It’s funny how one gesture can redefine a friendship.
Context: chris and his best friend have been friends for ever. I consider myself his friend too, but definitely by association. This friend, let’s call him Dan (not his real name.) Last week ish, I was talking to Chris about love languages and how Dan’s is 100% gifts. Dan sucks at talking about anything remotely serious, or feelings in general, but to show he cares about you, he’ll pay for dinner, or movie tickets when you’re not expecting it.
So fast forward to yesterday, and an amazon package comes to my door, but I haven’t ordered anything. My parents also both use my prime account so I ask either of them if they’ve ordered something but forgot to change the shipping address. Nope, neither of them ordered anything, so i open it, and it’s gift-wrapped with a note that says something to the effect of ‘for one of the best people that I know’ and it’s a candle in a gorgeous sweet mint scent.
Like ugly crying in my car in front of a client’s house. I’ve had a /bad/ couple of weeks. Big scary depression thanks to a big sudden loss in my income. And this surprise gift just.. ugh made me feel like someone wants me to feel better, but not for any selfish reason. (My anxiety always tells me that the only reason anyone tried to cheer me up is so they don’t have to deal with my depression, or any number of reasons that aren’t selfless)
Then I look in an envelope and it says it’s from Dan. I text him and apparently his name wasn’t supposed to be on it! So he sent me this little gift just to cheer me up and didn’t want credit for it.
Before this, I just felt like he just thought of me as “chris’ girlfriend” but turns out he actually likes me as a friend! Who knew. That’s what happens when you figure out the ways that someone says they care.
Mine is usually words or quality time, so since Dan doesn’t use his words, I didn’t read ya as being very close.
It’s nice to be wrong sometimes.
Lesson from the universe: make sure that those you care about actually know you care by communicating in their language.