silently thank the heavens that your phone dings pulling you away from the desk.
Lex✨: Attachment: 1 image
"I should get going. I have some things to work on," The picture reveals Lexi showing her outfit for your birthday dinner; you heart it before locking your phone. You gather your things, shoving them in your tote bag carelessly.
"Already? Party pooper," He teases as you pull your jacket on, sticking your tongue out at him. As you walk toward his door, he rises to his feet, promptly following behind you.
"Keep it up, Jacobs, and I might actually have to worry about Maddy trying to kill me," You joke, walking up to his front door; he easily towers over you with a smile on his lips.
"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise," He says, and you know it's wrong, the way he makes your stomach flip. Many things about Nate are off-putting, and you know this. Alone though it feels like someone entirely new, you pride yourself in having everyone accurately pegged; how did you fail to see this?
"Goodnight," You say; looking down at your feet, you offer an awkward wave that earns a chuckle. Anxiety tickles every single one of your muscles as you become hyper-aware of your movements. You are sure Nate watches you from the window next to his front door.
The rest of the week carries on in stolen glances and silly text exchanges. You have a sneaking suspicion that Lexi's catching onto your endless amounts of excuses for smiling at your phone. When Friday night finally arrives, your father's excitement for the game becomes the focal point of your night. He happily buys you both walking tacos and a hotdog for himself. You expect him to urge you both to join him in the stands, but he encourages you both to sit in the student section. Your mother texts in the family group chat she's parking, but you leave your father to his own devices.
The cheerleaders stand directly in front of the student section; the band plays Fireball by Pitbull on your right. You both sit three rows from the front, and like many others, you stand on the bleachers. Lexi waves to her sister as you watch Nate run off the field and defense run on. He takes his helmet off, grabbing a bottle of water; Coach joins his side, showing him the whiteboard. This lasts for a few seconds before he looks at the cheerleader and then up at the stands. When he meets your gaze, you give a small, he looks away from you, but you catch the smile on his lips.
"I saw that," Lexi points out with knowing eyes, but you tell her she saw nothing, "I bet your phone would say otherwise."
"Lex, it's not like that," You say but chuckles as she questions the defensiveness. She reassures you that you owe her no explanation if it happens to be more than platonic.
"Maybe it could be good for him. What he has now is smoke, and where there is smoke, there is fire," She says, looking from Maddy front and center with the cheerleaders to Nate, who awaits his return to the field. They win the game with an explosive touchdown in the last thirty seconds. The student section jumps and stomps all over the bleachers in violent roars. You wince and giggle at how loud the band plays in your ears. Also, how many of your peers who barely even spare you a glance chat with you as if you are all long-time buddies. Though fleeting, the moment leaves a warmth in your chest; it's much more than you ever expected to get from a football game.
Like all the others, the Monday session carries on; he even teases you about the football game. He confidently accuses you of attending just for him, as you never in your nearly three years of high school attended a football game. The playfulness continues, but you note how he often texts away on his phone.
"Dude, I think Cohen's D is a little more important right now. Maddy can wait," You point out, and he pauses mid text as he looks up at you. A glint shines in his eyes as he stares at you with a lopsided grin.
"Jealous much?" Offering him a pointed look, you take the eraser on his desk, throwing it at him. He sends out a final text before putting his phone down and focusing. The Wednesday session goes no differently. As he walks you out, rather than being a stammering idiot, you tell him how the next Monday session would not be happening.
"My birthday is Monday. I've never really liked doing much for my Birthday, so we're doing a formal wear sushi dinner," You explain, and his eyebrows pull knit as he questions the formal aspect. Shrugging your shoulders, you shift your weight between your left and right leg, "I like business clothes. Makes me feel powerful."
"I get that. That's actually pretty cool," He says, letting you step out of his front door; he places one hand at the top of the doorframe. You steal a quick glance as he hangs over you with his attention entirely on you. If someone were to ask, you would not be able to explain why the following words leave you.
"You could come if you want. It's at six at my place, uh—that's weird, isn't it? Uh, just forget I said anything," You chuckle at yourself, but your stomach twists in knots as you want to run to your car or be run over by your car.
"Not weird at all," He smiles down at you, and it eases a little bit of the anxiety resting in your chest.
