The Tower-XVI
Upright: sudden upheaval, broken pride, disaster,
Reversed: disaster avoided, delayed disaster, fear of suffering
Major Arcana Series
They say that Tarot cards follow the flow of time; now let me riddle you this, do you believe in fatalism?
I shuffled my tarot deck and decided to draw one card per week. Whatever card appears, respective to its position, I will write and associate my thoughts about such.
Today the card I draw was the tower in reversed position.
Over a month ago, our professor asked us why we decided to go to Law School during my legal ethics class. As always, I was the first one to be called. I introduced myself like normal and gave my generic answer concerning why I pursued this difficult, life-changing course.
But here's the twist, our professor wanted to know our deep whys. It caught me off guard. It was a question that I never saw coming. Now there I go trying to defend the generic answer I gave, which made me start to stutter. So I said, I'll figure it out.
That's a difficult question to ask if one is not ready to hear my answer; you see, I was never an open book. I'm at my most vulnerable with the people I trust. That's why you can only fuck me over once, and after that, you're dead to me. The phrase "for old times' sake" never applied to me.
For the longest time, I never knew how to protect myself. I've always been the prey that predators feast on. As of writing, I am diagnosed with PTSD and depression. What compelled me is when these predators hurt the people I love and watch them suffer. At that point, I decided out of self-love. I will not be anyone's victim anymore. Hence, I took a gamble and pursued the course.
My "deep why" still lies here somewhere. I can't say it all here. Maybe someday, I'll be that person who makes a statement.