#maht

[simonalkenmayer]

helllo. henlo stinkey goblin. go eat a pie ugly

Are you gonna buy the pie or jus come in here and make the suggestion with nothing to back it up???

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

I’m so scared bc Simon hasn’t responded to anything in like, two hours. I’m thinking maybe it’s like the dread pirate roberts situation and he actually just shirked off running his blog forever and now it’s my responsibility.

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

She Helps.

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

I feel like I’m walking around someone else’s house. Not to be dramatic but have YOU ever logged into someone else’s blog? It’s wild.

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

Do you have any advice on adulting for people going into college this fall?

My advice:

Cry as much as you need to.

Join a club. Join a fucking club or social group. If you’re in a dorm and they do a meet n’ greet, you’re going to feel awkward, but Go To It. This is the time to meet people! Join. A. Club. It’s the best way to find people with common interests. College can be lonely at first, so put yourself out there. If eventually you make some friends elsewhere or you don’t like the club, you can always quit and try something else!

Go to your professor’s office hours for each class at least once a semester. Even if it’s just to stop in and say “I just wanted to stop in and look at my performance with you and see how I’m doing in your class.” Even if you know you have a good grade. Especially if you know you have a bad grade. Make your face known.

Sit up front in your lectures or else you will Not pay attention, I mean it.

Join a club.

If you need help, most colleges have campus counseling centers. Take advantage of them, even if nothing’s “majorly” wrong. Do a spring cleaning visit. Talk about finals. Little stressors. Vent.

Join a club.

Freshmen 15 is real, sometimes freshman 30, 40, 50. But the idea that you have to lose it is bullshit. You’re getting older, you’re taking on more responsibility, and you’re eating the way all college students do. Don’t let people make you feel bad about the way your body changes. If you don’t like it, most colleges have rec centers. Just do and be what makes you feel good and comfortable. You’re growing up, and you’ll be a lot of different shapes and sizes in the process, and that’s okay! That’s good!

As for the advice Simon would probably give? Make sure to eat! Don’t get so busy you forget to eat! (Carry a granola bar with you in your backpack.)

Don’t get downtrodden if it’s not exactly what you expect it to be, you’ll learn to like what it is.

Best of luck!

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

True Facts About Simon:

These are facts about Simon I have gathered since I began speaking to him three years ago:

He’s 5′8″

Wait maybe 5′10″

Hm

Drinks 7 gallons of marmalade a day directly out of terracotta pots

Actually probably knows what marmalade is unlike me

only wears no-show socks

specifically fruit-of-the-loom brand with the blue heels and toes

if he wears ankle socks by accident he spirals into blind rage for at least 6 (six) days

cried over the movie Cars

but not the end just during the movie

regularly goes to FYE and pre-smashes all the ramune soda bottles tops

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

My Time Has Come

Okay, Everyone! This takeover is complete! Six hours of being Simon, and I’m whooped. I cannot believe that he spends so much time answering asks! I have to appreciate that! It’s difficult giving everyone the attention their questions and comments deserve!

Tonight has been a lot of fun. I think Simon has gained some new readers and followers, thanks to all of y’all’s participation! Thank you for being so eager to join in and for never, ever being shy!

I’ve had a blast, and I’m humbled that Simon handed his blog over to me for the evening come hell or high wind. Or tadpoles.

Thank you again for all of the fun! Save some questions for the myth himself!

No one is better at answering than he!

-Molly Anne

[simonalkenmayer]

My friend's family has 3 sets of teeth... like baby teeth, juvenile teeth, then adult teeth. How many sets of teeth does Simon have? Is he like a shark?

this ask has me questioning everything I know…..has me shaken to the core……….wh………..who is your friend……..

-Molly Anne