"You could bring Maddy if that makes it less weird," You suggest, but he points out bringing her would make it weird. Her attitude and demand for attention would likely cast negative energy all over your birthday dinner. You offer a timid goodnight before going to your car. When you get home, you close your bedroom door and continue trying to convince yourself he would not come anyway. You move toward your window; your old jewelry box sits beneath the windowsill. Beneath the top sits, the blunt Fezco previously rolled for you and the multicolored lighter. You check to make sure your room door's locked before throwing down a towel at the bottom of it. Pushing the window, you light the blunt bringing it up to your lips. This secret pleasure being the only thing in your life that's only your own—not even Lexi knows you smoke. You are aware technically, you share this secret with Fezco, but that's beside the point. In the middle of your smoke, you light the eucalyptus candle on your desk. You move the towel from the door and wait a few minutes before blowing out the candle and turning on your oil diffuser. In your closet, you settle on the sour cream and onion chips as you are all out of your giant bag of skittles. Turning on your television, you watch New Girl until you wake up the following day with your television now off and the bag of chips empty.
You and Lexi go on and on about the carnival happening that night at school. You cannot pretend that you are not excited; your parents plan to walk around as well but promise not to bother you. When the day ends, you get ready at Lexi's house. You keep a smile on your face despite Lexi's mother being clearly intoxicated as she greets you. Upstairs in her shared room, Cassie's already long gone, likely with Maddy.
"I love your style," Lexi gushes as she stares at her own in the mirror. You wear tan baggy sweats but not baggy where you drown in them. The crop top you wear shows a little bit of your stomach and compliments the sweatpants being only a shade lighter. You tie it all together with a white bomber jacket and converse. Around your neck sits a dainty gold chain that you pair with little gold hoops.
"You have such a cute style, though," You remind her, but she appears uncertain with her denim overalls and white long sleeve undershirt. The two of you listen to music and chat about nothing in particular as you both wait for the sun to go down. Once it had, the two of you arrived at the carnival smiling at all the lights. You get on about three rides and play two games before Lexi says she needs to use the bathroom. She leaves you next to the ring toss booth. Both hands in your jacket pocket, you bounce on your feet as you patiently wait. In the corner of your eyes, you catch someone moving fast; the pensive look on his face and tension between his shoulders almost deter you from saying anything—keyword, almost.
"Hey, Nate!" You call out, waving to him as he scans for who called his name. A smile takes over his features as he spots you. Before you know it, his tall figure stands in front of you. "Having fun?"
"Yeah. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" He questions; smiling up at him, you shrug your shoulders. Your mind notes that you were not aware that he would want to know, but you settle on smiling like an idiot. "You should come by the booth, say hi to my folks."
"That's okay. Plus, I'm waiting for Le—"Your attempts to say no dissolve into nothing as he brings his arm around you. He goes on about how his parents love you and how you would love their chili. "Nate, I really should wait."
"Aw, come on, please. You look really beautiful, and you've been helping me out. Let me treat you to chili," He pleads; glancing at the bathrooms, you text Lexi and tell yourself a few minutes will not hurt anything. Had you known he and Maddy were arguing just seconds earlier, you likely would have stayed to yourself.
"(Y/n)!" Marsha exclaims, pulling you into a hug as Cal welcomes you. He immediately begins making you a bowl of chili while his wife introduces you to her other son Aaron. The interaction between you and Aaron happens swiftly; he says hello but does not spare you a glance.
Lex✨: Well arent u just the supportive gf
You: not funny🙄
You: where r u?? Ur my excuse to leave the booth
The read receipt stares back at you, and you can practically hear Lexi laughing at you. Nate joins your side, asking if you are alright; locking your phone, you nod profusely. Your parents stop by the booth buying a cup of chili, chatting away with Marsha and Cal.
"Mr and Mrs (L/n). Hi, I'm Nate. Your daughter is a lifesaver," Nate introduces himself with a honey-sweet smile. He shakes your father's hand and kisses your mothers. It's obvious your parents love every second of the interaction. They move out of the way as the chili cook winner gets announced. You try to exit the booth once all eyes fall onto the Jacobs family, but Nate wraps his arm around you for the picture.
The crowd cheers happily, and your smile falters as you make eye contact with Maddy. Her claps are slow and almost ominous as she glares daggers at your head. Nate follows your gaze, and you inhale sharply as she struts over. You pull away from Nate, backing away like a cowering animal.
