Planes of the Multiverse as School Teachers
The planeswalker Nissa Revane has the ability to “hear” the voices of planes as she travels the Multiverse. This got me thinking about what the different planes might sound like to her.
Meanwhile, my kids have started school again this week, so I’ve got old memories of school on the brain.
With that in mind, I give you The Planes of the Multiverse (as inspired by teachers from my childhood...)
Dominaria - My kindergarten teacher. I can’t really remember any specific lesson she taught me. For one thing, it was a really long time ago. For another thing, it was a really broad range of topics. Still, she provided a foundation for all the other learning that came down the road, so I’m grateful for that.
Shandalar and Mercadia - My first and second grade teachers. For the two years after kindergarten, I was in a first/second grade split class. Because there were twice as many kids, we had two teachers. I liked them both, but I would be really hard pressed to tell you a story where I’m 100% sure which teacher I was thinking of, and not mix them up.
Kaladesh - Third grade music teacher. Wanted all the kids to believe that all their dreams were possible and worthy of effort. Liked how creative I was with a synthesizer, but wished I practiced the actual songs more.
Zendikar - Grade school P.E. teacher. Shouted a lot, but also really cared about us. Secretly stressed about losing her livelihood. Left for a while when there were budget cuts. Came back later on, but it wasn’t really the same. She was told to focus on fitness progress and assessment, but we all just wanted to go back to dodgeball and scooter races.
Theros - Fourth grade teacher who had a great reading voice. I mean, I’m sure I learned a lot from him outside from just reading, but we all really remember him for the great story time.
Mirrodin - Seventh grade science teacher. Opened my eyes to the limitless possibilities of science. I was convinced I would succeed in inventing a perpetual motion device for the science fair that year.
New Phyrexia - Eighth grade science teacher. Spent a lot of time explaining how the science we learned in seventh grade was actually a lot more complex and gritty when you dive a little deeper. Offered a more complete understanding, but the subject lost a lot of the initial luster. Seemed to enjoy the unit on dissections just a tad too much.
Tarkir - Eighth grade social studies teacher. Kept hyping up how the second half of the school year was when we would get to “the really good stuff.” Within the first couple weeks of the second semester though, I was really missing the first semester.
Lorwyn/Shadowmoor - Ninth grade english teacher. Very friendly, energetic, and encouraging. Went on maternity leave halfway through the year. Her replacement had a TOTALLY different teaching style. Not so bright and bubbly, but was still pretty cool in his own way.
Fiora - Tenth grade 20th century studies teacher. Somehow managed to accomplish the miracle of getting a bunch of teenagers interested in politics.
Ravnica - Tenth and twelfth grade humanities teacher. Brilliant guy who pretty much just knew everything about everything. Almost never completed a lesson plan in class because a single question from one of the students could lead to a discussion all over the place with points made from just about every angle and perspective.
Kamigawa - Eleventh grade foreign language teacher. Definitely knew her subject forwards and backwards. But was kind of oblivious when she started teaching on day one speaking in another language, and most of the class couldn’t understand her. A lot of the curriculum centered around watching foreign soap operas.
Innistrad - Eleventh grade english lit teacher. Loved assigning depressing books like Grapes of Wrath and Lord of the Flies. Also enjoyed explaining how basically every bedtime we ever heard had a dark and twisted original version.
And finally...
Alara - The collective faculty of the high school elective classes that nobody would believe were in the same department:
Bant - High school choir teacher. Liked to think he was leading a chorus of angels. In reality, it was a lot of solo time for the strongest singers, and most people were OK with that.
Esper - High school band teacher. Precise and structured technique without any pesky soul getting in the way.
Grixis - High school newspaper teacher. Bitterly holding on to the last strands of power in a dying medium. Most of his students were roped in by their older siblings who were former students of his. Desperate for fresh blood.
Jund - High school speech and debate teacher. Happy to sit back and let the students verbally devour one another. Enjoyed chaos more than she would ever admit.
Naya - High school drama teacher. Tried to create an environment with no small parts, where everyone could flourish and thrive. But it was also apparent that some students were just WAY bigger deals than others.
Edit: Updated to include planes visited after the original post was published...
Amonkhet - Student Body Government adviser. Presented a facade of students working together to achieve their full potential. In reality it was plagued by secrets and corruption among the top officers, and a few key officers were mysteriously MIA before the semester even started.
Ixalan - Second grade basketball team coach. I literally have no recollection of how I ended up on the team, and leaving wasn’t an option. There was a lot of roaring, stealing, fishy business, and holier than thou attitudes, but I did manage to make one or two new friends, and got some exercise while I was at it.