do u have more thoughts about any dirtbag mcr bfs..... 👉👈
hello mootie! well yes! yes in fact i do! and they’ve been haunting me lmfao
anything for you <3
My Chem Dirtbag BF Headcanons
a/n: okay, so we gotta add to the dirtbag verse because we already have dirtbag frank and basement gerard but, barely any for mikey or ray. we also need to collectively name them. also pls check out @cryobabiess as they’re the one who created the whole dirtbagverse in the first place <3
tags: established relationships, fluff, slight nsfw
pairings: frank iero x reader, gerard way x reader, mikey way x reader, ray toro x reader
Frank
His room is a literal biological hazard. You tell him to clean, he kisses you instead and says “but I’m cute.”
He genuinely thinks spraying Febreze on his clothing counts as doing laundry.
He carries around a lighter that he never uses, because he just uses yours. He just likes flicking it open menacingly.
Calls you the most obscene pet names in the sweetest voice, “hey sweetheart” becomes “hey my little goblin"
If you say you’re cold, he hands you his jacket. If he’s cold, he takes your jacket. Doesn't matter whether it fits or not.
He's constantly bruised, scraped, or bleeding from something stupid. Tries to hide it so you don’t “lecture” him.
He tries to be suave, fails horrifically, kisses you in the middle of laughing about it.
He loves pulling you into his lap when he’s all bruised up from whatever chaos he got into that day. He smirks when you scold him, because the second your hands are on his face checking the damage, he’s murmuring, “yeah? keep touching me,” voice low, already getting worked up from the attention.
Gerard
He permanently looks like he just woke up in a broom closet.
Theres always paint under his nails, in his hair, on his clothes, on you. It’s like dating a human art project.
He attempts to keep “organizing” the basement but it just becomes new piles of things.
He drinks gas-station coffee like it’s a sacrament.
He'll call you down to the basement to “see something” and it’s 3 a.m. and he’s built a weird sculpture out of old cereal boxes.
He's extremely clingy when he’s tired. He curls around you like a cat and refuses to let you leave the couch/beanbag/floor.
He gets so dramatic if you don’t text back fast enough. “Oh, abandoned again… alas.”
But, he’ll stand behind you while you’re doing anything and kiss the back of your neck like you’re the only solid thing in his world.
When you come downstairs and stand in front of him, he immediately goes pink and won’t look up; but when you tilt his chin with one finger, he gives this tiny, shaky breath and whispers, “please… kiss me?” like he’s embarrassed to want you that badly, thighs already pressing together like he can’t help himself.
Mikey
He looks quiet and clean but is actually the biggest menace.
He seems to know every weird corner of the internet and sends you cursed memes at 2 a.m.
He ditches dishes in the sink “to soak” and they live there for 48 hours minimum.
He steals your snacks with zero guilt. “I thought we were sharing.”
He will listen to you talk for hours and look so lovingly attentive, then say something odd like, “We should fake our deaths.”
He loves when you sit on his lap while he’s gaming or reading. Pretends he’s unaffected. He is not unaffected.
If you’re upset, he does something stupid just to make you laugh like full-on planking on the counter.
He looks quiet, but the second you’re alone he backs you against the nearest wall, pushes his glasses up with his thumb, and breathes a low, wrecking whisper right against your mouth, “you drive me insane, you know that?” His hands are already wandering like he’s been holding back for hours.
Ray
He actually tries to be responsible. But, fails anyway.
Tools, cables, guitar parts everywhere. He steps over them proudly like “I know where everything is.”
He eats straight from the pot. Says washing bowls is “inefficient.”
He wears the same hoodie for weeks until you physically peel it off him.
Ray gives the best hugs: huge, warm, full-body hugs that make you melt every time.
He leaves little love notes on your phone, in your bag, in your shoes. Completely earnest about how much he adores you.
If you’re mad at him, he gets those big puppy eyes and immediately tries to fix it . He says things like: “Tell me what I can do, I wanna make it right.”
Dirtbag tendencies aside, he’s the most loyal, most soft-hearted, most ride-or-die boyfriend you could ask for.
He picks you up like you weigh nothing, hands big and confident on your hips, and sets you on the nearest surface with this deep, breathy laugh. Stands between your legs and kisses you slow but intense, curls brushing your cheek as he murmurs, “missed you… c’mon, let me take care of you.”