"Yeah, I'm not supposed to be here right now because I'm dressed like a hooker, and none of you like me. But I wanted to say congratulations," Maddy silences the crowd as she reaches the booth. Her eyes are no longer on you, but you can feel the way your presence only fans the flames. Nate tells her to leave, but instead, her hand comes up onto one of the pots of chili, knocking it down. The crowd's no help as they 'ooh' at her behavior.
"What in God's name is your problem?" Marsha exclaims, but Maddy's far from done.
"You, cunt!" She exclaims as Nate rushes out of the booth, grabbing her by her forearm and pulling her away. His face was redder than you had ever seen anyone's, and his stride fast as Maddy's little legs struggled to keep up. Strangely enough, it's much like how you imagine her attending your birthday dinner. Wreaking havoc on everything and everyone she does not like. You bend down to help Aaron clean up, but Marsha assures you that they got it—lingering for another few minutes, you decide to join your parents. The three of you walk in a state of shock, the last few minutes feeling unreal almost. You find Lexi buying fried Oreos, splitting from your parents; you recount the entire story to Lexi.
"No freaking way. I passed her when she was heading that way. I knew I should've followed," She says, admitting she was watching how Nate kissed up to your parents. You roll your eyes and mutter; you think you have had your fill of Nate Jacobs and Maddy Perez's drama. That night you sleepover at Lexi's, the two of you eat snacks watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The next day Lexi joins you at your house; the two of you settle on Wii sports for a few hours. You both receive invites to Daniel's Halloween party coming up not long after.
"Since when do I get invited to parties?" You question, and Lexi carefully lines up her bowling ball as she questions, what do you mean? "You always end up inviting me, but no one ever just texts me to invite me to a party."
"Guess that's what happens when you're Nate Jacob's little girlfriend," She says; getting a strike, she does an embarrassing celebratory dance. It makes you wonder how she gets invited to said parties in question.
"Whatever. What are you going as?" You question, and Lexi squeals with excitement as she explains her Bob Ross costume. After explaining the few things that she has purchased, she redirected your question back to you. Though you do not want to admit it, you have been thinking about costumes and decided on one weeks ago.
"I was thinking an Umpire. I have black spandex, a black cap, and I could expedite the shipping on the shirt and socks," You explain, and she narrows her eyes at you as she once again makes it about Nate. In honesty, the costume had nothing to do with Nate. Despite being comfortable in your routine, you were yearning for something you never really had an interest in before, looking sexy. The shirt had a questionable but still tasteful neckline, and the spandex shaped your butt nicely. As the conversation moves from Halloween to your birthday dinner, you place the order. Lexi gushes in excitement about giving you the gift she bought. Your Saturday carries on like this, but Lexi does not stay over. Instead of hiding away in your room, you move to the kitchen, deciding to make cookies from scratch. Flour resides all over your hands, scarcely on your arms, and on a good portion of your shirt. Frank Ocean plays throughout the empty house as you roll the dough. Your phone dings loudly over the speaker, and Siri notified you of a text from "Nate football emoji."
Nate🏈: sorry about yesterday. Maddys just a pain
You: no need to apologize. Is your Mom okay?
Nate🏈: yeah shes fine
Unsure of what to say, you lock your phone, opting to return to your baking. You shake off your thoughts about the carnival and how angry Nate appeared. Saturday was a quiet day for you—just as you liked.
Monday, you woke to your parents singing Happy Birthday with a cupcake light. Your Mom made french toast sticks and hash browns—your favorite. At your locker, Lexi greets you with a big smile and decorations all over the surface. The inside was no better as balloons filled it to the brim.
"You're cute," You struggle to fight the smile that burns your cheeks as she wraps her arms around you. Several of your peers watch the two of you as your locker now sticks out like a colorful sore thumb. The second biggest shock of your day happens during lunch Rue approaches you with a birthday card. She barely looks you in the eyes as she acknowledges her abandonment of your friendship. You thank her happily while introducing yourself to her friend Jules. Jules wishes you a happy birthday before Rue and herself leave you and Lexi.
"So the plot thickens," Lexi says, and you both agree that despite the friendship being practically gone, it was good to see Rue getting better. At lunch, you also learn Maddy did not come to school. When you arrive home, anticipation fills you; you shower, shaving every inch of your body. The perfume-scented lotion glides across your skin with ease. You spend another two hours in front of your vanity applying makeup. Forty—five of those minutes consist of applying the rhinestones to your eyelid to complete the look you had in mind. Standing in front of your full-length mirror, you grin ear to ear. The apricot-colored suit looks amazing against your skin, and the rhinestone finish on your eyes draws just enough attention to complete the bold ensemble. Lexi enters your room without warning, her eyes widen, and the two of you just stare at each other for a minute. You watch as her smile falters as you shake your head, shifting as she grows unconscious under your gaze.
"You have no right. No right looking this good at my birthday dinner," Your stern look dissolves into a big grin, and she pulls you into a hug. Lexi pulls back closely, inspecting the carefully placed rhinestones. Your mother calls you both down for dinner, and it's two minutes from six when the doorbell rings.
"Did you invite someone else?" Lexi questions settling into her seat as she eyes the sushi that covers most of the table. You shake your head, not recalling anyone else that would be attending. When your mother returns to the kitchen, in her hands rests a dozen pink roses. Nate follows behind her with a suit on and a gift bag in his hand. Your father happily greets him as your mother places her flowers in a vase; Lexi cannot fight the grin off her features.
"Thank you for having me, Mr (L/n)," Nate says as your father offers the seat to the left of you. He places your gift with the others near the table on the floor and adjusts his suit jacket as he takes a seat.
"You look beautiful," He compliments quietly, but no sound besides your mother moving fills the room, so Lexi and your father obviously hear him. At first, dinner feels uncomfortable almost, Lexi's uncertain what to say, and your parents make small talk. It takes about fifteen minutes before the five of you laugh as if this dinner was a weekly occurrence.
"—and after Rue falls (Y/n) starts cry like a madman. I killed her! I killed Rue! Meanwhile, I'm trying not to laugh as Rue plays dead and (Y/n) having a full-on meltdown," Lexi clutches her stomach as she struggles to not laugh and recount the childhood memory. Your parents and Nate laugh with her while you shake your head.
"It was terrifying. I really thought Rue was dead," You explain, picking up a spicy tuna roll with your chopsticks. Nate decides to throw his hat in the ring with a story; he explains it was during the eighth grade. He twisted his ankle during football practice and was sitting in the nurses' office. You were already there with a lollipop from the nurse; it was not opened yet. Nate was crying because of his ankle, and his father told him to stop crying.
"My Dad has this habit of reminding me I'm a guy. I was still crying but trying to make it seem like I wasn't. (Y/n) came over and gave me her lollipop; I just kind of stared at her like an idiot but smiled. Then uh Mrs. (L/n) showed up, and you guys were off. My story isn't funny like Lexi's, but the point is (Y/n) is probably the nicest person I know. Happy Birthday," Raising his water, your parents and Lexi follow his lead. You smile at Nate, thanking him for being so sweet as your father asks if you want to open presents now. You start with Lexi's; her smile widens as you open the gift box.
"Lex," Your jaw drops at the airbrush box; you are certain she has paid at least a hundred dollars on it. Lexi cuts you off before you can protest the expensive gift; she assures you of her store credit and discounts she got for it. Next, you move to your mothers' gift, a box of essential oils and candles greet you. You smile happily, thanking her, in the back of your mind thinking of how she unconsciously enables your weed habit. Before you can choose Nate's gift, your father insists you open the one from him. The big box feels hollow as you move it; opening it, a paper sits inside.
Meet Biscuit, love Mom and Dad.
"Biscuit?" You question, looking over the basement door now swung wide open; as you opened the box, your mother snuck off. Her footsteps coming back up the stairs brings the alleviation of your confusion. In her hands, a tan pitbull looks around at you all with a sweet smile. "Oh my gosh is he mine?"
"Yeah, sweetie," Your Dad says, watching as you blink profusely to stop the tears in your eyes. A chuckle fills the room as your bottom lip sticks out, and you stare at BBiscuit like the apple of your eye. Lexi smiles, knowingly revealing she helped pick him out down at the shelter. You nearly snatch him from your mother, holding him close to your chest; he licks at your chin.
"I don't think I'm going to beat you getting a dog, but you'll like this too," Nate says, placing the gift bag in front of you. Raising an eyebrow at his confident smirk, you hand Biscuit to your father. You stand up, pulling out the tissue paper from the bag; your eyes widen as a big grin sits on your lips.
"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! Where'd you find this?" You exclaim, pulling out the bag of all yellow skittles. Nate shrugs, playing coy as you stare at him. Dinner continues with the five of you finishing the sushi; you mainly play with Biscuit. At one point, you even eavesdrop as Lexi and Nate make small talk. Lexi's the first to leave, and your parents leave you to walk Nate out.
"I hope you enjoyed your birthday," Nate says, nodding your head as a giddiness tickles your chest. Your mind was once certain this was too good to be true, but lines were blurring. As Nate leans down, you want nothing more than to meet him in the middle; his lips hit your cheekbone.
"You're still dating Maddy. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not that kind of girl," You whisper, not meeting his eyes, but he brings his hand to your chin, lifting it.
"That's fair. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't ruin tonight," He says, and you shake your head, muttering it was perfect. As he leaves, you watch him from the window; he walks slowly to his car. Not once does he look up as he types away on his phone; a curiosity holds you in a chokehold. Why was Nate always so glued to his phone?
If your Birthday on Monday was a fairytale, then Tuesday was a horror film. Maddy came to school with a turtleneck and dark hoodie; by fourth period, Nate was being escorted through the halls by the cops. Your locker sits at the bend before you turn down toward the administration offices and the parking lot exit.
"Nate?" As he stops a few feet from you, you are uncertain where your brazenness comes from. The cop urges him to continue walking but leans down by your ear so quickly someone could convince you it did not happen.
"Don't believe anything they tell you," He says before his father pushes him forward to continue on. The school buzzes about everything they can, and you learn from Lexi that Nate had allegedly choked Maddy the night of the carnival. By sixth period the principal pulls you from class; in an empty classroom stands the two officers from before and your parents.
"Am I in trouble?" You question, looking at your parents, but the officers immediately reassure you. They explain, they only have some questions and cannot do so without your parents present.
"What happened the night of the Carnival that you can remember?" You explain what time you and Lexi arrived together. Then how you ran into Nate, and he invited you to his family's booth. Lastly, the scene Maddy caused in front of everyone.
"After that, he and Maddy walked off. I did not see them again—is Maddy okay?" You ask; looking from the officers to your principal, no one even attempts to answer your question. They offer you the professional response of all possibilities being investigated.
"Have you ever seen your classmate Nate become really angry? Maybe do something he later regretted." The question takes you back, your mind fills with the kind guy who attended your birthday dinner. This smokescreen blinds you from all the signs pointing to Nate's dark persona.
"I—I'm not sure," Looking at your parents, your father speaks up, deciding it was enough. Out in the hall, you ask to go home, and your mother guides you to the main office. Your father joins you both a few minutes after with your jacket and tote bag. On your way out, you briefly make eye contact with Maddy. She sits next to her mother with her hood up, sipping an orange Gatorade. On the car ride home, your parents fail to stay upbeat, your father suggests going out for lunch. Even using your love for IHop to coax you out of your shell.
"I just want to lay down," You mutter, leaning your head on the door; you close your eyes. Tension resting between your eyes, you only open them again as the car rolls to a stop in your driveway. Your parents take your car keys, promising to go retrieve your car. In your room, Biscuit licks at your face, his tail wagging nonstop at the sight of you. You cannot recall when you fall asleep, but you wake to Lexi calling you to go skating with Jules and Rue. On any other day, you were sure your parents would set a strict curfew; instead of enforcing that, your father hands you thirty dollars, and your mother cautiously asks if you are okay. You give them a shallow answer of being fine before leaving.
Lexi and Rue greet you with large smiles; Jules offers a curt smile before pulling Rue to skate. You grab a pair of skates from the desk and join where the girls left their things. Jules and Lexi join you as Rue insists, "One more time!"
"Rue seems really good," Lexi points out as you focus on your other skate, and Jules watches skate holding a large smile. Jules happily agrees with the observation, having not the slightest clue of how good this was in her recovery process. Lexi blatantly states it because of Jules, in which she fails to find any other reason Rue appears so cheerful.
"You make her really happy, Jules. The last time I saw her smile like that was before her Dad got sick," You explain. Jules's smile falters before she excuses herself to the bathroom. You glance at Lexi, who seemingly brushes off of the odd interaction. Before you can push on the subject, Rue pulls you onto your feet; Lexi joins your unaccompanied side.
"We haven't done this in so long," Lexi smiles, and you cannot fight the chuckle that leaves your lips. The music plays loud in your ears, and all the troubles from before wash away. Rue tumbles to the ground causing a domino effect as you follow, and Lexi struggles to stay on her feet as she lets your hand go.
Your parents allow you to skip Wednesday, but all your classmates buzz about Nate and Maddy on Thursday. Despite trying to focus on any and everything else, you find yourself checking your phone. Not a word from him. You consider messaging him, but you always follow with deleting it entirely for every message you type.
Saturday provides you the perfect distraction, your big debut. Who the hell truly expected (Y/n) (L/n) to be at one of the biggest parties of the fall. You make every movement purposeful as you do your make-up, another rhinestone look for the night. On your way out, as Lexi honks for you, you make sure to keep your jacket closed for your parents. They ask you to text them updates that you are okay throughout the night. When you arrive at the party, you ditch your jacket in Lexi's car, Rue and Jules arrive together, but something's off.
"You look great," Rue offers with a timid smile, thanking her as you let Lexi lead you all inside. The music blocks you from even hearing your inner thoughts, and the room reeks of sweat and boozes. You note the smoke detectors are covered with a bowl, which explains the smoky house.
"I'm going to take a walk," You say. Lexi asks if you need company, but you promise it will just be around the party. You start in the kitchen, only two feet in Aidan Clarke's eyes go wide.
"As I live and breathe. I must be drunk-drunk if I think I am actually seeing class president (Y/n) (L/n)!" He exclaims. Your face warms as he smiles at you; the wide receiver was known for his friendliness. Freshman year, all the girls had a crush on him, which never really changed, but you just stopped keeping up with the schools' social climate.
"And what are you supposed to be?" You question, grabbing a cup, you pour a little bit of the Pink Whitney and drown it in lemonade. He chuckles at your question while shaking his head. The backward navy blue cap matches his navy blue shirt that he wears with a gold chain and blunts on his ears.
"And you know this, man!" He says, tilting your head back; the music masks your silvery laugh. The elongated oh that leaves your lips as you realize he's Smokey from Friday only makes you laugh further. Cassie struts in, grabbing the Pink Whitney; she drinks straight from the bottle before stomping off with it. You consider going after her but instead shoot Lexi a text.
"Aye, Aidan! (Y/n)! Come play!" Kaleb from the soccer team calls out; he and his twin brother stand on opposite ends of a small end table. On it, tape makes a small board; before you can protest, Aidan escorts you over with his hand on the small of your back.
"I—um, I don't know how to play?" You explain, placing a shot in the center. Aidan explains it simply. The four of you will start with an even level of alcohol in a red solo cup. At the same time, you will all chug your cups before beginning to try and flip your cups. Every successful flip cup equals one move away from you; if the shot passes over your side off the board, you have to take the shot. Kaleb has one of the freshmen tell you four when to start. You clumsily chug your mixture, some of it pouring down your chin. Never in your life did you think any kind of anxiety was good, but the anxiousness that came with trying to flip your cup brought a thrill. The game lasts for what feels like forever turns out to only be nearly two minutes. You play more defense than offense as Aidan flips his cup expertly, moving the shot closer and closer to your edge. Nathan pushes the shot closer to his brothers' side, and it becomes a game of if it will be your shot or Kalebs. You nearly flip your cup, but it rocks before toppling over. Aidan flips his pushing it off to your side, and the boys cheer in joy as Kaleb and Nathan high-five you, saying good effort. They watch you with expectant eyes as the tequila shot stares back at you.
"You don't have to," Aidan reaches for the shot, but you pull back, and his eyes widen as he raises his hands in surrender. You throw back the shot, gagging as soon as you swallow. The cheers you receive from the simple action make you understand why others like parties. That sense of belonging, feeling like nothing else in the world matters other than these very moments. They ask for a round two, but you shake your head before turning away. Aidan excuses himself before jogging to catch up with you. "Not so fast (L/n). You're mine for the night, deal?"
At a loss for words, you cannot deny the flutter in your stomach or how pretty you feel. You have never truly noticed Aidan, but now every interaction feels like something more. The random hellos in the hallway smiles in your direction, or even the laughing emoji he sends when you repost TikTok's. He holds out his pinky, still waiting as you disappear into your mind. Nate flashes through your mind; checking your phone, you see nothing from him. You put your phone away, hooking your pinky in Aidan's, "I'm yours."
The two of you run into Jules rushing back inside of the party; you flinch as you feel her damp clothes against your skin. She giggles, pulling you into a hug, shushing you, her arms around your neck; she stumbles on her words in your ears.
"D—don't tell Nate," You frown, but before you can question her words, she stumbles back into the party. Aidan chuckles, asking if she would need a ride home, but you assure him that she already had one.
"Do you want to dance?" He asks; panic flashes across your eyes as you glance at your peers' dance. The girls bump and grind in a manner that should count as sex with clothes on. Aidan leans down, stealing your gaze from the others, "We don't have to do that. I mean actually dance. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Yeah, sure," You whisper, allowing him to take your hand and lead you over to the dance floor. Aidan's two-step makes you giggle, but he bops to the music on beat, and you mimic him. The song changes to an EDM mix that you do not recognize, but the crowd loses it, the high energy more intoxicating than the actual alcohol. Becoming bold, you turn around, pressing your backside to Aidan's front. The two of you sway as you rest your head back on his chest and a light laugh leaves both of you. You rest your eyes for a second, soaking in the moment, falling so deep you miss the beginning of your peers chanting Nate's name.
"Nate! Nate! Nate!" Your smile crumbles as you open your eyes; he stands by the door in a striped prison outfit. At his side stands Maddy, but you barely notice her, his gaze meets your own, and the chanting feels as though you have earplugs in. You can hear them plain as day, but your entire being becomes encapsulated by Nate. He breaks your gaze as both he and Maddy pass by you. You watch as he lifts her on the table before kissing her.
"I'm sorry, I have to go," You say, rushing away; you ignore how Aidan calls out to you. Catching sight of Rue and Jules, you note the way Jules either glares or looks away from Nate. You spot Lexi, ignoring both Rue and Jules as you immediately beg Lexi to take you home. Chewing on your bottom lip, you want to cry, knowing very well you have no place to be hurt.
That night you sleep at Lexi's; she cuddles you to bed as you silently cry. You are certain Lexi knows why but she offers you the decency of allowing you to just cry. The next day you hid beneath her comforter with a throbbing headache. Lexi's Mom offered you a glass of wine to curb the headache and a speech of men being horrible.
Nate🏈: Hey sorry I was MIA this whole situation was a lot ya know
You open the message still hiding beneath Lexi's comforter. Lexi had been gone for at least ten minutes to make breakfast, and Cassie was hiding under her own blanket. You consider responding to Nate but instead chose it out entirely.
Nate🏈: can I see u today?
Every fiber in your body screams at you to indulge him; in all honesty, you wanted to. You were in far too deep, and being hyper-aware of that only worsened the feeling in your chest. Nate lingered by your locker at school, but Lexi easily got your stuff for you. In the first period, the announcement was an official apology to Nate, to which you put your head down. You took note of Jules being absent, and Lexi went on about how Rue had a conspiracy. Texting Rue, you meet with her in the second-floor bathroom during the sixth period. Too busy wallowing in your own shit, you took notice of Rue's manic state but said nothing. All of the red flags of Rue's deteriorating mental health was laid out right in front of you. Still, you entertain her ideas and accept her phone calls at three in the morning; why? Whoever said you had been sleeping either.
The clock reads sixty forty-five when Biscuit barks for you to take him out. You drag yourself out of bed, yelling that you are taking Biscuit out to your parents. His tail wags in joy as you put the harness on him by the door. The route you found he enjoyed the most was simple. Two blocks down, one block over, and then rectangle back to the house. Headlights shine bright on the desolate road beside the street and porch lights as you make it around the corner. The car slows to a stop next to you, and as you look over, Nate puts the passenger side window down.
"(Y/n)," He calls out; shaking your head, you continue walking. You call out that he should not be around, but he turns his hazards on before double parking. He jogs up in front of you, and Biscuits licks at his ankles. "Hey, little guy."
"Nate, you should go," You give Biscuits leash a light tug, but that does nothing to stop how rapidly his tail wags as he sniffs away at Nate.
"Come on (Y/n). I thought we were friends?" He questions; taking a deep breath, you feel that faint burn in the back of your throat. You refuse to meet his gaze as you wish to be anywhere else in the world. It may have begun with the party, but Rue made more and more sense as she explained her theory.
"Well, you thought wrong, Nate. I was your tutor. Mrs. Hoffman can assign someone else," You try to walk around him, but he sidesteps you, blocking your path. A sigh leaves your lips as he questions if it was about the Maddy situation—even going as far as explaining what the cops found.
"Did you catfish Jules and convince her to lie that this Tyler guy hurt Maddy?" You question. He moves back from you as hurt flashes across his eyes; you watch as his eyes narrow. For a second, just from his mannerisms alone, you think him to be innocent. Then there it was, the way he rolls back his tense shoulders—you could never explain why but you just knew. "You did. Now that poor guy is being charged with assault."
It was now your turn to back away from him. You grip Biscuits' leash tightly as you turn around, walking on the tips of your toes. Nate calls out your name, jogging up, and before you can grasp what's happening, he drags you by your forearm to the side of his truck.
"What the hell—!" Placing his hand on your mouth, your eyes water as he stares at you. Your entire body trembles beneath the weight of him pressing you against the cold exterior of his car. When he moves his hand, a breathy sigh leaves his lips as his hands ghost over your face as though you are made of glass. You lean as far back as you can, but he takes both your cheeks in his hands and pulls you into a kiss. The force of him against you earns a grimace, and a tear escapes you. "No, no, no, don't cry. You just don't understand okay. We're going to be together. I had it all figured out and then—goddammit Maddy."
Your eyebrows furrow as you look up at him, riding a fine line of not knowing the full weight of his capabilities. He places his hand on the truck above you, blocking you in between him and his car. Your voice cracks as you speak, barely above a whisper, "Nate. We will never be together."
A breathy chuckle leaves his lip, looking off down the empty road before his eyes refocus back onto you. He brings his finger up to the side of your face tracing it; you only mark a few of the impossible standards he holds for girls in his mind, and somehow, here you were. "You're going to come to winter formal with me. I know you will because you are beautiful, smart, and kind. You're going to smile for pictures, laugh, and dance like you love me. Because if you don't, Jules becomes a registered sex-offender, and I make sure you never get into Stanford."
You stand rigid as he leans in closer and closer to your ear; he whispers the last part with a sickening smile. All the pieces fall into your lap for what they truly have been the entire time. Your mind once again clashes between the Nate Jacobs you thought you knew and the realization that you knew not a single goddamn thing about him, not truly. When he realizes you likely will not say anything more, he plants a soft kiss on your cheek.
"I'll text you when I get home. You looked really good at Halloween, by the way!" He calls out as he climbs into his truck, stumbling over to the sidewalk Biscuit whines—he wants to go home. You take one step before Nate's voice catches your ear again. "Oh, and stop talking to Aidan Clark, cool?"
"Cool." Your voice holds a chilling calm despite the tears in your eyes. A cramp radiates up your back as you fight against the way your entire body shakes. You stare at Nate, who stares back at you with a soft expression and a long silence occurs after. He calls out goodnight, and your response comes out almost mechanical. Again, Biscuit whines up at you; this time, you know it's not about going home; he whines up at you as if he knows. You pick him up, carrying him the rest of the way home, stopping on your porch at the sight of the moths flying into the light. They only stay on the bulb for a few seconds before moving, but each time they return again and again. You consider turning the light off, but you freeze with your hand on the switch, leaving it on you rush inside. In your room, you curl up in bed without another word. Biscuit rubs his face against your own, but it does nothing to remedy how fast your heart hammers. Just like many others, Nate Jacobs had you right where he wanted you; he got you easily—like a moth to a flame.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Cassie Howard/Maddy Perez
Characters: Cassie Howard, Maddy Perez
Additional Tags: Clubbing, Underage Drinking, Bisexual Maddy Perez, Bisexual Cassie Howard, Romantic Friendship
Series: Part 2 of Pride Month Prompts 2020
Summary:
Maddy takes another sip and doesn’t grimace. She never does when she drinks alcohol, no matter how strong it is. She’s kind of invincible, Cassie thinks.
“What flavors?” Cassie asks.
“All peppermint, duh. Foolproof. So I taste good all night.”
Happy Pride Month and welcome to my first ever month-long fic challenge! For thirty days, I'll be writing and posting LGBTQ+ fics inspired by the prompts listed here. These fics will be anywhere from 100-1,500 words, will be for different fandoms, ships and characters, and will all stand alone. Here goes nothing!
